You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and...


Pathfinder Society

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1/5

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You are gming and forget your laptop with the module on it.


Selvaxri wrote:
Drone wrote:
--The Halfling cleric of Desna's Str score so low that when he attacks he can only do 1 point of damage with his starknife. Oh, and that damage is nonlethal. (This is my brother's PFS character)
My Gnome Sorcerer's damage is so low that his Maximum damage is 1 Non-lethal. [5 Str = 1d3-3 with cestus]

Having a Gnome Sorcerer in the same situation, except with a dagger, I remember being in a combat alone in a room with a single opponent in his first adventure. I color sprayed the poor rogue, closed the door of the small room we were in so no one could interfere, and proceeded to coup de grace him while he was unconscious for 2 point of damage per round. He still had hit points when he came around so it was a race for me to finish the job while he was blind and eventually took him down right before the stun wore off. It took some amazing rolls, considering his melee to hit was -2 or something and my max damage was 1. The other PCs heard the commotion in the other room and wondered what the heck was going on in there. His first and only melee victory. I knew tier 1-2 would be the only chance he'd get.

Shadow Lodge

The monk had a CON of 7.

(True story, albeit the next table over.)

Grand Lodge 3/5

Fred Strauss wrote:
Selvaxri wrote:
Drone wrote:
--The Halfling cleric of Desna's Str score so low that when he attacks he can only do 1 point of damage with his starknife. Oh, and that damage is nonlethal. (This is my brother's PFS character)
My Gnome Sorcerer's damage is so low that his Maximum damage is 1 Non-lethal. [5 Str = 1d3-3 with cestus]
Having a Gnome Sorcerer in the same situation, except with a dagger, I remember being in a combat alone in a room with a single opponent in his first adventure. I color sprayed the poor rogue, closed the door of the small room we were in so no one could interfere, and proceeded to coup de grace him while he was unconscious for 2 point of damage per round. He still had hit points when he came around so it was a race for me to finish the job while he was blind and eventually took him down right before the stun wore off. It took some amazing rolls, considering his melee to hit was -2 or something and my max damage was 1. The other PCs heard the commotion in the other room and wondered what the heck was going on in there. His first and only melee victory. I knew tier 1-2 would be the only chance he'd get.

My Sorcerer's Bloodline is Fey, so his 1 NL damage is more often just an attempted Laughing Touch attempt. But, that's what he has Sorcerer Robes for- TICKLE MISSILES!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

...you're working out the Ranger's 'to hit' and 'damage bonus' before the Ranger's player does. Every. Single. Encounter.


All the other players scheduled for the session call the organizer to say they're running late (to varying degrees).

Then, the scheduled GM does the same. And he'll be latest of all.

And there's a second session that day....

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

"I'm studying the epistemology of science.

"I have "duct tape a dissertation on why he's wrong to karl poppers grave" on my bucket list...

1/5

I did not technically get to the table but the person to unlock the door is not there and many people are standing outside the door. Thankfully the person was ok.


Courtesy of far too many online sessions, including TPKon today:

You get to the table and the GM, while present, hasn't even BEGUN to set up the VTT. "Maybe we'll get started in a half-hour or so... maybe...."

And five minutes in, it's clear he never read the scenario either.

Sovereign Court 4/5 Venture-Captain, Online—VTT aka Imhrail

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Calybos1 wrote:

Courtesy of far too many online sessions, including TPKon today:

You get to the table and the GM, while present, hasn't even BEGUN to set up the VTT. "Maybe we'll get started in a half-hour or so... maybe...."

And five minutes in, it's clear he never read the scenario either.

As mentioned when you brought it up in the discord channel if you have an issue with the conduct of a GM bring up with them privately. If you are unable to resolve the issue escalate it to convention organizers. You've discussed this with one of us already but if you feel the need to discuss more contact one of us either via discord or PM here.

Dark Archive 5/5

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Scenario is going to be in harsk mode.

Dark Archive 4/5

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joe kirner wrote:

Scenario is going to be in harsk mode.

That's when you know it's a win!

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵ Venture-Lieutenant, Online—VTT aka Hels

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Harsk mode? A win surely! :-)

5/5

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joe kirner wrote:
Scenario is going to be in harsk mode.

*recently ran harsk only drunkfinder tome of righteous repose*

The Exchange 5/5 ⦵⦵

andreww wrote:
joe kirner wrote:
Scenario is going to be in harsk mode.
*recently ran harsk only drunkfinder tome of righteous repose*

Sounds like my kind of game!

3/5 Venture-Agent, Canada—Alberta—Grand Prairie aka DM Livgin

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Just finished the weekend convention, a few highlights:

The monk and fighter try to sneak into an ambush position alone, ahead of the rest of the party for a self described 'challenging encounter'.

A lvl 5 Dwarf ranger PC named Harsk, ran by a young player ends up in a high tier 5-9. (He nearly single handedly took down the boss after being one of the 2 characters to save against a mass suggestion, it was heroic).

You shuffle tiers in the multitable special and to make tables work, and end up playing a full caster in a lower tier during a special.

You play a character that has been GM credited for the past 3 levels and realize you never picked up the extra tools of the trade (pathfinder stuff, a way to fly, restoration magic) required for the new level.

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

The noise in the room requires one of your players to read your lips.

Your mustache is set to "soup strainer"


Imhrail wrote:
Calybos1 wrote:

Courtesy of far too many online sessions, including TPKon today:

You get to the table and the GM, while present, hasn't even BEGUN to set up the VTT. "Maybe we'll get started in a half-hour or so... maybe...."

And five minutes in, it's clear he never read the scenario either.

As mentioned when you brought it up in the discord channel if you have an issue with the conduct of a GM bring up with them privately. If you are unable to resolve the issue escalate it to convention organizers. You've discussed this with one of us already but if you feel the need to discuss more contact one of us either via discord or PM here.

Nope, no need. But it's still a strong indicator of a session that will go badly.

1/5

BigNorseWolf wrote:

The noise in the room requires one of your players to read your lips.

Your mustache is set to "soup strainer"

I have this happen to me too often.

1/5

Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
doctor_wu wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

The noise in the room requires one of your players to read your lips.

Your mustache is set to "soup strainer"

I have this happen to me too often.

This is why I shave before conventions.

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

There's scissors on the multitool..

Grand Lodge 5/5

...in one round you are hit by 6 gunshots (two criticals(!)), and the lava attached to you hasn't cooled off yet.

That one took two breath of lifes...

3/5 Venture-Agent, Canada—Alberta—Grand Prairie aka DM Livgin

Trouble after the table; but I did the old salt water test on my dice (have a matching colour coded dice set that I use for playing and GMing, the only dice I use) and found out that my primary d20 was unbalanced, unbalanced towards the 20. Did some quick calculations and figure it's seen about 2000 rolls since I started GMing.

So now it is time to send out some apologies to a great number of players. Everyone said that die crit a lot, I though it was just a negativity bias...

(Of 7 single-colour opaque chessex d20s, only 2 passed my salt test.)

1/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
doctor_wu wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

The noise in the room requires one of your players to read your lips.

Your mustache is set to "soup strainer"

I have this happen to me too often.
This is why I shave before conventions.

I meant having people having trouble hearing me.

Sovereign Court 4/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Netherlands—Leiden aka Ascalaphus

Chomm Skee, M.D. wrote:

...in one round you are hit by 6 gunshots (two criticals(!)), and the lava attached to you hasn't cooled off yet.

That one took two breath of lifes...

I remember that fight.. my GM sighing that "I have three gunslingers and I can't hit anything".

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

The arachnophobe finds a large house spider on them and throws it accross the table...

... to the other arachnophobe.

(don't worry they were safely moved to a nice shadowy corner)

1/5

Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
BigNorseWolf wrote:

The arachnophobe finds a large house spider on them and throws it accross the table...

... to the other arachnophobe.

(don't worry they were safely moved to a nice shadowy corner)

...sounds like the 'opening party' of a certain brick of minis I was at recently...

Shadow Lodge 5/5

>_>

Scarab Sages 4/5 Venture-Captain, Utah—Utah County aka Yasha Vienne

- the man from nowheresville utah goes to BIGcon usa and has no equipment except a pair of green wood 10' poles and "50' of rope cut into varying lengths", and sits at the 5-9 table

- the same man sits at the 1-5 table with 1st level character during a 00 special and has no equipment except an empty cask and a backpack.

- the bard says "i dont do performance or spells"

- the cleric says "i hope everyone has CLW wands"

- the wizard says "so, i sepcialized abjuration. my oppositions are necromancy and evocation"

- the titan mauler dual wielding great swords is the "face of the group"

- that wierd asian guy who has been silent the whole time says "wait I have THE solution!"

Scarab Sages 4/5 Venture-Captain, Utah—Utah County aka Yasha Vienne

doctor_wu wrote:
Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
doctor_wu wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

The noise in the room requires one of your players to read your lips.

Your mustache is set to "soup strainer"

I have this happen to me too often.
This is why I shave before conventions.
I meant having people having trouble hearing me.

::.rolls up character sheet like a listening cone.:: HUH??!! ROLLS AND CRUTONS!?? ... OH! NO THANKS I GOT PIZZA BEFORE I GOT HERE!

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Tony Ting wrote:
doctor_wu wrote:
Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
doctor_wu wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

The noise in the room requires one of your players to read your lips.

Your mustache is set to "soup strainer"

I have this happen to me too often.
This is why I shave before conventions.
I meant having people having trouble hearing me.
::.rolls up character sheet like a listening cone.:: HUH??!!

Ooh! Pour a carton of milk in it and make it disappear!

1/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You return from the bathroom and the topic of conversation is 90's corn nut advertising jingles.

Sovereign Court 5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Missouri—Cape Girardeau

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BigNorseWolf wrote:

The arachnophobe finds a large house spider on them and throws it accross the table...

... to the other arachnophobe.

(don't worry they were safely moved to a nice shadowy corner)

Why did you move the Arachnophobes into the corner?

(Asked by someone who can't even stand minis of spiders.)

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

Exposure therapy!

1/5

Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Not cool.

4/5 RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16 aka dien

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...you sit down at the table a little early, to finish leveling up your fighter and realize that, as everyone is discussing who they are bringing, literally no one can activate a CLW wand, let alone cast a heal spell. You surreptitiously put one of your new skill points into UMD, putting it at a +3. You are the sole healer for that adventure, and nat 1 two of the table's 6 wands. (But at least everyone had wands.)

...you sit down to play Tomb of the Iron Medusa with a table of three other PCs-- a monk, a rogue, and a bard. You have your same fighter, just older now. (We actually did pretty well but holy crap did our bard burn a ton of scrolls, as the only caster.)

...your unarmed, unarmored gnome paladin/sorcerer is the tank. (Bit of a red herring, since I actually built him to tank quite well at that level, but I imagine that it provided a moment of worrying what for other players there)

...you are the organizer and are running out of 'easy' 1-5 scenarios to schedule for the tightly-knit group of three quasi-new players of whom two have severe trouble adjusting to the increasing complexity of higher level play, or even the challenges of things like being prepared to deal with darkness, etc.

...you are the organizer and are running out of things for your other players to play, period.

Sovereign Court 4/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Netherlands—Leiden aka Ascalaphus

Dana Huber wrote:

...you are the organizer and are running out of 'easy' 1-5 scenarios to schedule for the tightly-knit group of three quasi-new players of whom two have severe trouble adjusting to the increasing complexity of higher level play, or even the challenges of things like being prepared to deal with darkness, etc.

...you are the organizer and are running out of things for your other players to play, period.

Have you heard of the session tracker that one of the people in our lodge developed to assist with these scheduling problems?

4/5 RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16 aka dien

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Yep, and I'm familiar with it and also developed my own for local play. It's just that it doesn't solve the issue of many people having either played nearly everything (among the more experienced players) and trying to find a table that everyone can get credit for, or being really likely to party wipe (for our less system-mastery newer players) if faced with anything that their standard tactics haven't worked on so far.

Shadow Lodge 5/5

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...the GM for your table of the special arrives late, without any maps, and begins running from a copy on his phone.

1/5

Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

...a long-running and trusted GM for your group says "Oh, I'm just running this off a Post-It note, it's all I need to run this thing."


This week, the local GM has brought his big toy tub -- the one that you know contains his gargantuan and colossal minis.

Shadow Lodge 5/5

Ooo, I love when I get to bring those out.

Liberty's Edge 1/5

...stares with a thousand-yard stare to some point in the distance, shaking a bit....

Shadow Lodge 5/5

3 people marked this as a favorite.

You knew what you were getting into.

Liberty's Edge 3/5 Venture-Captain, Nebraska—Omaha

Ward Davis wrote:

Trouble after the table; but I did the old salt water test on my dice (have a matching colour coded dice set that I use for playing and GMing, the only dice I use) and found out that my primary d20 was unbalanced, unbalanced towards the 20. Did some quick calculations and figure it's seen about 2000 rolls since I started GMing.

So now it is time to send out some apologies to a great number of players. Everyone said that die crit a lot, I though it was just a negativity bias...

(Of 7 single-colour opaque chessex d20s, only 2 passed my salt test.)

How do you do that test?

5/5 Venture-Agent, Netherlands—Utrecht aka Quentin Coldwater

Gary Bush wrote:
Ward Davis wrote:

Trouble after the table; but I did the old salt water test on my dice (have a matching colour coded dice set that I use for playing and GMing, the only dice I use) and found out that my primary d20 was unbalanced, unbalanced towards the 20. Did some quick calculations and figure it's seen about 2000 rolls since I started GMing.

So now it is time to send out some apologies to a great number of players. Everyone said that die crit a lot, I though it was just a negativity bias...

(Of 7 single-colour opaque chessex d20s, only 2 passed my salt test.)

How do you do that test?

Warm water (to make the salt dissolve more easily) and lots of salt to change the density of the water. The dice should be able to float on the water at some point. Then spin the d20 while it's floating. If it's truly random, the dice should land at different faces. If it's weighted, the same number tends to pop up more often (as that side's lighter, or the other side is heavier).

Check this link for a visual how-to. As you see, the weighted dice really keep rolling back to one side, and make unnatural-looking leaps while doing so. I always try to fish out my clear dice, because those can't hide the visual imperfections and are usually more fair.

3/5 Venture-Agent, Canada—Alberta—Grand Prairie aka DM Livgin

Ya, all my opaque dice were too heavy to float so I just rolled them in salt water, hoping that the buoyancy would magnify any flaws. I rolled one dice in salt water 50 times, and got 6 (I think, don't have my notes with me) 20s. More than average but not impossible from chance alone. But 46 of the 50 rolls had results on the 20 side of the die... Strong evidence that the die had a flaw.

4/5

When as the GM you're rolling a bunch of nat 20s on attack rolls but can't roll above a 5 on saving throws. It averages out, but I was scaring players to death that day. Critical hits with energy drain touch attacks ...

Sovereign Court 4/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Netherlands—Leiden aka Ascalaphus

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I've heard it said that a very large percentage of polyhedral dice aren't properly weighted, even the transparent ones.

Grand Lodge 5/5 Regional Venture-Coordinator, Eastern Eurasia-Africa

This is why I don't allow people to roll their D20s in warmed/salted water at any table I GM.

Want to know if your dice is biased in actual use? roll it 1,000,000 times and track the results.

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