The Paladin fell because...

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The paladin fell because that would have been the tree's first meal in weeks.

The paladin polished her armor to a mirror sheen.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

This was inconsiderate and endangered the medusa population.

The paladin drank from the fresh mountain spring.

Any dwarven paladin with respect for tradition would have used that water to make beer instead of drinking it raw. The barbarity!

In the course of a drunken bar brawl, the Paladin managed to destroy over 300 gold pieces' worth of property.

The paladin completely disturbed the feng shui of the bar.

The paladin kidnapped a young girl to sacrifice to an ancient red dragon.

Kidnapping a girl for the sacrifice who isn't the princess? Come on now.

The Paladin helped to rebuild houses in a community that had recently been destroyed by an orc raid.

Then she sold the blueprints to the orcs.

The paladin became a florist.

The paladin fell because his name was Gump, Florist Gump.

The paladin ran a marathon.

Apparently, there was something vaguely dangerous and evil back where she started, meaning she fled from danger.

The paladin took a sensible breakfast when there was no threat currently going on.

Scarab Sages

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When there was no threat currently going on, the paladin took forty sensible breakfasts. He took forty breakfasts. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.

The paladin had a three-way with Sonic and Mario.

The paladin fell because he did not return Mario's calls.

The paladin listened to REO speedwagon.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The paladin fell because "I'm gonna keep on loving you!" can be interpreted as a sexually menacing statement.

The paladin fought the good fight, but ultimately failed.

The paladin fell because as long as you keep fighting the good fight you cannot fail. Thus by ultimately failing the paladin failed to fight the good fight, and a paladin must never stop fighting the good fight.
The paladin went to proctologist.

The operation was to remove a stick from the Paladin's rear end.

The Paladin framed the butler for a murder that he committed.

The butler is actually a demon empowered by Frames, and thus his power was enhanced by the paladin.

The paladin killed her master after falsely accusing him of conspiring with a world-destroying lich to undermine the rule of law in the city.

Silver Crusade

The Paladin did not clean the blood up afterwards, and the whole place started to smell.

The Paladin patted a child on the head.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

The paladin implanted a bomb set to explode on contact in the child's head earlier that day and only patted the child's head because he was frustrated nobody had triggered it yet.

The paladin killed an empyreal lord.

Scarab Sages

The paladin honored the Empyreal Lord by giving them one last drink before killing them, thus they used poison against them.

The paladin knowingly seduced a married man/woman.

The paladin used a prophylactic, expressly forbidden by his god.

The paladin sang praises to her god in a high, clear soprano.

The Paladin's voice shattered a glass goblet that is a very important holy relic.

The Paladin became a loose cannon cop who doesn't play by the rules.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Paladin's recklessness in going after the Delgado Crime Syndicate gets his partner killed.

He was just one week from retirement!

The paladin ate a baby.

Turns out he was allergic to caviar and hurled it up in the most immediate direction, on the shoes of the local lord and the lord's wife, not apologizing nor cleaning it up himself.

The paladin had baked cookies for a fundraiser.

The paladin drank all the fundraiser's milk beforehand.

The paladin swallowed a spider to catch a fly.

Dark Archive

The spider was a celestial agent of the church, trying to catch the fly whom if the Paladin used Detect Evil, would know that it was a demon from Hell. Fallen due to his/ her error.

The Paladin learned to play a lute for the local band, with much appraise from the community, donating any earnings to the poor.

Scarab Sages

The paladin got his talent with the lute by making a deal with Asmodeus.

The paladin married his celestial mount.

He got a non-denominational Justice of the Peace to preside over the marriage, meaning the marriage was not approved by his deity.

The Paladin stood in the middle of a busy marketplace, and killed anybody who he detected as Evil.

He didn't get a permit.

The paladin rushed into a burning building risking life and limb to save a family.

It was an orphanage. After not finding families, he left.

The paladin trained his children in all the proper methods of fighting evil.

Shadow Lodge

It was the family of goblins that set the building ablaze in the first place.
The paladin helped and old lady, and a chicken across the street.

The paladin fell because he was struck by a double deja-vu of it and abandoned that task half-way, thus ending in a tragic accident for the lady & chicken.

The paladin was assigned as part time tax collector.

The Paladin fell because donating the collected taxes to the orphans and windows fund is technically stealing.

The paladin ate some cheese

Eating it at a meeting of the lactose intolerant society was cruel.

The paladin went to alcoholics anonymous for help.

Going to an AA meeting to find people to help you set up your brewing business is just wrong.

The Paladin took a potato chip... AND ATE IT!!!

Paladin fell, it was last potato chip of little kid.

Paladin rescued goblin babies many.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

The paladin fell, and crushed an ant as he was rescuing the goblin babies. Then he fell.

The paladin hosted a glorious feast with everyone's allergies and food sensitivies accounted for, excellent decor and furniture, and no evil in sight.

He let an invisible villain kill a fly on the wall, so fell.

The paladin was alone on a boat in the middle of the ocean.

She fell because she left her toys at home and so was unable to perform her daily obedience to her deity, Arshea, all alone.

The paladin convinced a unicorn to serve as a mount.

Via brainwashing and torture.

The Paladin wrote the #1 bestselling novel in the world.

It was called "50 shades of GT"

The paladin was illiterate.

Leaving his allies to fall victim to the exploding ruins.

The paladin helped set up trade between Menzoberranzan and Waterdeep.

But he fell because the trade was managed by a criminal organization.

The paladin picked up the hobby of knitting.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The paladin "picked up" The Hobby of Knitting from a struggling bookstore without paying for it.

The paladin returned a stolen necklace.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

The paladin "returned" a "stolen" necklace of strangulation to Queen Galfrey.

The Paladin took a Vow of Chastity and a Vow of Poverty.

Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.

...which were some really dumb things for a paladin dedicated to the great fertility god Hefner to do.

The paladin chose for his mount to take the form of a talking purple dinosaur.

Enslaving an awakened animal is not cool, bro.

The Paladin won the Global Kung Fu Tournament with one punch.

Scarab Sages

The paladin egregiously violated Queensbury rules in the process.

The paladin travelled forward in time to the year 3010, he defeated the Evil Robot King and saved us all again!

He also went into the alps and fought grizzly bears with his magical fire breath. There are almost no bears in the Swis Alps, and this maniac is out there killing them!

The paladin started talking in the third person.

It was the starting sign of a developing schizophrenia, the other personality was fitting of hellknight mentality....and so the paladin fell.

The paladin preferred diplomacy over destruction.

Diplomacy was the name of the Paladin's Igniting Wounding longsword, and Destruction the name of his Merciful longsword (the weapons were named ironically).

The Paladin waged a bloody war against Heaven.

Scarab Sages

Heaven being in the sky, the paladin fell when he tried to charge Heaven's gates by getting a running jump off the top of the roof of a temple...he couldn't fly, so he fell. He was not a very smart paladin.

Using his very own all-natural do-it-yourself bodybuilding regimen, the paladin turned himself from a 98-pound weakling into a musclebound marvel!

The "bodybuilding regimen" involved drow flesh grafts.

The paladin wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was.

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