Keyra Palin

Captain Spalding's page

339 posts. Alias of Charles Scholz.


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Only officers.


Banned because it has been 3 months since the last ban and the Ban Hammer was feeling neglected.


Killer Klown from Outer Space


Jimmy Durante and Karl Malden volunteering at the soup kitchen.

Who are you?
Where did you come from?
Why did I do this?


Definitely the latter.


Pulg is banned for hiding in plain sight.


Head Machinist Sparkflux is banned for not locking his door.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Is he to make sure your goldfish stays in his bowl?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Dr Wily is banned for... you know, I can't remember the reason I wanted to ban him.
Banned for some reason I'll remember 5 minutes after it is too late to edit this post.


Alright you scurvy dogs.
I want this ship put in order or you will be hung from the highest spar facing the sun until I decide to release you or the birds peck your blind eyes out, whichever comes first.


Its the smurfiest.


I think GoatToucher is just trying to discover what powers that wonderful beard of yours.


That is because Sirius Sa'luk sprays everything with silver paint.


George Carlin is banned for wearing that stupid hat.


We are out of Egg-Nog (hic).


Profession Sailor: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (11) + 12 = 23

Stormy seas ahead.


You no good lying piece of !$$T$##@$#^U$#%#%/!
The Irish are the most gentile of people!


Sirius Sa'luk is banned for swimming in bleach.


My sweaty First Mate's tan.

The next poster was lost at sea.


Is that the same oil you use to keep your hair shiny and full?


Sorry, Humanoids only.


Grand Magus dies her roots.


The count is a party animal.


A Saliva Colonizer is banned for drooling.


Banned for posting anonymously.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Laser Clown's pet.


...the giggles.


*Throws him into the wood chipper for good measure.*

He did ask for that after all.


The Paladin fell because the Antipaladin was the better cheat.

The Paladin went to the King's Castle.


Squirrelshades wrote:

Still a bust. A failure like the rest of us.

By the way when you roll the suit you should go by order of value. I went alternating colors 1: diamonds, 2: clubs, 3: hearts, 4: spades. Alternatively its 1 clubs, 2 diamonds, 3 hearts and 4 spades

I always goes hearts, spades, diamonds and clubs because that is the way it was set up in early computer card games.


Rennaivx wrote:

1d13; 1d4

1d13; 1d4

6 of diamonds and 8 of hearts for 14...hit me!

1d13; 1d4

12 of diamonds for 26...about as busted as it gets. ;)

That would be Queen of Diamonds (10) for 24.


1d13 ⇒ 1 1d4 ⇒ 1 Ace of Hearts
1d13 ⇒ 5 1d4 ⇒ 3 Five of Diamonds
6 or 16
Hit me.

1d13 ⇒ 8 1d4 ⇒ 2 Eight of Spades
14
Hit me.

1d13 ⇒ 10 1d4 ⇒ 3 10 of Diamonds.
24
Busted!


Molten Dragon was rated 4F.


Shouldn't that be ankles?


There's not much damage 20 zombies who are only 2" tall can do.


Pulg is a spokesperson for the Hair for men club.


FIRE!


...Dogs and Suds.


The Paladin fell because it was a lightning storm and he was wearing fullplate.

The Paladin went for a walk.


...Mort Walker


...Betty Davis Eyes


...Solar powered night lights.


Str: 4d6 - 1 ⇒ (4, 2, 5, 1) - 1 = 11
Dex: 4d6 - 1 ⇒ (5, 4, 4, 1) - 1 = 13
Con: 4d6 - 2 ⇒ (6, 4, 3, 2) - 2 = 13
Int: 4d6 - 1 ⇒ (1, 4, 2, 3) - 1 = 9
Wis: 4d6 - 2 ⇒ (3, 6, 2, 4) - 2 = 13
Cha: 4d6 - 1 ⇒ (3, 1, 6, 5) - 1 = 14


Why not, indeed.


Seeing is believing.


I'm sure I am.


Thank you.

I am winning.


Avatar of Zon-Kuthon wrote:
Really? So do I! Mind you, if I'm going to burn someone alive in something to torture them horridly, I prefer the brazen bull.

Read that book a month ago. It was great.

Is it okay to say that I am winning?


Only fair, since it was stolen in the first place.


That was a proper story, the pirate was a villain and loses to the hero.

Full Name

Helien

Race

Female angel-blooded aasimar (angelkin) ranger (trapper) 1 || CG Medium outsider (native) || Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +5 ||

Classes/Levels

AC 16/18 with shield, touch 12, flat-footed 14 (+4 armor, +2 Dex) hp 13 (1d10+3) Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +1 Resist acid 5, cold 5, electricity 5

Gender

Current Status:
HP: 13/13 || AC: 18 = 10 + 4[Armor] +2 [Dex] +2 [Shield] || Effects: Bless, Favored Enemy

About Helien

Helien
Female angel-blooded aasimar (angelkin) ranger (trapper) 1 (Pathfinder Player Companion: Blood of Angels 21, Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 7, Pathfinder RPG Ultimate Magic 65)
CG Medium outsider (native)
Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +5
--------------------
Defense
--------------------
AC 16, touch 12, flat-footed 14 (+4 armor, +2 Dex)
hp 13 (1d10+3)
Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +1
Resist acid 5, cold 5, electricity 5
--------------------
Offense
--------------------
Speed 30 ft.
Melee longsword +3 (1d8+5/19-20)
Ranged sling +3 (1d4+3)
Special Attacks favored enemy (humans +2)
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 1st; concentration +0)
. . 1/day—alter self
--------------------
Statistics
--------------------
Str 17, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 12, Cha 9
Base Atk +1; CMB +3; CMD 16
Feats Power Attack
Traits armor expert, shield-trained
Skills Climb +6, Disable Device +6, Heal +7, Intimidate +3, Knowledge (nature) +6, Perception +5, Stealth +5, Survival +5; Racial Modifiers +2 Heal
Languages Celestial, Common, Draconic, Sylvan
SQ track +1, trapfinding +1, wild empathy +0
Other Gear lamellar (leather) armor[UC], heavy steel shield, longsword, sling, sling bullets (20), backpack, hemp rope (50 ft.), thieves' tools, trail rations (10), waterskin, 20 gp, 8 sp
--------------------
Special Abilities
--------------------
Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white only).
Energy Resistance, Acid (5) You have the specified Energy Resistance against Acid attacks.
Energy Resistance, Cold (5) You have the specified Energy Resistance against Cold attacks.
Energy Resistance, Electricity (5) You have the specified Energy Resistance against Electricity attacks.
Favored Enemy (Humans +2) (Ex) +2 to rolls vs. Favored Enemy (Humans) foes.
Power Attack -1/+2 You can subtract from your attack roll to add to your damage.
Track +1 Add the listed bonus to survival checks made to track.
Trapfinding +1 Gain a bonus to find or disable traps, including magical ones.
Wild Empathy +0 (Ex) Improve the attitude of an animal, as if using Diplomacy.

Background Notes:

Helien's earlier memories are from running away - in the arms of her father she felt secure, and his words were enough to soothe any panics away even as they fled through the forest. It would be years until she understood why it was they had ran away that night, and why the memories of a fire and the smell of smoke assaulted her senses so many times.

Life in the wild was not bad, in fact it was perfect for Helien - Nature is not hard to comprehend, it is basic in nature, even if complex in its predatory/prey relations, and her father was the perfect teacher. Far from being any sort of adventurer, he was well familiar with the outdoor life, and made a point of teaching her everything he knew - from basic gardening to big game hunting.

She took it all in as best as she could - Helien had been to young when her mother was tragically killed in a fire, their house burnt down by a backwater posse, their paltry morals intent on setting things straight, shocked by the fact that her father had decided to live with a woman no one in the village knew, and that she had borne him a child - she had been to young to fully take in the loss, so she simply looked up to her father, wanting to make him proud.

As years went by, she could not be sated by roaming the same paths over and over again - she began venturing further and further away, even against his will. The nearby settlements piked her curiosity, and the young ranger explored ever closer to them as possible, watching how they lived and related to each other. She knew the region, the tracks and the threats to the small communities, and many arguments arose between father and daughter as she wanted to warn the villages about the growing kobold settlement almost at their doorstep, while her parent was adamant against it.

It didn't matter - she simply disobeyed and began acting on her own, keeping the kobolds under control, watching their movement - after witnessing their behaviour for a couple of months she knew they were getting ready to invade the small village - she pleaded to her father to let her warn them. Stern and bitter, he did not care, locking her in the basement to prevent her from getting involved - "Let them all die - it is not worth it, we can only depend on ourselves Helien. The others do not matter"

Eventually, after two days she managed to undo the lock - as she dashed to the nearby village she could already see the pillars of smoke in the distance. Her legs carried her fast, but not enough, and for the first time Helien witnessed what kobolds were capable of. She has never forgotten the sight of the broken bodies, and destroyed homes.

She returned to her own home, her anger almost preventing her from speaking to her father - "I am leaving. I don't think I will return" - were the last words she has ever spoken to him. "We have no one else Helien. Only ourselves" - his words echoed again, but he did not move to try and stop her.

She went directly to the nearest largest town - managed to inform the authorities of what had happened. Her passionate speech convinced them into action, and Helien joined on her first kobold lair 'cleaning'. It was far from what she had expected it to be, and her stomach turned more than once, but anger moved her so she followed through until the end, and left.

Since then she has been a frontier woman, living mostly off the land or occasional caravan duty - more than once she has turned to assist in clearing other humanoid lairs in the Cassomir region, when gold becomes specially short. She is not an expert, but has some experience in such matters. Curiously enough, she finds she likes that line of work less and less.

Notes:

On the couple:

Talia shakes her head. "No, I did check the rooms. All of their own stuff was gone. But they didn't steal anything, not what you'd normally expect in these circumstances. You might ask to see L. Komenos next time you're up at the Manor. The Baroness is putting her up now, being a fellow aristocrat and all. I got the impression that M. Dukas-Kort was cosying up to her, though she seemed less than keen on the idea. If I'd have bet on there being a couple, more likely those two than Dukas-Kort and Esmeralda. But, well, if they're professional spies and all, that's what they'd want you to think."