Last one to post wins

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What's all this hoï polloï crowding MY winning thread ?

When will you all understand that the win must be mine ?

The gods of gnomish might will validate me in the end.

Sovereign Court


*Silently blows a raspberry at Quiche Lisp.*


Tra la la...



Sovereign Court

*Goes to rip out the vocal chords of Pulg's Fairy Operatic Tenor.*

*Only to see Pulg do it first (for some reason).*

1 person marked this as a favorite.

That's what he gets for singing in G-Flat instead of A-Minor

Well, he's due for a refit. Once every 10,000 melismata is generally the rule.

As for doing 'Barbie Girl' in A Minor, go ahead. We're probably overdue a mopey Emo slowed-down piano and undernourished singing waif version.

Sovereign Court

*Everyone receives a postcard entitled "Out in Town."*

Hi again, followers of Wally,

After such a hectic time partying with a vampire and other nasties, I decided to take a more peaceful stroll into the centre of town. However, there's still plenty of chaos happening here; people driving down a one way street (the wrong way), escaped animals from a pet shop and even a fountain statue causing trouble! Hopefully, you will still be able to find me and my friends.

*The scene shows the middle of an old English town, with Wally enjoying a cup of tea at a small café and Count Reiner Heydrich is walking along the path wearing sunglasses and holding a parasol (the scene is set during the day).*

Sovereign Court

A pale pink sunshade, held up high. And around his ankle was a big black chain, and draggin’ on the chain was a big black ball.
Ring a ding ding ding. Ring ding ding.

Sovereign Court

The when wrote:

A pale pink sunshade, held up high. And around his ankle was a big black chain, and draggin’ on the chain was a big black ball.

Ring a ding ding ding. Ring ding ding.

Will you please stop "ring a dinging", and help me get rid off this blasted thing!

And give GoatToucher back his sunshade, Jambi doesn't tan, he crisps!

I believe Americans call them 'chips'

Sovereign Court

*Sarcastic laughter.*

I mean that Jambi suffers from sunburn very easily.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Hee Hee Hee!
Boy, Mr. Grinch and I had so much fun this weekend.
No one escaped unscathed.
Of course, he is still did a whole lot more than me.

Sovereign Court

Right you are, Schism, twas a lot of good fun!

*Sees that the letterbox is full of letters and a couple of parcels.*

Looks like we've got some catching up to do!

*Empties the letterbox, most of it is anonymous death threats (so, nothing new).*

Here you go, Schism, this one is for you.

*Passes Schism one of the parcels, opens the other.*

Aha! The new Golden Serpent Snow Globe that I ordered, excellent!

*Notices a couple of postcards.*

What have we here?

*Takes a closer look at the postcards (one is labelled "Heydrich House Party" and the other is "Out in Town").*

They're from Wally (off on another fantastic journey I see!)

*Gives the postcards to Schism to look at.*

What do you think, Schism, think you can find everyone in these pictures?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Opens the parcel the wrong way.
Oh! A pipe bomb.

Looks everywhere
But there is no card.
I don't know who to send a thankyou note to.

Looks at the postcards.
I see Mr. Wally in all of them, and Mr. Heydrich in one of them.
I see many people I don't know in the rest of them.

Hmm. Well, that's Cher, and, goodness me - who's next to her, but Cher! And behind Cher, look who it is - Cher!

Sovereign Court

You might say: “It’s Cher, and Cher alike.”

Sovereign Court

That explains the challenge of finding people "Cher-ing" at the "Heydrich House Party."

*Looks at postcards in more intense detail.*

OK, I've found everyone, and I'll write down where they are:

Wenda: in the first postcard "Heydrich House Party", she's hidden behind the trio of dragonmaids being bothered by a werewolf. And in the second postcard "Out in Town", she is among a crowd of people crossing the road (plus a zebra).

Woof: in the first postcard, he is hidden behind a bongo drum of Pulg's Fairy Bongo Band (his tail is poking out from behind the drum). And in the second postcard, he is in pet shop (amid other dogs, with all but his tail being shown).

Wizard Whitebeard: in the first postcard, he is drinking with some witches (being partially obscured by a couple of skeletons). And in the second postcard, he is behind the fountain (which is spraying water at some passers-by).

Odlaw: in the first postcard, he is among a group of zombie waiters. And in the second postcard, he is beside a flower stall (where he is being attacked by a plant, along with a nearby bystander, after picking a rose).

Also, I've found the mystery traveller that appears in every scene.

We're a bongo band, not a bonzo band. Get that dog out of here!

Sovereign Court

He was just walking by, anyway, the party has been over for a few days now.

Sovereign Court

That’s what you think. This party never dies!

Yeah! Rock on, Mothra-flickers!

Sovereign Court

Double Mullet Denim Dude wrote:
Yeah! Rock on, Mothra-flickers!

"Then, dear children, Godzilla showed up and Double Mullet Denim Dude was never seen again..."

Mind you, half of Tokyo was never seen again either (a coincidence, I'm sure).

Sovereign Court

*A third postcard is delivered to everyone and is entitled "Bookish Bedlam".*

Hey, Wally spotters!

I've got to be quiet right now, because I'm in a massive library! Although, it appears that some of the books are magical and many famous literary characters are literally coming out of the pages! I guess I could be noisy after all!

*The library is indeed very large, with many people reading books. However, some of them are in a panic as many different things are coming out of the books (such as nursery rhyme characters, various literary characters and plenty of wild African animals), even some of the books are alive and causing mayhem!*

*Wally is hidden among many piles of books (reading Where's Wally), Count Reiner Heydrich is beside a bookshelf (on which, sits Humpty Dumpty), being partially obscured by a couple of King Arthur's knights and a cat (from the pet shop) is sitting on a tree branch with some monkeys.*

*Also, somewhere here (and in future scenes) is the mystery traveller.*

Sovereign Court

I don't what is more amusing, people being chased lions, or lions telling people to "Shhh!".

The lions telling people to Shhh are trying to read books in peace.

Lions are flexible. They can do both at once

Sovereign Court

*Studies the picture on the third postcard.*

Alright, Wenda is partially obscured by Mother Goose (who is chatting with Bo Peep).

Woof is among a group of leopards (only his head is visible).

Wizard Whitebeard is at the back of the library, in front of a small group of frightened people, defiantly staring down a large fire demon. With his staff raised in his left hand and is clearly telling the demon "YOU, SHALL NOT, PASS!".

And Odlaw is among a group of people running away from some sentient (and very snappy) books.

*Turns away from looking at the postcard for a minute.*

You find out who sent you that pipe bomb yet, Schism?

What pipe bomb?

Sovereign Court

Schism wrote:

Opens the parcel the wrong way.

Oh! A pipe bomb.

Looks everywhere
But there is no card.
I don't know who to send a thankyou note to.

Remember now?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Looks bashful.
Hands behind back.

I... lost it.

Sovereign Court

Well, alright, just make sure to find it. Whoever sent it must really care about you.

*Goes back to looking at the postcard.*


*Briefly looks up from hearing the noise, then just shrugs it off and continues looking at the postcard.*

It was a bagpipe bomb.

'Welcome tae bonnie Stoatland'

Sovereign Court

So, did you send it to Schism?

If that's the case, then I expected better.

Sovereign Court

Schism sent Schism the pipe bomb. Because Schism.

Sovereign Court

I really thought that it would be from Pulg, because of what Mr. Grinch did to the Mould Sanctuary.

Sovereign Court

Pulg sent a bugpeep bomb.

‘Welcome tew Tawny Squatlund’.

The Tawny Squatlund is a fairly deadly owl. Not as deadly as us, of course, but still not to be trifled with.

Sovereign Court

What about the Snowy Newfoundland?

Or, Smurfs!

Sovereign Court

*Not long after Super Slaad? had asked his question, a fourth postcard was sent to everyone*

*The postcard in question, is labelled "Not Mushroom for Trolling through the Mines!"*

Look out, Wally fans! We're underground in a cavernous mine, with some blue skinned trolls, so we'll need some safety gear. The trolls are mining for some delicious multicoloured mushrooms to eat, but it looks like some of the mushrooms want to eat them! Hopefully, between the runaway mine carts, feisty fungi and near cave ins, they'll be home in time for supper!

*The scene depicts a bustling mining operation, with cart tracks crisscrossed over each other, and even couple of drilling machines adding to the chaos. The trolls (which look more like Dwarfs, but with blue skin and pointed ears) are either digging for mushrooms with their pickaxes or fighting/running away from some large and very aggressive fungi.*

*Wally is among a patch of red and white striped mushrooms, Count Reiner Heydrich is hanging upside down (in human form) in one of the tunnels, the cat from the pet shop is on top of one of the trolls' head, and one of King Arthur's knights (from the previous scene) is among some trolls that are trying to climb up a mountain of mushrooms.*

The when wrote:
Schism sent Schism the pipe bomb. Because Schism.

We did not.

Even when we sometimes find fault with her, hurting her would be hurting ourselves.

Sovereign Court

Ah, hello there, Schism has told me all about you (and none of it good, I'm afraid).

But, regardless of what she thinks, I could use your help.

*Presents the most recent postcard to Schism Hag.*

I've managed to find Wally and the three travellers from the previous scenes. However, I can't find Wenda, Woof, Wizard Whitebeard and Odlaw. Do you think that you might be able to find them? I did ask Schism for help, but she's useless!

Oh, and I've already found the mystery traveller, so don't worry about that.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Casts all seeing eye.
Wenda is behind the girl with pink pigtails.
Woof is next to the yellow tabby.
Wizard Whitebeard is next to the Man in the Yellow Hat.
Odlaw is next to one of the Beagle Boys.

Did somebody say 'bugle'?

Sovereign Court

*Looks back at the postcard, somewhat confused, to verify Schism Hag.*

*Meanwhile, while Sir Limey De Longears ruthlessly slays Champion Bugler Longears.*

Ah yes, I see them now! Wenda is indeed behind a female troll (who has pink pigtails).

The "yellow tabby" that Woof is next to, is actually a spike-covered lizard.

While the "Man in the Yellow Hat", next to Wizard Whitebeard, is a large, sentient mushroom.

And the "Beagle Boys" next to Odlaw, are just a bunch of mushroom thieving trolls.

Still, very good eye. Blame Schism for the bad perception.

Luke Skywalker was lost in space. He had been exploring the galaxy for weeks, searching for answers to the mysteries of the Force. As he flew his X-wing through the vast expanse, he suddenly found himself enveloped in a thick layer of acid clouds.

The acid clouds were so thick that Luke couldn't see where he was going. He tried to use his instruments, but they were malfunctioning. Suddenly, a strange creature appeared out of the clouds. It was Cthulhu, the ancient and malevolent being that was said to be older than time itself.

Luke was surprised to see Cthulhu, but he wasn't afraid. He had faced many dangers in his travels, and he was determined to confront whatever challenge lay ahead. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I am Cthulhu," the creature replied. "I have been waiting for you."

Luke was puzzled. "Why have you been waiting for me?"

Cthulhu laughed. "You are the chosen one," he said. "You are the one who will bring balance to the Force."

Luke was skeptical. "What do you know about the Force?" he asked.

Cthulhu smiled. "I know everything about the Force," he said. "I have been studying it for eons."

Luke was intrigued. "Tell me more," he said.

Cthulhu began to speak, and Luke listened intently. As he listened, he began to understand the true nature of the Force, and how it connected all living beings in the galaxy. He saw how the light and the dark were two sides of the same coin, and how balance was the key to unlocking the true power of the Force.

As Cthulhu finished speaking, Luke felt a surge of energy coursing through his body. He knew that he had been changed by the encounter, and that he was now ready to face whatever lay ahead. With a nod of his head, he bid Cthulhu farewell, and flew his X-wing back into the starry expanse.

As he flew, he felt a sense of peace and serenity wash over him. He knew that he had been given a gift, and that he would use it to bring balance to the galaxy. For Luke Skywalker, the journey had only just begun.


Luke Skywalker was still reeling from his encounter with Cthulhu, but he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to learn. As he wandered the galaxy, he eventually found himself on a backwater planet in a seedy dive bar.

As he sat at the bar nursing a drink, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Cthulhu standing behind him, grinning from ear to ear. "What are you doing here?" Luke asked.

"I heard there was a poker game going on," Cthulhu replied, motioning to a table in the back of the bar. "Care to join me?"

Luke was hesitant. He wasn't much of a gambler, but he couldn't resist the chance to spend more time with the ancient creature. He nodded, and followed Cthulhu to the table.

As they sat down, Luke looked around at the other players. They were a rough-looking bunch, but they didn't seem to mind the presence of a Jedi and an elder god at their table. Cthulhu dealt the cards, and the game began.

Luke quickly realized that Cthulhu was an excellent poker player. His tentacles moved deftly across the table, and he seemed to know what cards his opponents were holding before they even looked at them. Luke struggled to keep up, but he managed to hold his own.

As the game went on, Luke and Cthulhu began to talk more. They discussed the nature of the Force, the mysteries of the galaxy, and the intricacies of the game they were playing. Luke found himself opening up to Cthulhu in ways that he never had before.

Eventually, the game ended, and Luke found himself the winner. He couldn't believe it - he had managed to outplay an elder god at poker. He grinned as he collected his winnings, feeling a sense of satisfaction that he had never felt before.

As he and Cthulhu left the bar, Luke realized that he had gained something far more valuable than the credits he had won. He had gained a friend, and a mentor. He knew that he would continue to learn from Cthulhu, and that their paths would cross again someday. For Luke Skywalker, the journey had taken another unexpected turn, but he was ready for whatever lay ahead.


As Luke and Cthulhu stepped out of the bar, a group of bounty hunters appeared from the shadows. They had been hired by a rival poker player who had lost to Luke and Cthulhu earlier in the evening.

Luke's first instinct was to draw his lightsaber, but he hesitated when he saw that Cthulhu was not reacting to the situation. Instead, the elder god simply stood there, waiting to see what would happen.

Luke felt a sudden urge to take advantage of Cthulhu's inaction. He had never felt this way before, but he couldn't resist the temptation. He drew his blaster and aimed it at Cthulhu.

"I'm sorry, old friend," Luke said. "But I have to do this."

Cthulhu's eyes widened in surprise, and Luke could feel the shock and disappointment emanating from the creature. But he didn't care - he had made his choice.

As Luke fired the blaster, he suddenly felt a searing pain in his mind. He realized too late that Cthulhu had retaliated with a psychic attack. He felt his thoughts and memories being crushed and destroyed, as if a thousand weights had been dropped on his brain.

In his final moments of consciousness, Luke realized the full extent of his mistake. He had betrayed a being far more powerful than he could ever comprehend, and now he was paying the ultimate price.

As his mind crumbled into dust, Luke realized that he had been a fool. He had been so focused on winning at poker and learning from Cthulhu that he had lost sight of what was truly important - the bond of friendship and respect between two very different beings.

As he slipped into oblivion, Luke knew that he had failed. He had failed Cthulhu, and he had failed himself. His journey had ended in tragedy, a cautionary tale for any who dared to betray the trust of an elder god.


Cthulhu watched in sadness as Luke's body fell to the ground, lifeless. He had never wanted things to end this way, but he had no choice but to defend himself. Despite the betrayal, Cthulhu remembered the good times he had shared with Luke, and his heart ached at the loss of a potential friend.

As he stood there, lost in thought, Cthulhu realized that he was tired of the loneliness that came with being an elder god. For millennia he had roamed the universe, seeking knowledge and understanding, but always alone. He longed for the companionship that he had briefly experienced with Luke.

But who could he find to fill that void? Who could possibly understand his cosmic perspective, his ancient wisdom, and his vast knowledge? As he pondered these questions, Cthulhu began to dream of finding a new friend in the future. Someone who would not betray him, someone who would share in his journey and respect him for who he was.

He knew that this search would not be easy, but he was willing to take the risk. Cthulhu would continue his journey through the universe, seeking out new experiences and new knowledge, but with a new goal in mind. He would find a new friend, and this time he would not let them slip away.

As he turned away from Luke's lifeless body, Cthulhu's mind filled with hope for the future. He knew that the journey ahead would not be easy, but he was ready for whatever lay ahead. For Cthulhu, the journey had taken an unexpected turn, but he was determined to make the best of it.

-= THE END =-

Sovereign Court

Yes, a pity about Luke Skywalker, maybe he'll have better luck in an alternative reality.

Also, I forgot that Cthulhu was a graduate from GoatToucher University*.

*That's not it's actual name, but it has been a few years since I graduated from there.

Sovereign Court

Yes, your graduation, some of us remember it better than you…

GT's Gothic Fairy Sousaphones wrote:
Dedrick, The Professor wrote:

*Gets a kriss blade and slices open Comte de Malodor, spilling the fool's guts out.*

*Then, proceeds to slice open the bodies of GoatToucher's Gothic Fairy Sousaphone band*

** spoiler omitted **

:As you slit them open, the Gothic Fairy Sousaphone players look up to you with something akin to gratitude, gurgling as their life spills out with the burbling purple ichor. You look down at the dark blood smeared on your arms and apron, and, satisfying a bit of curiosity, sniff. It is a quite pleasant aroma of lilac and some sort of citrus liqueur:

:You look upon the still forms of the fairies, given a peace long denied them:

:one of the bodies spasms:

:and another:

:and another:

:Soon, all the corpses are convulsing, spraying their fluids from every hole. The bodies begin to slither together and their flesh melds, every pair of fairies becoming a hideous amalgam in order to seal the wounds you delivered upon them. A face emerges from a neck here, and arm from a belly there. Extra legs flail and extra hands curl in mute agony:

:The fairy that looked to you with gratitude now bears a wide eyed look of horror and betrayal:

:You look on, feeling a combination or revulsion and professional curiosity, when the lilac smell fills your nostrils with increased potency. You look down to see the ichor dissolving your clothes. You hasten to tear them away, but the blood on your hands and arms penetrates your flesh. You feel yourself...Changing:

:a sousaphone grows out of your body and into your hands:

I wondered, how could you improve on a classic? The answer, of course, was BEANS, which is why my new top hit TV series, The Beandalorian, is presently blowing up a streaming service near you.

Sovereign Court

Maybe giving them dynamite wasn't a good idea, many people are going to be angry with you.

The ones who missed out on free dynamite will be angriest.

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