The Paladin fell because...

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lucky7 wrote:
The Paladin skooshed a puppy.

The Paladin squished a puppy. Making up words is a path to anarchy.

The Paladin intentionally founded an apocalyptic cult.

He didn't fill out his T-44-OS form "Religious Tax Exemption" form properly.

The paladin farted loudly during church services.

Scarab Sages

Rather than beg forgiveness, he doubled down and said it was not him, but rather "Iomedae farting through him."

The Paladin got into drawing furvert porn.

The Paladin used paper while drawing (whatever it is). Paper means that innocent life forms (trees) have to be cut down, and thus, the Paladin supported the deaths of innocents.

The Paladin went into that biggest party of the year and threw live grenades at everyone while swearing all because he was not invited

The Paladin did have an invitation. He should have checked his mail more thoroughly.

The Paladin took up her fallen father's sword to continue his crusade against evil.

Her father wasn't dead yet. Indeed, she probably could have saved him if she wasn't so gosh-darned eager to get to smitin'.

The paladin captured an escaped slave and returned him to his master, who chopped off one of the slave's feet as punishment.

Scarab Sages

If you think THAT'S Evil, you should have seen what the Paladin had already done with the slave's other foot!

The Paladin invented the firearm.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

¨inventing the firearm¨ is a euphemism for cutting off the limbs of innocent fire elementals.

The Paladin shot the sheriff.

But he did not shoot the deputy.

The paladin was rude to the waiter when he went to eat at a fancy restaurant.

His deity did not allow people to eat at fancy restaurants, and so the Paladin fell.

The Paladin voted for Donald Trump in the election because he loved and supported racism.

Scarab Sages

The Paladin fell for participating in an election when his deity was strictly in favor of hereditary monarchy.

The Paladin kidnapped Santa Claus and took his place one year.

Santa Claus was the Paladin's patron deity.

The Paladin led a riot after the local sports team lost a game.

Grabbing the other team is understandable, burning them in effigy is slightly less so, and weighing them against ducks before actually burning them was cruel.

The paladin went left on the first turn.

The paladin fell because stepping through that door caused a cataclysm upon Golarion.

The paladin is smiting all people who don't start with 'the paladin fell', in this game anymore.

The paladin fell because he smote people who ended their comment with "the paladin fell", thus smiting innocents.

The paladin purchased some masking tape.

The paladin fell because duct tape is a much better choice for securing yourself to the underside of a dragon.

The paladin followed the peasants instructions.

Scarab Sages

The Paladin fell for taking orders from someone of lower social station than he, thus Upsetting The Order of Things.

The Paladin kicked ass and chewed bubblegum.

The Paladin fell because he was all out of bubblegum. Don't say you're going to do a thing if you don't have the resources to do it. That's lying!

The Paladin was the producer for a Michael Bay movie.

The Paladin fell because they convinced Micheal Bay not to put in any explosions thus resulting in false advertising: everyone goes to Micheal Bay movies only for the explosions.

The Paladin went back in time and became the original Leroy Jenkins.


But not the Leroy Jenkins from WOW.

The Paladin fell because the craving for cookies was too strong.

The Paladin fell because "Cookies" is a one eyed half-orcish prostitute of dubious morals and decidedly fluid gender identity. Iomedae doesn't go in for those Shenanigans.

The Paladin messed up the format of an online forum game.

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

The Paladin fell because Chris Lambert found out about it.

The Paladin loved life a little too much.

Eeew, that's not what the term means! The paladin's god revoked his powers until he could get the icky feeling off.

The paladin made a pact with Asmodeus to use called devils as a brutal police force in his dictatorship.

Silver Crusade

The Paladin took the pink copy of the contract; he should have taken the blue copy!

The Paladin killed his father and married his mother.

His father was secretly Asmodeus, while his mother was not really his mothre. However, while killing Asmodeus, the Paladin stepped on an innocent ant, and thus the Paladin fell for killing an innocent being.

The Paladin notified the ants next of kin.

Silver Crusade

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For reasons beyond understanding, the ant's next of kin was Asmodeus. Whom the Paladin had to resurrect in order to notify.

The Paladin enjoyed some good, clean, fun.

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Getting high on Draino and Windex is not very becoming of a paladin.

The Paladin won a rap battle against the Antipaladin.

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The paladin fell because he went the 'yo momma' way, thereby deliberately insulting an innocent woman.

The paladin had invented a new way to get rid of goblins.

The paladin fell because the new way was a Ponzi scheme.

The Paladin retired to a life of quiet solitude.

Freedom of speech is the right of every goodly being, and the paladin had no right to enforce his censorship on others!

The paladin misspelled a word.

The paladin fell as the word was "Orcus" as he was writing a sworn pledge to serve the demon lord.

The Paladin screamed "You made me do this!" as he choked the life out of the Astral Deva

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Excuse me, Mister Paladin, when we're inside we use our inside voices.

The paladin fell because he did so in front of the Astral Devas children, thus destoying their innocence.

The paladin cooked up a fresh batch of good ole timey BBQ sauce.

Unfortunately, he stole the ingredients.

The paladin decided to find out how many evils he could smite.

How many evils must a paladin smite to get to the chewy evil center? The world may never know.

The paladin acted in a Shakespeare production.

The Paladin, who was playing Macduff, got a little too into character and ended up actually killing and then decapitating the actor who played Macbeth. Though it will be said that he did get a standing ovation at the end.

The Paladin hosted a satirical television show.

...called This Hour has 22 Minutes Copyright!!!

The Paladin quit his job to start a crime spree

The Paladin did not give 2 weeks notice as is proper.

The Paladin defaced a magnificent work of art.

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He spilled some paint on the floor of the art gallery.

The paladin marched into the warp, burned down Nurgle's Garden, b*%%%-slapped Slannesh and rebuffed his/her advances, navigated Tzeentch's labyrinth, and beat Khorne in an arm-wrestling match.

Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.

The Paladin fell for being in the WARHAMMER 40K universe, in which Good-aligned characters are beyond even the unfathomable powers of the Chaos Gods to create.

The Paladin didn't often drink beer, but when he did, he preferred a Dos Equis.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

The paladin fell because his charisma was too low to be the most interesting man in the world.

The paladin revealed his daring undergarments.

The paladin fell because it was made of the finest of silk, for which the endangered Golarion silkworm was worked to death.

The paladin showed her new corset plate.

And of corset caused her to fall.

The paladin drank a potion of feather fall.

...that was a horrible pun.

Silver Crusade

Falling at 60ft. a round doesn't allow you to cast Atonement in the meantime.

The Paladin made a bad pun.

The paladin fell when someone 1-hit KO'ed him for it with a sucker punch.

The paladin has picked up a parttime job as lifeguard on the beach.

The paladin fell when he smote a shark innocently snacking on some swimming toddlers.

The paladin framed a co-worker for murder.

The paladin fell because he got away with it, instead of facing punishment.

The paladin went crackers.

The paladin fell as his deity specifically told him to go Bonkers.

The paladin attempted to put the USB drive in his computer, failed, flipped it upside down and attempted again, failed again, flipped it upside down a second time, and inserted it successfully.

The Holy Ritual of the USD Insertion requires 3 full flips of the drive. These things are important!

The Paladin became the dictator of a small third world country.

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