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*looks at the crater and splintered remains* I'm thinking this regeneration may take awhile.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

It might take even longer - several vans with "Mythbusters" on the side just showed up, followed by a few more with "FBI". That explosion was only the precursor. The real fireworks are about to begin. Now let's hurry up to my safe house.


More fireworks woohoo! I'm in come on Bill grab your new friend John and lets go watch the show.


Squeak! *John climbs on Private Tiny's leg, and up to his shoulder*


And with Bill and John on his shoulders Private Tiny marched off into the sunset with the win.

The End


No.


Eh? What's all this then? All this commotion. Is The win safe?

* checks hidden pocket *

Yep.


Beat it gramps, your sofa and slippers are waiting for you.

Let the winning to the devils.


Devils? Bah, you don't scare me. I was old before Hell even existed. You're nothing but a bunch of whipper-snappers to me.

* hits TFF with cane *

And keep your hands off the thermostat!

Scarab Sages

*fools with the lights at the other end of the room*


*Isn't even scratched by the cane*

Aw, poor old fool, keep trying to convince yourself you're older than hell. Just shows how soon you'll be 6ft under and being whipped down there.

Scarab Sages

Hey, does anyone have any soap? I have some soap. I have a lot of soap. I need more soap. I like soap. Soap is good, isn't it?


Did you break into the liposuction clinic for that? You know, for base materials?


What do you want soap for? Brain Bleach might be more appropriate considering some of the things that have happened recently.

Scarab Sages

@The Fiend Fantastic: I get mine from the Pseudoelemental Plane of Soap.

@Goddity: NO! SOAP! MORE SOAP!

Sovereign Court

Snap out of it, clown!

*Hits IHIYC to try and bring SOME sanity back to his mind, then hits him for the hell of it!*

Scarab Sages

SOAP STORM!

soap damage: 24d6 ⇒ (4, 1, 3, 6, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 1, 6, 3, 2, 4, 6, 6, 3, 1, 6, 3, 5, 1, 3) = 86


Isn't it cute, TFF claimed he wasn't hurt, yet he limped away back home.

Never mess with us old folk.

I've been to Hell and back. Why do you think it's so hot? I made them turn up the heat. Not because I was cold, but because I wanted to roast marshmallows.

* hits IHIYC with cane *

And that's for playing with the light switch! Maybe that'll knock some sense into you.

Goddity, Avatar, would either of you care of an ice cream sundae?

Scarab Sages

*places the Curse of Comedic Tripping on Grandpa Wonderbra's cane*

Sovereign Court

Oh yes please, GW, I'd love an ice cream sundae!


Here you are, Avatar.

* After handing Avatar the sundae the Curse kicks in and I trip, sending sundaes everywhere. IHIYC is hit by a wave of hot fudge. I stand up, dust myself off, notice my cane has been cursed, and hit IHIYC with the cane, transferring the curse to the evil clown *

Great, now look at this mess. At least I've got more ice crease and sundae toppings in the kitchen.


It is such a shame, to see that old gramps declare delusions of what he'd do to his greaters.

Now move over, your diapers need changing.


*Comes in and starts eating the cold milk off the floor.*

Yum.

*Spots the win that fell out of grampa's hidden pocket when the cursed cane made him trip.
Takes it and leaves before anyone notices.*


Delusional, eh - so says the fiend so thinks he's so fantastic. Bah, I've had kidney stones more terrifying than him.

Now where did I put that win? What the...? Ooh, that darn cat!

* catches up to Kat's Eye, distracts the feline with catnip, and takes the win back *

Bad kitty!


*Scratches grampa's hand with sharp claws. Takes both win and catnip.*


Bad kitty!

* grabs Kat's Eye by the scruff of the neck, takes the win back, tosses the naughty feline into a pet carrier, and hands the pet carrier to The Fiend Fantastic *

Peace offering sir. Perhaps you have a use for such a misbehaving feline. I hear hellcats are all the rage now.


When that cat accepts a contract, there'll be hell to pay with him, as he will be a hellcat in training.

By the way, did your kidneystones ever do "this"?

*Firebolt to Grams Bustholder's head, chest and groin*


hey! don't hurt Grandpa! he gave me smores!

Sovereign Court

I agree with BL, there are certain things that even the most despicable individual wouldn't do.


Hey, i'm devilishly evil, fantastically so.

And by your words, i'm not that dispicable person, since i just 'did do'.
The old man was asking for it, if he'd acknowledge the superiority of devils over humans he'd be fine.

Scarab Sages

Grandpa Wonderbra wrote:

Here you are, Avatar.

* After handing Avatar the sundae the Curse kicks in and I trip, sending sundaes everywhere. IHIYC is hit by a wave of hot fudge. I stand up, dust myself off, notice my cane has been cursed, and hit IHIYC with the cane, transferring the curse to the evil clown *

I am an insane jester, NOT an evil clown! Giving me my curse back wasn't very bright, either - it's the Curse of Comedic Tripping, after all, and anything Comedic only makes me more powerful.

*pratfalls on face, slamming into loose floorboard which Grandpa Wonderbra is on the other end of, catapulting him out the window*


Squeak! *hides in Private Tiny's shirt pocket*


Weee!!!

* goes flying through the air only to land safely on feet *

Thanks, TFF - I was feeling a bit of a chill. And who said I was human? I'm old, really old. But because you're being so mean to your elders no s'mores or sundaes or any treats for you.

* gives everyone else s'mores, sundaes, and fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies *


SQUEAK! *eats some of a cookie*

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

I have been away too long. I need my win back. Thanks for playing everyone else but you can all be at ease the AWESOME one has returned to claim his prize for good. You are all dismissed now.


So sorry. You lose again.


* shakes Gruumash's hand and kisses Captain Spalding's hand like a gentleman *

Welcome, friends. May I offer you a treat? Or perhaps something to drink?

* pets John the Rat and gives him more cookie and hands IHIYC a crate of magical whoopee cushions *

Sovereign Court

You are such a nice man, GW! :-)

Oh and Gruumash, welcome back to you and Captain Spalding. With you two on the scene again, I can finally say: Besmara be praised!

Scarab Sages

WHOOPEE!!!

*randomly distributes a few, waits for the fireworks*


GW:
I actually had to look up what a s'more is, i'm fine with what i can get, i don't hold bonfires where i live.

That said, i know for a fact you're human, you're flawed, since humans are flawed and try as much in life as they can. You're doing a decent attempt at that.

After all that, devils win again.


Sigh, foolish little devil, thinking that he won.

What makes you think I am human? Just because I look like one? Or is it that humans look like me?

Oh me, oh my, it's sad really. After all this bashing on humans where would devils be without them? Or demons? Or any fiend for that matter? Why some of my best friends are humans.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet, would you be so kind as to bring some humor into The Fiend Fantastic's life? He seems to have - what do you young people say - a stick up his rump.


Winning! :)


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Not anymore little Schism

Sovereign Court

He's right, you know! Now feel the agonising pain as victory slips away from you!

Scarab Sages

*gives The Fiend Fantastic a hair-and-facial makeover to look like Pinkie Pie while he sleeps*


* laughs and gives IHIYC the 2nd Place Trophy *

Bravo, mad jester, bravo!

Oh, Avatar, try not to be too mean to Uncle Teddy - he supplies the chocolate for my treats. He knows where to get the best stuff ever.


*takes the Win with little trouble*

*throws the Win into the Tarrasque's maw*

*swats the Tarrasque's butt with a giant Buttswatter +23 and sees the Tarrasque barge off into the distance*

Your move, gentlemen, ladies, cats, dwarves, devils, old-timers, avatars, mice, chimera kittens, ratmen, and whatever else!


Sigh...

Come here, boy!

* whistles and the Tarrasque comes running *

Good boy! Now drop The Win. Drop It!

* Grabs The Win and tugs on it. After a few minutes the Tarrasque lets go and I fall on my bottom on one of the magical whoopee cushions I gave to IHIYC that was placed on the floor. *

What the...?

* As the whoopee cushion goes off with a rather loud and obnoxious sound I am teleported, along with The Win, to Baba Yaga's hut. The magic of the whoopee cushion also creates three copies of The Win, which are left behind. *

Dangit, I've got no flowers with me. Oh well, I know she also likes chocolate and I just happen to have some with me.


*Comes out of Baba Yaga's hut.*

Don't forget, stay off your feet for the next two weeks. If you need to get around, use your enchanted thimble.

*Bumps into the old man as he is leaving. The win falls into his open doctor bag.*

Pardon me, my good sir.

*Walks off, not knowing he is now in possession of the win.*

Sovereign Court

GW, my comment was directed at Schism not Uncle Teddy.

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