Mr. Grinch's page

Rather than having my mouth washed out with Pulg, I was eating that very burrito. 'Burritos don't look like Pulg!', you might say, but this was a vintage, cellar-aged, pork 'n' prawn burrito.

I thought they stopped making those about 8000 years ago due to the fact that it causes diabetic hysteria.

*Notices the letter on the workbench.*

Schism, if you needed help, you should have just asked.

*Gives Schism the letter, and provides directions to Castle Heydrich.*

Don't worry about knowing who Vampire Schism is, she'll find you, now go.

Years spent raiding Schism's wardrobes: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 0 ⇒ (392, 862, 675, 58, 49, 925, 922, 61, 36, 610, 425, 881, 918, 547, 571, 634, 176, 751, 849, 590, 446, 911, 490, 280, 445, 168, 181, 641, 180, 112, 187, 477, 604, 642, 274, 89, 721, 912, 491, 935, 435, 868, 757, 59, 782, 971, 619, 870, 212, 38, 336, 860, 181, 790, 675, 84, 37, 4, 117, 67, 268, 115, 735, 502, 18, 443, 329, 546, 697, 618, 205, 697, 349, 336, 106, 380, 830, 839, 517, 303, 686, 741, 505, 998, 582, 968, 295, 522, 755, 5, 497, 855, 158, 445, 672, 277, 89, 413, 509, 465) + (228, 48, 804, 184, 176, 859, 813, 48, 3, 429, 69, 962, 834, 872, 785, 151, 525, 40, 442, 838, 19, 55, 852, 160, 950, 827, 296, 600, 546, 429, 114, 74, 487, 647, 29, 215, 823, 425, 825, 90, 801, 799, 455, 306, 874, 651, 587, 165, 885, 210, 448, 533, 450, 998, 154, 849, 394, 64, 965, 763, 355, 423, 115, 257, 414, 457, 282, 971, 774, 749, 307, 144, 483, 435, 783, 452, 244, 329, 404, 946, 788, 843, 637, 450, 403, 109, 256, 648, 397, 608, 225, 425, 903, 983, 412, 570, 469, 644, 40, 14) + (681, 508, 590, 644, 55, 556, 673, 787, 499, 367, 903, 227, 20, 429, 678, 610, 354, 625, 362, 543, 626, 879, 658, 734, 962, 32, 522, 321, 408, 115, 435, 975, 53, 962, 919, 971, 63, 670, 233, 4, 252, 264, 905, 188, 978, 950, 613, 312, 475, 190, 427, 523, 870, 273, 146, 775, 57, 855, 353, 961, 314, 211, 119, 56, 877, 634, 850, 873, 71, 838, 419, 170, 906, 97, 62, 841, 721, 776, 607, 392, 931, 711, 424, 96, 4, 91, 727, 671, 191, 367, 892, 672, 896, 494, 769, 909, 341, 793, 186, 547) + (133, 486, 899, 977, 649, 766, 177, 502, 191, 25, 424, 103, 309, 673, 476, 26, 482, 559, 924, 779, 280, 29, 856, 312, 686, 905, 515, 98, 842, 523, 347, 419, 268, 164, 429, 862, 429, 595, 710, 967, 846, 508, 861, 328, 181, 23, 788, 93, 682, 611, 380, 902, 352, 597, 376, 734, 728, 185, 258, 868, 383, 411, 274, 221, 663, 435, 901, 412, 539, 235, 682, 664, 635, 670, 560, 536, 336, 814, 571, 349, 641, 106, 669, 988, 508, 682, 409, 999, 241, 969, 779, 151, 968, 902, 819, 895, 643, 7, 552, 704) + (886, 923, 521, 29, 146, 233, 838, 826, 785, 954, 62, 470, 251, 272, 466, 218, 775, 578, 942, 781, 590, 549, 152, 877, 626, 656, 673, 836, 708, 412, 432, 109, 466, 502, 198, 689, 454, 187, 652, 139, 724, 767, 408, 12, 4, 425, 959, 979, 189, 406, 348, 21, 819, 785, 78, 532, 591, 588, 728, 680, 285, 158, 98, 791, 395, 745, 957, 634, 845, 774, 700, 781, 229, 184, 126, 818, 559, 721, 143, 108, 883, 541, 462, 243, 548, 921, 330, 120, 605, 623, 85, 430, 315, 898, 859, 379, 510, 680, 739, 482) + 0 = 252418

Seriously, you're only now taking a break? I gave you leave months ago!

Mr. Grinch wrote:

*Baleful glaring at Schism.*

You're not teasing me, are you?

No Sir!

Good girl!

*Pats Schism on the head.*

Don't forget the adventure journals of Sir Wallace, now will you?

Or the latest issue of "Fashion Aeon" magazine for Vampire Schism.

And keep the coffin as far away from the count's territory as possible.

The dark energy of the area will strengthen the horrors within!

*Baleful glaring at Schism.*

You're not teasing me, are you?

Why would you worry about something like that? They're not, by the way.

And, would you like to know something else? I think that you are

There is only one, Mr. Grinch.

Thanks, kiddo, much appreciated.

You were talking about me, right?

In any case, ignore Dedrick, he was responding to my previous comment.

So...

You're not the ruthless and daring hairy thing with the ambition to become the undisputed Emperor of the World?

Must have been someone else then, pity, I was sure that Pulg was an evil mastermind.

I didn't know that your first name was Michael, The when!

We know your middle name's Florence, because you told us your mum wanted to name you after her grandmother.

And what kind of candy are you wanting to buy, and how do you intend to eat it?

Only asking simply because you don't have a mouth.

She doesn't like things wrapped, excluding presents, it causes her to stress out.

Well, I did offer you 3 more bits and a few bobs.

But, you said that they didn't match your eyes and were very unsightly.

It's not a real duck, just a wooden carving of one!

*At this, the duck breaks free from Mr Grinch's grasp and flies away.*

Oh, guess it was real after all.

You're welcome, and I was right, nothing bad happened.

All that happened was Dr. Wily got himself killed and the infinite time ways are restored.

Which, again, doesn't effect us. As it has already happened in the past.

I wonder if you could see if your vampire self has responded to her father's letter.

*Goes up to Schism, holding a duck and a cover.*

Relax, it's taking place in the past, nothing bad is going to happen.

Pity we can't be there Pulg, but steam makes our hair all frizzy.

*Looks back at the postcard, somewhat confused, to verify Schism Hag.*

*Meanwhile, while Sir Limey De Longears ruthlessly slays Champion Bugler Longears.*

Ah yes, I see them now! Wenda is indeed behind a female troll (who has pink pigtails).

The "yellow tabby" that Woof is next to, is actually a spike-covered lizard.

While the "Man in the Yellow Hat", next to Wizard Whitebeard, is a large, sentient mushroom.

And the "Beagle Boys" next to Odlaw, are just a bunch of mushroom thieving trolls.

Still, very good eye. Blame Schism for the bad perception.

Ah, hello there, Schism has told me all about you (and none of it good, I'm afraid).

But, regardless of what she thinks, I could use your help.

*Presents the most recent postcard to Schism Hag.*

I've managed to find Wally and the three travellers from the previous scenes. However, I can't find Wenda, Woof, Wizard Whitebeard and Odlaw. Do you think that you might be able to find them? I did ask Schism for help, but she's useless!

Oh, and I've already found the mystery traveller, so don't worry about that.

Well, alright, just make sure to find it. Whoever sent it must really care about you.

*Goes back to looking at the postcard.*

KABOOM!!!

*Briefly looks up from hearing the noise, then just shrugs it off and continues looking at the postcard.*

Opens the parcel the wrong way.

Oh! A pipe bomb.

Looks everywhere
But there is no card.
I don't know who to send a thankyou note to.

Remember now?

*Studies the picture on the third postcard.*

Alright, Wenda is partially obscured by Mother Goose (who is chatting with Bo Peep).

Woof is among a group of leopards (only his head is visible).

Wizard Whitebeard is at the back of the library, in front of a small group of frightened people, defiantly staring down a large fire demon. With his staff raised in his left hand and is clearly telling the demon "YOU, SHALL NOT, PASS!".

And Odlaw is among a group of people running away from some sentient (and very snappy) books.

*Turns away from looking at the postcard for a minute.*

You find out who sent you that pipe bomb yet, Schism?

That explains the challenge of finding people "Cher-ing" at the "Heydrich House Party."

*Looks at postcards in more intense detail.*

OK, I've found everyone, and I'll write down where they are:

Wenda: in the first postcard "Heydrich House Party", she's hidden behind the trio of dragonmaids being bothered by a werewolf. And in the second postcard "Out in Town", she is among a crowd of people crossing the road (plus a zebra).

Woof: in the first postcard, he is hidden behind a bongo drum of Pulg's Fairy Bongo Band (his tail is poking out from behind the drum). And in the second postcard, he is in pet shop (amid other dogs, with all but his tail being shown).

Wizard Whitebeard: in the first postcard, he is drinking with some witches (being partially obscured by a couple of skeletons). And in the second postcard, he is behind the fountain (which is spraying water at some passers-by).

Odlaw: in the first postcard, he is among a group of zombie waiters. And in the second postcard, he is beside a flower stall (where he is being attacked by a plant, along with a nearby bystander, after picking a rose).

Also, I've found the mystery traveller that appears in every scene.

Right you are, Schism, twas a lot of good fun!

*Sees that the letterbox is full of letters and a couple of parcels.*

Looks like we've got some catching up to do!

*Empties the letterbox, most of it is anonymous death threats (so, nothing new).*

Here you go, Schism, this one is for you.

*Passes Schism one of the parcels, opens the other.*

Aha! The new Golden Serpent Snow Globe that I ordered, excellent!

*Notices a couple of postcards.*

What have we here?

*Takes a closer look at the postcards (one is labelled "Heydrich House Party" and the other is "Out in Town").*

They're from Wally (off on another fantastic journey I see!)

*Gives the postcards to Schism to look at.*

What do you think, Schism, think you can find everyone in these pictures?

Beatings I receive from Schism: 80d300 + 90d400 + 100d500 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d600 ⇒ (188, 77, 75, 92, 288, 261, 232, 263, 212, 25, 138, 200, 212, 220, 74, 177, 163, 202, 290, 260, 62, 187, 121, 217, 186, 299, 13, 236, 76, 222, 121, 119, 231, 226, 77, 83, 28, 211, 10, 92, 137, 91, 19, 27, 152, 295, 237, 142, 51, 242, 160, 20, 18, 129, 251, 50, 13, 95, 71, 198, 28, 84, 117, 258, 17, 158, 33, 93, 48, 159, 134, 291, 187, 234, 286, 106, 161, 152, 276, 234) + (303, 368, 367, 137, 269, 162, 210, 93, 267, 354, 298, 268, 120, 58, 142, 222, 145, 217, 212, 69, 96, 303, 361, 242, 178, 280, 173, 181, 71, 162, 202, 287, 50, 13, 22, 245, 127, 127, 270, 131, 244, 241, 354, 283, 32, 25, 320, 89, 273, 228, 296, 196, 162, 112, 174, 259, 337, 243, 302, 121, 94, 156, 10, 350, 223, 276, 15, 204, 400, 144, 134, 307, 8, 246, 214, 25, 327, 330, 54, 338, 188, 68, 160, 231, 259, 175, 225, 246, 43, 352) + (117, 59, 111, 282, 249, 215, 188, 475, 222, 184, 359, 187, 76, 96, 10, 367, 375, 183, 282, 330, 483, 71, 101, 120, 171, 212, 381, 378, 265, 154, 332, 3, 221, 48, 466, 207, 375, 242, 378, 423, 304, 342, 389, 390, 213, 355, 154, 36, 146, 314, 231, 372, 406, 446, 449, 67, 60, 391, 234, 44, 11, 476, 3, 90, 76, 146, 146, 315, 500, 177, 486, 175, 29, 259, 242, 344, 142, 7, 433, 142, 383, 324, 422, 90, 387, 487, 177, 277, 324, 215, 110, 183, 260, 32, 106, 285, 307, 294, 198, 452) + (298, 975, 706, 327, 434, 374, 978, 763, 396, 641, 685, 675, 329, 791, 44, 615, 23, 389, 963, 127, 427, 7, 898, 923, 821, 608, 167, 284, 349, 210, 215, 649, 243, 866, 763, 71, 852, 603, 111, 545, 89, 349, 686, 119, 913, 882, 201, 558, 558, 93, 558, 148, 45, 679, 949, 750, 183, 63, 70, 832, 957, 365, 918, 488, 56, 508, 81, 215, 542, 994, 185, 677, 353, 381, 220, 344, 489, 467, 276, 193, 922, 710, 175, 883, 560, 850, 663, 808, 742, 268, 716, 26, 423, 834, 125, 227, 283, 209, 686, 730) + (347, 30, 940, 563, 952, 781, 115, 745, 998, 671, 744, 362, 622, 932, 603, 375, 176, 589, 963, 958, 919, 148, 670, 455, 783, 970, 720, 495, 658, 709, 848, 372, 623, 68, 867, 534, 820, 673, 128, 398, 466, 842, 906, 286, 511, 723, 396, 21, 658, 411, 318, 565, 46, 153, 398, 242, 489, 772, 450, 529, 191, 228, 26, 762, 7, 104, 442, 116, 951, 709, 205, 500, 611, 935, 205, 393, 641, 863, 231, 103, 928, 450, 524, 327, 639, 505, 65, 287, 458, 770, 56, 27, 374, 971, 599, 415, 654, 158, 975, 703) + (549, 534, 411, 421, 154, 138, 74, 288, 315, 492, 31, 158, 470, 64, 258, 463, 527, 366, 274, 363, 529, 590, 72, 3, 24, 84, 444, 363, 538, 290, 443, 126, 198, 324, 10, 22, 524, 388, 444, 94, 452, 218, 407, 270, 347, 320, 397, 75, 584, 200, 103, 528, 437, 538, 51, 349, 89, 5, 118, 154, 114, 201, 12, 232, 392, 15, 436, 252, 228, 334, 353, 513, 535, 115, 491, 385, 479, 164, 509, 415, 444, 161, 383, 436, 281, 79, 459, 93, 502, 250, 100, 317, 179, 167, 115, 52, 398, 547, 540, 156) = 183437. So worth it!

Plays bugle right next to Schism's ear: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 ⇒ (776, 757, 119, 180, 802, 66, 166, 68, 506, 149, 2, 1000, 268, 471, 819, 301, 611, 441, 154, 500, 411, 968, 347, 336, 674, 285, 340, 202, 165, 872, 612, 435, 592, 912, 15, 253, 845, 50, 70, 766, 406, 284, 387, 810, 709, 429, 722, 741, 496, 83, 427, 410, 306, 352, 987, 810, 364, 265, 258, 396, 395, 484, 120, 437, 875, 78, 545, 149, 842, 247, 760, 326, 831, 123, 383, 385, 176, 181, 908, 823, 43, 273, 687, 808, 900, 207, 191, 756, 350, 351, 213, 620, 573, 117, 217, 396, 415, 891, 376, 951) + (467, 589, 375, 279, 985, 549, 169, 527, 401, 75, 932, 431, 432, 849, 138, 492, 213, 185, 540, 25, 842, 195, 344, 102, 150, 750, 787, 619, 687, 842, 273, 65, 541, 128, 617, 509, 65, 719, 70, 610, 300, 164, 840, 722, 652, 237, 866, 72, 1, 314, 108, 413, 686, 512, 536, 510, 219, 675, 9, 270, 408, 328, 976, 117, 379, 164, 897, 437, 66, 269, 490, 852, 277, 979, 955, 555, 346, 993, 312, 418, 116, 470, 140, 429, 709, 763, 744, 999, 976, 897, 521, 858, 372, 768, 160, 401, 859, 806, 282, 482) + (377, 634, 512, 882, 119, 116, 921, 966, 454, 379, 403, 948, 377, 530, 256, 437, 732, 280, 69, 271, 377, 842, 974, 842, 521, 511, 341, 599, 255, 585, 890, 872, 176, 83, 772, 456, 759, 947, 590, 432, 269, 517, 517, 667, 485, 505, 133, 295, 446, 482, 786, 233, 233, 340, 228, 259, 626, 49, 860, 220, 388, 448, 436, 508, 621, 339, 107, 458, 217, 492, 158, 5, 42, 651, 698, 811, 908, 894, 253, 489, 839, 598, 52, 968, 742, 498, 959, 928, 332, 314, 753, 332, 950, 401, 516, 281, 299, 384, 489, 764) = 142954

Christmas presents delivered: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 ⇒ (538, 780, 69, 573, 941, 250, 940, 412, 269, 225, 873, 884, 88, 476, 855, 604, 861, 116, 566, 98, 35, 192, 333, 157, 785, 662, 607, 760, 189, 539, 945, 651, 360, 221, 467, 852, 310, 218, 365, 694, 315, 500, 969, 419, 313, 259, 414, 843, 359, 199, 829, 969, 995, 737, 628, 78, 631, 629, 319, 381, 361, 215, 639, 666, 717, 694, 571, 640, 614, 545, 466, 317, 953, 237, 579, 516, 666, 392, 68, 439, 104, 917, 734, 438, 299, 228, 618, 800, 766, 197, 205, 725, 119, 393, 862, 791, 564, 230, 16, 451) + (343, 757, 170, 319, 562, 745, 196, 241, 94, 814, 181, 25, 221, 643, 175, 492, 360, 301, 308, 359, 618, 450, 666, 412, 163, 503, 393, 740, 328, 214, 894, 385, 440, 456, 424, 414, 562, 699, 183, 294, 210, 672, 188, 974, 466, 19, 916, 232, 789, 568, 686, 541, 647, 735, 452, 22, 656, 899, 134, 62, 23, 556, 921, 848, 283, 399, 375, 984, 733, 127, 216, 153, 449, 891, 103, 707, 771, 324, 751, 270, 975, 128, 660, 831, 241, 728, 462, 214, 298, 810, 743, 98, 324, 244, 582, 977, 789, 614, 412, 352) + (791, 370, 508, 684, 160, 195, 112, 522, 853, 503, 94, 937, 985, 987, 321, 10, 75, 514, 196, 937, 758, 296, 953, 483, 755, 777, 832, 843, 393, 265, 443, 3, 44, 136, 398, 747, 722, 676, 748, 169, 354, 875, 604, 222, 88, 587, 626, 729, 171, 544, 298, 50, 8, 130, 288, 189, 543, 479, 539, 936, 971, 508, 928, 907, 600, 180, 842, 547, 428, 522, 391, 987, 999, 497, 949, 865, 583, 86, 827, 816, 876, 374, 685, 630, 427, 985, 328, 868, 46, 739, 779, 613, 464, 499, 78, 789, 527, 434, 452, 152) + (746, 993, 452, 621, 97, 391, 390, 125, 675, 502, 672, 371, 434, 113, 120, 689, 164, 36, 860, 916, 619, 480, 573, 710, 28, 338, 418, 390, 805, 54, 897, 470, 750, 741, 248, 825, 50, 8, 770, 823, 712, 664, 581, 590, 481, 52, 728, 390, 262, 782, 873, 489, 226, 507, 884, 638, 242, 812, 792, 369, 6, 621, 500, 392, 183, 138, 495, 380, 56, 729, 221, 586, 521, 808, 549, 733, 238, 12, 543, 106, 342, 523, 307, 464, 199, 190, 781, 770, 255, 487, 788, 970, 806, 203, 89, 395, 135, 763, 85, 803) + (621, 613, 572, 779, 298, 306, 309, 5, 219, 572, 467, 377, 751, 902, 590, 772, 454, 864, 138, 597, 518, 533, 274, 565, 1, 683, 453, 955, 195, 214, 302, 921, 271, 937, 465, 990, 224, 122, 809, 97, 885, 257, 87, 583, 918, 965, 6, 441, 195, 427, 857, 13, 516, 611, 37, 606, 707, 601, 507, 475, 334, 405, 965, 82, 664, 168, 890, 735, 943, 44, 653, 941, 624, 662, 368, 295, 766, 282, 182, 715, 906, 787, 341, 291, 492, 86, 666, 866, 472, 681, 495, 272, 604, 382, 200, 986, 902, 838, 123, 241) + (698, 924, 101, 605, 376, 943, 561, 989, 556, 74, 3, 470, 479, 980, 363, 382, 707, 992, 589, 787, 460, 912, 717, 181, 114, 915, 296, 205, 299, 560, 670, 41, 517, 709, 676, 325, 313, 377, 166, 607, 211, 330, 121, 822, 38, 771, 894, 600, 749, 454, 762, 959, 364, 90, 290, 112, 684, 721, 740, 512, 701, 825, 633, 882, 462, 653, 559, 569, 440, 503, 875, 359, 184, 340, 59, 864, 195, 580, 914, 982, 429, 684, 700, 105, 218, 210, 673, 978, 557, 60, 143, 357, 503, 654, 823, 561, 622, 14, 306, 830) + (599, 581, 677, 793, 455, 293, 623, 54, 707, 185, 75, 283, 679, 486, 569, 309, 115, 492, 342, 234, 258, 304, 932, 106, 620, 26, 893, 18, 612, 421, 873, 910, 771, 576, 311, 291, 67, 801, 79, 38, 96, 817, 862, 396, 680, 399, 667, 703, 300, 493, 526, 18, 558, 241, 432, 418, 818, 569, 814, 465, 545, 543, 559, 887, 353, 508, 221, 335, 800, 963, 352, 171, 551, 365, 901, 765, 340, 941, 566, 572, 31, 200, 380, 15, 14, 939, 87, 145, 572, 920, 886, 905, 180, 822, 201, 452, 75, 683, 691, 105) + (435, 17, 454, 9, 268, 931, 367, 810, 62, 539, 704, 382, 369, 753, 172, 876, 893, 105, 445, 155, 813, 42, 929, 854, 302, 599, 211, 505, 446, 4, 366, 199, 688, 278, 812, 565, 236, 846, 877, 54, 754, 860, 155, 995, 319, 429, 834, 815, 912, 657, 285, 540, 395, 275, 467, 102, 686, 870, 769, 314, 887, 976, 233, 667, 498, 373, 136, 985, 945, 971, 197, 205, 885, 542, 37, 278, 171, 23, 539, 777, 250, 429, 732, 753, 25, 936, 633, 851, 830, 22, 551, 812, 32, 973, 416, 889, 398, 308, 932, 483) = 398622

*Places Schism into her bed and then I climb into mine.*

Don't mind us, we're taking a much needed rest, continue with the flashback!

*Goes right to sleep.*

*Comes home, utterly exhausted, collapses onto a chair.*

What a night! I felt like the universe's most wanted criminal!

*As Schism comes in and falls to the ground, being just as exhausted as Mr. Grinch, a flashback to last night's adventure takes place.*

*Mr. Grinch travels down the chimney of the first house he comes to and briefly gets stuck (as expected), then he comes out into the front room. As he is finishing placing the presents around the tree, a large dog looking like Sergeant Baskerville approaches and growls menacingly.*

Nice teeth!

*The dog promptly starts barking and Mr. Grinch gets out of there!*

*The rest of the night follows a similar pattern, including trying to place a kayak under the tree only to fall under the weight and knock the tree over or being attacked by a cat with a very massive grudge, Schism doesn't get much like either.*

*After resting for bit, Mr. Grinch and Schism realise that they also have presents. Schism is given a chainsaw for destroying accordion. Mr. Grinch, meanwhile, gets a new snow globe and a note that fills him with fear...*

*Note from Santa Claus: "Thanks for doing my job, really helped me to heal up. Merry Christmas and remember..."

*Meanwhile, at the North Pole.*

Schism, the hour draws upon us! It's time to load the sleigh and head out!

Using ninja gift wrapping skills on Schism: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 200000 ⇒ (623, 334, 900, 878, 475, 19, 648, 275, 873, 295, 125, 839, 199, 358, 305, 373, 731, 949, 996, 798, 947, 861, 909, 708, 673, 15, 185, 708, 681, 697, 905, 266, 305, 678, 254, 382, 172, 156, 404, 213, 306, 383, 688, 419, 416, 747, 968, 491, 159, 31, 725, 329, 484, 660, 71, 558, 988, 548, 774, 147, 633, 1000, 648, 321, 829, 514, 868, 341, 785, 369, 361, 273, 451, 835, 355, 901, 235, 101, 372, 69, 528, 173, 691, 524, 203, 129, 372, 518, 23, 56, 484, 75, 588, 838, 870, 767, 519, 469, 983, 878) + (879, 894, 723, 253, 943, 119, 514, 852, 507, 703, 578, 823, 561, 525, 881, 788, 925, 471, 560, 206, 152, 470, 359, 592, 670, 685, 641, 782, 843, 459, 869, 933, 738, 686, 677, 635, 962, 400, 863, 641, 797, 254, 878, 229, 725, 410, 76, 803, 669, 946, 734, 524, 874, 849, 844, 407, 557, 332, 459, 587, 374, 319, 705, 431, 157, 526, 605, 296, 680, 672, 968, 98, 645, 685, 404, 346, 346, 40, 671, 335, 41, 391, 844, 697, 993, 911, 374, 898, 963, 349, 794, 930, 498, 279, 808, 886, 573, 113, 549, 352) + (629, 788, 1, 978, 278, 929, 800, 315, 380, 795, 103, 732, 618, 809, 356, 812, 402, 467, 738, 511, 324, 628, 648, 694, 21, 334, 349, 488, 126, 20, 315, 231, 461, 416, 165, 845, 877, 141, 741, 516, 933, 206, 862, 701, 87, 973, 283, 936, 743, 784, 67, 410, 350, 86, 834, 901, 162, 56, 301, 617, 3, 282, 753, 72, 165, 608, 776, 551, 229, 174, 465, 529, 914, 343, 875, 550, 426, 335, 734, 192, 222, 100, 766, 518, 171, 135, 684, 713, 261, 9, 467, 963, 241, 848, 860, 816, 728, 713, 79, 293) + (660, 23, 14, 221, 832, 177, 407, 643, 840, 946, 55, 489, 345, 810, 606, 414, 495, 322, 58, 431, 306, 5, 259, 372, 636, 425, 600, 563, 370, 653, 493, 210, 684, 301, 626, 693, 738, 368, 289, 80, 340, 155, 915, 207, 278, 462, 759, 321, 471, 684, 792, 10, 37, 560, 394, 167, 111, 666, 873, 29, 703, 737, 174, 803, 177, 443, 295, 774, 308, 200, 474, 666, 291, 733, 382, 525, 792, 76, 110, 992, 959, 728, 906, 752, 523, 134, 35, 737, 719, 919, 635, 921, 515, 242, 895, 410, 104, 942, 19, 705) + (602, 45, 344, 140, 273, 596, 124, 953, 868, 208, 742, 889, 347, 314, 28, 811, 495, 387, 267, 829, 168, 259, 810, 301, 946, 874, 531, 397, 389, 17, 328, 757, 608, 699, 630, 419, 130, 366, 312, 733, 964, 454, 3, 775, 886, 168, 153, 400, 324, 755, 13, 287, 501, 330, 874, 323, 769, 663, 927, 695, 68, 257, 203, 892, 930, 414, 553, 153, 689, 644, 56, 622, 406, 698, 506, 830, 277, 155, 103, 995, 648, 690, 765, 555, 603, 985, 6, 208, 874, 19, 774, 701, 344, 642, 112, 900, 37, 562, 292, 116) + (850, 717, 831, 672, 84, 336, 758, 731, 251, 978, 72, 935, 39, 444, 984, 973, 94, 268, 732, 55, 51, 988, 405, 106, 446, 407, 595, 639, 820, 420, 428, 31, 515, 34, 680, 550, 868, 652, 156, 521, 982, 382, 825, 34, 267, 589, 897, 674, 569, 902, 886, 70, 135, 500, 895, 506, 697, 421, 863, 801, 419, 102, 139, 639, 358, 994, 288, 518, 793, 226, 127, 988, 319, 438, 391, 574, 673, 489, 917, 957, 657, 771, 33, 335, 338, 689, 952, 889, 966, 47, 650, 272, 190, 973, 416, 967, 616, 151, 300, 530) + (496, 790, 396, 313, 565, 684, 692, 24, 70, 621, 215, 875, 641, 496, 954, 815, 600, 149, 301, 532, 33, 153, 71, 574, 697, 629, 685, 723, 660, 205, 214, 647, 131, 4, 766, 850, 122, 988, 277, 731, 749, 379, 803, 519, 438, 577, 763, 330, 582, 38, 849, 493, 166, 921, 497, 104, 200, 282, 918, 191, 175, 297, 587, 384, 943, 200, 305, 373, 571, 635, 150, 741, 434, 440, 534, 517, 492, 761, 937, 867, 566, 807, 57, 931, 376, 552, 926, 450, 168, 721, 863, 768, 589, 14, 807, 203, 969, 638, 882, 798) + (739, 412, 179, 536, 929, 312, 899, 417, 431, 333, 896, 983, 654, 843, 440, 879, 828, 716, 112, 552, 579, 740, 341, 185, 345, 361, 470, 50, 572, 618, 860, 367, 839, 636, 423, 905, 414, 384, 511, 799, 178, 272, 732, 723, 273, 512, 922, 463, 685, 201, 260, 245, 903, 728, 428, 22, 728, 734, 572, 394, 636, 625, 92, 622, 899, 231, 280, 788, 733, 922, 157, 812, 642, 799, 736, 624, 683, 561, 860, 558, 56, 58, 70, 350, 919, 666, 238, 315, 398, 264, 932, 439, 477, 213, 421, 934, 851, 872, 897, 949) + 200000 = 614241

I always thought that the colour they used for the DS-1 Distortion was yellow.

Ninja gift wrapping skills!: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 ⇒ (592, 259, 705, 958, 455, 107, 681, 64, 639, 632, 529, 230, 938, 322, 667, 261, 831, 819, 663, 163, 914, 923, 845, 894, 924, 629, 127, 250, 909, 290, 44, 901, 893, 160, 407, 993, 563, 46, 974, 117, 13, 63, 975, 312, 206, 760, 84, 275, 149, 992, 807, 154, 458, 467, 145, 639, 259, 835, 747, 706, 333, 795, 440, 17, 119, 73, 170, 528, 503, 144, 753, 814, 608, 863, 58, 236, 859, 98, 220, 689, 394, 618, 334, 31, 412, 404, 963, 708, 242, 691, 144, 350, 608, 522, 908, 399, 8, 34, 854, 184) + (216, 444, 173, 581, 547, 541, 384, 205, 725, 595, 62, 764, 344, 471, 631, 958, 20, 137, 34, 202, 707, 434, 192, 985, 475, 611, 37, 970, 356, 128, 127, 844, 801, 1000, 342, 423, 755, 635, 92, 231, 785, 944, 774, 110, 428, 746, 704, 820, 935, 927, 272, 662, 796, 69, 576, 824, 409, 505, 830, 352, 993, 45, 833, 217, 102, 741, 594, 120, 685, 295, 458, 175, 826, 69, 874, 108, 306, 1000, 316, 589, 352, 154, 273, 778, 255, 431, 940, 198, 630, 145, 532, 187, 73, 143, 424, 866, 92, 474, 770, 12) + (410, 684, 125, 184, 724, 453, 43, 242, 390, 899, 967, 75, 747, 389, 202, 307, 192, 812, 121, 656, 814, 839, 835, 361, 633, 297, 304, 851, 358, 657, 468, 615, 905, 582, 835, 303, 228, 189, 599, 67, 179, 448, 669, 373, 812, 285, 486, 301, 805, 392, 953, 841, 630, 694, 702, 52, 813, 239, 829, 657, 408, 679, 996, 285, 860, 337, 839, 255, 700, 16, 890, 285, 182, 28, 850, 84, 584, 213, 906, 611, 88, 656, 626, 741, 753, 139, 153, 401, 632, 581, 403, 544, 78, 903, 637, 362, 561, 490, 349, 269) + (147, 844, 399, 91, 3, 610, 394, 726, 106, 891, 434, 123, 230, 486, 566, 201, 987, 17, 793, 588, 496, 912, 214, 850, 37, 982, 636, 362, 138, 99, 433, 372, 786, 386, 675, 96, 366, 902, 473, 679, 358, 881, 817, 720, 635, 840, 859, 336, 992, 461, 945, 409, 487, 42, 730, 653, 872, 56, 132, 944, 523, 506, 295, 560, 134, 753, 17, 66, 547, 444, 276, 417, 17, 547, 323, 53, 275, 633, 139, 142, 821, 523, 759, 268, 802, 273, 411, 21, 163, 864, 762, 634, 714, 34, 651, 718, 468, 203, 750, 275) + (797, 96, 285, 723, 702, 534, 765, 272, 729, 484, 612, 896, 173, 471, 284, 777, 269, 752, 13, 101, 10, 395, 321, 18, 337, 535, 433, 537, 608, 333, 85, 392, 233, 239, 697, 94, 185, 230, 739, 547, 554, 456, 544, 690, 348, 420, 694, 900, 3, 259, 220, 385, 842, 93, 94, 533, 221, 765, 997, 837, 860, 194, 331, 165, 955, 787, 444, 272, 254, 687, 904, 987, 578, 286, 941, 110, 567, 111, 233, 576, 210, 142, 869, 990, 918, 657, 21, 7, 690, 120, 899, 111, 454, 656, 396, 206, 687, 442, 946, 725) + (370, 652, 17, 980, 285, 907, 693, 467, 41, 779, 432, 75, 60, 750, 738, 407, 522, 53, 216, 157, 972, 37, 991, 595, 537, 120, 523, 359, 648, 103, 880, 944, 384, 354, 705, 402, 479, 68, 502, 210, 822, 413, 120, 231, 14, 701, 344, 145, 443, 402, 54, 65, 38, 455, 270, 507, 441, 249, 84, 924, 892, 702, 672, 597, 108, 268, 700, 665, 219, 156, 387, 569, 235, 865, 156, 769, 979, 489, 891, 263, 252, 447, 353, 207, 93, 297, 98, 398, 979, 797, 252, 873, 277, 259, 607, 953, 243, 879, 760, 981) = 286259

Out of blue wrapping paper and this was the only colour that goes with pink ribbons.

*Gift wraps Schism's head (whilst providing her with eye holes and breathing holes).*

Try that... should help with getting you to focus on your task.

Is Schism swiping left or right?

Left, right, centre, forwards, backwards and every other way you can think of!

Schism, stop swiping the elves' hats and help load the sleigh!

Nice little poem, could've had more to it though.

*Mr. Grinch walks over to a cabinet and admires his freshly waxed snow globes.*

I'm really glad I decided to collect these novelties!

Picks up a snow globe, gives it a shake and places it back while it's "snowing".

Right... I don't believe you.

Anyway, the tinsel needs more sparkle and my snow globes need waxing, so get to it!

One latte is not enough.

And the ceaseless bouts of flatulence and intoxication is a fair trade off is it?

*Is at the North Pole, checking the naughty and nice list (twice!), and examining the presents while Schism teases the elves, feeds the reindeers (polishing Rudolph's nose in the process) and drinking way too much eggnog lattes.*

I'm not so sure about this costume.

I tried getting your old costume, but it was donated to charity (don't know by who).

Never mind that. Where's my mutton pie?!

Um... I... don't know....

Does that mean I'm an elf?

SQUEE!

Eh, sort of, you are going to be my little helper.

*Presents reindeer costume to Schism (minus the red nose, else I get a black eye).*

You'll get an actual elf costume later.

Quit blubbering, you fool, and help me dispose of the body!

*As Mr. Grinch and Schism begin to move Santa's body, he begins to stir.*

Aargh! I mean... AH, thank goodness he's alright. Schism, get a first aid kit!

*Several minutes later, Santa is on his feet and drinking hot chocolate...*

*But his left arm is broken and he's not very happy.*

Santa: Blast it all Mr. Grinch, it's nearly Christmas time you know!

Yes, I know and again, I'm really sorry!

Santa: Maybe so, but my arm is broken and my bag, too heavy to lift...

*Santa points to Mr. Grinch.*

Santa: So now, it's up to you to give each kid a gift.

Me? Do your job? For real this time? What's in it for for me? Am I going to do it to be on the nice list this year? Can I go for a joyride when I'm finished with the deliveries, or maybe just hit the odd drive-through?

Santa: It's something you'll do... for all good kids in bed.

*Squares up to Mr. Grinch, looking more serious than ever.*

Now, get into my outfit... or I'll bust your fat head!

*In a meek voice.* Yes sir, right away sir, I still have my own sir.

*Coughs to get his voice back to normal.*

Schism, we have work to do!

*Comes to the end of his November vacation, making one last stop in Christmas Town.*

Such a fabulous time away in North Wales, it was a scorching 5°C!

*Walks down the street, snatching sweets and throwing snowballs at unsuspecting police elfficers and blaming innocent children, helping himself to a lot of gaudy Christmas clothes.*

It's a lovely way to spend the last day of my vacation, until my December vacation!

*Begins eating a - stolen - mutton pie, only to sense something coming from behind.*

Oh, no you don't! HEE-YA!

*Karate chops the poor sap to the ground...*

*Everyone gets given a jack-o-lantern mysteriously placed outside their front door.*

*After a while, the jack-o-lanterns explode, smearing gunk all over the front doors.*

It'll take them a few days to clear up the messes! >:)

Happy Halloween everyone!

Fantasy NPC: Mr. Pinch.

An elven purveyor of unauthorized medicine.

I'm sure that he's a cousin of mine.

*Spies something interesting in the garbage dump.*

Well now, what do we have here?

*Pulls the object out, it's a most impressive looking battle-axe.*

Nice! This will make an excellent back scratcher!

WHAT!? Why have these things been kept hidden from me?

Yeah, that is really a darn...

Hold on, I didn't know that we had a Butterhenge!

Schism, why did you not tell me that we had a Butterhenge?

*Has hair start to slowly grow back (it's still not a pleasant sight).*

The heat might be gone for now, but who knows what the future holds (besides the When).

*Grabs a feather duster and cleans the cave (taking special care with the recent addition of a taxidermy Sax-O-Bear, courtesy of Schism, but it is only a Sax-O-Bear not the Sax-O-Bear that Pulg is overly fond of).*