Last one to post wins

[Double Mullet Denim Dude]

All you dweebs can go to hell - you ain't never gonna stop me rockin'!

[GoatToucher]

The when wrote:

I’m pretty sure that shame is one of the side effects of all GoatToucher brand products.

Some brands bake love into every product...

[Orange Hulk]

Me want brand that bake POWER into every product!

[Pulg]

Then try Pulg's Penguin Protein Pemmican!

[Dedrick, The Professor]

Pulg wrote:

Then try Pulg's Penguin Protein Pemmican!

Side effects include: itching of the skin, burning sensation of the throat, hallucinogenic dilation of the eyes, mood swings, a constant smelling of burnt toast and immediate loss of hair and buttocks. Contains GoatToucher brand radioactive materials, do not consume or be within 10 billion universes of product.

[Pulg]

But what are they made of? Let us tell you, in song!

['Glistening' Buff Scrotes]

Take a flightless bird, or a chocolate-covered biscuit, whichever is closer to hand,

[Pulg's Fairy Glockenspiel Band]

Add toenail clippings, from all betoèd members, of Pulg's very many fairy bands,

[Pulgewein's Fairy Klezmer Band]

Some lightly masticated matzo crackers, a shtreimel, five pounds of forbidden fats,

[Pulg's Fairy Monkeyboard Trio]

A nut, and some bacteria, from Winston Churchill's favourite hat

[Pulg's Incredible Bongo Band]

Baked with love, and baked with POWER, spreadin' sunshine like a golden shower,

[Pulg]

Stirred with a spade in Borvil's undergarments, atop my Melodic Ziggurat!

[Dedrick, The Professor]

And that's how I created the onetime monstrosity: Dodo-Rei-Mi!

He didn't last long... only 2 million years.

Such a disappointment.

[Vampire Schism]

Should have used some GoatToucher Blood Preservative(TM).

[Orange Hulk]

Or some really good sunlight!

*Opens up a large window, letting in vast amounts of sunlight.*

[Great Light of the Day]

Hallo.

[Orange Hulk]

*Feels strength increase tenfold, thanks to the bright sunlight.*

Me feel really powerful now! What about all of you guys?

[Vampire Schism]

Hiss!

Good thing I have GoatToucher SPF1000 Sun Screen(TM)

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Me too, daughter, me too. Just try telling others that though...

*Retreats to a nearby area of shade, while the servants try to deal with Orange Hulk.*

[Dowager Comtesse de Malodor]

Oh, you poor thing. Step under this parasol - it used to be Orcus' jockstrap, but has been ingeniously upcycled.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*Steps under the parasol as more sunlight invades the castle.*

Personally, I wouldn't mind, but it's not even summer yet!

[The when]

Shiny, shiny beans. They twinkle like the sun. Shiny, shiny beans. Ain’t that fun?

[Lord President Beans]

I've been up all night polishing 'em!

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

With the sunlight being as bright as it is, I'm not sure there is a night anymore!

[Quiche Lisp]

I'm here, proudly wearing my blue lavender gnomish Pantaloons of Daring Superiority, returned from the Ages, and I say to you :
This thread is mine !

[Quiche Lisp]

And I see that the wily Pulg is still about: well-played, good Sir ! However the field remains mine !

[Quiche Lisp]

And GoatToucher - yours is a vocation that endures !
But still: I win this thread.

[Goblin Mime]

.......?

.......!

[Quiche Lisp]

Ha, a new contender !
Pshht, pshhht [*makes a dismissive gesture with a well manicured hand*] !

[Pulg]

Quiche Lisp wrote:

And I see that the wily Pulg is still about: well-played, good Sir ! However the field remains mine !

Thankyou. However, the field in question is the one on which I built my Ziggurat of Melody, I'm afraid. Sorry about your turnips.

[Fish-Malkovich]

Quiche Lisp wrote:

Ha, a new contender !

Pshht, pshhht [*makes a dismissive gesture with a well manicured hand*] !

You are not GoatToucher, do not try to emulate him!

[The when]

Hey Quiche Lisp. Can we call you eggy-pie, instead?

[Fish-Malkovich]

I'm in agreement with you, The when, it would be easier to say.

Plus, we can still call him that even if he doesn't like it!

[Goblin Mime]

*Becomes trapped in his own invisible box (mostly because it's a real invisible box!)*

........!

[GoatToucher]

Fish-Malkovich wrote:

Quiche Lisp wrote:

Ha, a new contender !

Pshht, pshhht [*makes a dismissive gesture with a well manicured hand*] !

You are not GoatToucher, do not try to emulate him!

I don't have a monopoly on style! Indeed, I am glad to have a compatriot in that regard.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*Darkness finally returns to the castle, much to the disappointment of Orange Hulk.*

You should have a monopoly on style! Or rather, your specific style.

*Kicks the invisible box, sending Goblin Mime tumbling down a hill.*

No single entity could ever hope to reach your level of "you", so capitalise on it!

[ChuChu and the Pulgettes]

Ai ai ai!
Eggy eggy pie!
He's an eggy eggy pie guy!
When playing the euphonium
He's hotter than plutonium,
Eggy eggy pie pie pie! (Shooble wang)

[Dukes of HUZZAH-RD!]

*Joins in with the song, singing loudly and off key, annoying ChuChu and the Pulgettes.*

[Schism Spice]

Joins ChuChu in harmony after putting a gag over Dukes of HUZZAH-RD.

[Dukes of HUZZAH-RD!]

*Removes gags, continues to be a public nuisance to everyone.*

[BORVIL]

*Picks up Dukes of HUZZARD-RD by the ankles and puts him in the bin*

[Dukes of HUZZAH-RD!]

*The lead Duke of HUZZAH-RD is pulled out by the other Dukes.*

*Moves on to do something else to be a nuisance to everyone.*

[GT's Abominable Sousaphone Band]

:1/10 of the way through a painful regeneration:

...Phoomph...

[The when]

:1

Orc with broken tusk.

[Pulg]

:2 Manticore with one eye and a pooey bum.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

:3

Vishkanya with one fang, one thumb and one shoe. But no tongue.

[Schism Hag]

:4
Chimera with only 2 heads.

[Pulg]

5. Beige dragon.

[Dr. Albert W. Wily]

6. A clockwork mage that looks like Donald Duck!

[The when]

.7 Hippopotamus on a pogo stick.