The other funny thing that happened that session isn't really a one-liner, it's more of a sight gag. But I managed to find a pawn that looked very close to the one I had been using for my character up till that point--except this guy had a goatee and was wearing black and red. Since we play at my place and the pawns are mine, I usually get them out before hand and put everyone's at their place at the table. I had the new "evil twin" version out, but didn't even acknowledge it... until one of the other guys said "hey, wait, who's that guy on the map?"
"Why that's your old boon comrade in arms, Yurig," I said. And left it at that...
I love the BoVD. I used a spell and weapon quality from it a few games back. My players, who haven't even examined most of the spells available to them, didn't notice its origin. Except for this one guy, who loves when I pull something on the group that's not expected. He always puts on this maniacal grin and mutters "Sweeeet" under his breath.
I'm having a lot of fun with it. It was in a super-duper locked chest in the module we're running through. I had to buff myself as much as possible and take 20 to open the lock, that's how tough it was. And, since I figured whatever was in there probably would be trapped, I made sure to open it alone. I wasn't expecting... well... what I found.
It took my perfectly neutral roguish aasimar and turned him into a cleric of Barbatos with just a month of study. Last session was the first time I've used any of its abilities--we really needed the summoned bone devil. However, now there's a 2% chance a powerful devil will show up to claim my soul the next time I use it. That 1% more of a chance every time is going to eventually get tense... but sometimes you just have to make a dark bargain, yada yada, Padme and so forth...
Today I debut my post-reading-the-book-of-the-damned character. Very excited. I keep humming "I Know Things Now" from Into the Woods...
Heh, heh, heh...
It went over perfectly. For the first part of the session, I did all my usual roguish stuff (I had been a telekineticist/rogue). Then the barbarian got trapped in a weird endless hallway prison that only teleportation magic could escape from. I dimensionally hopped in (per the Travel domain ability). Weird, everyone thought. But my guy does weird stuff all the time... could just be a different kinetic ability...
On we went. Nobody noticed I wasn't doing UMD checks on the cure wand any more... and then we came across a bebilith. I produced my unholy symbol of Barbatos, cast dismissal, (the first time I'd cast a spell) he failed the save, and that was that.
There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone put it together.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!"
"I... learned things in the past month. Shall we continue?"
Yes... yes... *dry washes hands*
The Mad Comrade wrote:
Go back with about 50 pounds of lead ingots and a caster with fabricate that has an Int bonus of at least zero. Set lead ingots about the blade. fabricate crafts on take 10 a simple block of lead encasing the intelligent sword. If it can't move on its own accord, it gets no saving throw as the result is harmless. Now that it is safely ensconced in at least an inch think membrane of lead, go on an ocean cruise and huck that damned thing overboard when you're over the deepest part of the seas. Problem solved for, oh, a few centuries at least. ;)
Just like we did to old Grandma...
You could play them as an appeaser. A worshiper of a deity doesn't necessarily have to love/agree with/be happy about that deity. They could simply be a neutral person who feels that these very powerful beings are better left placated than opposed. Lots of "real" gods in human mythology are pretty awful, but people who weren't themselves awful still worshiped them and did whatever was necessary to keep them happy.
And don't listen to those voices who say that's the smooth, gentle, broad road to Hell. They're just trying to distract you from keeping the evil deities at peace with your worship...
Only if that is what the original contract stipulated.