John Ghoti, Mob Boss wrote:
“Chawn Khoche” - sounds fishy... hey, you wanna muscle in on some prime bridge territory? I know a guy...
Demko Nylander wrote:
Asking for...a friend.
A guy with... friends.
I can... get behind that.
I, too, know a guy.
Demko Nylander wrote:
Now, first off, ta be clear, I'm not - and I repeat not - suggesting you... break any laws, ya hear me?
That said... hypothetically... for your... friend... by blatantly ignoring the WBL/TPE guidelines, you could grab a wand of animate dead for 11,250+(50 x onyx cost) gold and hypothetically have up to fifty undead at first level (presupposing you knew the command word), though only 20HD - that's less than ten - of the creatures could be automatically controlled by the wand.
Hypothetically, there's command undead, but that requires either another wand (at 4.5k more gold) or even more expensive item.
'Course, if ya- er... friend, your friend, yes - happened to be a wizard or sorcerer or the like and find someone else's undead all nice an' animated already for
Now, of course... this is all strictly hypothetical. We're all just... helping friends, here. And if that's what you want to do... help a friend... then - strictly hypothetically, of course... I know a guy...
Hey, now. Best not be hornin' in on another's business, yeah? Yeah.
So now I shall be asking - politely - that you refrain from overstepping your bounds, and must further ask that you leave all such brokerages to me.
If not? Well... I know a guy...
I'm sure that's what Inwas going to say. Yes.
My story definitly Cyric's out. I know a guy.
Most destructive Treerazor,
I hear you want to gain power and destroy your father and the elves.
Well, see, I know a guy. He happens to be looking for a demon to enbiggen, to help destroy elves and take out your pa, you know? See where I'm going with this?
But here's the deal: to make the formula just right, he kinda needs to know more about the circumstances of your "start" as it were, ya dig?
We heard of your Pop... but how? Did you just, I'unno, "Pop" into existence from him? Did he imprison and torture you to turn you into the fine specimen of utter waste and destruction you are today (well, obviously not, you did that part, but, you know what I mean)? Or was there some unholy concoction of abyssal and elven juices that your ol' pater-jerk-face spit in (or whatever) to get you started (even if it was on accident - though, in truth, they say you're too impressive not to exist, so it could just be incidental that the jerk happens to be vaguely related to you). Or did you just use it to get more power and really are unrelated? What did you use (and prob'ly rip apart) to start yourself on your epic journey toward the impressive destructive entity you are today?
Also, were it possible, would you appreciate someone interested in strengthening your Blackaxe, only to be immediately devoured by you? I know another guy...
... if so, how was it crafted, if you know...?
These guys both wanna mention they're faithfully yours 'til you devour them and everything else.
Or what if a paladin a burns an orphanage to the ground - or otherwise destroys it utterly, as it's taken special action to defend itself against errant adventurers and the like - and slaughters everything that was living inside and salts the earth behind him?!
To be fair, it was a "demon orphanage" created by demons for demons whose parents had been smote by (probably now-fallen) paladins, filled with orphan demons that were created by fiends mating with each other to produce full-fledged sentient demons at slightly reduced strength (-1 CR until they "grow up"). It was basically there to make sure the demons all gained their full strength and then the advanced template, and hated good and law even more than normal demons. And the salt was holy undead bane salt meant to ensure that the demons didn't rise as undead thereafter.
Heh. I knew a guy...
Bowl of Petunias wrote:
Yeah... I know a guy...
That gives me chills~!
Lt. Yesterday, Bad Pun Police wrote:
Sir, we're going to have to ask you to please stop.
Yes, officer, absolutely, officer, we understand, sir.
But, hey, I know how these things go, and, uh, you seem to be a discriminatin' officer o' th' law.
Perhaps we could all be... friends here. Help each other out. Fulfill each other's needs... you know?
I know a guy...
Have you considered that weird guy talkin' 'bout Pepe Lepew ideas stinkin'? Or maybe a certain registration system? Could go a long way for your career bustin' some o' those... you know?
* nudge-nudge, wink-wink *
EDIT: We could help ya out, if ya jus' look th' other' way...
Which tactic would be most useful for morphing the exchange into something about a succubus in a grapple?
Mark Seifter wrote:
That's be either red herring or an *erhem* "emotional" appeal. But this is starting to move to verbal duels now, also not the topic. Whoops! :o
Chemlak; Mark. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrk. Baby.
I got connections. I can get you what you need, guys.
I hear-tell you're lookin' for somethin' with the power to make your games... shine. Let me tell ya: I've got exactly what you need. It's ain't easy ta get, no, but I know a guy. I c'n tell you my secret, 'cause I c'n guarantee you ain't findin' it elsewhere: it's called Session Zero.
(Sign up now, for only $9.99 per month.)
captain yesterday wrote:
*proceeds to spread it around online everywhere, especially those Korean sites...*
So how long does someone has to be dead before it is considered archeology instead of grave robbing?
Psst. Hey, psst. Tinkergoth. Y'need a... geek card? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got one. I got aaaaaaaaall the geek cards you need.
"Why would I have- ?"
Ah. I see. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it, yeah, 's a fair question. Fair question. Now, see, there's this guy - a guy I know, right? -, named Ninja-Assassin; and he knows this other guy, whats's'name, uh, "Taktiksleon". Yeah, this "Taktiksleon" guy, well, I hear he's got a... well, he's got a problem, see? Keeps "losin'" his cards 'round the geek police. It's unfortunate, but, you know, recurring problem. And a guy needs to keep his cred up, right? Right so-
- Hey! I got nuthin' ta do with it! -
Anyway, so since there's a need, enterprisin' folk, such as myself, well... we're just here to provide for a need, right? That's all. A need. Yeah, it's a service, really. S'why the first one is free.
So, I got this covered for you if you-
Hm. Well, I see you are no longer in need of my particular services in this regard. Very well, but keep me in mind... for the next time. For there is always a next time.
* slinks off into the shadows *