Quotes Thread

[David M Mallon]

"It should be kind of a giveaway that you've made a not ideal military procurement decision when your sniper scope has a picture of a groundhog on it."
- Ian McCollum

[Alexis "The Odd" Trismegistis]

"Cancer isn't just a vile wasting disease - it's a dick about being a vile wasting disease."

― Yours Truly

[Naghamadi]

"The corruption of the priesthood occurred at the precise moment in which it changed from a minority organised to impart knowledge into a minority organised to withhold it.

The great danger of decadence in journalism is almost exactly the same. Journalism possesses in itself the potentiality of becoming one of the most frightful monstrosities and delusions that have ever cursed mankind.

This horrible transformation will occur at the exact instant at which journalists realise that they can become an aristocrat...."

― G.K. Chesterton

[David M Mallon]

"Always be ready to speak your mind, and a base man will avoid you."
- William Blake

[quibblemuch]

David M Mallon wrote:

"Always be ready to speak your mind, and a base man will avoid you."

- William Blake

"Moses came in through the window and entered my body through my left knee."

-Also William Blake

Just saying, sometimes speaking your mind might lead more than base men to avoid you...

[Ao Shoku]

"When out of fear you twist the lesser Evil into the lie that it is something Good, you eventually rob people of the capacity to distinguish between Good and Evil."

― Hannah Arendt

[Vladek Odradek]

"What is really amazing, and frustrating, is mankind's habit of refusing to see the obvious and inevitable until it is there, and then muttering about unforeseen catastrophes."

― Isaac Asimov

[David M Mallon]

"How did you go bankrupt?" "Two ways," Mike said. "Gradually, then suddenly."
- Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises (1926)

[Khāṇa Tsogtsos]

"It's the Internet: Where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents."

― "Dr. Tiger Firehammer", City of Heroes player

[Phillip Gastone]

Mac: All right, how about "Cat Game?"
Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'
[Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side]
Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration.
[the man hands him his license]
Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow. (2)
[Mac ticks off two fingers]
Larry Johnson: Sorry.
[the man laughs a little]
Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
Larry Johnson: Oh, no.
Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
[pause]
Foster: All right meow, (3) where were we?
Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Foster: Am I saying meow?
[Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an "eehhh" facial expression, as he is considering the last one]
Larry Johnson: I thought...
Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, (4) do you know how fast you were going?
[man laughs]
Foster: Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?
Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?
[Mac is gut-busting laughing]
Foster: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?
[feigned anger]
Foster: Do you see me eating mice?
Foster: [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now] You stop laughing right meow! (6)
Larry Johnson: [the man stops and swallows hard] Yes sir.
Foster: Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. (8) It's the law.
[rips off the ticket and hands it to the man]
Foster: Not so funny meow, (9) is it?
Foster: [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows] Meow! (10)

[The Status Crow]

Phillip Gastone wrote:

Meow!

Hell, I can say "meow." I can say "moo." For twenty bucks, I'll call the guy a chicken-f*@%er.

[Mikhail Ximenez]

"You've got to love a railway operated by the Catholic Church; they always pull out on time!"

― Matthew J. Elliot

[Sirius Sa'luk]

"It is certain that stealing nourishes courage, strength, skill, tact, in a word, all the virtues useful to a republican system and consequently to our own. Lay partiality aside, and answer me: Is theft, whose effect is to distribute wealth more evenly, to be branded as a wrong in our day, under our government which aims at equality? Plainly, the answer is no."

― Marquis de Sade, He of the Certainly-Never-Boring Opinion

[Mercutio Menschjaeger]

"There's nothing new under the sun, but de Sade was pretty original, all things considered."

― Rotten.com

[quibblemuch]

Nature Lesson: When you come across a tree stump, you can figure out how dead it is by counting the number of times it's been chopped down.

-Ze Frank

[Nemesis Melek]

"Nine times out of ten it is the coarse word that condemns an evil, and the refined word that excuses it."

"Whatever else we may say of our own age, for good or evil, nobody is likely to call it an Age of Reason."

"I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean."

― G.K. Chesterton

[Theconiel]

Starbuck:"... and you see these angels."
Baltar: "With alarming regularity."
Starbuck: "Regularity. That must be important when you're full of crap."

[quibblemuch]

"...if you tell me that your candy game is such a f#%+ing 'saga' that there can be no other sagas, then you are a language criminal, and you belong in word jail."

-Jerry Holkins

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

quibblemuch wrote:

"...if you tell me that your candy game is such a f$++ing 'saga' that there can be no other sagas, then you are a language criminal, and you belong in word jail."

-Jerry Holkins

That joint is notorious for its crazy warden!

EDIT: OMFG to think all this time I assumed the Penny Arcade guys at least vaguely resembled their characters; I wasn't expecting Nardole from Dr. Who!

[Sirius Sa'luk]

"I feel great when I’m there...[at an expensive bar in Washington, D.C.]. I feel like when I’m on my barstool, I’m making a senator wait."

― Walter Kirn

[Theconiel]

"Eletelephony"

Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

- Laura Elizabeth Richards

This poem is in the public domain.

[Lucija Lal Rani]

"AI accidentally made me believe in the concept of a human soul by showing me what art looks like without it."

― "beultra_warrior", Internet commenter

[quibblemuch]

A great deal of my rebellious attitude really stems from a simple inability to understand what is being asked of me.

-Philip K. Dick (1979 interview w/Charles Platt)

[Theconiel]

"Literary men make a great fuss of their petty quarrels: the rest of the world ignores them, or laughs at them."

- Voltaire (in a letter to Jean-Jacques Rousseau)

[Dr. Zephyrus Vitruvian]

This has been shared here before, BUT seeing as that was back before I'd even joined this site:

"It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry."
― Thomas Paine

[Ed Reppert]

"I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer

[Phillip Gastone]

According to all known laws of aviation.....

[Bjørn Røyrvik]

...there is no way a bumblebee should be able to fly.

(thank you, Doctor Who)

[Phillip Gastone]

Time for a Bee Movie script stress test.

[quibblemuch]

"You can't operate a deconstruction machine indefinitely; ultimately, the machine is all you have left to take apart. We need to make aspirational s@$$ again so we have something to deconstruct later."

-Jerry Holkins

[The Amazing Vanzetti]

“War happens when the government tells you who the enemy is. Revolution happens when you figure it out for yourself.”

― (reportedly) Napoleon Bonaparte

[Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis]

“An intermittent connection is the devil's plaything.”

― my father, an engineer

[Mikhail Ximenez]

“Think of Sir Keir as a Monty Python archbishop as written by George Orwell under the direction of Franz Kafka — there’s what’s left of your jolly old England!”

― a political/current-events blogger I sometimes read

[Nectanebo the Vulture]

“'Why are you focused on old stuff?' Well, I’ll tell you: For the same reason that, when I want to pull a tree out of my yard, I don’t pull the top branch. I pull the root.”

― Walter Kirn