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I am sure by now you are all aware of the vile presence that has possessed the true spirit of Season Nine. This being defies all rational thought and seeks solely to consolidate all of the entries for this season's Superstar competition into a mysterious apparatus called "the Nine".
The combined forces of the Technic League, Technical Support, and the Golarion Union of Murderhoboes for the Betterment of Others (GUMBO) have proven no match for the eldritch fury of Season Nine, as it has already stolen control over our voting tags from the prior seasons!
Desperate times call for desperate measures, which is why I, Tech Support, have announced an Open Call of Recruitment for people to combat the incoming menace. Any and all aliases, PFS characters, and other accounts are invited to post below to pledge their support in combating the menace that has possessed Season Nine.
We cannot do this alone, but together we shall prevail!
UGH. SEASON 9 AM NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE AWAY SECRET SURPRISE "FINAL CULL" TWIST ENDING FOR ROUND 1.
I BLAME HIM DAY JOB EDITING MOVIE TRAILERS.
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The scarred and half naked half-elf fingers one of the points on the spiked chain wrapped about his torso. He leans back on the bit of wall he found while watching the steam from the "cutting room" rise from the chimney...where the chimney troll used to be.
"Tha hell are they up to again in there? If that smoke turns ugly I'm gonna hafta check it out...this is the best nappin' wall in these parts. he mutters to himself.
From Hell's heart I vote at you Season 9!
*Begins Super-Jacob God Level Four Transformation*
I cast Magic Missile at the Darkness!...I mean...Season 9!
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*Begins Super-Jacob God Level Four Transformation*
*smashes his scouter*
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*Begins Super-Jacob God Level Four Transformation**smashes his scouter*
*Continues grunting and transformation*
How can this be, WHAT?!?!?!
My votes are yours
And my 'shrooms!
You have no chance to survive make your time.
*Straps on omnidirectional mobility gear* Lets do this...
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This is really smurfed up guys.
But...hang on. Hang on a second. My tags are unaffected, since I've never voted much in previous years. And you know what? I'm tired of being treated as lesser! My bitterness has festered, like mildew on an old ceiling, and at last you have been brought down within sight of my level. Why shouldn't I simply...
*Stuffs a smurfshroom in Bahbrahb's ear*
...be really unhelpful?
Oh for crying out loud. Now we've got the smurf patrol messing things up. Seriously guys, things are bad enough here without bringing smurfs into it.... aah crap.
Welcome to RPG Smurfstar Season 9! :P
B-b-but... my glorious tags!
I sense an enormous power level in this thread.
All your tags are belong to Nine
Somebody set up us the cull
*Finishing his glorious transformation, now with 4 extra feet of blue hair and a blazing field of energy, Jacob 9001's power beats upon the air, and his voice rings out*
*Thursts his mighty arms into the air and begins forming the Forum Spirit Bomb.*
Like, dude, I'm so psyched for this. I've got my toothbrush and ruler, and I borrowed a shopping bag from that cranky lady next door. Let's do this, man!
Why's that weird short dragon yelling so much...and where did that hair come from?
*A blue globe the size of Large Semi-trailer begins forming over Jacob 9001's Head*
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
But question: Is Jacob 9001's heart pure and innocent? o.O
Buzzes around the crowd, watching and listening intently. Finally having learned to suppress the obsessive compulsion to shout commands at others to 'Watch out' or 'Listen', Navi acts as mobile scout capable of taking account of the combined might of entire armies.
This was of course, until she saw the light. That glowing, haunting sphere of energy that seemed to grow and pulse with life before her very eyes. Drawing closer, she mentally records the potential trajectory, the amount of hearts such an attack would consume, velocity, time. Closer she comes, seeing rivulets of energies and elements unknown flowing along the surface.
"This, this cannot be! This was designed to hurt it, but-- I must warn the others!"
As she beats her wings a final time to turn away, she realizes her error in judgement as the sphere grows again just enough to reach her. The flash consumes her body, turning it to ash as four fairy wings flutter lifelessly to the ground.
Enters to the tune of, "I don't want to set the world on fire..."
Begins setting flames in peoples hearts.
RAWR!
Are you scared yet? No?
RAWR!... How about now?
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SMASH YOUR FACE ON MY FACE
...
...
Angraddammit.... umm, uhhh...
Iomedaemmit!
So I've collected all of the devices that drop Bags of Holding into Portable Holes and vice-versa. I have named it the RiptRiftic Bomb. Worst case scenario, we actually need to use this apparatus.
In the future, I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out in a war fought with the RiptRiftic Bomb. Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the planet will be killed though.
Please do not make me make another.
*scrabbles furiously trying to hold onto his life energy.*
Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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*From the skies, an enormous pirate ship drop to the floor, manning it just one person dressed as a stereotyped pirate, parrot, hook, wooden leg, eyepatch and all*
"Ahoy!, buckos! We be under attack, so climb aboard, grab your cutlass, spells and special abilities and let us give hell t' them on this bleak season! No one rest until t' evil entity that possessed season nine be went t' Davy Jones' locker! "
Hmmm, voter tags seem fixed. Elminister and Drizzitzzzizzit will probably take credit for defeating the machinations of Season of 9.*
All for the best. Jeri Ryan wears the costume better than Dieben. :)
Uh guys...what happened to the first voter tag? I had three Champion tags a little while ago...
I've lost my Season 8 tag it seems.
Uh guys...what happened to the first voter tag? I had three Champion tags a little while ago...
Suuure you did.
I also lost my Season 7 tag. Ah-HA! This was actually the dastardly plot all along! What a twist!
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I have eaten
your voter tags
that were on
your account
and which
showed
how dedicated you were
to voting
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
*From the skies, an enormous pirate ship drop to the floor, manning it just one person dressed as a stereotyped pirate, parrot, hook, wooden leg, eyepatch and all*
"Ahoy!, buckos! We be under attack, so climb aboard, grab your cutlass, spells and special abilities and let us give hell t' them on this bleak season! No one rest until t' evil entity that possessed season nine be went t' Davy Jones' locker! "
"Yarr, the sky pirate 'as our back! Half o' me crew will 'elp man yor' weapons if'n ye' be so inclined. The other 'alf will be on my vessel. We 'ave enough mortars an' artilliary to lay waste from nearly 'alf o' league away. I'll provide yer covering fire, just kill this beastie dead."
