100 reasons to leave town

Homebrew and House Rules

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263) Most folk have never seen the world beyond their village. You are not most folk.

264) You really did not expect an answer when you loudly and drunkenly announced "Give me one good reason why I should leave"? You only meant the tavern!

265) Piece of advice, when the wizard says don't touch ... DON"T!

266) You're an elf, you really don't want to spend another night sleeping with that wizard and more importantly that festering lot of dwarven companions he's traveling with. You are very tired of dwarven drinking songs, especially ones involving bawdy dragons and elvish maidens.

267. You're an elvish maiden, and just heard the dwarven drinking songs about bawdy dragons.

268. The First Annual Blonde Haired Bimbo Convention is being held on Dragon Island and you can't wait to attend.

269. But is was only supposed to be a three hour cruise.

270. Becoming a lich is a lot more appealing than farming radishes.

271. Becoming a lich seems like an excellent way to be able to deal with bawdy dragons and the annoying dwarves.

272. You've always wondered why grandma's house is over the river and through the woods.

273. Your eidolon molested some one while you weren't looking.

274. Your eidolon ATE some one after molesting them while you weren't looking.

275. You lost 'The Bet'.

276. The Mayor has ordered the construction of a Wicker Man in front of Town Hall. You're not liking the name plates being engraved nearby at the whitesmith's shop.

277. Even the smartest people in the town can't count to one hundred.

Uninvited Ghost wrote:
277. Even the smartest people in the town can't count to one hundred.

This does contain 100 reasons to leave town. And another 100 reasons. And another 77 after that. But that does not mean it does not have 100 reasons.

Dragonborn3 wrote:
303.) You have a pig named Hen Pen and the Horned King is after her.

My very first D&D character was called Taran. That was 24 years ago, "sniff" memories...

Dark Archive

278. You went out into the woods to collect firewood, and got turned around. You have no idea which way town is!

279. Your family suggested a fun game of hide and seek, and drove you way out into the badlands and told you to go hide.

You've been hiding a long time now, and you're getting hungry. Aren't they supposed to be seeking you?

280. your a spawn of rovagug and they have an indestructible cage over a lava pit with your name on it.

281. You've been challenged to a walkoff and lost

282. you've been hired to guard a (yawn) caravan

283. (yawn bigger) you meet some fellows in a bar and (so sleepy) a merchant hirres you toooo hunt...for...treassssuuurrrreeeee...


284. (sorry, passed out from overly-used tropes) your master, the brilliant but absent minded wizard Flamdroth crafted a golem in the middle of a thunderstorm; now his tower is in flames, the golem is loose in the town and since the angry mob can only find you...

285. Every seven years the Beast of a Thousand Fangs comes for a member of your family; as a child your father disappeared, in your teens your brother was claimed and now it falls to you. However an oracle has arrived and claims to have a way to keep you safe; will you trust her?

286: A drinking song about a dragon and a unicorn is going around town. Hearing it once was far too many times. :)

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287. You see that Justin Bugbear is coming to town on his summer concert tour.

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388. The townsfolk miscounted again and you're pretty sure you should've left town a long time ago.

389. Your aspirations to become one of the tri-state areas most feared necromancers are dulled by the fact that there are only 9 people living in your town. Jimmy, the apprentice necromancer living two towns over, already has 76 1/4 minions.

390. Your neighbours have started to compile a list of reasons why you should leave town. And they've several hundred of them already.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

391. War

392. Famine

393. Pestilence

394. Pickled Herring (gotcha!)

395. you thought it'd be cool to take an ancient red dragon trapped in a black hole and throw him in your master's bag of holding, just to see what happened.

396. Because that's where the map points

397. a ring of fire elemental summoning didn't help you win the bake off

398. because you would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling teenagers and their dog

399. First the village of Norv was consumed by fire; then Yalma and finally Evrenathross. Looking at a map they form a straight line from The Demon Crag to your town and in the ashes of each your name appears

400. As your bride came into view at the far end of the churchyard a chill wind roiled the fall leaves and clouds covered the sun. From the nearby cemetery a shrieking whinny was heard and a creature, half humanoid and half horse bearing a terrible scythe in its rotten hand lurched up out of a grave, it's glowing red eyes fixed on your betrothed. You ran as fast as you could but the thing was faster and you could smell the charnel decay of the pit as it scooped up your Isabelle and laid her across the saddlehorn. Behind you other graves began to erupt with the bodies of the restless dead but your only thought was on the unliving villain speeding west, into the gathering mists of the distant woods.


401. You've clogged the newly introduced sewage system, and caused the entire town to be flooded with feces. It's only a matter of time before they trace it back to your cottage.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

402. Some kind of spirit wandered in and possessed you. Instead of doing anything interesting, however, it just took a nap in your head. Now a paladin's come to town and, apparently, that spirit is making you detect as evil...

1 person marked this as a favorite.

403. A number of itinerant adventurers have already smashed all the barrels, checked in all the pots and opened all of the treasure chests. Your financial prospects look dim here.

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404. Because tomorrow you are supposed to undergo the ritual of "Carrousel."

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405. You are a sandman, and you can't have runners coming back to convince others to leave.

406. 15 assassination attempts against you can't be a coincidence.

407. Your tumor is leaving with or without you.

408. You just won a major contest based on freelance writing talent and the local hacks are out for blood.

409. Your tar and feathers wardrobe clashes with your complexion ... and it itches too.

410. Mister Rodgers' Neighborhood is a whole different concept when Mister Rodgers is the alias of a 20th level Gunslinger. You just wizzed in his bird bath...

411.) the next town has fun-houses with people who are attractive.

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412.) You've popped 5 bouncy castles, and the rental company is looking for you.

413) Mom is finally making you move out of her basement.

414. The townsfolk really don't like your pet dragon.

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415. Your pet dragon got the healer's unicorn preggers.

416. Your pet dragon doesn't like you

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417. Your pet Dragon pregged the healer, the healer said the dragon is a better lover than you.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

418. your pet dragon pregged YOU, the problem...he did it at the school where the children could see :(

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419. The menagerie of horny dragons in this town is simply too much to bear.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

419. Your pet dragon is preggers and has eaten everything in a 300 mile radius.

Scarab Sages

421. You hear there's a menagerie of horny dragons a few miles east of here, and dragon horns are worth a fortune.

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421a. When you get to the menagerie, you find out what they meant by "horny".

422. Coal gas leaking out of the ground is an afrodesiac(sp) for dragons, but it gives people black lung. Leave town while you can still walk.

423. A body at rest will tend to remain at rest unless acted on by an outside force. You're were body at rest until a necromancer acted on you.

Aphrodisiac, Goth Guru. :) Nice one!

Wow, I can't leave you horny dragon lovers alone for 1 weekend... ;)

424. because all your base belong to us

425. vengeance

426. justice

427. because there's a bad man out there right now, and he's going to hurt a lot of people. You have to power to stop him. It's time to go to work.

428. because all the paintings here talk to you and people's faces look twisted and warped.

429. because when the local barbarians came to town last to trade a few months back, Brak's wife took a real interest in you; now a war party's been spotted riding hard for the town

430. as it was foretold by the prophecy...

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431. a bunch bunch of bad men took your daughter, and you have a certain set of skills...skills that make you a nightmare for men like them.

Dark Archive

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432. Let me explain. No, that would take too long. Let me sum up. A man with six fingers on his left hand killed your father. You must find him and help him prepare to die.

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433. your wife got a job in a castle on the coast and now you have go meet her there to sign some writ to dissolve your marriage officially; just in case you bring your crossbow and when you get there you plan to take off all your armor and walk around in one of the bathrooms barefoot.

434. one your partners from the old days shows up and tells you that a bunch of ladies of ill-repute just got cut up; the town has rallied around them and a powerful reward has been offered for the perpetrators. Your hog farm needs money badly...

435. you were wounded in battle but miraculously survived; for that the people of your village called you cursed by devils and drove you from your home. Now a man with the accent of your country and dressed as a fancy lad shows up claiming his heritage is from many foreign lands and vows to train you for the coming Gathering of the Immortals, of whom you and he are both members.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

436. Some guy has just stopped the Clockwork Soldier that is trying to kill you, but the Clockwork is getting back up, and the guy has just said "Come with me if you want to live."

437. The Clockwork that tried to kill you earlier has just returned and says, "Come with me if you want to live."

438. Random people keep walking up to you saying, "Come with me if you want to live."

439. a gang of bandits outside town are threatening the town you and your partner "Goose" are the sheriffs of. The bandits are looking for energon crystals to fuel mythic mounts everyone uses but which have grow scarce in a dystopian society. Your boss "fifi" tries to put you out to pasture but you've still got a job to do.

440. same dystopian land; a group in town is looking for a driver crazy enough to haul a wagon-load of energon through the wilderness.

441. yet more dystopia; a band of kids and a wayward pilot of a mythic flying machine need a guard to help them fly away. Since you tried to cheat your way into winning a bout at the Thunderdome and gain your freedom from Bartertown and got tossed out on the back of a donkey anyway, you've got nothing better to do...

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442. When single shines the triple sun, what was sundered and undone, shall be whole; the 2 made one...also, garthim attack.

443. The same day you met a nice old hermit in the wilds outside your farm the place was blown to smithereens with your aunt and uncle inside; there's nothing left here for you now.

444. to complete your training

445. to rescue a friend from behing held captive by a mob boss

446. 2 words: road trip!

447. an invitation delivered by owl to attend some pig farmer school of wizardry...

448. your friend, a brilliant alchemist, has just shown you how adding a certain rare extract to a horse golem can make it run so fast it can travel in time. Moments later a cult of zealots seeking the extract ambushes you and the "Doc" as he calls himself, killing him right in front of you.

449. you're a transporter; the best in the business

450. to attend the kumite and honor your dying master, Senzo Tanaka.

451. Some Fancy Dan named Clint Eastwood comes into town looking for the tinker named Doc. Says he's here to stop the leader of the worst gang you ever heard of from shooting Doc. Well, if that gang is coming to town, you're leaving.

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452. because no mere mortal can resist the evil of the Thriller

453. to go looking for Dave. You looked all over town, but Dave aint here

454. because the truth is out there

455. You just woke up a few weeks ago. You don't remember anything but apparently you've been under the care of Abadaran healers for 5 years. All they could tell you is that you've been "sleeping" since they found you on their doorstep. You've worked you body back to form, taken up the belongings the clergy kept for you (a sword, some ragged armor and a fresh set of clothes) and are trying desperately to remember anything. All you have to go on is that your clothes were wet when you were found and every morning you wake with the scent of the sea in your lungs; the nearest coast is 50 miles from here.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

456. Your name is Dave, and you've heard some guy is looking for you.

457. You are trying to find the way to San Jose.

458. You went to the Redneck Comedy Tour show, and realized that it is actually a documentary about your town.

459. You are hungry for some Hasenpfeffer and a large white rabbit just ran by saying it is late.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

460. to track down a little girl sent to deliver goodies to her granny through a dark, wolf-infested wood seven hours ago.

461. some knucklehead tossed some fairy beans in his back yard, now there's a gargantuan vine leading into the clouds; a known invasion route for giants.

462. to take down a foolish boy, born with an immunity to fear, who wandered off to find something to be afraid of and ended up unleashing every nightmarish horror he could find in the process to plague the town.

463. a cruel and twisted fey princess has been luring men to a well in the woods, turning them into frogs, then absconding through the well to gods know where; only one has managed to escape and promises to lead you through her nightmare kingdom

464. to hunt down a witch poisoning every pretty girl w/in a hundred miles of her castle to ensure she's the "fairest of them all"; your wife was one of the ones who choked to death on the toxin.

465. to slay gretel: a little girl who survived a witches clutches a decade ago, only to now have disappeared. Since she wandered back into the woods little boys have gone missing from the town.

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466. Your a member of a golem swarm and you are tired of your creator always wanting you to do one billionth of a chore.

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467. You didn't always dwell here. Once, you dwelt among the air-suckers, in the above place. A quartet of them broke in recently to disturb the master (they always seem to do this) but something different happened this time; they succeeded.

Now the master's voice no longer guides you and gives purpose to your rotting bones. What's worse, without his loving protections the air-suckers will return, this time for you. Though you no longer count time something has stirred in your unbeating heart; fear.

But there's something more. Alongside the fear is a longing. You have these vague, far-off thoughts; the master referred to them as memories. You remember tiny bits of the above place, like some bright light and noises that used to bring you joy, or the smell of rain which is not unlike the dank earthen musk of your current home.

Call it longing, self-preservation, or simply lack of any other purpose, but you know you must leave this place. The air-suckers left one of the master's hidden caches untouched. Though you were forbidden from removing his property for your own, now that he is gone you see no need to follow his dictums. Arming yourself with the master's things you shamble up, out of the dark into the above place...

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468. To go hunt down the wolves.
469. To go hunt down the wolves.
470. To go hunt down the wolves.
471. To go hunt down the jerk that keeps yelling wolf.

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