Last one to post wins


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Grand Lodge

:Flies back into the area:

Hey, guys...... What's going on?


5 / 4 be with you.

As the win is with me.


Nope, *yoink*

Runs off laughing.....

Scarab Sages

...into a tunnel that's actually just been painted onto a solid wall. Then I come out of tunnel, which, naturally, is real for me, and take the Win off his unconscious form.


*Comes out of cliff face. Takes win from IHIYC. Turns it incorporeal. Goes back into cliff face.*

Sovereign Court

Honestly, the lengths people will go for the win!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I AVE A FEW QUESTIONS!!!
FIRST WHY ARE MY PANTS WET?!?
B. WHERE IS MY LEFT HAND?!?
3. WHY IS MY FACE MISSING?!?
Q. WHY IS THERE A NAGA CHEWING ON MY BITS?!?

Scarab Sages

Um...because you're a world-renowned rock star, and having that done to you was all in the rider you sent the hotel?


* sits in chair, sipping lemonade and eating one of "the Win" cupcakes, and enjoying the show, knowing safely that I still possess the Win and everyone else is grabbing the various duplicates *

Let's see - I've done s'mores, sundaes, cookies, and cupcakes. What else shall I bring in for treats? I wonder if I give MBT peanut butter it will have the same effect as giving peanut butter to a dog.

* hands MBT a jar of peanut butter and a spoon *


YAY!!! PEANUT BUTTER!!!! *discovers unknown peanut allergy. dies*


Is it me, or does it look like Gramps is trying to fatten us up like that witch did to Hansel?


*nom nom* Don't care....cookies...*nom*


Oh no, dear Schism - I'm just a kindly old man who likes to see people happy. If you prefer I can bring in fruits and vegetables. Fattening people up indeed! It's not like my treats did any harm to anyone.

* throws blanket over MBT's corpse *

Sovereign Court

Yes that's right Schism, GW is a really kind man! Now, time to say hello to my newest friends!

*Grommash Hellscream, Kargath Bladefist, Ner'Zul, Durotan, Gul'Dan, Kilrogg Deadeye and Rend Blackhand appear on the horizon with the rest of the orc clans.*

To victory! Slay all who stand in your way! Except for GW, of course!

Scarab Sages

*stands on the bridge of an orbiting Protoss Mothership as it atomizes the Horde from orbit - with the exception of Quetzalcoatl the Blood Elf Mage and Lydia the Forsaken Warlock, who are beamed up as grateful refugees from a dying cesspit of a world*


* stands up and dusts myself off *

Hey now - careful where you're aiming! You almost hit the treat table.

Durned Protoss. They really need to work on their accuracy. Maybe they should practice on a few Zerg worlds.

* waves cane and teleports the Protoss Mothership to the edge of Zerg-controlled space while at same time both cloaking the ship and protecting it in a powerful force field *

Now where was I?

* pours another glass of lemonade and sits back down in chair and soon falls asleep *


Screw the protoss, the Terran have the best sound track.
Plus they have Jimmy Raynor, Kerrigan semi-counts, for obvious reasons.


Squeak! *nibbles on cupcake crumbs*

Sovereign Court

Our bond is iron, our will unbreakable, who will stand against us?


* wakes up *

I got it - ice cream cake for everyone.

* waves cane, summoning hundreds of ice cream cakes in various designs and flavors, all magically enchanted to not melt into piles of sticky goo and yet easily able to be cut *


I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream for Ice Cream


And for other reasons only tangentially related to ice cream.

Sovereign Court

Me and my allies in the Horde, graciously accept your gift GW.

Sovereign Court

Here's a brain teaser for you: I have joined one of the orc clans, but which one? The answer will be revealed when next I post.


No ice cream cakes for the Burning Bone Clan, though - not after what they did to my fruit trees and plants. They destroyed over half of them in their mad rush for a bite to eat. All they had to do was ask and I would have given them some. But no, they had to just rampage through. The worst part was they trampled nearly all of my pineapple plants into the ground - and those they didn't they took all the pineapples. Until they come and help me replace the damaged plants no treats for any of them!

* wags finger at the Burning Bone Orcs, who all hang their heads in shame and shuffle their feet - a few of them even begin crying *


Sound's like Nasty Orc. He must be a member of that tribe.


While you prattle, I win.

Don't cry, it's unbecoming.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Everyone wins when Grandpa Wonderbra is around.

Sovereign Court

Agreed! Oh and to answer the question: I'm actually part of the Laughing Skull Clan! Weird I know, but they just appeal to me.

*Puts on a green tabard with a picture of a white laughing orc skull and a mask of laughing orc skull.*


Squeak! *eats some ice cream cake*


Eat all you want. I love fat mouse-kabobs!
[sound effect]Snikt[/sound effect]


Bad kitty! You leave John alone!

* waves cane and telport's Kat's Eye to a magical world full of catnip and saucers of cream *

That should keep the cat occupied for a while.

Avatar, dear friend, did I hear you're part of the Laughing Skulls? Oh such good boys and girls. They helped me dig the koy pond I have in my backyard a few centuries back. I am pleased to know they are still around.


*ROMP ROMP ROMP ROMP*
*LAP LAP LAP*
*PUUUURRRRRRRR!*


Squeak.

Sovereign Court

We members of the Laughing Skull Clan were glad to help you out GW, you're our friend - we ALWAYS help out a friend - besides, we loved the way you made Dagon scream for his life when you sacrificed him in Aztec fashion!

Now on to business: the following orc clans have vacancies (but hurry, space is limited):

1. Burning Blade
2. Shadowmoon
3. Flowerpicker
4. Whiteclaw
5. Red Walker
6. Thunderlord
7. Blackrock
8. Shattered Hand
9. Lightning's Blade
10. Frostwolves
11. Warsong
12. Bleeding Hollow
13. Bonechewer

Sovereign Court

You may have noticed that the Burning Bone Clan is not listed, that's because the warchief (me) has forbidden them from recruiting or anything else until they repair the damage that they did to GW's fruit trees and plants. Fortunately for them, I have sent a few Tanaan Genesaurs to provide some aid.


Squeak! *joins the Flowerpicker Clan*


*Stalks his next snack*

Poog stuff stick in JohnRat and roast with mud gravy, yumyum.


I'm back from overseeing the repairs to my fruits. Everything is going well. I should have fresh strawberries for shortcake in a day or two.

* notices "THE" Poog of Zarongel about to harm John and hits Poog over the head with cane *

Bad goblin! Next time you try to harm John I will stick you in a room with fire-proof books.

Sovereign Court

Someone needed to make sure that the Burning Bone Clan made amends for their misdeeds. Oh, nice work saving John from Poog, GW! :-)

*Thinks for a moment.*

The Whiteclaw Clan might just be the clan for you, GW, as they are among the oldest and wisest orcs around. You seem to be just like them in many respects and they show an interest in your work. :-)


The Cat Came Back


The Whiteclaw Clan, you say, Avatar? I would be honored to join the Whiteclaws. As for the Burning Bone - well, I've got them cleaning out a few barns for some individuals I know - fiendish cattle can make quite the mess.

* places some fish and a bowl of milk on the floor for Kat's Eye *


Such a pleasant old codger. One might even say ancient. All it would take is a shiv to the spleen and old Gramps Wonderblaw would be pushing up the daisies. What a shame. If someone were to shiv the grandpop...


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Nothing can truly kill the old man. Death is his younger brother. Besides, I'd hate to see the fool who did try to hurt him.

* hefts Banhammer Jr. *

Avatar of Zon-Kuthon, is there a clan dedicated to defending the Whiteclaws? If so, that's the clan for me.


Whiteclaws? Claws should be red and dripping with the blood of your enemies.

Sovereign Court

Let me see:

@Uncle Teddy: I don't think there is, but one can be appointed if you so wish. Just tell me your specialities and I can recommend as appropriate (eg expert animal handlers -mounts and battle companions- then the Thunderlord clan is for you).

@Cluny: If blood is what you seek, then either join the Bleeding Hollow clan (as they blood rituals to turn their members into hulking berserkers) or the Bonechewer clan (because not only do they like to kill people, as their name implies, they like to eat their foes).


Kat's Eye wrote:

The Cat Came Back

SQUEAK!


John the Rat wrote:
Kat's Eye wrote:

The Cat Came Back

SQUEAK!

That was funny!

Sovereign Court

To you maybe, but not to us! We Laughing Skulls prefer jokes that are more tasteful. The Bladewind Clan (one of the few orc clans NOT recruiting) however, do possess "that" sort of humour.

Scarab Sages

Alright folks, it's time for random ability score generation!!! Whatdoweget???

Suite 1:
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (12) + 7 = 19
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (12) + 7 = 19
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (12) + 7 = 19
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10

Suite 2:
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (11) + 7 = 18
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11
1d12 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17

I choose Suite 1! :D

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