Oh, he's not dead. He now sings like all three Bee Gees squealing into a bucket full of eggnog, but we can work with that.
Magnificent! Tell me, what new "pet"/minion you would like to receive?
How about something in the slime family?
Wait! Where did that come from?
That is not what I meant to say.
GRR!
Progress Report.
The roof is finished.
The masons continue on the outside.
The plumbers will finish today.
The electricians have started.
Charmed, Your Grace.
Hello, cheeky boy.
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Lacastrakaa, I know you're dying for an excuse to try out your new Jumbo Rubber Wincers on Alphonse, but I do not feel that it's a good idea to introduce him to a succubus "wearing" that sort of outfit.
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Wait! Where did that come from?
That is not what I meant to say.
GRR!Progress Report.
The roof is finished.
The masons continue on the outside.
The plumbers will finish today.
The electricians have started.
It's absolutely fine, daughter, and thank you for the reports as always.
During my search of the forgotten levels of the crypt, I found this and this.
Because of there being so many of the latter, I will take most of them and give you one of the spares.
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As in famous 1970s wrestler, Jeff Buttocks?
During my search of the forgotten levels of the crypt, I found this and this.
Because of there being so many of the latter, I will take most of them and give you one of the spares.
Thank you.
Progress Report.
The masons should finish today.
The electricians continue their work.
The gas & heating and air crews will be starting today.
I'll pass on the undead.
They have a tendency to glitch.
They keep trying to do the same task over and over again, even when said task is completed.
Since I am so busy, I don't have time to keep an eye on it.
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Fair enough, I myself do not use such minions very much either.
Aside from zombies, ghosts and ghouls, I prefer intelligent undead such as the Baobhan Sith.
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Tell me, Count, are you related to either Deathtrap Duncan, or Forrest O'Doom?
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No, "Deathtrap" Duncan was a notorious prankster known for his lethal and puzzling "jokes".
Hence why, he gave himself the nickname of "Deathtrap" (he was inspired by the infamous Deathtrap Dungeon).
While Forrest O'Doom (no connection to Darkwood Forest, the actual Forest of Doom) was a petty baron from Khul.
They have since died, Deathtrap Duncan met his end (ironically) in Deathtrap Dungeon.
And Forrest O'Doom was victim to a mine collapse whilst searching for gold to improve his status.
I'll take the Baobhan Sith.
She will be a great guard in my vault.
Progress Report.
The electricians are finished.
The gas & heating and air crews finished the first floor and should wrap up everything tomorrow.
As soon as the building inspector gets here, the insulators will start.
If you want superior quality insulation - fast, I can put my mind to shedding a bit sooner. £4 per 20.5 litre sack, how's that?
No, "Deathtrap" Duncan was a notorious prankster known for his lethal and puzzling "jokes".
Hence why, he gave himself the nickname of "Deathtrap" (he was inspired by the infamous Deathtrap Dungeon).
While Forrest O'Doom (no connection to Darkwood Forest, the actual Forest of Doom) was a petty baron from Khul.
They have since died, Deathtrap Duncan met his end (ironically) in Deathtrap Dungeon.
And Forrest O'Doom was victim to a mine collapse whilst searching for gold to improve his status.
What about the very well-upholstered Karen 'Settee' Porter-Trapps?
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I'll take the Baobhan Sith.
She will be a great guard in my vault.Progress Report.
The electricians are finished.
The gas & heating and air crews finished the first floor and should wrap up everything tomorrow.
As soon as the building inspector gets here, the insulators will start.
Most exciting, please help yourself to my private larder, daughter.
If anyone deserves to enjoy sampling my personal food stash, it's you.
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If you want superior quality insulation - fast, I can put my mind to shedding a bit sooner. £4 per 20.5 litre sack, how's that?
I'll pay you £160 for 1.25 litres of hair you are able to shed.
Comte de Malodor used all his pillow stuffing fighting Sir Limey De Longears.
And I said that I would help him to replace all the pillow stuffing. -_-
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What about the very well-upholstered Karen 'Settee' Porter-Trapps?No, "Deathtrap" Duncan was a notorious prankster known for his lethal and puzzling "jokes".
Hence why, he gave himself the nickname of "Deathtrap" (he was inspired by the infamous Deathtrap Dungeon).
While Forrest O'Doom (no connection to Darkwood Forest, the actual Forest of Doom) was a petty baron from Khul.
They have since died, Deathtrap Duncan met his end (ironically) in Deathtrap Dungeon.
And Forrest O'Doom was victim to a mine collapse whilst searching for gold to improve his status.
Also no, as she was a well-known halfling "entertainer". She took her own life after taking Comte de Malodor as a client.
Progress Report.
All the gas and heating work has finished.
The inspector has arrived and approved everything.
The insulators have started.
Everything should be insulated by tonight.
The masons will start putting up the interior walls tomorrow.
Father, I have to be elsewhere tomorrow. Would you please make sure a live cat is entombed in one of the walls. Can't neglect the good luck talisman.
Also, when the contractor said it would take 14 days, I did not take into account them having Sundays off.
Thus the new wing will not be finished until Tuesday.
Also no, as she was a well-known halfling "entertainer". She took her own life after taking Comte de Malodor as a client.What about the very well-upholstered Karen 'Settee' Porter-Trapps?No, "Deathtrap" Duncan was a notorious prankster known for his lethal and puzzling "jokes".
Hence why, he gave himself the nickname of "Deathtrap" (he was inspired by the infamous Deathtrap Dungeon).
While Forrest O'Doom (no connection to Darkwood Forest, the actual Forest of Doom) was a petty baron from Khul.
They have since died, Deathtrap Duncan met his end (ironically) in Deathtrap Dungeon.
And Forrest O'Doom was victim to a mine collapse whilst searching for gold to improve his status.
Hey, that's not true! Having it off with the ammunition is a bit far out even for me.
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Progress Report.
All the gas and heating work has finished.
The inspector has arrived and approved everything.
The insulators have started.
Everything should be insulated by tonight.The masons will start putting up the interior walls tomorrow.
Father, I have to be elsewhere tomorrow. Would you please make sure a live cat is entombed in one of the walls. Can't neglect the good luck talisman.
Also, when the contractor said it would take 14 days, I did not take into account them having Sundays off.
Thus the new wing will not be finished until Tuesday.
Fair enough daughter, you have done well, expect a big promotion when you return.
Oh, maaaaan, this red Leb is something else. Like, I feel the walls are closing in around me...
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*Is especially cheerful this morning, opens the curtains and gets blinded by sun.*
What a lovely day! The weather is good and I'm going to enjoy myself!
*Gets dressed in the most fanciful attire.*
Today is my birthday! I can't remember how old I am now, but I do know that Jurassic Bard is now 32.
*Suddenly spots a man wearing a red and white striped jumper with matching bobble hat, blue jeans and glasses.*
Wally? What are you doing here?
*After wishing the count a happy birthday, Wally explains that he is going on another fantastic journey.*
Brilliant idea! And you say that you are going to 24 places instead of the usual 12, starting with my castle?
*Wally confirms this and says that he intends to go back to the Odlaw Swamp and a couple more old places.*
If that's the case, then I'll be the first of your eleven travelers!
Proop prooproo proo proo proo!
Ru-te tu tu tu tuu!
Bapdy bip bop bap bup bup!
Grrnhrnnauoh
Regret to announce the death of my daughter, Dusty, of old age at 18 years and 10 months.
She got the cuteness gene from her mother instead of the longevity gene from me.
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Progress report.
The masons will be finishing the third floor today.
The woodcrafters have started work on the ceilings and trim work.
Thank you for taking care of the cat for me father.
Sorry I missed your birthday, but I know you don't like people making a big fuss about it.
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What?
Oh, sorry - I thought you said Arch Vice Countess. Aunt Mika is the only person I know with that title, and GoatToucher only knows what she had to do to get it.
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*Suddenly spots a man wearing a red and white striped jumper with matching bobble hat, blue jeans and glasses.*Wally? What are you doing here?
*After wishing the count a happy birthday, Wally explains that he is going on another fantastic journey.*
Brilliant idea! And you say that you are going to 24 places instead of the usual 12, starting with my castle?
*Wally confirms this and says that he intends to go back to the Odlaw Swamp and a couple more old places.*
If that's the case, then I'll be the first of your eleven travellers!
Obviously, there's going to be 23 travellers (including me), not just 11.
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What?
Oh, sorry - I thought you said Arch Vice Countess. Aunt Mika is the only person I know with that title, and GoatToucher only knows what she had to do to get it.
I'll never tell, but I will say that little Mika could hold her breath like a manatee.
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Fret not, my dear lady, no offence was caused and I understand your confusion.
In any case, I will be leaving soon to join Wally on his Fantastic Journey, and I would like you to assist my daughter in managing the castle and surrounding areas. Is that OK with you? If not, I'll ask another.
Certainly - happy to help. I'll make sure Alphonse doesn't bother your maids, though it may be a good idea to electrify them too, just in case.
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Thank you for the title father.
I will wear it with pride.
Progress report.
The woodcrafters will be finished by noon.
All heating and air is being activated, all lights (both electric and gas) are ready for use, the water is running perfectly (cold, freezing, hot and boiling), and all electrical outlets have been rated so that multiple electrical torture devices can be used without blowing any circuit breakers.
The kitchen appliances, dining area furniture, bathroom fixtures, laundry (automatic and manual) and other sundry items are being installed today.
I decided to go with spartan easily stored bedroom furniture in case anyone wanted to decorate their room themselves (at their own expense).
Everything should be ready to move-in in the morning.
You can do the dedication first thing in the morning, then leave on your trip.
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*After a few long hours, the servants' quarters are finally completed.*
I, Count Reiner Heydrich, hereby dedicate this new extension to honour the commitment of the workforce.
*Opens the door to the new wing, amid cheers and applause.*
Now, I must leave you, for I am going on a fantastic journey!
My daughter, Vampire Schism, will be left in charge.
Farewell, I shall return some day, keep an eye out for Wally's postcards!
*Transforms into a bat and flies away.*