The Paladin fell because...


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Neutral kids get presents too, so using detect evil to determine who gets what was a stupid idea.

The paladin bought a wagon and went joyriding.


It was a covered wagon. A paladin should have nothing to hide.

The paladin broke her mother's favorite snowglobe.


Which released the demon sealed within said snowglobe. It was just a terrible day for everyone (except for the demon, he had a great time).

The paladin punched a politician in the face.


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The paladin didn't video-record it so that those not fortunate enough to have to courage to punch a politician could live vicariously through it.

The paladin campaigned for equal rights for evil humanoids.


The paladin fell, because in doing so he was playing the devil's advocate.

The paladin is sponsoring the latest Al Pacino movie.


The latest Al Pacino movie is secretly directed by a evil deity, who plans to put a secret message in it that will hypnotize audiences and make them his slaves, and thus, the Paladin fell for supporting evil.

The Paladin found a way to come onto our universe and Carpet Bombed the Earth.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

The Paladin carpet bombings disrupted traffic as Shag and velour floor coverings hurtled out of the sky at massive speeds. Many died, the property damage is in the millions. Entire ecosystems have collapsed, but dang it all if the ground isn't comfier.

The Paladin logged into an internet cafe computer, and forgot to log out.


The page he left open spoiled the new Star Wars movie for a bunch of people.

The Paladin used a suplex to defeat the villainous overlord once and for all.

Silver Crusade

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The Paladin was clearly working with the bad guy, since everyone knows wrestling is fake.

The Paladin started a buffet consisting solely of endangered species.


The Paladin failed to include the required array of sweet, savory, and spicy dipping sauces for the buffet.

The Paladin hosted a jovial feast to celebrate the turning of the calendar to the new year.

Silver Crusade

The Paladin made a New Year's resolution. Since no one keeps their New Year's resolutions, this constituted lying.

The Paladin took down a Christmas tree.


The paladin fell because during the take down of said Christmas tree, via chopping it down, it fell upon an old lady passing by.

The paladin used smite evil on Justin Bieber.

Scarab Sages

He used his powers irresponsibly by wasting his Smiting power on a target against whom a plain ol' Power Attack with a greatsword would have been good enough.

The Paladin went to a cheese shop to buy some cheese.


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Further prolonging the hold of the horrible Cheesemaker Guild, whose ambitions and rule bring misery upon countless peasants. Woe! WOE! Plus, seriously, we've had a boycott of those horrible people going for weeks now, you ought to keep up.

The paladin went shopping for a new uniform.


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A new uniform for his 14 year old assistant. GT was not the right person to ask for advice, and the paladin really shouldn't have gone to the suggested store.

The paladin sold his old sword to buy a new one.


He failed to do a thorough background check on the buyer of the old sword, and found out a week later the that purchaser went on a wholesale slaughtering rampage in a small hamlet nearby.

The Paladin shoveled all the snow off of an old lady's doorstep.


Depriving the old lady of much-needed exercise, hastening her death.
OR...
He shoveled it onto the walkway of the next door neighbour, the jerk.

The paladin caught a mugger and beat him to death.

Scarab Sages

The mugger was street trash who probably deserved what he got, but the guy he was mugging was David Koch - and the Paladin just saved HIS life!

The Paladin peacefully persuaded Cliven Bundy to finally pay his f@$&ing taxes.


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Only the f$~!ing taxes were paid, not the income taxes, sales taxes, or taxes of any other kind. The Paladin failed to uphold the law.

The Paladin made a post in an internet forum.


The paladin fell because it, unintentionally, caused a flame war that somehow led to bloody murder.

The paladin is serving tea at the local home for the elderly.


The tea kept them up all night.

The paladin participated in a Chick tract.


The Paladin declared that Black Leaf is dead with no die rolls at all.

The Paladin lost a game of checkers.


Agreeing to play checkers against a demon for the fate of the universe was a silly idea.

The paladin gambled with the lives of children.

In a game we recently played, there was a paladin that was referred to as "The paladin".


The paladin fell because one of the children had stolen a gummy bear before, and thus the paladin fell because he associated with evil.

The Paladin gambled the lives of everyone in the universe(except him) in a game he knew he could not win.


The paladin fell because he gambled, and gambling of any kind is one of the deadliest sins.

The paladin made home-made ice cream and delivered it to the poor and needy children of his community.


The Paladin's home-made ice cream is terrible! (Two skill points a level doesn't give you many ranks to play with.) All the children dread when the paladin tries to give away his awful ice cream.

The Paladin slept with another woman when he was already married.


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The Paladin fell because he is a Paladin of Shelyn, and she's really cracking down hard on that sort of thing after someone on these boards implied she might support adultery.

The Paladin Killed Puppies for Satan.


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The Paladin killed the puppies by drowning them. But while filling up his [insert something that can be filled up with water here], the Paladin connected his hose to his neighbors tap, thereby adding $1 to his neighbors water bill.

The Paladin volunteered at the local soup kitchen.


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By feeding the homeless goblin children, the paladin ensured they would grow big and strong, at which point their innate evil will take over and they will cause many innocent deaths. The paladin was supposed to burn the soup kitchen to the ground.

The Paladin pal'd around with pallid purple people eaters during din-dins, placing an appalling pall over the public persona of the owner, Paul the Pallbearer. The apocalyptic din caused prevented the Paladin from denting pallid purple people eater's plentiful pledges in polling donors during.


The latest decree from the Paladin's god declared that alliteration was a mortal sin.

The Paladin went on adventure and saved the world while she was pregnant.


Oh, man, you should have heard some of the curses she came up with during morning sickness. She invented several new curse words over the adventure, one which made even Rovagug wince and pause momentarily. Still, for inventing a whole new echelon of profanity, her patron deity stripped her of her powers.

The paladin became the universe's greatest chef. Angel Lords and Demon princes put aside their differences and sat at the same table to taste her fare. Her greatest dish satisfied the Tarrasque before it could start another rampage.


But she had to ask an ancient and sealed sorcerer for the inspiration and skill to be a chef. Who then sealed a portion of his soul into hers to give her the inspiration, and Chef Ramsey for the skill.

The paladin slew the Jabberwocky with a holy vorpal chopstick.


Holy chopsticks don't work on Jabberwockies. It just played dead and rampaged after the paladin left.

The paladin was an orc.


The orc paladin fell because he was unjustly racist to orcs.
The Paladin went into a daycare and slaughtered 50 kids and 20 staff.


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That's 70 people. That's as many as seven tens. And that's terrible.

The paladin ignored the team's strategizing, and charged headfirst into battle, screaming his name.


The paladin fell, because his name was Leeroy Jenkins and causing a massive TPK.

The paladin drove a new monster truck.


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The Paladin fell out of the monster truck, and that embarrassed his deity, who was then made fun of by all the other deities. The Paladin's god then told the Paladin that he had fallen out of his deities favor.

The paladin went onto the Pathfinder message boards and posted this post.


But he lacked the proper decorum when posting and fell with the board into anarchy.

The paladin adopted the only child at the orphanage that was bullied.

Silver Crusade

That child grew up to be a serial killer. Kids are perceptive that way.

Tha Paladin befriended a giant turtle.

Scarab Sages

...named Bowser.

The Paladin made a nice, big, 30-meter katamari!

Silver Crusade

...out of freshly ground orphans.

The Paladin built a giant fort, and didn't allow girls into it.

Scarab Sages

3 people marked this as a favorite.

The Vatican sued for plagiarism.

The Paladin brought rain to a drought-stricken land.


Rayne's family was very upset at the kidnapping, and Rayne couldn't help with the drought.

The paladin named himself Bob.


This increased the number of Bobs in the world, leading to increased confusion over which Bob was which and ultimately increasing the amount of Chaos in the world.

The paladin organized the evacuation of an area devastated by an earthquake.


Technically leading all of the refugees off of a cliff is organization. Not very good organization, mind you...

The Paladin used Smite Evil on a good person.

Scarab Sages

The Paladin fell for hurting the Good person's feelings by impugning they were Evil.

The Paladin tried to kill me with a forklift!


The Paladin missed.

The Paladin went back in time and made Lucas change the Ewoks to Wookies and Jar-Jar into anyone other than Jar-Jar.


In the altered timeline, Lucsd also had Hayden Christianson do Vader's voice in episodes 4-6 for continuity purposes.

The Paladin learned that the Big Bad Villain was his father.


That was a great family reunion. Dear old Dad helped to set me right, and renamed me Rylo Ken.

I climbed down a slippery slope.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Paladin forgot his Cricket familiar, which grants +3 to Acrobatics when going along the straight and narrow path.

The Paladin skooshed a puppy.

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