Last one to post wins


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Go take a whack at the big ol donkey piñata hanging in the yard BL. Ignore any screams of pain you might hear coming from it they're just your imagination.


At last, you have come to your senses. No more fratenizing with the enemy.


EATIN CANDY AND SWINGIN FROM THIS TREE IS FUN AND ALL BUT WHY ARE THERE CHILDREN WITH STICKS AND BATS SURROUNDIN ME!?!

Scarab Sages

*appears out of tree foliage above Message board troll, drops beehive*


* gives BlackLighting a plate of s'mores and a baseball bat and points at the MBT piñata *

Eh, I think I'll take a whack at the piñata myself.

* hits the MBT piñata with cane *

That was fun.


OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! HEEHEEE THAT ONE TICKLED! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OHH LOOK A BEE, AND THERE'S ANOTHER, AND ANOTHER... AHHH CRAP !!!OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!

Sovereign Court

Hey, that DOES look like fun!

*Lashes at the piñata with a pair of Needlethorn cat o nine tails.*

Such jolly good fun!


And the prize for the piñata? The Win™. And by prize we mean that the first genius who realizes everyone has forgotten the point of this thread will just take it.

Guess it's mine.


Pardon me, young-un, but that's not The Win™ - that's a life-size model of that there piñata. The real one is in my pocket, right here...

...oh dear, I seem to have misplaced it. Getting so forgetful in my old age.

* wanders off, smiling, as The Win™ is still safely tucked away in my coat pocket *

Scarab Sages

And now for something completely different: I'm Hiding In Your pocket!

*grabs Win, bursts out of Grandpa Wonderbra's pocket like a jack-in-the-box, and runs off*


He's getting really old. The model was in his pocket. That doesn't explain why IHIYP is running off with it though.

Scarab Sages

Whatever it is, I trade it in for sushi!


I'll stick to fish fingers, the seaweed components in sushi aren't to my liking.


* chuckles at the clown who just grabbed one of the decoys *

Oh dear, I'm all out of s'mores. I do have hot-fudge sundaes if anyone would like one.


OW! OW! OW! I WANT ONE! OW! OW! OW! STUPID KIDS! OW! OW!


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

* takes some of the hot-fudge sundaes and gives one to each of the kids hitting the MBT piñata *

There, I've distracted them. Now grab a sundae and get out of here.

* hands MBT a sundae where the hot fudge has been replaced with laxatives *


MMMM... UH OH!!! I GOTTA GO!!! *still tied to the tree* AWWWW MAN THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET UGLY!!!


Goddity wrote:

the first genius who realizes everyone has forgotten the point of this thread.

Guess it's mine.

Wait, wait, wait a minute.... there's a point?


Run kids! That is not chocolate coming out of the piñata!


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

I knew I forgot something.

* grabs halberd and cuts MBT down, after several swings *

Now run, you fool!

Sorry about that folks - I guess I shouldn't have downed an entire bottle of Jack. At least I was able to cut MBT free.


I think he may be missing an arm now but it will grow back.


Oh and it will probably be a good idea to stay away from the outhouse for the next few hours. Better make it days just to be 100% safe.

Sovereign Court

Indeed, not even the gods of pestilence would go near that thing!


mmmh smores *munch munch* hey i didn't even get to hit him.

Scarab Sages

You can hit Private Tiny, since that's usually Message board troll's job.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

I'm going to need everyone who isn't Message Board Troll to clear the area. Please move at least ten miles from the outhouse. I've called in The Mythbusters - they're the only ones crazy enough to deal with the mess. They mentioned something about the explosion being so big it'll make the cement truck look like a bottle rocket.

I have set up a safe house with plenty of food and drinks for everyone.

Scarab Sages

It'd better have a Closet, or no dice.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Of course - there are several fine closets to choose from. there are even a few walk-in closets.

Scarab Sages

Neato! Can one of the walk-in Closets walk into one of the other Closets with me?


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

I'm not sure. Isn't that like putting a Bag of Holding into a Portable Hole?

Scarab Sages

Come on, what's the worst that could happen? You'll like the labyrinthine abysses of C-space!


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt - three of them in fact.

Oh, what the heck! I could always use another t-shirt. Or maybe I'll pick up a souvenir shot glass this time.

Go ahead, see if you can get one of the walk-in closets to walk into another closet with you.


Solving the world's problems, one post at a time.


Runs towards the outhouse with a bomb that has a lit fuse

THIS GOING TO BE FUN!


GOOD! Mogmurch burn down silly little outhouse, we go roast pig at bonfire after.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

But The Mythbusters...
And a really, really big explosion...

Someone stop that little goblin!


:sits upon Mogmurch, who wriggles, bites, and stabs in an effort to escape:

My rump's seen far worse than anything you can dish out, my little friend.

:settles into chair with crackling sounds as the goblin is simultaneously crushed and suffocated, his last breaths filled with the sweet smell of GoatToucher's Lilac and Hate scented rump-ointment:


CAN I MAYBE GET OUT OF THE OUTHOUSE FIRST!?!


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Um, thanks, GoatToucher, I think. I didn't really want the poor goblin dead, just stopped.

* sheds a lone tear for the dearly departed goblin *

Sorry, MBT, but you need to remain inside. One of the stipulations for The Mythbusters to do this was that you remain within the outhouse so they can test the effects of high explosives, thermite, and other volatile and/or explosive substances on you.


WELL IS THE CUTE REDHEAD GONNA BE THERE!?!


No, they fired her.

:grinds down onto goblin carcass:


GoatToucher wrote:

No, they fired her.

:grinds down onto goblin carcass:

WHHAAAATTTT!!! WELL THEN THIS ISNT A WORLD I WANT TO LIVE IN ANYWAY!!!! BLOW ME UP SCOTTY!!!!


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:wriggling just enough to get his trowing arm out, the goblin rolls a bomb towards the outhouse. A tear in his eye, his last word as the bomb taps against the building:

boom

:The bomb explodes:


Such colors...sniff...so beautiful...


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Farewell, brave goblin.

* pours bottle of Jack onto curb in Mogmurch's memory *


Squeak. *sniff*


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Squeak. *munches on troll meat*


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

No, John, don't eat that! You'll get sick.


HA! Meat so vile it can make a rat barf.


Squeak! *sniffs around the corpse of MBT and outhouse*

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