Pirate Captain's page

I'm giving her all I got cap'n

"Aye Scotty; alright, all hands on gunnery! Ready tha' starboard bombards! I want the reloadin' double crewed! Four shots a minute, that's an order! This landlubbin' sack o' scurvy is going to be full o' lead by the time we be done here. Ready! Aim! FIRE!"

*From the skies, an enormous pirate ship drop to the floor, manning it just one person dressed as a stereotyped pirate, parrot, hook, wooden leg, eyepatch and all*

"Ahoy!, buckos! We be under attack, so climb aboard, grab your cutlass, spells and special abilities and let us give hell t' them on this bleak season! No one rest until t' evil entity that possessed season nine be went t' Davy Jones' locker! "

"Yarr, the sky pirate 'as our back! Half o' me crew will 'elp man yor' weapons if'n ye' be so inclined. The other 'alf will be on my vessel. We 'ave enough mortars an' artilliary to lay waste from nearly 'alf o' league away. I'll provide yer covering fire, just kill this beastie dead."

Covent wrote:

Come on guys, don't let go of the puns, lets sea this through!

I'm already givin' 'er all she's got captain!

Then this here talkin' piece be a drownin', yarr.

This thread is halibut the puns lately...

Yarr, ye be reely fishing for that one darr, aye.

Your puns are way out of my league, yarr.

Yarr. I be enterin' an apparatus too. aye.

Yarr, I suppose ye can say yonder crew be gettin' Jiggy with it.

Yarr, I be a'partying o'er my first year o' sobriety. I be a'headed to the closest port to drink m'self silly on yonder wines and ales.

I do this ev'ry yearr as people only be a'willin' to celebrate the first yearr. This is m'secret to having more o' me mates at the same pub at one time, yarr.

Rogar Stonebow wrote:

He also fell when he left Glory seeking out the child of Destiny.

Are child support payments tithe deductible?

In my business, yarr they be.

Arrrrr.

"This text on Removing Oratory Impediments for the Uncultured Lout has shown itself to be quite the boon in largely ridding myself of that wretched pirate dialect I acquired on the high seas, yar."

"'Grats matey, you be the only charactarrr resistant to the wily seduction o' ye fabled kraken, tentacles and spaghetti breakfast yarr."