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He's got to be back at the Front shortly. I'm referring to the terrible 90s lads' mag here, not any sort of battlefield.
Also, I'd budget for having to replace all your surgical equipment after you've finished. It'll be ruined.
Can't get rid of the Stench of Stupidity.
I've lost mine.
Tharbe Gold is my cousin's brother's ex-wife.
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Yes, It's unfortunate that she decided to take his last name.
Only officers.
Captain Danger Bear agrees.
He is also interested in employing Dedrick to get rid of some excess belly button fluff, but:
* The professor is entirely sober, and still has some feeling in his fingers
* There is neither rust nor mould on his implements
* His operating theatre is not hosted in a bouncy castle
* In the middle of a sewage farm
* Located in an area currently disputed by the two rival factions in Yemen.
I'm not sure why the Liverpool Victoria insurance company might need to employ a zombie tiger, but demme, I'm glad that they do.
Zombie tigers should be kept on ice. Otherwise, their rotting corpses will spread disease.
You can just varnish them.
Anything apart from lubricating trombone slides, as we have found to our cost.
Silence! Away, away with your false redes!
What varnish will do to the tone and resonance of my fairies' instruments doesn't bear thinking about. The hummus was bad enough.
You put the chickpeas in the jockstrap, shooble doo lang,
The chickpeas in the jockstrap, shooble doo lang,
Though the jockstrap may be teeny, add garlic and tahini,
Makin' hummus in the High School Gym!
...
You know guys, I've been thinkin'.
Don't. It's terribly bad for you.
That calls for
I'd be surprised if we did miss you. Multi-barrelled Halfling launchers can cover a pretty wide area very comprehensively.
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*Appears from the future (10 months later), via a time machine.*
Can't stay for too long, spacetime continuum and all that, but I must deliver an important message:
Multi-barrelled Halfling launchers are not to be used anymore, they're total fashion disasters.
*Starts to leave, then remembers something else.*
Wait, I almost forgot about the second message I needed to deliver.
*Guts Comte de Malodor like a fish by using a wooden spoon.*
Your wife does not forgive you going to the Esquilax Rodeo and forgetting about your anniversary dinner next week.
*Heads back to the future.*
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Gotta catch mating pair of each for Father's zoo.
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I'd help, but all my insides have been replaced with hand-carved wooden cutlery.
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*When Vampire Schism is given the letter from her father, it reads as follows:*
Hello daughter,
Firstly, let me assure that everything is alright, I'm currently in a sort of suspended state of time and space (along with Wally and everyone else). As such, my return is currently postponed until further notice. So, I'm granting you emergency powers to serve as "Acting Countess" until I am able to return. Secondly, in case you have independently thought about acquiring some more creatures for our private zoo, I would like you to obtain a male Tanystropheus (it's something of a personal favorite of mine). Hopefully, all is well with you and that I will be able to continue with the Fantastic Journey and then head home.
I look forward to your reply,
Dad
hi
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Dear Father,
Your last letter has me a little worried.
Hopefully this letter will make it to you.
Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Everything is running smoothly since a certain unmentionable someone isn't here to muck things up.
I'll try to acquire the Tanystropheus, but when I looked them up I found out they were on the protected species list.
Almost all of them have been caught and moved to a sanctuary park in order to protect them.
On the bright side, the sanctuary isn't large enough yet (not enough swampland) so capturing one in the wild shouldn't be a problem.
The only problem will be transportation.
I have expanded you property by buying the Axehandle Estate.
Old Mr. Axehandle was murdered by his nephew for the inheritance.
Although he protested his innocence, the murder knife was found in his bedroom closet.
That is all for now,
Your Daughter.
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Before there was matter, there was energy. The energy swirled and pulsed. It was aimless and chaotic. Then, here and there, formed sparks of thought. The thought built other thoughts and from these thoughts began to form purpose. From the purpose came identity. But there was not unity, the identities disagreed on many issues. From disunity came conflict. From conflict came violence. Certain of the identities learned to eat the weakest of the others. In doing so, they gained power. But the purpose of the eaten identity was taken in as well. In time, there were only two identities left. Neither could swallow the other. With the stalemate, the Two turned away from each other.
One, chose only to think, but the other chose to form some of itself into matter. A universe. And beyond that, other universes. Seemingly without end. Though we know that all things are finite.
Now, composed of both energy and matter, the identity contemplates the things that can be.
And so we have life.
And since we have life, we also have accordions, since one cannot exist without the other.