101 Ways To Make Your Players Say "Oh F-"


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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102 - To party druid "Your sure the local birds are all singing something catchy. Something along the lines of 'Food! Glorious Food!'"

102- any time I play the T-Rex roar from Jurassic Park.

102 - Congrats your characters are now married.

102 - Me - "You open the door and see a skeletal dragon looming just beyond!"
Player - "i cast fireball, before it attacks!"
Me - "Okay I'll need everyone to roll a reflex save , as the wizard just cast a fireball into a ten by ten room."


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Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Chaotic_Blues wrote:
102- any time I play the T-Rex roar from Jurassic Park.

My mother's cousin is a real big audiophile with a crazy large sound system in his home. When my family and I were staying at his place for my big brother's wedding, he woke us all up early in the morning by playing that very roar loud enough to rattle the windows and wake up the neighbors four blocks away.

Scared the everloving bejezus out of all of us.


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102 - Tooth Fairy Swarm


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102. The PCs are invited to a dinner party by the city council, in celebration of defeating a corrupt and influential official and his henchmen. They each receive a letter of invitation. As they sit at the table during dinner and all open their letter...it merely says:

Suckers... (Maximized empowered explosive runes go off)

36 x 1.5, ×5. > 270 dmg.
People in the streets also see the windows blown to shards.


^Explosive Runes as mail bomb -- interesting application . . . Now I've got this idea for a campaign in which one of the villains is the magical equivalent of Ted Kaczynski . . . .


I had that idea for a while, but haven't found a use to implement it properly yet.

It could be a good one for a cliffhanger, or as transition to something else, after they died from massive force damage.


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102.

While wading through muddy water have them feel things moving and bumping against their legs.


102. The team explores a seemingly deserted location.
The air is moist, and they enter a large chamber, the floor is filled with pods...

Roll me a reflex save, everyone.


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
102. While wading through muddy water have them feel things moving and bumping against their legs.

That's too real life for me... gah... Nature is awful and I am never going outside again... :)


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I had my players find a room full of ancient, crumbling pods that had hatched long ago. Just finding that scared the jeebies out of them.


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On those rare occasions when I get to play instead of GMing, just the word "pods" is enough to make me say "Oh f---".

Nothing good ever comes out of pods. Ever.


And nothing good ever shambles.


quibblemuch wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
102. While wading through muddy water have them feel things moving and bumping against their legs.
That's too real life for me... gah... Nature is awful and I am never going outside again... :)

Had a 6 player APL 5 encounter these once while crossing a marsh. They never waded in water again.

Belostomatid

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

quibblemuch wrote:

On those rare occasions when I get to play instead of GMing, just the word "pods" is enough to make me say "Oh f---".

Nothing good ever comes out of pods. Ever.

The hometown of my campaign setting is Podwick.

Spoiler:
But it's a steampunk city on top of a giant beanstalk


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
And nothing good ever shambles.

I dunno. These days it takes till 10 or 11 in the morning before I really stop shambling...


quibblemuch wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
And nothing good ever shambles.
I dunno. These days it takes till 10 or 11 in the morning before I really stop shambling...

Least your mobile, pretty sure rolling over in bed to slap the alarm clock for that racket it's making isn't considered shambling. Which is what I tend to be doing at 10 or 11.

Grand Lodge

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102. Running a 40k game, player returns to the table just as I'm saying "Tyranids are immune to pinning."


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Boomerang Nebula wrote:
miscdebris wrote:
Boomerang Nebula wrote:
102. GM: you all succumb to the confusing maddening scream of the otherworldly horror, everyone swap characters.
Ha! I'm running that right now. The PCs love it!

Did they say "oh f-" ?

They were stunned for a moment, then "That's f-ing awesome!"


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:

102.

While wading through muddy water have them feel things moving and bumping against their legs.

Bonus points to actually have something brush against their legs while giving the description. How loud is that remote control Roomba?


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miscdebris wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:

102.

While wading through muddy water have them feel things moving and bumping against their legs.

Bonus points to actually have something brush against their legs while giving the description. How loud is that remote control Roomba?

Pets are cheaper. Far less predictable. ;)


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Made a player scream right out loud once in a tense, horror type situation. They were in a chamber where people were hung by hooks in their shoulders from rattling, clinking chains, all whispering some unholy mantra over and over. Someone accidentally slammed a door in the next room and she jumped up, screaming, and sending her dice flying. I was pretty proud of that.


DungeonmasterCal wrote:
quibblemuch wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
102. While wading through muddy water have them feel things moving and bumping against their legs.
That's too real life for me... gah... Nature is awful and I am never going outside again... :)

Had a 6 player APL 5 encounter these once while crossing a marsh. They never waded in water again.

Belostomatid

Belostomatids of Earth.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

102. The DM says to the 4th level PCs: "Standing in the center of the chamber is a giant two-headed baboon with tentacles instead of arms."

spoiler:
It was actually a special flesh golem that got to roll initiative twice for my 5th Edition campaign


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105? Your knowledge check reveals that their race is Kender.


102. A heavy rumbling sound comes from the tunnel, and blackness comes rolling forward like a wild river. No, darkvision doesn't work here.

Oh, and you get to roll a DC 40 will save to not voluntarily walk into the blackness.


miscdebris wrote:
Boomerang Nebula wrote:
miscdebris wrote:
Boomerang Nebula wrote:
102. GM: you all succumb to the confusing maddening scream of the otherworldly horror, everyone swap characters.
Ha! I'm running that right now. The PCs love it!

Did they say "oh f-" ?

They were stunned for a moment, then "That's f-ing awesome!"

Eh, close enough.


Goth Guru wrote:
105? Your knowledge check reveals that their race is Kender-pugwampi hybrid.

There you go.

By the 1st actions, it turns out to have class levels in witch and dual cursed oracle.

102. A kender-pugwampi hybrid witch/DCO with a posse of gnoll warrior friends.


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Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Goth Guru wrote:
105?

It's always 102. It's a 101 thread, and 102 is its own WTF, so it never goes higher.


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102: Tonight let's have a discussion on alignment...


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102. "Instead of alignment, I'm using a homebrew system of colors called the Nonochromaton that is in no way like the traditional alignment system, which we all agree is stupid. There are nine colors, representing the Nine Paths of Action. All of your class abilities come from how closely your action aura matches your declared Nonocromata, and you lose them if you hue-shift too far. The first Nonocromata, blue, corresponds to those who believe in order in the service of benevolence. The second..."


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quibblemuch wrote:
102. "Instead of alignment, I'm using a homebrew system of colors called the Nonochromaton that is in no way like the traditional alignment system, which we all agree is stupid. There are nine colors, representing the Nine Paths of Action. The first Nonocromata, blue, corresponds to those who believe in order in the service of benevolence. The second..."

*GM says "Oh F-" when the table flips on 'em.* ;)


Hell. Yeah.


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102. "Ok. So now that we've gone over my homebrew replacement of alignment, let me detail all the homebrew classes I've used to replace the regular classes, which we all agree are boring and horrible. There's the battler, who is an expert in using weapons and armor of all sorts. And there's the rapscallion, a master of skills and traps who can never have a blue Nonochromata. And then there's the sanctifonius..."


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UnArcaneElection wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
quibblemuch wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
102. While wading through muddy water have them feel things moving and bumping against their legs.
That's too real life for me... gah... Nature is awful and I am never going outside again... :)

Had a 6 player APL 5 encounter these once while crossing a marsh. They never waded in water again.

Belostomatid

Belostomatids of Earth.

I was bitten by one of these once, and yes, it hurt like hell.


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
UnArcaneElection wrote:

Belostomatids of Earth.

I was bitten by one of these once, and yes, it hurt like hell.

Nature. Is. UNACCEPTABLE!

*cowers in house, jabbing at anything that gets too near*


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Yes, but have you yet pitted an eye of the deep against them?

:)


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quibblemuch wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
UnArcaneElection wrote:

Belostomatids of Earth.

I was bitten by one of these once, and yes, it hurt like hell.

Nature. Is. UNACCEPTABLE!

*cowers in house, jabbing at anything that gets too near*

I grew up on a farm, which was half fields and pastures and half wooded hills. From the age of 5 I was playing over a quarter mile from my house alone in the woods. I learned a lot the hard way about what to poke and what not to poke. The waterbug bite bled for nearly a half hour, but I learned to leave those particular things alone.. lol. Snakes, on the other hand, were fair game. I never killed them, just caught them, much to my dad's horror.


Chyrone wrote:

Yes, but have you yet pitted an eye of the deep against them?

:)

Not yet... lol


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quibblemuch wrote:
102. "Ok. So now that we've gone over my homebrew replacement of alignment, let me detail all the homebrew classes I've used to replace the regular classes, which we all agree are boring and horrible. There's the battler, who is an expert in using weapons and armor of all sorts. And there's the rapscallion, a master of skills and traps who can never have a blue Nonochromata. And then there's the sanctifonius..."

Gotta love a too-stubborn GM. :P

*players pummel the GM mercilessly with the previously flipped table until they quit playing the 'rename the game' game*


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102. *pulls self out from under wreckage of table*

"Alright. We're ready to start. You are at a festival in the small town of Dirtdot. Suddenly, a bunch of nobgrobs leap forth, waving flames and singing a hideous song. What? Nobgrobs? Oh, they're these homebrew creatures I completely made up. Huge heads, they love fire and destru--GAH!"


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102. No matter what, commit to the bit.


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Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

102. Alright everyone, I've decided not to run enemy initiative in groups of similar enemies anymore. (That doesn't give me near enough time in the spotlight.) So now, every individual opponent will act on their own individual initiative counts. (That way, you get to spend more than half your time basking in my magnificence.)


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LOL... Yeah... depending on the size of the enemy party I'll sometimes run them in a group initiative. But lately it's been one on one bad guy to good guy ratios so everyone had individual initiatives. The players don't always like that... lol


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Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
LOL... Yeah... depending on the size of the enemy party I'll sometimes run them in a group initiative. But lately it's been one on one bad guy to good guy ratios so everyone had individual initiatives. The players don't always like that... lol

For example, an orc commander and his half-dozen orc warriors would act on two initiatives; the commander on one, and the warriors on the other (since the warriors all share the same stats, including initiative modifier).

It's easier and makes more sense to do, and I find most GMs do it even before they realize the rules don't technically say they can do it that way.

It's easily one of the most common incidental house rules I've ever seen.

Sure, the occasional player gets upset when said warriors surround him and all get flanking bonuses (whereas PCs would have to make clever use of readied actions and the like for a similar effect), but for the most part, they seem pretty okay with it (in my experience).

The alternative is a fight that takes twice as long and gives the GM entirely too much spotlight; which is arguably worse than the above.


102. They step through a portal, unknowingly entering the sunken city of Cthulhu.


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Chyrone wrote:
102. They step through a portal, unknowingly entering the sunken city of Cthulhu.

Oh fhtagn!


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Quibblethulhu wrote:
Chyrone wrote:
102. They step through a portal, unknowingly entering the sunken city of Cthulhu.
Oh fhtagn!

The sudden onset of pressure damage and drowning rules should clue them in a wee bit. ;)


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Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Ooh, the new pressure rules from Aquatic Adventures are SO nasty too!


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102) They encounter a group of high-Initiative Druids... that all cast Summon Nature's Ally III to call in multiple Stirges.


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-102) Schrodinger's Box of kittens. Half the time the kittens are undead.

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