Last one to post wins


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The loser aisle.


Well you'd best take off your spurs and set a spell, because you'll be sittin' in the loser aisle with the other desperados who're trying to take my win.

Sovereign Court

Her off the edge of the map, mate! Here there be monsters!

Sovereign Court

Yer*


* hits Avatar lightly on the head with cane *

There will be no more of this pirate talk, young man. Now sit and have some cookies and milk.

Kids these days.

Monsters, bah, there's no monster scarier than old age.


Ain't that the truth.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

Ah back again to take my win back. Thanks for playing everyone else.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Heh, the pirate was fooled by the counterfeit win.

Now watch as I ride off into the sunset, the Win safely at my side.


Are you really rising off into the sunset, or are you wearing a latex pony outfit, complete with saddle, bit, and bridle, being ridden by me into the sunset, a freshly branded cutie mark on your flank?

I keep the Win in my "saddlebag".


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Ew...that disgusting even to goblin standardz.


Have an apple. It will cure what ails you.

Sovereign Court

Cures are for those who can't stand pain!


Goblins love pain, infliction of it that is.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

* begins violently vomiting *

That...

That...

That is beyond disturbing on so many planes. I think even Zon-Kuthon himself is ill at that.

I know not what GoatToucher is on that he would hallucinate such a thing about me - nor do I care to know - and I dare not ask what he thought was the "Win". I suggest, for all our sakes, that GoatToucher be sealed away far from, well everything.


That's not what you were saying last night.

:smoochy face:

It was mostly screams and vomiting until you passed out.

It's okay if you don't remember anything. A lot of people block it out, but you'll see it again in your dreams. Oh, yes...


*hands Uncle Teddy a flier* Support group meets on Tuesdays.


Are you a man or a mouse?


I know GoatToucher is lying. Uncle Teddy was helping me last night - driving me to and from the store and carrying my groceries so I can make more treats for everyone.

Then again, who knows what sort of dolls GoatToucher has created of all of us. Now, let's see if I can keep him trapped this time.

* waves cane and opens a portal to the Realm of Nothingness, which sucks in GoatToucher then waves cane again to close and seal the portal *

Now that's taken care of who would like some cupcakes? You will notice that each is topped with a candy model of the Win. Or maybe some fresh-squeezed lemonade?


Looks like you've come down with a case of mange Cluny.


:portal opens. GT is violently ejected:

:stands, dusts self off:

Hmm... Seems like that things I did to... occupy myself made Nothingness uncomfortable. :scoff: Prude.

I assure you, GW, I never lie unless it would amuse me or otherwise serve my purposes. Here's a video of last night's goings on with Uncle Teddy, live and in person.

:plugs flash drive into nearby smart-TV. The ensuing video causes your gorge to rise, and, despite yourself, it causes other things to rise as well:


* I stand up and point my cane at the television screen and point out the cheap special effects *

Foolish GoatToucher, next time you try to fake something don't resort to crude cartoon drawings.

* waves cane and opens a bottomless pit below GoatToucher's feet, a smile crossing my face as he begins a rapid descent that will never end for him *

Shame that pit doesn't allow any sort of flight or teleportation.

As I was saying, would anyone care of a cupcake or glass of lemonade?


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Private Tiny wrote:
Looks like you've come down with a case of mange Cluny.

Got into a fight with a blasted cat.

Sovereign Court

@Cluny: Was it excruciatingly, wonderfully, painful?

@GW: Why yes, I'd love a cupcake and a glass of lemonade please!


Here you go, Avatar. Notice the hand-carved model of the Win made of the finest dark chocolate topping the cupcake. I must say I am most impressed with Teddy's work. Now everyone can have a taste of the Win - well everyone I give a cupcake to.

Sovereign Court

*Looks at what's left of the cupcake.*

Oh yeah! Very clever and delicious too! :-)


We've added a "Spring Surprise" to each of GW's cupcakes!

Let's see if anyone notices...


I could link to what that is, but it's rather graphical and it'd upset all who are eating the cupcakes.

Mind you, this is GoatToucher we're talking about.


Nope, can't be good.


PRIVATE TINY WAS STANDING BEHIND ME AND I BROKE WIND AND NOW I CAN'T FIND HIM!!!

Sovereign Court

Right, just for that, you are going to take his place until he returns!

*Lashes MBT and turns him into the troll equivalent of Dominick the Unquenchable.*


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Maybe someone should explain to GoatToucher that any attempts to modify Grandpa's cupcakes ends in failure for those attempting it, usually with what they were attempting happening to them?

From the looks of sheer ecstasy on his face what's happening to GT would have been very bad for the rest of us.


Squeak! *nods in agreement*


Hello there, John. Would you like one of my official "The Win" cupcakes and lemonade?

* pours some lemonade into a bowl and places it and a cupcake on a plate on the floor by John *

Sovereign Court

Don't mind me everyone, just still teaching MBT the valuable lesson of what happens when you make a high priest of my faith unexpectedly disappear.


While we are all not minding you, I'll take the win.

Here MBT! Recharge on this month old egg sandwich I found on the bus.


YUM!!!

Sovereign Court

No food for you until PT returns!

*Lashes MBT a thousand times and starves him for a year.*


* hands Avatar a glass of lemonade and one of "the Win" cupcakes *

Ooh, that's brutal.

Say, have you thought about putting lemon juice in the wounds? I have some left over from making the lemonade.

* takes a bite from my own "the Win" cupcake *


NOOO!!! I'M STARTING TO LIKE THESE BEATINGS!!! YOUR'RE BRAINWSHING ME LIKE YOU DID POOR PRIVATE TINY!!! *runs away screaming, smacks right into a tree and gets knocked out*


*Examines the troll with one of his tentacle sensors.*

He'll live. Just knocked himself sensless.


Gramps Surprise bra wrote:
Say, have you thought about putting lemon juice in the wounds? I have some left over from making the lemonade.

Salt first, then the lemon juice.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
The Fiend Fantastic wrote:
Salt first, then the lemon juice.

Tequila shooters? Wait, that's lime.

Doc, I think he was already senseless - maybe this will knock some sense into him.


I was just standing around minding my own business when a foul wind came and blew me three counties over.


You mean you ran away in fear, don't you?


When you hear a rumble like that brewin from MBT's backside you run.


*puts MBT's hand in a bowl of warm water*


NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

Scarab Sages

*puts message board troll's other hand in a bucket of army ants*


*Tricks MBT's head into a tub of acid.*

Sovereign Court

Firstly, good to have you back, PT! :-)

Secondly, I welcome all suggestions about torture.

Thirdly, why ARE we all picking on MBT? Not that I'm judging, as I am a god of pain and suffering after all, just asking.

Lastly, please may someone get this dark naga to bite MBT's groin.

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