The Paladin fell because...

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And did not do what a responsible paladin should, namely fight to destroy the dreaded Y2K bug.

The paladin recited a beautiful love poem before an audience.

The paladin fell because, though unknown to her, it was a summoning incantation in lovely worded code, for a murderous outsider.

The paladin keeps a pet t-rex.

The paladin should have been trying to fix the temporal accident that put him back in time, not playing with the dinosaurs.

The paladin build a time machine.

Going back in time to warn his younger self to not join the Paladin Order caused a temporal paradox, destroying reality as we know it. The Gods didn't really like that, so he fell.

The Paladin turned around, put on sunglasses, and walked slowly away as a building exploded behind her.

The paladin fell because impersonating a mix of David Caruso and oldskool power rangers, is a no-no.

The paladin is currently advertising for Skittles.

Thanks to new divine legislation, corn syrup sugar replacement is now considered a poison.

The paladin advertises for Chuck Hoagie's House o' Ribs 'n Steak.

The Paladin fell because Chuck's Hoagie's House o' Ribs 'n Steak special is faerie jerky.

The Paladin joins a book club.

The book club's book this month is The Necronomicon.

The Paladin beseeched a powerful Solar to help her vanquish a great evil.

Ever hear of "please?"

The paladin farted in church.

The fart created a hurricane via the butterfly effect, which destroyed a metropolis.

The paladin burped during a duel with a yugoloth.

Scarab Sages

The yugoloth was irrelevant, but the paladin was a sworn devotee of the Church of Yurtle, in which burping is the ultimate heresy.

The paladin grew a Rollie Fingers-style mustache.

He fell because on Golarion that mustache indicates evil mastermind, either being or soon-to-be.

The paladin participated, as a rider, in horse races.

Scarab Sages

The paladin's mount filed with the Heavenly Courts for a divorce on the grounds of the paladin being unfaithful to him by riding other horses, and was awarded full custody of the paladin's holy powers as part of the settlement.

The paladin boldly fought his way to the final level of the Dungeon of Doom and successfully retrieved the Amulet of Yendor.

The Amulet of Yendor was the property of Evil McEvilstein and by taking the amulet the paladin was in fact comitting theft.

The Paladin sat down with his friends for a thrilling game of "offices and district managers"

Scarab Sages

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"'Offices and District Managers?!?!'" The high priest of the paladin's church shrieked at him when he found out. "That 'game' is a sinister plot by AZATHOTH*1 to induct new members into His unholy church! I have been praying and fasting for you all week*2! You must BURN those books! BURN THEM ALL!!!*3"

*1 = "For to know the ENEMY is to know that His/Hers/Its noodly APPENDAGES art everywhere" - Catchytisms 14:91

*2 = As prescribed in the Book of Wallabies 9:52: "For to make thineself suffer isth inherently HOLY, and will totally to a world of good for people thou knowst vaguely"

*3 = The scriptures specifically say that you must burn ALL books of "officecraft" - even The Chronicles of Ohio and The Dull Life of a City Stockbroker, despite supposedly being "Abadaran officecraft." You must BURN THEM ALL!!!

The paladin kissed a toad that was actually a polymorphed prince, thereby breaking the spell.

The paladin fell, because kissing animals in public is considered a moral offense.

The paladin gave a lecture on righteous morals and values at the local highschool.

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

The paladin fell because the school was in the middle of Hell's Kitchen.

The paladin shut down a gambling house.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

'Burning it to the ground and pissing on the ashes' does not lawfully constitute 'shutting it down.'

The paladin held a class for children where he taught moral lessons with stories and fun, interactive games.

One of those games was Offices and District Managers.

By out-lawyering Asmodeus himself, the Paladin installed himself as the Archdevil of the Ninth layer of Hell.

And when he won hell, and became Archdevil of the Pit he said, "Booya! Suck it, Asmodeus!", and fell for committing a willfully chaotic act.

The Paladin played co-ed, naked, Twister.

Grand Lodge

The paladin fell because he put his foot on green when he needed a red.

The paladin sacrificed himself before he could be possessed by dark forces of chaos.

Said Dark Forces of Chaos immediately possessed the body of the innocent child he was protecting instead, then ended the world because the Paladin wasn't around to protect it. Double whammy!

The Paladin enjoyed a quiet night where she played board games with her friends.

Getting the collected income tax pool when landing on free parking is not a Monopoly rule! Such a flagrant violation of established law!

The paladin was able to overcome the rage of his lycanthropy without causing harm to innocents and became a protector of the night.

He spread the curse through unprotected sex.

The paladin expressed his disgust at the other party members, by taking time off from adventuring, and doing charity work.

The paladin fell, because by doing so, without him as a moral anchor, the party slided into murder hobo-extreme style and slaughtered a village, of all age and physical state.

The paladin picked up a €5,- note.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

The paladin fell because (being the pack mule for his party) picking up the note set him over his encumbrance.

The paladin toiled righteously as a potter.

The Paladin then started toiling smarter, not harder, the slacker.

The Paladin had a room in his home where he liked to show souvenirs and memorabilia from his various successful adventures.

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... And would bore you for hours and hours and hours as he jabbered on and on and on and on about his adventures to the point even his god got pissed off.

The paladin dined with lepers, criminals, and prostitutes.

Scarab Sages

By treating society's outcasts and undesirables as equals, the paladin committed a profoundly Chaotic act.

The paladin joined the World Street Fighter Tournament.

Though an iroran paladin should not evade challenges in pursuit of self perfection, he did this for the money.

The paladin sang in an opera.

Scarab Sages

Namely, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

The paladin bought a mithril waffle iron, complete with his deity's holy symbol etched into it.

Pancakes are holy. Waffles are just plain evil.

The paladin carried his horse around.

Silver Crusade

The Paladin was messing with the order! You don't go messing with the order!

The Paladin returned an alligator to the wild.

In retrospect, it was kind of cruel to release a creature that lives in water into a barren desert.

The Paladin attended a wine tasting event held by his church to raise funds for charity.

He misidentified a Chardonair '45 as a Chardonair '46, and dared to say that East Virtrean wine is of fuller body and character than West Virtrean wine! Such a galling lack of class and distinction.

The paladin battled an evil overlord on the eve of the overlord's apothesis, able to kill the overlord before he became a new god of evil.

The paladin fell because one nip, after a lot of pushing to 'taste my stock', became two nips, then went downhill from there.

The paladin starred in a beauty contest.

By killing the God of Evil to be, the Paladin unwittingly took her place.

The terrible aspects of her new being melted the faces of the judges.

The Paladin tried a new recipe

"Demonic muffins". Enough said.

The paladin traveled through the woods alone and unarmed.

The Paladin was supposed to be on watch and his companions were killed in their sleep

The Paladin drank a potion of fly

That bottle was clearly labeled, STEVE.

The Paladin learned the esoteric art of Gun-Fu.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

The Paladin's new Gun-fu was so sick and nasty and awesome that no Good deity wanted him anymore.

The paladin, having saved the world a few times, ensured its continued safety, and beat all the BBEG's, retired to a farm house with its loving family.

And to think, all it took was one mass extinction event!

The Paladin tried to learn stand-up comedy lessons from the Bard.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Racist jokes are never funny.

The paladin fought a dragon in a spaceship that crash-landed on the moon.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Dropping acid while adventuring? Not cool, dude!

The paladin got involved in a flame war on a message board.

Yes, I believe I won when I went to each of their houses with my sorcerer friend. They called me a scrublord, I had to defend my honor.

The Paladin ate a sandwich.

The paladin probably should have checked the label on the ingredients of his sandwich. If he had, he would have known that the mayonnaise was made from hell eggs, laid by chicken of the damned.

The paladin mercilessly crushed an opponent who had surrendered to him under the heel of his steel boot.

He monolouged beforehand. Come on, monolouging? That's just two-bit villain stuff. Have some forethought!

The paladin used his noble connections to help represent a poor peasant in court against a corrupt merchant.

The paladin fell because the peasant stole some candy as a child, and thus the paladin aided an evildoer.

The paladin entered in a dance-off.

The Paladin fell because during the celebratory game of Dungeons and Dragons, which was always held after the dance-off, he lied to the DM and said that he was proficient with chain mail!

The Paladin donated 150 gold pieces to the DM's long lost brother, who was forced to live on the street

Sadly, a monetary system in a game isn't any help to a real person.

The paladin cannonballed into a lake.

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