* wanders on back after visit with Baba Yaga *
Oh, my mistake. When you've been around as long as I have you're bound to make a few mistakes. Here, let me give you this as a means of apology.
* reaches into pocket and pulls out The Win *
What the...?
* reaches into pocket and pulls out another The Win *
Dangit, I should have checked that crate of whoopee cushions I gave the jester.
* spends several minutes pulling out one The Win after another *
Well, looks like there's enough wins there for several of us. Ah, here is what I was looking for.
* hands Avatar a slip of paper with The Fiend Fantastic's True Name on it *
Someone needs to learn some respect for their elders I think. ;)
I agree with BL, there are certain things that even the most despicable individual wouldn't do.
You're adorable.
While you admire AZK, I will take the win.
* grabs chest at sight of GoatToucher *
What is that thing? In my long life I have not seen anything so horrible, so disturbing - and I've had the misfortune of accidentally seeing Cthulhu sans clothing.
* begins beating GoatToucher with cane *
It - it's enjoying it! Ahhhh!!!
* runs away, screaming *
Who or what is this Pinkie Pie?
*Browses google*
*rips out the clown's heart, stuffs it down his throat and rips his head off.*
Th nerves of people, really.
Wait, i won again, didn't I? :)
Nope!
Yep!
* peeks back in *
Is that horrible thing gone?
Oh Avatar, it's you. And who is your friend? Would they care for something to eat or drink. I apologize if we have met before - I have met so many people that sometimes I can't remember who I have met before.
* enters room pushing a cart full of various things to eat and drink and notices body of I'm Hiding In Your Closet *
Oh this just won't do.
* waves cane over corpse restoring the jester to life *
DOLLY!
Squeak! *pops out of a random vent*
* After being worn out due to all of excitement falls asleep in rocking chair, unaware that one of the whoopee cushions was placed on the rocker. The magic summons several gremlins. *
Zzzz....
DAT WUZ A BIG BOOM!!!! I THINKS PARTS OF ME ARE STILL REGENERATIN!!!!
Ahhhhh!!!! What is that noise? Oh no, it's you.
* begins beating on Message Board Troll with cane *
Can't...
You...
Be...
Quiet...
For...
Five...
Minutes...
Ugh, I'm too old and too tired for this.
* sits back in rocking chair, triggering the magic whoopee cushion again and summoning more gremlins *
SHHH! Be wery wery qwiet. I am hunting wins.
*munching away on smores that people left lying around*
i take over grandpa! takes a stick and beats Fred (aka. Message board troll) over the head
OW FRED!?! OW! OW! THAT GENERAL FEROCIOUS GEORGE TO YOU!!! OW! OW! OW!
I'll take over for you BL you can go back to eating your smores.
Triprat take potion too? He look beefed up as well.
Mutagen potions for little ones FTW!!!
I put a point in awesome when I leveled.
i was having fun though . . *glances at smores* oh . ok . . . *hands Triphoppenskip the stick and walks back to the smores*
OK up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B A start. FATALITY!!!
OW! NO FATALITY YOU JUST DID A SILLY DANCE AND HIT ME WITH THA STICK AGAIN!!!
SQUEAK! *finds a s'more and starts to nibble on it*
Yum! Nothing sweeter than a smore filled rat.
Hey I'm back from area 51! Anyone want to buy cheap government secrets?
Ooh, ooh, me, me! How much?
* looks around nervously *
That's what they want you to think.
Now, where did I put my money?
* notices one of the gremlins has grabbed my money pouch *
Hey you, give me that!
* runs off, chasing the gremlin *
Dang you Triphoppenskip that's - what do you kids call it - the Konami Code. You just gave him 30 extra lives. Oh well, at least I'm Hiding in Your Closet brought it down to 29.
* picks up John the Rat *
Bad kitty, you leave him alone.
Goddity, dear, when you were at Area 51 did you happen to see a little gray alien about three feet tall and a tattoo Teddy Roosevelt riding in a sleigh being pulled by two bears on its chest? The little bugger still owes me $50.
Run, Be Free.
* Grabs +5 Impact Adamantium Earthbreaker nicknamed "Banhammer Jr." and beats MBT to a bloody pulp. Scoops up bloody pulp in a bucket and drops bucket into mouth of active volcano *
28 left. Anyone else want to help?
Gramps, I'll only tell you about the alien when you pay me $60.
Ted, Show me the money.
IHIYC, EAT DEATH RAY™!!!!
* hands Goddity a sack containing 100 gold pieces *
I'm hoping for a whole lot of cheap secrets for that amount.
Oh, we're targeting the troll, not the jester - he's the one with 28 extra lives.
EXTRA LIVES PLUS REGENERATION!!!! I'M IMMORTAL!!!
Squeak! *bites MBT's big left toe*
*puts enough coins in MBT to take his extra lives back up to 30*
There ya go, buddy!
Bad Dragon!
* hits Molten Dragon with Cane of Dragon Smiting *
Now to deal with that durned troll. Now where did I put that? Ah here it is!
* pulls out really large photo album and forces MBT to look at the pictures while listening to long rambling meaningless stories, resulting in MBT taking his own life enough times to leave him with only one life *
* finally notices John the Rat chewing on MBT's toe *
John, spit that out! You don't know where that's been. Here, chew on this instead.
* gives John some cheese *
Wow, Grandpa. You do a lot for everyone.
Too bad you don't have time to take care of the win.
Just look how tarnished it has gotten.
I will take it off your hands and polish it up.
*RUB RUB RUB*
There, all nice and shiny again.
Thank you, dear.
* takes back win, wraps it in a protective silk cloth, pockets it, and gives Belphegor a big glass of milk and plate of freshly baked cookies for their work *
Oof, I am feeling a bit tired. These old bones of mine sure are aching.
* sits back down in rocking chair and falls asleep *
Zzzzz....
He did what!
Why that no good, little...
Just wait until I get my hands on him.
* wanders off shaking fist in the air and mumbling about never sharing the secrets of the cosmos with anyone ever again and Razmir still owes me for breaking my window when he was a kid playing ball with his friends *
Win..
Squeak! *munches on cheese while nestled inside the win*