Did they also play ultimate Frisbee in a blood thirsty manner Cal?
Stiff arm some hippies perhaps?
;)
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Did they also play ultimate Frisbee in a blood thirsty manner Cal?
Stiff arm some hippies perhaps?
;)
LOL. I saw them playing the game in the afternoon. They might have done those things after dark, when I was too afraid of them to leave the dorm.
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Not so much a one-liner as a hilarious way to turn a curse into something useful.
We played "The Overflow Archives" last night.
Not long after, we met a monster whose voice captivated half the party. My turn came up, and the GM asked me what I do.
Me: "Nar-Lok starts to talk nonstop, and the book starts screaming. Does that interfere with the monster's song?"
After a moment of surprise, the GM gave the captivated PCs another save, and 2 of the 3 made it. He also announced that spellcasters in the area are effectively deafened. Nar-Lok kept it up for the rest of the fight.
That 20% failure chance made the monster lose three of the four spells she tried to cast, while our wizard only lost one.
Well played Tim, well played...
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This just happened Saturday.
Background: One of the people at my table has a goblin named Gip that becomes a PC every once in a while. Even when not active, he still shows up sometimes.
I recently saw a picture of goblin destroying a book, so I turned it into wanted poster with Gip as the goblin of interest. 220 gp reward
Since we are playing CotCT, I had the reward to be handed out at Citadel Volshyenek.
At the bottom, there was a hand written note, "1000 gp if brought alive to The Acadamae".
I showed it around before we started for the night.
As a complete coincidence, our GM starts the evening's session out: "You are being sent the The Acadamae to investigate some missing children..."
My mouth hangs open speechless, as I point to the wanted poster.
One of the others at the table said, "GIP, WHAT DID YOU DO???"
The whole table erupted. Play resumed 5 minutes later.
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We were playing an Eldritch style game in 5e a couple of weeks ago. It was a group I was familiar with but hadn't been able to play with due to RL scheduling. Things have cleared up recently for now so I decided I was going to try my hand at it again and they all missed me as well so it worked out to a nice combo.
GM offered to homebrew in a quick Ratfolk but I told him I'd just go with whatever is present out of the list he was allowing. So the deal then became that he gave me a temp NPC turned PC, an Arcanist to finish off this little arc until the main story kicked up again and I could introduce my character proper(An Air Genasi Bard. College of Valor...probably should have gone swords but bleh).
I decided I was going to go down the erratic snarky type character stick given the details about this particular character and their part in the overall story. First few sessions go ok, I'm being snappy with the paladin and arguing some here and there IC about how I'm more trustworthy than the paladin because I've been nothing but right and they've made repeated wrong decisions(RNJesus in effect).
However we get to the point where we think the arc is likely to end with the attempted recover of a baby inside this weird mansion located in a demi plane. When the Paladin goes to pick up the baby, there isn't anything actually under the cover just the sheets. This does not stop the local nurse spirit from going absolutely ballistic and attacking the party...specifically the Paladin to start with. Combat starts we all take our attacks and what not and then the Wraith goes and attempts to touch the Paladin with a necrotic spell, failing horribly.
While the wraith nurse is screaming in fury and rage, a moment of inspiration struck as I proceeded to yell out:
"That's two things you can't take of lady! Your babies and your enemies!", to which combat suffered a multi minute pause and I was grated inspiration for post session.
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Played a PFS scenario today that involved the agents going to the First World. At the end of the scenario the PCs all wound up with minor souvenirs of their little jaunt to fey-land.
A Dark Archives PC took it on himself to collect them all and catalogue these items. He placed them in a bag and wrote on it...
"First World Problems."
It took several minutes for us to resume play.
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The mesmerist's player, after casting mental block: "His mind has just been ransom-wared. Now, for the low, low price of cooperating with the Pathfinders, you can cast spells again!"
---
From the "big dumb fighter" PC, at different points in a single scenario:
"I'll use my folio reroll for that save. Now watch me roll a 1." (He did.)
"I got a -2, so I assume that fails."
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And from this Tuesday's scenario: We're been dodging the Aspis all adventure, and finally get ambushed by one of them and her hired thugs as we leave town. We take the Aspis leader down in one round, before she even finishes casting her first spell, with my white haired witch's *grab/squinch* being the final blow.
Thugs (throwing up empty hands): "We got no beef with you! She just paid us!"
Me: "Enjoy spending your money on ale and whores."
(Thugs scram; GM gives me a high-five.)
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This might post before if some people run their games via an online platform. In the case of our group we are using roll20, and this happened last Saturday.
The party is storming a heavily guarded fortress. For atmosphere, our GM playing background music (likely drawn from Dragon Age) via the platform and we enjoyed. The infiltration part goes without any trouble; the party sneaks into the heart of the fortress, and then identified the commander`s room and burst in. We use a Silent spell to cover our operation, so no guards but the commander is alarmed. Due to the Silent he can do nothing but fighting the party alone and desperately.
At this point, a door behind us opened. A lightly armored girl with a lute is looking the intruders on the other side with surprise on her face, then she screams. Fortunately, she is literally on the sword point of our magus and died unremembered seconds after. Unfortunately, because that scream at least a half of the guards now realized that they are under attack and swarm to our location to get their boss.
As the fight gets intensified, nobody really noticed that the BGM was turn off quietly. After a while, the magus pc realized and asked where is the background music.
GM: “You killed it.”
PC: “What?”
GM: “The bard playing music, you just killed her. No music for you now.”
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"Maybe if you didn't set off all the traps—"
"—Hey! I'd like the record to reflect that I did not set off ALL the traps. I set off the one trap nine times."
Welcome back."Maybe if you didn't set off all the traps—"
"—Hey! I'd like the record to reflect that I did not set off ALL the traps. I set off the one trap nine times."
Thanks!
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Hey! No matter how often that trap went off we're glad to see your creepy, glassy eyed face on the forums again!
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Hey! No matter how often that trap went off we're glad to see your creepy, glassy eyed face on the forums again!
Oi! I may be creepy and I may be glassy-eyed but...
...dammit! I was hoping I'd get a follow-on to that before I got to the end of the sentence.
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From last night's PFS scenario:
The party arrives at the Blakros Museum just as Nigel is dispatching some minor monster. The GM, who's 5-star but has been juggling a LOT of moving parts all session, is a little distracted as he reads something about Nigel preparing more offensive spells lately.
Me, jokingly: "If it wasn't for you bloody Pathfinders, I wouldn't have to prepare so many damn combat spells!"
The GM beams, points at me with both hands, and crows, "Yes! That is *exactly* what he says!"
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"We're not brigands. We're wealth reallocation engineers."
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:clap:
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"So the Baron goes out boar-hunting alone? That's dangerous. He could get killed by a boar. And of course, everyone knows that boar-tusks are exactly the same size and shape as a rapier, like this one I happen to have at my side..."
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"Dude, there's a moral slippery slope and then there's what you've got... a luge run."
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I just choked on my Poptart.
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I just choked on my Poptart.
I disavow all responsibility for any Poptart related fatalities...
The quip in question was from yesterday's session, where my character met a priest of Asmodeus and was ready to fake-pledge his allegiance to the Dark Lord about .0002 seconds after finding out how much money that could make him... Hail Asmodeus... until someone more profitable makes me a better offer...
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It's all about the gold Benjamins.
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I just choked on my Poptart.I disavow all responsibility for any Poptart related fatalities...
The quip in question was from yesterday's session, where my character met a priest of Asmodeus and was ready to fake-pledge his allegiance to the Dark Lord about .0002 seconds after finding out how much money that could make him... Hail Asmodeus... until someone more profitable makes me a better offer...
I think Asmodeus would completely approve of a pledge made with that intent.
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I think Asmodeus would completely approve of a pledge made with that intent.I just choked on my Poptart.I disavow all responsibility for any Poptart related fatalities...
The quip in question was from yesterday's session, where my character met a priest of Asmodeus and was ready to fake-pledge his allegiance to the Dark Lord about .0002 seconds after finding out how much money that could make him... Hail Asmodeus... until someone more profitable makes me a better offer...
Yes... yes... *dry washes hands*
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Players confront a massive black dragon, "Welcome to my lair... you have all been a thorn in my side for far too ****" Player interrupts, "BLah, blah, blah. I attack him!"
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"Tell your cheetah to stop pooping in my boots!"
"It's not the cheetah."
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*choke, wheeze*
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This reminds me of a long ago 2e game. One guy was playing a Jester (a bard kit, a precursor to archetypes for those who might not know). They did not have a Ranger or Druid in the party but were trying to track a villain through a forest. At one point, exasperated, the Jester's player begged me for some kind of hint they were on the trail. I finally said you see some poop just off the path. The Jester stuck his finger in, popped it into his mouth and said, "Ah ha! It's him and he's a 7th level evil Fighter!" We of course laughed heartily.
The weird thing is he was exactly right later on.
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"I use Bluff for all Knowledge checks."
"Is that a feat?"
"No. It's called... lying."
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Saturday night's game: The party discovered a floating city full of peaceful, no threatening, and helpful citizens. They use no money and whatever crafts or work they do is from duty to their lord and savior.
Then they were invited to visit a worship service. To their surprise and dismay, it' Dispater, The Archdevil. They're nervous as all get out but decide to stay and see what happens during the "worship service".
During this service a Halfling was brought forth and it's obvious he's going to be sacrificed. The party, who is usually pretty heroic, are afraid to try to save him in a huge chamber full of Clerics and Priests, as well as other classes. The Halfling is screaming for help and then the party's Priest (a 3PP class from Kobold Press), who said he couldn't stand the awful screaming actually CAST SILENCE ON THE HALFLING!!! The party still doesn't do anything to stop the horrible event and then another Cleric (not contained within the silence spell) bellows "Bring forth the strangers!" That finally got the action started.
But wow...
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Have to admit that this was mostly lucky happenstance, acting and a fair bit of buildup, but it's one of my fondest memories.
While the game is still going on, this event happened roughly six months ago as my party was proceeding down river in the Out of the Abyss campaign for Dungeons and Dragons 5E. For this particular game, I decided to play a somewhat mischievous and lecherous Bard character whose given name to the party was Fus Ro the Dragonborn. Aside from the fact that the characters real name to this day is a mystery, I was also a obvious ladies man, with every flaw and desire involving seduction and wooing. However I was unavailable for the game session due to prior commitments.
About two hours into the game, I returned home earlier then expected. I started to tuck into bed when I got a text over group chat from the players; they were laughing as at that very moment they were meeting with some witches. Each one was more gorgeous then the last, and currently my character was missing out on this event, in canon asleep with the rest of the characters bringing his sleeping body along with. So what did I do?
I didn't text back, or reply in any manner. Instead, with the DM's place roughly a block away, I got my stuff and started sprinting down the street. I didn't stop to slow down as I sprinted up the driveway. I ran up the steps to the entrance, opened the door wide and yelling out to the entire table of players as the door was flung open;
"I show them my Rod of Enlarge Spell!"
The table collapsed. Everyone began heaving in laughter. And I will never forget the joy of demonstrating how far Fus Ro would go to meet hot women.
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“Don’t scry and drive!”
(After a player asked whether the wizard PC could start casting a scrying spell while also steering a phantom chariot at high speed.)
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(From a friend of mine who was playing a halfling wizard wielding a magic rod; he and the group were staring down a group of town guards trying to look tough.)
"...with an intimidating glare, I stand up on the bed and proceed to polish my rod."
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"And what do we say to the god of death?"
"Women and children first?"
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I shouldn't laugh so hard at that.
sometimes it IS how we says things....
LOL ROTFLMAO...............
to be fair, metamagic rods are joke gold.....
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sometimes it IS how we says things....
LOL ROTFLMAO...............
to be fair, metamagic rods are joke gold.....
Yeah, our running joke is someone with the Rod of Lordly Might or Might Not, depending on situation.
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::snicker::
All about the mood...
In Shadow of the Demon Lord I looked up the stereotypes for how a dwarf regarded the other members or the party and announced "According to this I hate you all."
With a little further checking despising them was an option for some but I decided to be an unusual dwarf.
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In Shadow of the Demon Lord I looked up the stereotypes for how a dwarf regarded the other members or the party and announced "According to this I hate you all."
With a little further checking despising them was an option for some but I decided to be an unusual dwarf.
"According to This I Hate You All" would be a great title for a memoir by an amnesiac misanthrope with a bunch of Memento-esque notes to themselves.
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"Dwarfy" Harry Callahan. He hates everyone equally.
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"Dwarfy" Harry Callahan. He hates everyone equally.
"I know what you're thinking. Did I throw five hand axes or did I throw six? Tell you the truth, in all the excitement, I lost count. Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?"
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"Dwarfy" Harry Callahan. He hates everyone equally."I know what you're thinking. Did I throw five hand axes or did I throw six? Tell you the truth, in all the excitement, I lost count. Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?"
(BBEG) "Don't you try to get me!"
("Dwarfy") "Not me, no. You're the one who wants to get yourself killed. Not me. That always happens with you villains. At the last minute you want to take somebody with you, but down you go. Not me, brother."
(BBEG) "Aren't you gonna try to frag me?"
("Dwarfy") "A friend of mine was down about 20 dungeon levels against a villain a few years ago. The villain grabbed him, his contingent earthquake went off, 20 floors down. Just mashed 'em all to bits. Couldn't tell which legs were which, couldn't tell which arms were which, it was a terrible mess. I'll tell ya, almost threw up myself. I'd like your CR and experience is all."
(BBEG) "Why?"
("Dwarfy") "Like I said, it's such a mess afterwards. And it makes resurrection impossible, even if we find your diamonds in all of the blood and everything."
(BBEG) "I think ... I think I'm gonna puke!"
("Dwarfy") "Now don't do that, son. I mean, all your minions around here, looking to you for inspiration. Your high priest, what if you puke on his face?"
(BBEG) "YOU ROTTEN BASTARD!" *foolishly attacks Dwarfy only to get his butt thoroughly kicked*
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Whilst playing Starfinder, the group I was GMing for came across a mysterious recording in a language none of them knew.
P1: Wait, wait, wait. This is the future, right? What about Google Translate?
GM: Well I guess, but-
P2 (interrupting): You mean Space Google Translate. We're in space.
P3: Spoogle Translate, if you will
*table laughs*
P1: So GM, how about it?
GM: Using Spoogle Translate, you-
P2: Spoogle Spanslate.
*table looses it, game suspended for a few minutes to recover*
*debeverages*
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"As a rogue, I get a bonus to underbus combat maneuver checks against trusting NPCs."
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"I've got a plan and it rhymes with 'Burn this place to the ground.'"
*gets look from entire table*
"What? Wanton arson is ok, but not being good at rhyme is unacceptable? You guys are the worst."