(n + 1) Jokes for the Overeducated


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how I need a drink alcoholic of course after the heavy chapters involving quantum mechanics


Maybe distract yourself by creating a Tensor character that can be used in any game system.


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ConanTheGrammarian wrote:
Doesn't that depend on what declension 'martini' is? And who the hell is declining a martini?!

I'd rather decline three German beers than one German adjective.


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A skeleton walks into a bar.

Barkeep: What'll it be?

Skeleton: A beer and a mop.


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A minister, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a bar.

The rabbit says, "I think I might be a typo."


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A priest, a rabbi, an Irishman, a blonde, a duck, and Barrack Obama walk into a bar.

The barkeep says, "What? Is this some kind of joke?"


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The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.

The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

A wife sends her husband to the grocery store for a loaf of bread...

On his way out she says "and if they have eggs, get a dozen". The husband returns home with 12 loaves of bread....


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What Do You Get When You Cross a Cow With an Octopus?

A meeting with the ethics committee and the swift removal of your research funding.

Dark Archive

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Vidmaster7 wrote:

What Do You Get When You Cross a Cow With an Octopus?

A meeting with the ethics committee and the swift removal of your research funding.

Stupid committees, never let anybody have any real fun. Hey, wanna watch me randomly swap around their heads and put their feet on backwards?

Liberty's Edge

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Vidmaster7 wrote:

What Do You Get When You Cross a Cow With an Octopus?

A meeting with the ethics committee and the swift removal of your research funding.

You silly twisted boy.


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Yeah! I don't know what you were thinking, ya sicko!

look, I'm tellin' ya, this is a golden opportunity to make the grab - yeah, it's just a buncha disgusted scientists, and they removed the funding, so it's not like there's gonna be a lotta security; mm; mhm; right; I see...

Mr. 7, I do happen to have an entirely unrelated proposition for you, however. See, I know a guy...


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Vidmaster7 wrote:

What Do You Get When You Cross a Cow With an Octopus?

A meeting with the ethics committee and the swift removal of your research funding.

They questioned my ethics at the Academy. They cancelled my research grant. They called me a monster for playing God. They laughed at me.

But I showed those fools!

BEHOLD!!!

*Thunderclap*

So who's laughing now??

**MWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!**


Hahahahahahahah!

... why are we laughing?

(EDIT: no time code point on a phone, see 2:42)


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Why Does a Burger Have Less Energy Than a Steak?

Because a burger is in it's ground state.

Dark Archive

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

I just learned today that electrons have mass. I wasn't even aware they were Catholic.


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Reminds me of chemistry jokes about sodium... Na(w)...

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.


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Vidmaster7 wrote:

What Do You Get When You Cross a Cow With an Octopus?

...

a Tako-off sushi of sumthin a-poaching Bo-vine(slur as divine)?

something prosely edda-citic like Kýreipnir?       icelandic kýr - cow


Tensor wrote:
how I need a drink alcoholic of course after the heavy chapters involving quantum mechanics

The number of letters in each word correspond to the digits of pi.


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kaboom! wrote:
Tensor wrote:
how I need a drink alcoholic of course after the heavy chapters involving quantum mechanics
The number of letters in each word correspond to the digits of pi.

looks around for matches


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I heard you might need something.... Purified.


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A Higgs boson walks into a cathedral. The priest blocks its entrance and says "I'm sorry, but we don't allow subatomic particles in this church."

The boson replies, "But without me, you can't have mass!"


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Little Johnny took a drink
But he will drink no more,
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.


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Everyone has charm, just their color, spin, and flavor make them unique.


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Why can't you ever have more than one parrot in the same space at a time? The Polly exclusion principle! HiYO!

I'll show myself out.


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quibblemuch wrote:

Why can't you ever have more than one parrot in the same space at a time? The Polly exclusion principle! HiYO!

I'll show myself out.

AARRGGon!? it had its noble element


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Why don't dolphins blog?

They prefer to podcast.


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Why are academic politics so cutthroat?

Because the stakes are so small.


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Theconiel wrote:


Q: How did ancient Romans learn about Gaul?
** spoiler omitted **

But... but Caesar said that about his blink-and-you-miss-it weeklong campaign in Pontus, in modern day Turkey. His wars in Gaul took a decade!

(just fulfilling the thread title...)

Liberty's Edge

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Coriat wrote:
Theconiel wrote:


Q: How did ancient Romans learn about Gaul?
** spoiler omitted **

But... but Caesar said that about his blink-and-you-miss-it weeklong campaign in Pontus, in modern day Turkey. His wars in Gaul took a decade!

(just fulfilling the thread title...)

I thought the VENI VIDI VICI boast was about Gaul. Have I been wrong all this time? If so, thank you for setting me straight.

Sovereign Court

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Theconiel wrote:
Coriat wrote:
Theconiel wrote:


Q: How did ancient Romans learn about Gaul?
** spoiler omitted **

But... but Caesar said that about his blink-and-you-miss-it weeklong campaign in Pontus, in modern day Turkey. His wars in Gaul took a decade!

(just fulfilling the thread title...)

I thought the VENI VIDI VICI boast was about Gaul. Have I been wrong all this time? If so, thank you for setting me straight.

If he ever even said it. You can’t trust Suetonius for anything and Plutarch was always too busy making a point to be reliable.


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The North Pole dialect of Elvish is unique among languages in consisting entirely of subordinate clauses.

Liberty's Edge

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What's the difference between a bird with one wing and a bird with two wings?

None, really. It's a matter of opinion.


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Why Is Beer Never Served at a Math Party?

Because you can't drink and derive.

Liberty's Edge

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An unemployed literature professor applied for a job with a construction company. The hiring manager said, "You seem qualified, but I need to ask you one question before I can hire you. What's the difference between a girder and a joist?"

The applicant thought for a moment, and replied, "A girder wrote Faust; a joist wrote Ulysses."

I'll go sit in the corner now.


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Old McDonald had a shoggoth
Iä! Iä! Oh!

Liberty's Edge

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Quibblethulhu wrote:

Old McDonald had a shoggoth

Iä! Iä! Oh!

I just texted this to a few friends.


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A Farmer Counted 196 Cows in the Field

But when he rounded them up, he had 200.


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Booo-urns! Booo-urns!


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Today is Debby Harry's birthday. She is 75! A remarkably advanced age for someone suffering from cardiovitreopathy...

Liberty's Edge

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quibblemuch wrote:
Today is Debby Harry's birthday. She is 75! A remarkably advanced age for someone suffering from cardiovitreopathy...

That one took me a second.


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quibblemuch wrote:
Today is Debby Harry's birthday. She is 75! A remarkably advanced age for someone suffering from cardiovitreopathy...

Well done.


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A respiratory therapist, an infectious disease specialist, and an ICU nurse walk into a bar...

Um, no they don't.


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Complex numbers: it's all fun and games until someone loses an i.


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A jeweler led the geologist William Buckland (1784-1856) to an important scientific discovery of an enormous deposit of coprolites. Buckland first noticed them being worn by fashionable London ladies in rings and brooches. (Corprolites, for those who don't know, are fossilized feces.)


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You know parallel lines have so much in common it's a shame they never meet.

Dark Archive

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Vidmaster7 wrote:
You know parallel lines have so much in common it's a shame they never meet.

I love that one. Also "Never trust atoms. They make up everything!"


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A group of physicists went to a restaurant. They ate, and then when the waitress brought over the check, they began explaining to her what the force required to accelerate a mass of one gram at a rate of one centimeter per second squared is. When she looked thoroughly confused, they all took off, leaving behind a bunch of hyphens. The manager called the cops, and the officer who took the report shook his head and said "Yeah, those a*~&+~*s have been pulling this 'Dyne and Dash' routine all over town."

-gran


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They sit a philosopher in a chair, with a pizza at the other end of the room. They let him know that Every 30 seconds the chair will move half the distance to the pizza. The philosopher huffs, stands up and walks out "It will never get there!"

They sit a physicist in the same chair and again with a new (and still hot) pizza at the other end of the room. They let him know that Every 30 seconds the chair will move half the distance to the pizza. The philosopher huffs, stands up and walks out "I know Zenos paradox, it will never get there!"

They sit a Biologist in a chair, with a pizza at the other end of the room. They let him know that Every 30 seconds the chair will move half the distance to the pizza. He takes out a knife and fork and waits. The loudspeaker asks him "aren't you worried you'll never get to the pizza?" biologist says "I'll get close enough..."

Shadow Lodge

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Guess I'm not overeducated.

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