Man dressed as an elf attacks a BMW he thought was a balrog.


Gamer Life General Discussion

Liberty's Edge

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Story here.

Maybe he thought the LSD he took were stat buffs.


ROTFLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
CapeCodRPGer wrote:

Story here.

Maybe he thought the LSD he took were stat buffs.

More like a potion of delusion.


Interesting take on 'pipeweed'.

Grand Lodge

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CapeCodRPGer wrote:

Story here.

Maybe he thought the LSD he took were stat buffs.

Anyone know what his Paizo messageboard handle is?

The Exchange

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Not me.


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Anyone else picturing D&D guy from Reno911?


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Lightning bolt!


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Maybe Tom Hanks will play that guy in a sequel to Mazes and Monsters.


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The full round attack, it does nothing!

Silver Crusade

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Aw man. My mom just transferred from working at the Psych unit in Portland to a different hospital. She will be bummed that she missed this guy.


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- "A man dressed in chain-mail with a helmet, shield and carrying a sword and staff ran into traffic and started attacking her car."

He was carrying a Shield, Sword, and a Staff? Must have been pretty awkward...

- "She called 911, reporting that "a pirate" was attacking her car."

A pirate? Really? Guy's wearing chainmaile and a helmet and he looks like a pirate? >.>

I tell you, folks these days have no appreciation for such things... [/sarcasm]


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News just in: elven warrior confused with pirate.


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Lathoran Silvermoon wrote:

- "A man dressed in chain-mail with a helmet, shield and carrying a sword and staff ran into traffic and started attacking her car."

He was carrying a Shield, Sword, and a Staff? Must have been pretty awkward...

- "She called 911, reporting that "a pirate" was attacking her car."

A pirate? Really? Guy's wearing chainmaile and a helmet and he looks like a pirate? >.>

I tell you, folks these days have no appreciation for such things... [/sarcasm]

Back when I worked in Schools IT Support, I showed up to work on Talk Like A Pirate Day dressed as a pirate... one of the schools had an assembly that day, and had me setting up the presentation equipment while the deputy principal did the introduction. When I was done, she thanked me in front of the whole school, referring to me as the school's personal IT vampire... so I can't say I'm surprised :P


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Won't everyone be surprised when that car causes the downfall of civilization? Poor guy was willing to fight for us... now there is no more hope... *pinches the last candle to extinguish the last point of light*


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Sissyl wrote:
Won't everyone be surprised when that car causes the downfall of civilization? Poor guy was willing to fight for us... now there is no more hope... *pinches the last candle to extinguish the last point of light*

Hmmm... are you saying evil demons shaped as cars are being sold on the west coast? They should put THAT in the tourism guides.


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Would it get more or less people there?

Scarab Sages

I still remember the glorydays of Vampire LARPers in Germany...within one summer we had a bunch of them arrested when they tried to sneak onto the grounds of the Israelian embassy...and another bunch when they played out a shootout in a subway with fake guns...


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Quote:
Man dressed as an elf attacks a BMW he thought was a balrog.

Meh.

"Man dressed as [superhero] attacks a BMW he thought was [Dr. Doom];" "man dressed as [Ronald Reagan] attacks BMW he thought was [Mikhail Gorbachev];" etc. Same difference.

Nutjobs are always going to fixate on something. Blaming the object of their fixation for their insanity is counterproductive.


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Attacked by a high elf, huh?

How appropriate.

Scarab Sages

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Aranna wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
Won't everyone be surprised when that car causes the downfall of civilization? Poor guy was willing to fight for us... now there is no more hope... *pinches the last candle to extinguish the last point of light*

Hmmm... are you saying evil demons shaped as cars are being sold on the west coast? They should put THAT in the tourism guides.

Its probably more like car shaped demons being summoned in Bavarian car factories...

The Exchange

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Seriously guys, it wasn't me! get off my case! why would you even think it was me in the first place?


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Because you're one of those "kids these days" with your tattoos and your piercings.


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Sissyl wrote:
Would it get more or less people there?

I would say it was a toss up but lets face the truth; people would flock westward to see that.


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feytharn wrote:
Aranna wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
Won't everyone be surprised when that car causes the downfall of civilization? Poor guy was willing to fight for us... now there is no more hope... *pinches the last candle to extinguish the last point of light*

Hmmm... are you saying evil demons shaped as cars are being sold on the west coast? They should put THAT in the tourism guides.

Its probably more like car shaped demons being summoned in Bavarian car factories...

The driving habits of their owner sure are fiendish.


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Not it. Not because I would never attack a car with a sword, but because I can't pull off the elf look. Worlds largest dwarf yes but not an elf.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 16, 2012 Top 32

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Ironically, the BMW was a Decepticon.


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I have two 20+ year old BMWs, and the only thing odd about the story was that the owner wasn't the one swinging the sword! These cars have their perks, but they can be annoying sometimes.

THE DOOR OPEN BINGER WON'T SHUT UP!


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Fergie wrote:
THE DOOR OPEN BINGER WON'T SHUT UP!

"You know, it's kind of Zen after a while. Life is a wheel. Time is a river. The door is a jar."


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Orthos wrote:
Fergie wrote:
THE DOOR OPEN BINGER WON'T SHUT UP!
"You know, it's kind of Zen after a while. Life is a wheel. Time is a river. The door is a jar."

Hah, yes! I'm waiting for the upgrade where they program the cars to provide their notifications in haiku form.

I had to replace my copy of Good Omens on the weekend, it's been read so many times over the years that it's basically fallen apart... which is sad, because you can't get that cover art for it anymore and I loved it, but I did score a copy of the recently released hardcover edition which looks really nice.


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I can understand thinking BMWs are evil. In syracuse every. single. one of these things was driven by some yuppie that thought mommy and daddy's trust funds meant they could ignore little things like "STOP" signs, pedestrians in crosswalks, and "on way street" signs.


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Tinkergoth wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Fergie wrote:
THE DOOR OPEN BINGER WON'T SHUT UP!
"You know, it's kind of Zen after a while. Life is a wheel. Time is a river. The door is a jar."

Hah, yes! I'm waiting for the upgrade where they program the cars to provide their notifications in haiku form.

I had to replace my copy of Good Omens on the weekend, it's been read so many times over the years that it's basically fallen apart... which is sad, because you can't get that cover art for it anymore and I loved it, but I did score a copy of the recently released hardcover edition which looks really nice.

Hah. Just realised that I've somehow merged Dead Beat and Good Omens in my head there. Was skimming through Good Omens on the weekend, remembered the haikus about the door being open and seatbelts not being fastened and for some reason thought that quote was from there... an hour and a bit later I have this lightning bolt moment and go "OH CARP! WRONG POP CULTURE REFERENCE!"

Well, that's embarrassing. Who do I hand my geek card into?


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I'll take it. This case needs to be documented and disseminated, you understand, and corroborated stories sell better. =)


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*sighs and hands over geek card*

... Huh. That's weird. I have a sudden urge to slam down cheap awful beer and go to football matches. Oh well.

The Exchange

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Ok, it was me :(


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Tinkergoth wrote:

*sighs and hands over geek card*

... Huh. That's weird. I have a sudden urge to slam down cheap awful beer and go to football matches. Oh well.

Hmmm. Okay, that's bad. We can't have that.

*hands it back*

I'll let you have it back. This once, mind you.

Liberty's Edge

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BigNorseWolf wrote:

I can understand thinking BMWs are evil. In syracuse every. single. one of these things was driven by some yuppie that thought mommy and daddy's trust funds meant they could ignore little things like "STOP" signs, pedestrians in crosswalks, and "on way street" signs.

When my girlfriend was in college she knew a yuppie girl that literary cried buckets when her parents bought her a brand new mercades.

She wanted a BMW. Poor her.


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Alas, poor Fingolfin, fallen in battle against the Morgoth once again!


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The police misunderstood. He had not taken lysergic acid diethylamide - he was simply telling them about his high elf lunch: Lembas So Delicious.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Well, "BMW" does mean "break my windows..."

Scarab Sages

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Not in this case it deosn't
Beware Morgoths Wrath


Sissyl wrote:
Tinkergoth wrote:

*sighs and hands over geek card*

... Huh. That's weird. I have a sudden urge to slam down cheap awful beer and go to football matches. Oh well.

Hmmm. Okay, that's bad. We can't have that.

*hands it back*

I'll let you have it back. This once, mind you.

Hey! What is wrong with beer and football?!

(Ok I can't stand cheap beer... but I don't hold that against the people who do like it)

And cheering your football team to victory is every bit as exciting as a well played role playing session. Compare how you feel when you roll a 1 on an important attack to how you feel when your quarterback fumbles the ball. Identical. And that perfect pass that gets you a touchdown is just like a well timed critical hit.


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Aranna wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
Tinkergoth wrote:

*sighs and hands over geek card*

... Huh. That's weird. I have a sudden urge to slam down cheap awful beer and go to football matches. Oh well.

Hmmm. Okay, that's bad. We can't have that.

*hands it back*

I'll let you have it back. This once, mind you.

Hey! What is wrong with beer and football?!

(Ok I can't stand cheap beer... but I don't hold that against the people who do like it)

And cheering your football team to victory is every bit as exciting as a well played role playing session. Compare how you feel when you roll a 1 on an important attack to how you feel when your quarterback fumbles the ball. Identical. And that perfect pass that gets you a touchdown is just like a well timed critical hit.

It was a joke more than anything. That said...

I wouldn't know. Blood Bowl is the closest I get to football. I associate actual football of all kinds except gridiron and soccer with fairly awful memories of being a child and teenager, and it's linked to the point that watching it will dredge those memories right back up. So I don't go watch it on tv, I don't talk about it, I don't follow a team, and the idea of going to a game is horrifying to me.

As for cheap beer. I don't begrudge those who like it, I just don't want it for myself. Normally not even nice beer to be honest, though I'll drink it if it's offered. I prefer single malt Scotch, red wine, cocktails or dessert wines.


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BigNorseWolf wrote:

I can understand thinking BMWs are evil. In syracuse every. single. one of these things was driven by some yuppie that thought mommy and daddy's trust funds meant they could ignore little things like "STOP" signs, pedestrians in crosswalks, and "on way street" signs.

Geez BNW don't you know that rules don't apply to people like me? Those kinds of rules were made for common people of course not the aristocracy. You really should learn these kind things will make your life a lot easier going forward and save you some frustration.


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Tinkergoth wrote:

*sighs and hands over geek card*

... Huh. That's weird. I have a sudden urge to slam down cheap awful beer and go to football matches. Oh well.

Psst. Hey, psst. Tinkergoth. Y'need a... geek card? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got one. I got aaaaaaaaall the geek cards you need.

"Why would I have- ?"

Ah. I see. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it, yeah, 's a fair question. Fair question. Now, see, there's this guy - a guy I know, right? -, named Ninja-Assassin; and he knows this other guy, whats's'name, uh, "Taktiksleon". Yeah, this "Taktiksleon" guy, well, I hear he's got a... well, he's got a problem, see? Keeps "losin'" his cards 'round the geek police. It's unfortunate, but, you know, recurring problem. And a guy needs to keep his cred up, right? Right so-

- Hey! I got nuthin' ta do with it! -

Anyway, so since there's a need, enterprisin' folk, such as myself, well... we're just here to provide for a need, right? That's all. A need. Yeah, it's a service, really. S'why the first one is free.

So, I got this covered for you if you-

Sissyl wrote:

Hmmm. Okay, that's bad. We can't have that.

*hands it back*

I'll let you have it back. This once, mind you.

Hm. Well, I see you are no longer in need of my particular services in this regard. Very well, but keep me in mind... for the next time. For there is always a next time.

* slinks off into the shadows *


Personally, I played Flag Football when I was in grade school, and soccer in High School. That's about it.

I did create an in-game-world game for an orc clan called "Bjorker", though (secretly, it was a ten-member team modified football game).

RPG Superstar 2011 Top 8

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Over the weekend, my father gave me my great grandfather's sword from his time in the Coast Guard. Maybe I'll keep it in my BMW just in case...mine's a gun metal grey color so it could easily be mistaken for some sort of rock troll. And one of my players does frequently run around in armor at local events...

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