I have the wonderous item that think is my best ever. Its tight, its rather ingenius, and less then 150 words. The only thing its missing is a cool-ass, Superstar quality name. Any suggestions? Feel free to be anything but helpful.
Yes this thread is intended for humor purposes only and I am not actually asking for help.
Why not call it "The Item"? Invokes a bit of mystery, eh? ;)
*one very over-tired kobold is laughing quite hysterically*
Pasties of Whirlybird Flight
Blaring Horn of Sarcasm ?
Oh wait, that might be TOO cool...
The Ruling Bling.
(i.e. One Bling rule them all, One Bling to find them...etc.)
Maguffin of Ultimate Power
RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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heckle fruit - a perpetually rotten tomato
titanic floss - also known as 50 feet of silk rope
tourist rrap - large wooden platform, trapped with a spring-loaded metal bar, baited with souvenirs
"Bruce's Flaming Pants of Horrific Pain"
- Whooaa I'm on fire!
or
"Mariah's Wonderous Pair"
- #1 weighted dice on the Rogues Top 100 list - "They roll like fake dice but they look completely real"
Maguffin of Ultimate Power
THIS.
The Thing!
It worked for Marvel Comics, Addams Family, John Carpenter, and Volkswagen.
I like the use of the word "MacGuffin," but I find the name lacks the punch and poetry that are provided by alliteration, voila:
Mairkurion's Mighty MacGuffin of Marvels, or
Mairkurion's Marvelous MacGuffin of Might.
And like Dr. Tarren Dei, I am generous...
Sabastian's fluffy pony doll of dooom
This one is currently winning.
Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Sabastian's fluffy pony doll of dooomThis one is currently winning.
This better be one cool ass, or I'm suing. Way cooler than the stupid donkey that represents the democratic party. I'm thinking the Spuds McKenzie of asses. A burro with attitude. I'm picturing Poochie from the Simpsons, but more extreme.
Captain Codpiece's New and Improved Mellifluous Mastadon Ointment
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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- #1 weighted dice on the Rogues Top 100 list - "They roll like fake dice but they look completely real"That's totally not the direction I thought you were headed when you said "Mariah's wondrous pair."
As for item names, I can think of only one possible name to match the implied awesomeness of the OP's undisclosed item: Migrus Locker II.
Of course, any item named Migrus Locker II would have to be engraved with the subtitle, "Revenge of the Migrus." Or possibly just, "The Reckoning."
son of migrus locker?
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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son of migrus locker?- #1 weighted dice on the Rogues Top 100 list - "They roll like fake dice but they look completely real"That's totally not the direction I thought you were headed when you said "Mariah's wondrous pair."
As for item names, I can think of only one possible name to match the implied awesomeness of the OP's undisclosed item: Migrus Locker II.
Of course, any item named Migrus Locker II would have to be engraved with the subtitle, "Revenge of the Migrus." Or possibly just, "The Reckoning."
Migrus 2: Mummified Boogaloo?
The coolest ass name is probably my ass' name. Lazerwulf.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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The coolest ass name is probably my ass' name. Lazerwulf.
And, what's most disturbing about this fact is that the Jade does not actually own any animals...
For those slow on the uptake, it's a nickname he has for his butt.
Yes, Sharoth, you are exactly the person I am referring to in the above spoiler. But, since I know clicking buttons without a tilda is well beyond your computer skills, you won't ever manage to learn of either the clarifying comment above or this buried pot shot at you. Mha ha ha.
nickname
Oh most assuredly. ;)
I have the wonderous item that think is my best ever. Its tight, its rather ingenius, and less then 150 words. The only thing its missing is a cool-ass, Superstar quality name. Any suggestions? Feel free to be anything but helpful.
Yes this thread is intended for humor purposes only and I am not actually asking for help.
Call it "Cindy!"
I think you need a cool name for the hat that your ass wears.
<G> You are a mean mistreater, Mr. Vic.
Hm. How about...
Fang of Fluffy?
Depending on the book or webcomic you read, it could refer to Cerberus (Harry Potter) or the dreaded vampire lord (A Modest Destiny).
Failing that, maybe "Poisoned-Exploding-Lightsaber-Chucks" (cookie for whomever gets THAT reference) or "Bottle of Nuke Summoning" (how would that even WORK?!)?
Hmm, in one modern-day RPG our characters came to possession of a dreaded magic item, "Phone Number of Air Strike Summoning".
Call it "Cindy!"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sketches sign of Sarenrae and shows it to DaveMage* Stay back fiend. The Brady Undead Bunch shall not dig its fangs into our pure culture!
The Death Star.
What ? Is that one taken ?
yea, right along with Liquid Schwartz.
Uncle Mortimers Mighty Metal Mayhem Machine!!
Call it "Cindy!"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sketches sign of Sarenrae and shows it to DaveMage* Stay back fiend. The Brady Undead Bunch shall not dig its fangs into our pure culture!
I guess "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" is right out then....
I know I know I know what it really is!
You made the G-String of Flatulence!
*parades around in the G-String of Flatulence for all to see*
I was just about to eat lunch. I'm not hungry anymore now.
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Joke items;
Can of Infinite Whup Ass - a failed attempt at making a Decanter of Endless Waiters, this item, when shaken then opened, produces a mob of goblins filling all nine adjacent squares. For the next ten round, the can continues to produce nine goblins per round. They don't follow any particular commands, but do whatever goblins normally would do in their new surroundings. The goblins are dressed in crisp white jerkins and well-tailored black overcoats (but no trousers) and are armed with silvery colored serving trays and a white serving cloth (treat as a whip and small shield).
Mace of Sharpness - this weapon has a non-euclidean head that hurts to look at and does B/P/S damage. It completely ignores all forms of Damage Reduction, including DR/Epic and the untyped DR of Barbarians clad in Adamantine Armored Kilts.
Cravat of Rapier Wit - whenever you make a Diplomacy or Intimidate roll to change someone's reaction, you can choose to also inflict 1d6 nonlethal damage to the target.
Quaal's Feather Token (horse), now on discount! - an unfortunate failure of the process, it turns out living creatures could not survive the process. When this token's power is invoked, it turns into a dead horse, with an expression of shock and alarm frozen on it's face. If the user can think of a use for a dead horse, then this item is a bargain!
Xander: "Man, why make a cool magic item and give it a weak name like 'the DuLac Cross?'"
Giles: "Perhaps because his name was DuLac?"
Xander: "Oh." "Still, I would have called it the Cross-O-Matic, or The Amazing Mister Cross!"
Um... you want to name your ass?
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Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Oh, and just for the record, I've got dibs on naming my item Chuck Norris.
Dammit ya beat me to it. Oh, well, may I suggest "Invisible Christopher Walken" nsfw
Oh, and just for the record, I've got dibs on naming my item Chuck Norris.
Dammit ya beat me to it. Oh, well, may I suggest "Invisible Christopher Walken" nsfw
DAMMIT!!! Why didn't I think of those.... Oh well, I guess I'm left with "I'll Get you My Pretty and Your Little Dog Frodo Too."
Pippin's Peck of Pickled Peppers?
Only works for halflings. Enough Pickles to choke a dwarf each day.
yea, right along with Liquid Schwartz.
Oh, yeah.