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288. You are awoken by a black tom cat siting on your chest and licking your face. You have a splitting headache it’s the crack of noon you are in a strange room lying next to an incredibly beautiful woman. The last thing you remember is having half a mug of ale at the tavern last night. Your new wife (LE Tifling Sorc1 fiendish bloodline) awakens and insists it’s time to quit being sutch a stick in the mud and leave town and meet the rest of her party you cute little Hunnybunny.
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289. Your parents had always been distant. Summers with your Aunt and Uncle and sending you to the Academy/Orphanage in town while they traveled to much larger cities and nations but on the day of your age of majority they called you into the living room, gave you a sword, a pouch of gold, and said "Leave. Now." They wouldn't acknowledge you after that.
285. Town? What town? There has never been any town here. More's the pity. It's not easy being an awakened badger and growing up. It's hard and no one understands. You haven't had a decent conversation in months. You have to go find another druid or a ranger or a wizard who habitually prepares speak with animals or something before you go mad.
You weren't offered a chance to playtest a beta of a world-altering spell called 'SBURB', were you?
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291. your dear mother scraped together all she had (or ever would have) to send you, her only son to a boarding school in the city. You studied for 5 years, visited occasionally and sent letters home often. Now that your wizard training is over you sent a final message to her and signed on with a caravan for the journey. This morning you arrived to find your mother, face down in the cellar of your home, her throat slit. Her silver ring with the fire opal was missing, finger and all, while in clenched in her other hand was your last letter, freshly stained with blood and tears.
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290. They ran out of ale.
292. Prohibition has come to town. The local padre had decreed that alcohol is 'the devil's brew' and a source of only wickedness, proclaiming his intent to rid the community of this vile temptation. You and many other townsfolk cheered halfheartedly as he smashed the last barrels of ale and set fire to the only tavern in town. The next day, his new list of proclamations posted in the town square also mentioned 'premarital sex' as one of the 'evils' that the town must purge itself of.
You're not the only young man who quietly packed his things and left in the following week...
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293. You hit a guard in the knee while practicing with your bow.
294. You were chased out of town by an angry mob for making an "arrow-to-the-knee" joke.
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295. a few nights ago some giant fire beetles attacked; nothing you and the town guard couldn't handle. The cap'n said at the end of the week, when you were all off shift he'd buy the first round at the tavern. You haven't seen much of him the last few nights but as you stride into the bar you notice he doesn't look too well and he keeps itching his pale, cracked skin. Finally, as you raised that first round high to toast your commander, he doubled over and then exploded, transforming into a giant centipede, alongside several other sickly patrons.
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295a.) Your plan to infiltrate the town has worked! Once you and your centipedic brethren-in-fangs have massacred the tavernsnacks, it's time to take over the place and inject all kinds of offspring.
Then, of course, the inevitable arrival of more "incubators" that must be dealt with...
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I love the twist TtM, but this is a thread about LEAVING town. You want to post your awesomely awesome idea in the STAYING IN TOWN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD thread. Next thread over.
I love the twist TtM, but this is a thread about LEAVING town. You want to post your awesomely awesome idea in the STAYING IN TOWN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD thread. Next thread over.
Your centipedic offspring are leaving down. Vermin don't generally have longish lifespans... ;)
Speaking of which ...
296.) You have amnesia and a seriously nasty case of perpetual heartburn. Time to go to the next town over and check in to see if there's some bandits you can "deal with" to pay the chirurgeon to deal with this problem.
295b)There is no more prey in this town. Time to move on.
296: A big sign of the wall says "MORDOR NEEDS YOU!"
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297. They rename your town Stormwind and set up a bank and an auction house right across from each other.
298. Your cousin is of marrying age and his/her part of the family tree doesn't fork.
299. a dingo...ate your baby?
300. to attack the darkness
301. A double has taken your place and no-one believes you're the real you!
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302. There comes a time when everyone must leave their homes; this is your time, according to your parents. After living in their basement for 32 years (you had to dig a basement out under their hut), they're finally kicking you out and throwing your couch out onto the side of the road.
There were a lot of memories made on that couch...its where you received your first kobold STD.
304. Uncontrollable flatulance
305. The bard troupe you travel with is moving on
306. Seven years ago you were marked for death by the unholy horde of the Beldam Knot. Every so often they catch up with you and lay waste to everything in their path trying to make you join their undying legion. You've learned to read the signs though; the unnaturally cold breeze, the scent of death it carries and the men in the tavern suddenly casting down their mugs as they're filled with blood. When night falls they'll be among you. Time to make yourself scarce once more.
307: In RL, my home was overtaken by a rezoning that raised the taxes, a lot. Then a storm pealed back the tin roof. The cellar flooded up to the fuse box. I had to move. My sister sold the house. In other words, your home became unlivable, and you could not afford a house in town.
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308. Your bunk was in the hayloft above the stables. Last night you forgot to blow out the lantern before bedding down, and you must have kicked it over in your sleep.
It's something of a minor miracle that you woke up and stumbled to safety with only minor burns, but half the town burned to the ground during the night and come morning, you heard some townsfolk putting together that the fire seemed to start at the stables.
You hear the coast is lovely this time of year, and that they recruit sailors right off the docks...
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@G squared: sorry dude. I got flooded out of a house once but we were able to salvage it thank god. I hope everything's worked out since and if not, then I just wish all the best for you.
309. I drank what?
310. A traveling wizard stopped in your tiny village and was snowed in over the winter. He admitted he was barely more than an apprentice himself and incapable of controling the weather or merely flying away, but as the weeks and months went by he seemed to grow to like the place. He taught you a few tricks and did what he could to help the village and earn his keep.
You thanked him, smiled...and then fried him to a crisp before he could learn your darkest secrets. Now, armed with the skills he gave you the journey out of this dump begins in earnest; down the mountains and south to where real power can be yours!
318. A famous artist claims to have painted several sensual portraits of famous adventurers and will be auctioning them off in a week. You immediately think of Seoni, who had once saved your town. Time to earn some gold!
...Unfortunately, the portraits were of Valeros and Alain...together.
319. Your new (and small) Guild need more publicity.
@G squared: sorry dude. I got flooded out of a house once but we were able to salvage it thank god. I hope everything's worked out since and if not, then I just wish all the best for you.
I moved, I survived, got a part time job, ect...
The bottom line is, games such as this and Farmville take my mind off a cruel and arbitrary reality.320: You are an entity from a heck universe. You have taken over a youth who was squandering their potential by slaving under a monsters regime. You and your party of fellow walk ins are setting out to take the fight to them in the name of Fun!
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321. While all these kids end up leaving because they're cursed or come of age, you're happy working the family farm and wooing the cute girl across from your place. You really think about settling down with her, but, unbeknownst to you, another one of these cursed kids just turned 15 and the Dark Riders of Amenor are on their way. They ride into town killing everyone in their path, including your parents and the cute girl. Grabbing your pitchfork from the barn, you manage to fell one of the riders. You decide to question him first before killing him. He obligingly tells you about the cursed youth and how the riders have sworn to slay him before he becomes the Chosen One, destined to save the world. You don't care about any of that horsepoop and in your anger, you kill the rider and take his armor and horse. While the other riders continue attacking the town, you decide to take out your anguish on the person who really deserves it.
322) You didn't hear about the first 100 reasons to leave town until reason 323
323) You don't want to wait to because reason 324 is coming to a town near you!
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324) The infamous wendigo Grandfather Death is coming ...
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321. While all these kids end up leaving because they're cursed or come of age...
Ha! I like this one, playing off of the other ideas!
325) On his deathbed, your grandfather told you of your destiny. Every generation, a member of your bloodline has held the town together against a great evil concealed within its history, and with the passing of your father (and his own impending death), you must be made ready for the next Dark Conjunction, when the evil will attempt once more to break free into this world, only to be held back for another generation by the lifetime of training and selfless dedication of your chosen bloodline.
You took a hard look at the ramshackle decrepit buildings worn with age, the endless gray depressing drizzle, the mangy rats lurking in the alleys, the all-too-familiar muddy streets with their reeking channels of wastewater and the pox-faced inbred dead-enders for which you were 'fated' to dedicate your entire life to saving from this buried evil, and thought to yourself, 'Why don't these idiots just move somewhere where there *isn't* a buried evil?'
And then you smiled, and the next day you were on the road, having taken your own advice to just walk away from this terrible bit of real estate, and whatever crappy 'destiny' had been dumped in your lap.
As you crested the hill, and the village passed from view, it was as if a great weight was lifted and you reminded yourself that the Age of Prophecy has ended. Your fate is your own to make.
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327) You left your heart in old Korvosa. No, really. Some psychotic freak Academae student passing through your village yanked your heart out of your chest, showing off some forbidden magic as an object lesson to some locals who were giving him lip. The only reason he picked you is because you happened to be within arm's reach, at the time, you weren't even one of the drunken louts mouthing off, you were just 'an example' to scare them.
You woke up later, a gaping hole in your chest, alive and, apparently, unharmed, for the most part. Bystanders told you that he'd gotten on his black steed and rode off, having tucked your heart into his robe.
You can still feel it, far away to the east, and now you are headed for Korvosa, to get your heart back.
330) What town? Looks like a dump to me.
332) The General Store just changed its name to S Mart and that new clerk has a very peculiar prosthetic arm.
333) The locals have finally figured out the Three Card Monte game.
334) You finally realized that you aren't the world's tallest halfling, and are off to find your titan parents.
335) You are a halfling and are tired of people asking if your mommy is nearby.
336. You got Shanghaied.
337. the town elder held his annual apprentice choosing - sadly you were not chosen, despite his obvious interest in you. But then he gave you an important mission: to return a baby to it's rightful people.
338. because since adolesence the "change" has come on and now claws appear on your hands whenever you get mad and your fingers shoot flames.
339. the voices started when you visited that old Pharasmin shrine near the cairns of the Old Ones. Soon after you began losing things - small objects, tools, even the pouch of coins your mother gave you to pay the miller. Now you have constant dreams and nightmares about the dead rising and spirits haunting the living.
340. because a crazy old codger stood on a stump and started screaming that the streets will run red with the blood of the non-believers.
341. The town elder has chosen you to be his new apprentice, and you've heard the screams and seen the blank stares of his previous apprentices.
342. Grandma needs her basket of goodies, and all you have to wear is your red cloak.
343. The King, who is so wise in the ways of science, would like you to join his quest.
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57. If you're a cross eyed pegasus pony, move to a game world where a small rider can handle your stearing problem. (Yes, I'm making fun of people trying to ponyize Pathfinder. What of it?)
344. An insane moon spirit is about to escape its prison and bring about eternal night, and your ruler isn't taking your warnings seriously. And all the people in this town are crazy!
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345. Your resume needs building.
346. Military life seemed like a good idea at the time.
347. It builds character. Or so your parents say after you've tried milking the bull for the third time.
348. Your friends have always been sociopathic degenerates and you've always been the voice of reason. So when they decide to go adventuring, you decide to tag along to make sure that some poor peasants don't get run through.
349. Some cowardly knight hired some minstrels. Sometimes being a bard seems like a bad career choice.
350. You haven't tried everything to get your cutie mark.
351. In search of the unknown
352. to get to the Keep on the borderlands
353. because some weird aliens need help saving the Silver princess
354. trying to get past the Isle of dread before the storm hits
355. Because it's there.
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356. A Wizard and his 13 Dwarven friends need help with a dragon...
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358. IN A WORLD where the land is blanketed by darkness, where villains prey upon the weak and where the people cry out for justice, ONE man has the courage to stand against the forces of evil. You ARE that man...
359. Because they took everything. Everything you knew and loved. While the evil ones gloated and the fires raged you had to watch it all. Then they left you for dead. Three days in a hole in the ground, clawing you way up through the slime and the smoldering heat; even through the bodies. But you were alive, barely, fueled on soley by the image of the master; a smile dancing on his face as he gave the order: "EXECUTE them."
360. b/cause your father was imprisoned for being a debtor and working deals with enemies of the state while your mother and family squandered your birthright leaving you and your young son no choice but to steal your father's ship and set sail to start anew; and your name was Bluth.
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358. IN A WORLD where the land is blanketed by darkness, where villains prey upon the weak and where the people cry out for justice, ONE man has the courage to stand against the forces of evil. You ARE that man...
In an inversion.
361. IN A WORLD where the land is blanketed by darkness, where villains prey upon the weak and where the people cry out for justice, ONE man has the courage to stand against the forces of evil. You ARE NOT that man...
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358. IN A WORLD where the land is blanketed by darkness, where villains prey upon the weak and where the people cry out for justice, ONE man has the courage to stand against the forces of evil. You ARE that man...
In an inversion.
361. IN A WORLD where the land is blanketed by darkness, where villains prey upon the weak and where the people cry out for justice, ONE man has the courage to stand against the forces of evil. You ARE NOT that man...
362. ...but you are, unfortunately, his sidekick.
262a) ... what's worse is that you're the comic relief sidekick as compared to the cool butt kicking sidekick. Yep, you're ... The Semi-Useless Kid.