Last one to post wins

[Zeno Loxley]

*pores over genealogical and geographic charts before spotting something*

...from the Po River, formally.

[The CLAW]

NONE SHALL SPARE YOUR LIVES FROM ME!!!

[Henry David Wickerman]

Easy there, come now.

[Xukong]

*lays out a Go board, extends claw-like hands in invitation*

It is easy to learn.

[Skiron]

*draws massive sigil under starlit sky*

Will you allow Mi-go?

[Nemesis Melek]

*presents golden unholy symbol toward Skiron's sigil as the alien fungi begin to land*

BISMILLAH, no!

Channel Force, negative energy damage: 3d6 ⇒ (3, 6, 5) = 14

[Vidmaster7]

That's probably a yes.

[The CLAW]

*GRAB*

*will not let Vidmaster7 go*

[Vidmaster7]

Uh go go gadget electrified beard?

[Pulg]

I would like to play a Chinese board game with my Ukrainian friend. Unfortunately, he doesn't speak English and I don't speak Ukrainian, so all I can do is point at the box and say, 'Vadim, Go?'

[Vidmaster7]

Whatever works.

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

*Stirs a broom sized, wooden, spoon inside a large cauldron that contains a gloopy,rancid smelling, green mixture.*

Yes, this batch shall be my finest concoction yet!

*Adds to the mixture, the following ingredients:*

Rat brains, lizard tails, a falcon's heart and the aqualung of a fish.

*Store the mixture a bit more, then scoops some of it out with a ladle into a large bowl and places the bowl on a nearby table.*

Vidmaster7, your soup is ready!

*Starts cleaning some dishes while grumbling about never betting anyone who can constantly grow beards, to be a chef for a week.*

[Comte de Malodor]

Magnifique!

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

Oi! That's not you! Go on, clear off!

*Stamps foot and shakes fist angrily, causes Comte de Malodor to quickly run away. After a while, goes back to cleaning the kitchen whilst shaking the head.*

I don't know, first I lose to Vidmaster7 in a game called "my beard grows faster than the flip of a coin", meaning I have to be his chef now for a week, and suddenly some fop-flop tries to steal it!

[Vidmaster7]

Make me a sub!

[Comte de Malodor]

Fourblaugeur de boubignoufflette! That's the last time I complement YOUR soup! Zinoenquelle! Espibonmahudèrgé!

[Vampire Schism]

You are not going to win just because you know fancy words.

[Comte de Malodor]

Tipognoninuine!

[Vidmaster7]

Is that a real word?

[The Sideromancer]

No

[Pulg]

How do you know?

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

The Sideromancer knows everything, obviously, although he isn't exactly fluent in the language (if it even is one) that Comte de Malodor speaks.

Oh and Comte de Malodor, I'm an EVIL wizard who was subjected to kitchen duty. So naturally, I'm going to be bad tempered.

[Vidmaster7]

Google.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*Wraps self in cloak, looking most offended.*

How dare you sir! What gives you the right to "Google" at me (or anyone, although Goattoucher and Comte de Malodor might like it).

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

Honestly, count, I thought you knew that EVERYONE who sports a great big bushy beard was a voyeuristic pervert.

[Vidmaster7]

o_O

[Yorg Warp-heart]

I share your confused and worried look, my hairy brother from another mother.

[Very concerned Vidmaster7]

I feel us hairy high and lows are being stereotyped.

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

Only if you are a wizard, Vidmaster7, which you do look like every now and then (particularly with those glasses you are currently sporting).

[Pulg]

I'm a big bushy beard

[Comte de Malodor]

And I'm a voyeuristic pervert.

[Lady Blackmoor]

Oh, Satan's shrivelled b*%&!!~s, stick to your own species at least, Alphonse.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Good grief, Lady Blackmoor, getting your brother to do that is like trying to reap the soul of a turkey dinner or getting Goattoucher to give up his "habits", or me to stop drinking blood (it's difficult, slightly amusing but completely pointless).

[Vidmaster7]

See and Malodor doesn't even have a beard.

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

Think about it for a second. >:)

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

You my good sir are SICK!

[Completly horrified Vidmaster7]

o_O

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

No offence, but it's kinda your own fault for you feeling completely horrified. All because you decided to "Google" something that I thought was me. And I doubt you intend to clear your name.

[Public Safety Annunciation]

But then did an angel of the LORD appear unto Vidmaster, wreathed in a great cloud of smoke, and appearing like unto an pillar of bright fire. Quoth the angel, "Lo! I bring to thee dire tidings, that thou hast left thy personal computer in a state of great unlockedness, and see! Thy Mother or fair Spouse are searching with much searchings amongst thy Bookmarks and Viewed Pages, so I say unto thee, fly! Fly! And delete thy browsing history, or red Shame shall be thy garment from henceforthin."

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

I'm afraid that simply won't work. The viewed pages have already been hacked by Goattoucher and uploaded by him to his own personal website.

[Vidmaster 1st edition]

Its all over now.

[Pulg]

But GoatToucher's website is only accessible via a special search engine - GoatTORcher! Ha! Ha! Ha! Internet themed joke time!

[Very_Noisy_Cricket]

*chirp*

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

*Brings foot over Very_Noisy_Cricket and promptly squashes the insignificant little insect.*

Aha!

*CRUNCH!*

Mwahaha!

*Checks to see if the cricket is dead (and it is), only to realise that I now need to clean my shoe.*

YUCK!

[Very_Noisy_Cricket]

*CHIRP*

[Vampire Schism]

You forgot the fire. Now it has regenerated.

[GoatToucher]

My efforts on the internet have been... fruitful.

[Pulg]

I'd be surprised if both fruit and fullness weren't involved somehow or other.

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

I believe that you mean this.

*Shows Pulg (on his own personal computer) an erotic (that's puke-worthy to normal people like me) video of GoatToucher doing - something - without fruit or fullness.*

Before you (temporarily) die Pulg, I think that you ought to know that Vidmaster7 and Comte de Malodor gave this particular video a 5/5 star review. Thankfully however, all ten thousand dirty messages were written solely by Comte de Malodor.