The Paladin fell because...


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Which allowed a group of teen aged kids to think they were heros and go out to fight the local wildlife angering the nearby druids.

The paladin's favorite food is cheetos.


The paladin fell because he discovered that his Cheetos taste even better dipped in the blood of innocents. Its not easy bein' cheesy...

The paladin polishes and buffs his platemail until it shines like mirrors.


The wife found his stash under the bed.

The paladin travels coach rather than first class.

Scarab Sages

The Paladin falls for feeding and validating the long-since-FUBAR airline industry.

The Paladin brought peace to Afghanistan with the power of ice cream.


The Paladin fell for making a nation obese.

The Paladin gave his last rations to the famished orphans.


Without food, the paladin was weakened and thus died during his next battle. So the Paladin contributed to the death of a powerful force of good in the world.

The paladin set up an elaborate trap to catch the ghost, then pulled the ghost's mask off, proving it was the janitor, Mr. Gunderson.


The Paladin did so while not wearing an ascot.

The Paladin rolled his eyes after the Bard made a horrible pun.


The paladin fell because the bard did not appreciate the paladin's attitude and didn't cast a well timed cure light wounds.

The paladin bought a new horse.

Dark Archive

The paladin fell becuase horse was a known trampler of small fuzzy animals and encouraged him to do the same

The paladin encouraged his friend to follow his heart

Grand Lodge

His friend's heart had been stolen by a succubus - only metaphorically, until the friend took the paladin's advice.

The paladin found conclusive evidence of global warming...


... but didn't share it after being bought off by the Brimstone Lobby.

The Paladin decided to run for public office.


The paladin fell because there is no such thing as an honest politician.

The paladin decided to write in Mickey Mouse as the next president.


The Paladin didn't write in his God as he should have.

The Paladin performed an 8-hour-long drum solo.


He missed the beat several times throughout the solo.

The paladin won the lottery without buying a ticket.

Dark Archive

He fell because of all the orphans he beat up for that 'free' lottery ticket

The paladin completed the atonement ritual before his God


The paladin fell, because he was too focused on the ritual, that he forgot the promise he made, to entertain the children at the orphanage.

The paladin decided to not wear her hair in a bun.


The paladin fell because she forgot to use the hair bands approved by her deity.

The paladin decided to dedicate her time to a nunnery.


The paladin fell because it was a very sexy nunnery.

The Paladin gave a scrap of food to a stray dog.


The paladin fell because the stray dog was actually a hell hound.

The paladin adopted a cute kitten from the animal shelter.

The Exchange

The paladin fell due to failure to maintain the Kitten-Mouse balance dictated by his god

The paladin went off to live alone in the forest


The paladin fell because the druids caused a change of heart.

The paladin moved to a large city.

Scarab Sages

Ever see Midnight Cowboy? I actually haven't, but we all kinda know how it goes.

President Obama nominated the Paladin to the Supreme Court.


The paladin fell because Congress bribed him to change his beliefs to match theirs.

The paladin went to China to help the poor.

Dark Archive

The paladin fell for aiding socialism

The paladin nursed the wounded puppy back to health


The Paladin fell because the same puppy went on to be run over by him/herself (The paladin came back from the future to run over the puppy, because he/she felt like doing it)

The Paladin went on the Goofus and Gallant thread and wrote:

Haha! This is my thread now! Anyone who posted on this thread is now a member of my slave army! And since there are 499-a number infused with divine magic-posts, I have enough manpower to take over these forums!

Scarab Sages

By forcing Goofus and Gallant to join forces to fight this greater - Goovil? - the Paladin created an Abomination That Should Not Be.

The Paladin guided the Candy Kids safely along the Gumdrop Trail, rescued King Candy, and defeated the wicked Lord Licorice.


The paladin fell because the Candy Kids are actually promoting not eating a healthy diet and Lord Licorice is actually his father.

The paladin lost at monopoly.

Silver Crusade

The paladin fell for promoting corporate greed.

The paladin ran a human trafficking ring


After being arrested for human trafficking and failing to make a delivery, the Paladin fell for failing to honor a contract.

The Paladin wrote a rock and roll song.


The Paladin fell for shamelessly taking the spotlight from the party Bard. What's the point of spending 10 ranks on Perform if the Paladin is going to unleash the power of Rock and Roll?

The Paladin destroyed an ancient evil artifact.


The paladin fell because it was actually a statue of his $diety from early days.

The paladin asked the bard to play Free Bird.

Scarab Sages

zorander6 wrote:

The paladin fell because the Candy Kids are actually promoting not eating a healthy diet and Lord Licorice is actually his father.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! That's...that's IMPOSSIBLE...!

The Paladin fell for promoting Freedom - AKA Chaos with better lighting - instead of Law and Order.

The Paladin caught the Salmon of Knowledge, cooked it, and dutifully served it to his master, despite the temptation to eat it himself after burning his thumb and putting it to his lip briefly gave him the power to understand the speech of birds.


The paladin fell because he used this knowledge to learn all the swears in bird language.

The Paladin did the hokey pokey, and turned himself about.


The paladin fell once he discovered that THAT'S what its all about.

The paladin charged into conflict with a horde of evil outsiders, swinging his Holy Avenger with deft skill.


The Paladin had to go back in time to kill the evil outsiders. However, he killed the person who would eventually be his grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-gra nd-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand- grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-gra nd-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand- grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-gra nd-grand-grand-grand-grand-father.

The Paladin made other people get stuck in the elevator using his divine magic


The music eventually drove them all into a berserk frenzy, and once the killing spree was over the Paladin fell over dead.

The Paladin redeemed the Antipaladin.


The paladin fell for aiding the forces of evil.

The paladin sacrificed herself to save the townspeople from the certain doom.


The paladin fell because the cat, which is a sacred animal to his deity died and came back.

The paladin bought a Chevy Nova.

Scarab Sages

The Paladin fell for failing to ask himself, "What Would Iomedae Drive?"

The Paladin busted a kiddie porn ring.


The paladin fell for looking up porn while at work.

The paladin watched This Old House during dinner.


The paladin fell because the kids wanted to watch The Lion King

The paladin took levels in a psionic class


The Paladin took psionic detect thoughts and fell for invading the privacy of other people's thoughts.

The paladin responded to the Bat Signal before Batman could.


The paladin fell because he was actually Bruce Wayne's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

The paladin took the kryptonite away from Lex Luthor before he could trap superman with it again.


The paladin fell for theft of Lex Luthor's legal private property.

The paladin hunted down and arrested Batman for vigilantism.


Batman was 1000000000000000000 feet in the direction that the Paladin bowed down to when he prayed, so when he arrested him, he fell for arresting his deity.

The Paladin hijacked a thread.


Going off-topic is a mortal sin the the Paladin's religion.

The Paladin and the Vigilante teamed up to take down an international smuggling ring.


To bad it was a vigilante worshipping Asmodeus.

The Paladin traveled back in time.

Silver Crusade

Paladins didn't exist in Chainmail, so...no Smiting for her.

The Paladin built a bridge.


The paladin fell because he did not file for a building permit and a little old lady crossed the bridge and was electrocuted.

The paladin went to lunch with his superior officers.

Scarab Sages

The Paladin complained about his Gazpacho soup being cold.

The Paladin died for our sins.

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