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I think this is P2 compatible .

THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER (Warlock Patron)
Once upon a time, you were arguing with your good buddy Jethro. Jethro was a "Warlock" of an "Archfey". He was arguing with Jethro, because only Jethro had supposedly seen his Mistress, and she was otherwise unseen, unfelt, and her existence was impossible to prove. Any test you could imagine he had an excuse for. "She doesn't like being seen." "She won't appear in front of non-believers." "I'm not an academic or a Priest, where else would my magic come from?"

The gist of your argument becomes "Anyone could declare themselves a Warlock and gain magical powers then. I could say "I'm a Warlock of the Flying Spaghetti Monster." and, boom, supernatural powers." Jethro wasn't exactly happy with this state of affairs and dared you to try it. So you wrote up an entire description of your "Master" and it's intentions, and what powers it granted you. Everyone thought it was funny until it worked.

Suddenly, people who called themselves "Pastafarians" had access to magic granted by an invisible, immaterial and un-provable being(s), with no apparent oversight. This led to some concerns. If any one could declare they had a set of powers granted by a mystic being for agreeing to follow it's particular ethos, and then it never appears to intervene, even for violations of that ethos, then something was severely bad with reality. So you plunked a pasta strainer down on your head and set out to find the truth.

EXPANDED SPELL LIST
At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Warlock spell. The following spells are added to the Warlock spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Ceremony, Magnify Gravity
2nd: Blindness/Deafness, Blur
3rd: Nondetection, Pulse Wave
4th: Evard's Black Tentacles, Greater Invisibility
5th: Mislead, Modify Memory

HEADGEAR
At 1st Level, you may opt to adopt a pasta strainer, or similar metal dish, as a helmet. This headgear increases your AC by +1. Not only that but you may gift it to another, who can gain the same benefits once it is attuned by them (you must attune as well if you are keeping the headgear). You create a maximum number of helmets equal to your Warlock Level divided by 4 (round down, minimum of 1).

PIRATES ARE COOL
At 1st level, you learn the Message and Vicious Mockery cantrips while hanging out with pirates. They count as warlock cantrips for you, but they don’t count against your number of cantrips known.

WALK UNSEEN
At 6th Level you can now cast Invisibility as an Action, Bonus Action, or a Reaction to being attacked. You must cast it with a spell slot to be able to use this ability. At 10th Level you may also do this for Greater Invisibility.

YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT
At 6th Level you are such an obstinate debater that you become immune to being Charmed.

GRAVITY ARCANUM
At 10th Level, you may switch you may exchange any spell you have taken from Mystic Arcanum for a spell of the same Level from the following list: Gravity Fissure (6th), Etherealness or Reverse Gravity (7th), Dark Star (8th), or Ravenous Void (9th). As you gain each new Mystic Arcanum, you may opt to choose from this list as well. Additionally, all spells you cast with spell slots that do Force damage have their Save DC (if any) increased by +1.

TRUTH BOMB
At 14th Level, you may, as an Action, argue that a particular creature within 60 ft. of you doesn't exist, and if it fails an Intelligence Saving Throw against your spell save DC, the target ceases to exist for 1 Minute. Creatures must be able to hear and understand you, so they must share a language you speak. No one can see the target creature, touch it, or affect it in any way, nor may it affect them in any way. For all intents and purposes, it ceases to exist for 1 Minute, and it reappears in the same square it occupied when it disappeared when the minute has run it's course. this can be used a number of times per Long Rest equal to your Proficiency Bonus.

Trevor here. A fresh out of school investigator who has his magnifying glass, tall hat and overcoat to emulate his favorite investigators.

Greetings

Untitled Goose Game?

I won't give too many tips or hints, but I would suggest that if you get scribe scroll at first level that you take some of you starting gold and use that feat. Being in the theme of 80s horror/slasher movie, there isn't much sleeping when Freddy is around...

One, two, Freddy's coming for you
Three, four, better lock your door
Five, six, grab your crucifix
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late
Nine, ten, never sleep again

I like some of the concepts you guys are putting out there. Keep it up! I really like the two/three options each that Coffee Dragon put forward

Freddy got Fingered after Five Nights at Freddy's.

Chestman gets into a major land war in east Xian Tia.

Merry Christmas!

My goodness! I have been following your adventures from the sidelines and you are giving those thugs a right drubbing! I must compose a poem! Hmm... what goes with 'splatter'?

Briggi for the life of him cannot remember seeing this or being told about it.

Briggi would forevermore be known as the Eternal Private.

Mac: All right, how about "Cat Game?"
Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'
[Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side]
Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration.
[the man hands him his license]
Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow. (2)
[Mac ticks off two fingers]
Larry Johnson: Sorry.
[the man laughs a little]
Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
Larry Johnson: Oh, no.
Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
[pause]
Foster: All right meow, (3) where were we?
Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Foster: Am I saying meow?
[Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an "eehhh" facial expression, as he is considering the last one]
Larry Johnson: I thought...
Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, (4) do you know how fast you were going?
[man laughs]
Foster: Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?
Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?
[Mac is gut-busting laughing]
Foster: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?
[feigned anger]
Foster: Do you see me eating mice?
Foster: [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now] You stop laughing right meow! (6)
Larry Johnson: [the man stops and swallows hard] Yes sir.
Foster: Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. (8) It's the law.
[rips off the ticket and hands it to the man]
Foster: Not so funny meow, (9) is it?
Foster: [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows] Meow! (10)

Some of the finest people I have known were berserkers with axes. Plus some very intricate tattoos.

Glad to see you are ok.

What is the Waffle House alert?

Micronauts got pretty surreal at the end of the run. Something about merging with planets and linking their life force to hold back some cosmic entity?

References to Nick Scratch and Salem's Seven

Been following for a while and have enjoyed your exploits.

Ah! A long legacy.

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

Welcome, my minion!

Let no pudding dare oppose us!

Why does John Wayne even matter? He was a freaking tool.

his death was rather horrid. Caught cancer due to doing a movie that Howard Hughes bankroll that was on radioactive ground. Spread so much his stomach was removed.

One injured Allosaurus against Xykon and crew? Not even a speedbump.

Ok, first draft of Furnok of Ferd. No doubt it will need tweaking

Briggi lifts his shield and goes through the window. You're under arrest!

Hmm.. Maybe a halfling brewer! Sounds nice

Briggi tries beating on a guard again. sap: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 91d6 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

Briggi should stick with small children.

Might dust off my bard, Beorn.

I hot me sap

So can we bot Soryan?

Soryan provides excellent running commentary on Cirok's illusion, pointing out out the highlights and even bloopers such as Colgrim's amusing inability to resist a confusion spell that left him spewing bad poetry and also Cirok's thoughtful elimination of threats from vengeful offpsring.

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (16) + 17 = 33

*Trips over a turtle*

Urrrrppppp!

Fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! Manny screams as the monkees try to haul the goblin off. He holds up his last three alchemist's fire vials so he can die as he always wanted, covered in the flaming bodies of his enemies.

I can be the bait, I'll make them regret trying to kidnap me. I'll turn their head into a chamberpot.

Manny's Wild Ride!

Lulz, aliens!

Ready to die covered in blood and intestines. Mine or someone elses.

Briggi is a patrolman who has no idea about the city he patrols in.

Seems the utter failure of the game didn't clue them in.

Manny faints

Manny looks at Vikla with goo-goo eyes. You have charmed the goblin!

I will think of a new saga to sing.

Been fun

It will be Szuriel with a steel chair.

Life lesson, do not taunt the one holding the stimpack

*Licks Grun, trips balls*

Does anyone have magic that let's us talk from far away? Be helpful right now.

And me without diplomacy/intimidate

Briggi tries to get some of the fleeing guardsmen back into formation in order to try to get something done.

Guards! Don't flee at this time! This is what we signed up for and will show we have what it takes to wear the colors! Plus ale is on me!

Diplomacy: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Briggi is suddenly in danger of getting lynched by the other guards and so runs his tin plated butt off.

She is a descendant of Lady Alcina Dimitrescu!

There is nothing worse than being caught in THE GAP! I mean have you seen the clothes they sell?

Only if you promise to eat your veggies.

I think originally, androids were more like Nier:Automata's androids.

Aggh punches the symbol off
Strength: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21