The Paladin fell because...

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No One took offense and successfully filed a lawsuit against the paladin for copyright issues. Thus the paladin fell.

The paladin wields the banhammer.

The Paladin stared into the Abyss that was internet comments, and then the Abyss stared back. It was all downhill from there.

The Paladin lied to protect innocents from a horrible fate.

The lies damned a bigger group of innocents.

The paladin tried to catch them all.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

And realized only years later he'd fallen long ago, and been a slaver for decades.

The paladin ate his veggies without making a fuss.

Scarab Sages

The paladin butchered and devoured members of his own church.

The paladin ate at St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast.

The syrup contained sodium benzoate.

...that's bad.

The paladin trained her loyal retainer to fight.

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

The paladin fell because the retainer was an imp.

The paladin married her childhood sweetheart.

Scarab Sages

The paladin fell for committing nothing less than statutory rape, as, being an Elf, said sweetheart was still a child when this happened.

The paladin killed his mother, mummified her, then ran around murdering hotel guests while dressed as her.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

The paladin fell for forgetting to use his mother's blood for a sacrifice before mummifying her.

The paladin stopped at hammertime.

The paladin fell because it was a maul.

The paladin can't touch this.

Scarab Sages

But he did anyway.

The paladin walked a million miles for one of his mammy's smiles.

*keeps an eye out for a British army colonel stomping in to stop this thread, because it started as a nice little idea about Paladins falling for petty reasons, but now it's just got silly*

His god wasn't quite sure what a "mammy" was, but decided he'd better take away his powers, just in case.

The female paladin entered a bikini contest, and donated the prize money she earned to charity.

One of the judges was a Succubus. Didn't even disguise herself or anything.

The Paladin wore sunglasses indoors at night.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

The paladin fell because he couldn't see a darned thing.

The paladin yodeled from a reasonably sized hill.

Reasonably-sized hill is not giant mountain. If you're going to yodel, you follow the rules!

The paladin killed an evil tyrant by using poison.

Challenging the evil tyrant to a drinking contest, causing them to die of alcohol poisoning while subtly using Lay on Hands to remove the poisoned condition on himself was cunning, but still involved considerable duplicity.

The paladin seduced the evil overlord, lured him to the bedchambers, and then crushed him with her legs while smothering him with a pillow.

The overlord was allergic to the down in the pillow, making his death needlessly cruel.

The paladin knocked out an innkeeper who was mistreating his maids and scullions.

The help took over the inn and the class war quickly spread.

The paladin conducted a ritual to bring back Aroden.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

The paladin fell because one of the components needed was a kicked puppy.

The paladin called for the doctor, the nurse and the lady with an alligator purse.

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

The paladin fell because the lady was a giant and the purse was still alive.

The paladin got on his high horse.

And he didn't ask the horse for permission.

The paladin hugged a stranger.

The Paladin was wearing spiked armor at the time.

The Paladin challenged an evil champion to a 1-on-1 duel.

Dark Archive

but fell when she joined the champion's cause after the words "Lemoncherry, I am your mother!"

The paladin realized she walked out of the tavern without paying for her night of drunken debauchery

But fell because she did not remove her plate boots when entering the inn, thereby dirtying the floor there.

The paladin started an orphanage for hungry war children.

Said hungry war children were all vampires.

The Paladin sacrificed his dearest friend to a demon god for power.

When sacrificing dear friends, you're supposed to stab above the heart and draw down in one smooth motion, not stab multiple times like you're tenderizing meat! Know your sacrificial norms!

The paladin baked cookies for children.

The children eventually died from malnutrition because the paladin kept feeding them nothing but cookies.

After gaining a huge lead in the big race, the Paladin stopped to cheat.

After drawing his dagger, and murdering all the other runners, there was no way he could lose!

The paladin urinated in the holy water basin before entering the church.

He forgot to wash his hands afterwards.

The paladin posed for an artistic nude portrait.

Scarab Sages

It turned out the paladin's equally stunning-looking commander was doing same thing that day, and he showed blatant disrespect for her when he visibly failed to "stand at attention."

The paladin inducted Bleached Otuygh into his holy order.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Soon, the holy order was filling the hole in Bleached Otuygh's stomach.

The paladin posted to a political thread.

The Paladin posted [political statement I vehemently disagree with] instead of [political statement of which I approve], that a-hole!

The Paladin named his mount Sir Cuddlesworth IV.

Scarab Sages

"Sir Cuddlesworth IV" was already the copyright-protected name of the Excelsior Toilet Paper Company's adorable mascot.

The paladin found a massive treasure hoard, and gave every coin of it away to the peasantry.

Thus setting off massive inflation as common goods skyrocketed to absurd prices, collapsing the economy and causing untold hardship as riots broke out.

The paladin killed a kobold baby.

Kobold Baby was the name of a punk band that just wanted to show the world its music.

The Paladin blinked.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

The Paladin blinked to, just for a moment, blind himself to the horrors he had wrought upon the innocents of Sandpoint.

The Paladin invited Tar-Baphon and Old Mage Jatembe over for Tea and Crumpets.

Everyone knows you can't have tea and crumpets without the spam.

The paladin ordered take out.

The paladin's deity misheard that the paladin ordered a take out.

The paladin took levels in monk.

Taking levels in another class meant he was neglecting his duties as a Paladin and intentionally limited his capacity to fight Evil.

The Paladin took a ride in his airship.

If paladins were meant to fly, their deity would have given them wings!

The paladin detected evil at the presidential debate.

While indeed detecting evil from the opposition, the act was rude enough to go viral and the opinions of the paladin dropped significantly. The paladin was no longer considered an upstanding member of society.

The paladin is working on a cure for vampirism.

Which was ultimately the demise of Vampire the Masquerade in the late 90's giving all the cute goth girls (and guys!) nothing to do for decades- a horrible evil indeed!

The Paladin invented New Coke.

I don't really need to add anything. That's grounds for falling all by itself.

The Paladin starred in several commercials for a product made by a controversial company.

He didn't have his SAG card, and Lawful gods hate scabs.

The Paladin stood vigil over her dead friend all night.

Stalking a vampire is a big no.

The paladin tortured a peasant for kicking a cat.

The paladin fell by tripping over the cat.
The paladin kicked a cat.

The paladin fell for animal abuse.

The paladin did not participate in the war against spammers.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Paladin worshipped the god of "che@p phenterm1ne, r1talin, v a l i u m, and zoIoft online, without needing a do.ct.or.s perscripti0n".

The Paladin brooded on top of a roof.

Scarab Sages

The paladin associated with Evil by failing to Smite the shoggoth who was hanging out up there with him.

The Paladin brought peace to the Middle East.

And fell because vast numbers of the populace in the now liberated and peaceful countries in the Middle East quickly got hooked on "Keeping up with the Kardashians".

The Paladin partied like it was 1999.

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