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Sovereign Court

*Goes over to the closet, looks inside, then shakes the head.*

Nope, no-one is there, sorry.

Sovereign Court

*Picks teeth clean with an arm bone, then throws it away.*

*BURP!*

*Goes into the leafy hammock to rest.*

Scarab Sages

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Malvel, The Dark Wizard wrote:

*Goes over to the closet, looks inside, then shakes the head.*

Nope, no-one is there, sorry.

Yeah, sorry about that. Important engagement.

Beelzebub had a table set aside for me...

Scarab Sages

*looks up from engineering grimoire*

Fermi...?

Dark Archive

*twists into the shape of a letter 'E'...*

FORM 'E'...!


FUR MEEEEEE!


:blistering guitar solo:

:literally. Your skin is horribly burned:

Sovereign Court

You're the one playing the guitar solo, so you are the one who's skin is getting blistered. Granted, it's still an unpleasant site to see.

Liberty's Edge

*provides SMOKE! PYROTECHNICS! EXPLOSIONS!!!*

Dark Archive

*examines GoatToucher carefully and with visible concern*

So...from the looks of it, I think that you are stoned, and someone has spit in your eye.

Sovereign Court

*Swings on a sturdy vine, swoops down and grabs The Amazing Vanzetti and Dr. Zephyrus Vitruvian (one in with my left paw and the other with my tail) swings back to the hammock to eat one and throw the other to Hellion the Firey Foe.*


Do you think you could fluff me* and leave meat, huge Thai?

*Not you, GoatToucher.


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Fluffy meat!
My favorite.

Sovereign Court

*BANG!*

*Shere Khan flops to the floor, dead, as the weilder of the shotgun steps into view.*

Finally! Now I can have a tigerskin rug of my own!

Sovereign Court

Ah, shuddup! You great big ninny of a half human half monster lunatic!

Sovereign Court

I think it's "i" before "e" when spelling wielder.

Sovereign Court

*Is now confused. Didn't the squat just tell at and insult Reiner not Fester? Still makes sense either way though.*


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Just a flesh would.


That's sad I had such a long streak going. well for this thread anyways.

Sovereign Court

*Throws another human skull at Vidmaster7, hitting him on the head, for no apparent reason.*


I see no reason to this skull throwing!

Sovereign Court

I don't like Vidmaster7 either.

*(Star Wars reference)*

Sovereign Court

Yes, the closest reasons I can think of to this are as follows:

1. Claw is an evil beast.
2. He's quite possibly bored.
3. There's always the chance that he likes throwing skulls.
4. And maybe he just doesn't like you, Vidmaster7.

Sovereign Court

*Is once again confused, but now believes that the forum is broken.*


*Thinks: There's a rug. Rugs need vacuuming. Maids operate vacuum cleaners. Therefore, if I hide behind these curtains and wait patiently for long enough, the fact that Mummy and Juliette have hidden the key to the servants' quarters in order to teach me a lesson won't matter!*

Sovereign Court

I know what you are thinking, my friend, to which I must say that it won't work. My rug can never get dirty and as part of the punishment, you have to use the vacuum cleaner yourself. Also, both your mother and your sister told me that if you are up to mischief, then I am to let them know immediately.

Sovereign Court

*Sees something odd in the hammock, picks it up to discover it's a key, stares at it for a while and then harshly lodges it into the nearest tree to my right.*

*Grunts a bit.*

*Sits in the hammock to rest.*


Does his friend no like me either?


Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:
I know what you are thinking, my friend, to which I must say that it won't work. My rug can never get dirty and as part of the punishment, you have to use the vacuum cleaner yourself. Also, both your mother and your sister told me that if you are up to mischief, then I am to let them know immediately.

Vacuum cleaners and punishment are two things that are very dear to my heart, alone or in combination. I don't mind.

Hold on.

How come you can hear my thoughts?

Sovereign Court

I've known for a very long time, my friend, I know exactly what you are thinking just by looking at you. Granted, I will not acknowledge EVERYTHING that you are thinking.


Count, using ESP on a Lady or Gentleman is simply Not Done, and besides, if you really want to know what my son is thinking, simply read his column in 'GoatToucher Weekly'

Sovereign Court

*Respectfully bows.*

I assure you, Dowager Comtesse de Malodor, I do not have ESP but have simply been around your son for so long that I have learnt what goes through his head just by noting the different expressions he makes (I'm sure that you and your daughter are the same, in being able to tell what he is thinking simply by looking at him). Also, I NEVER want to know what he is thinking, especially his articles in GoatToucher Weekly!


So many titles.


Yes, I know.

Sovereign Court

*Sees strange, multicoloured object growing on a vine above my head.*

*Inquisitive grunt.*

*Grabs the object, pulls it off the vine.*

*SNIFF, SNIFF.*

*Notes a pleasant aroma.*

*CHOMP!*

*Begins to eat it, only to discover it's a fruit.*

*BLEAGH!*

*Vomits the contents of my mouth onto Vidmaster7 (somehow, as he's nowhere near the jungle) and throws the rest of the fruit away in disgust. Only for it to go straight into the face of Dowager Comtesse de Malodor, causing her two children to laugh uncontrollably.*


I don' t know who you think it was but it wasn't me.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Bar-Igura vomit is the latest thing in Infernal beauty treatments, children, so you can stop snickering.


More of a milky way guy myself.


I like beans.


Chocoholic, but it needs to be pure chocolate - no nuts.

Sovereign Court

I agree, if you want nuts, then just read this thread! ;-)


Belphegor wrote:

Chocoholic, but it needs to be pure chocolate - no nuts.

:enters, sleeves rolled up, a bit worse for wear:

"holds up medium sized sack, dripping with fluid:

In an attempt to be accommodating, I have removed the testicles of all the posters and their subsidiaries. It was a dog's job, let me tell you: an lot of tough scrota around here. Gristly.

If you don't mind, I have a way to put them to good use.

I'll just be going.


You missed one!

*Clank*

Sovereign Court

I just made a bargain with GoatToucher instead. While he could still help himself to the scrota of my beasts (or at least, the male ones) as I can always use my magic to restore them, he could have the scrota of the Good Wizard, Aduro, as his would be much more "interesting" to use.


Honest Limey's 3 Brass Balls wrote:

You missed one!

*Clank*

:collects it, places it in sack:


Brr! Cold, isn't it?


So If you cut off a trolls arm it regenerates right? How many times will it regenerate? If you had a regenerating pig could you end world hunger? (With bacon!)

Sovereign Court

Careful, sometimes, when something regenerates it doesn't mean that it'll be better quality than before.

*Promptly sets Vidmaster7 on fire (no reason, just wanted to do it).*


Eh I've had worse.


HRGH!!!

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