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Grandpa - at last! Perhaps you can settle a dispute we're having about your will, since Heydrich went and burned it...

Sovereign Court

*Gets down on hands and knees, in both frustration and sorrow.*

For the last time, I said I was really sorry!

*Starts to cry (which is most un-vampirely).*


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Heh, kids these days.

* reaches behind Heydrich's ear and pulls out a gold coin *

You really should clean out your ears more often. Wait, this isn't a real coin.

* twists open the coin and pulls out several sheets of parchment that are far too large to fit inside a coin *

Why, it's a copy of the will.

* looks at the parchment *

Well, I'll be...
I guess I was the Notary Public for this document and just plain forgot. Now, who was the executor of the estate again?


I think it was 'the' Poog of Zarongel, which explains a great deal.


(comes out of the estate, holding the decapitated heads of the estate's servants)

Poog be great executiotor!


Can he even read the will?


That would explain the pictures underneath the words in the will.

Sovereign Court

Actually, that was how I read the will. Poog is in actual fact blind, fortunately the will is also in goblin braille (which, for some reason, causes wizards to throw their arms around and indulge in some unwizardly cursing).

Sovereign Court

By that, I mean just as vampires are not supposed to cry, wizards are not supposed to use bad words.


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You've never played poker with Merlin - that boy can make a sailor blush with his choice of words. And he's got nothing on Gandalf after a few drinks.


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And all in mellifluous High Elven, too.


:( no one liked my pickle pun.


Pickles aren't funny.


Pickles be tasty, though.

*MUNCH MUNCH*

*BELCH!!*


I don't even like pickles but a good pun is a good pun!


I'll let you know when I hear one.


:P

Liberty's Edge

*BOOPBOOPBOOPBOOOPBOOPBOOPBOOPBOOPBOOPBOOPBOOP*

*abruptly plows through the room swinging an electrified axe*


I'll just uh be hiding over here in the corner till your done uh take your time.

Sovereign Court

Vidmaster7, do you remember me showing the clip of you building R2-FU in the first place? Because you should know that you will be the intended target while everyone else is just in the robots way.

*Places a winning poker hand on the table.*

Sorry Merlin, but my straight flush beats your four aces.


Such language!

And I didn't realise there was such a spell as Power Word: Fiddlesticks! until now.


*Plays the guitar, hellfire bursts occasionally emerging*

Liberty's Edge

*BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!WHHHSSSSSHHHHH*

*sprays The Fiend Fantastic and guitar with liquid-helium fire extinguisher*


Well sounds like I should hide behind The count then.

Sovereign Court

He's still going to successfully kill you, he's just going to kill me first. Even then, I'm not worried, I always come back to life. You however, Vidmaster7, only possess an immortal beard.

Liberty's Edge

*PSSSSSSSSSTTTCHHHpopcracklecrackleBINGBINGBING!PHOOOOP!*

*cooks a garlic steak in internal grill, fires it at 350 FPS straight at Count Reiner Hydrich*

Sovereign Court

*Prepares for impact, only to see a stray dog (or maybe it's just some unholy hybrid of two things that should never be blended together) leap up and snatch the steak and proceeds to run away with it.*

Ok, so that happened, moving on.

*Walks away, leaving Vidmaster7 alone in GoatToucher's workroom with R2-FU.*


I'll take a steak. medium please.


If she's any good at all, the medium'll know in advance you're going to 'stake' her and run away!!!! Yuk yuk yuk yuuuuuu!


*Torches Chuck Les with a dual scorching ray for that comment*

Liberty's Edge

Vidmaster7 wrote:
I'll take a steak. medium please.

*deploys electric razor attachment, advances slowly on Vidmaster7*

*WHRMWHRMWHRMWHRMWHRM....*

*also deploys electric toothbrush attachment for some reason*

*WHIIIIIIIRRRRR!!!*


AHH My beard! ... wait are you trying to say something about my breath ? -_-


It's the pickles.


Beep


proooorooooROOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!


I see we are moving from undead to fae. I suppose that is an improvement.


Not if you're a necromancer.


Vidmaster7 wrote:
Beep

Beep Beep

Sovereign Court

I'm sorry to disappoint you, my dear flight-footed birdie, but only one beep was required. They then put it on repeat.

*Rides away on a steamroller, accidentally trampling anyone who is in the way.*

Sorry guys!


A steamroller with feet. Whatever will they think of next, eh?


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Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

* sits up after being run over by the steamroller, looking rather flat *
* sticks thumb in mouth and re-inflates *

Dangit Count. Watch where you're going.

Pulg, it's amazing the things one can find at yard sales.

* looks at ground at pile of ceramic pieces *

Oh, great! Thanks a lot, Count! That vase was a gift from Grandpa Wonderbra for The Fiend Fantastic.


That's okay. Grandpa has a dozen more, one from each grandkid.


*hovers out of way of rampaging steamroller*
*Reconstructs vase from broken pieces*
*continues to observe chaos*


Im a jeep.

Sovereign Court

I do apologise for my antics as I felt everything reached a whole new level of silliness. Besides, sometimes you just can't get to talk to the right people (like when I wanted to speak to Jokey about the heritage of his son). But enough of that, I have more important and entertaining things to do!

*Begins crafting a portal.*

I was busy touring earth the other day and learnt of a dragon named Spyro. While he does not interest me, his various world's and foes do! Plus there's this greedy bear named Moneybags who needs to spend time in GoatToucher's workroom. Can I have some assistance please?


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A bear giving us other bears a bad name? Oh, yes, count me in.

Sovereign Court

Marvelous! Your aid in this endeavour is greatly appreciated and shall be highly rewarded. Now I need two other Spellcasters (the third is myself) to channel magical energy into the portal to make it work once it's built.

Those who help me can have any homeworld and portals in them. Except for the whole of Avalar for that's my stake of claim (the gems in Avalar are up for grabs).


ALERT: Conquest of other worlds will not be tolerated.

You can visit as much as you want, and we will even overlook some minor assault and looting, but actually attempting to take over any other worlds will provoke retaliation.


RETALIATION? PAH! ZORDLON LAUGHS AT YOUR FEEBLE ATTEMPTS AT DETERRENCE, LIKE THIS:

TEE HEE HEE.

Sovereign Court

Attention, Drone of the Iron Federation, the portal I'm crafting is to bring the world of this "Spyro the Dragon" to us for I intend to recruit the monsters of Avalar and (technically conquering) the realms of Avalar shall be my new home. Plus, if you help me, you may have a share in the other worlds.

*Clears throat.* So, hears the plan:

1. Craft the portal (I'm not much of a builder but I'll do what I can).
2. I and two other Spellcasters must channel magical energy into the portal to activate it.
3. Claim the rewards!

*Looks at everyone.*

Here's the list of worlds (including the three from Avalar - Ripto's Rage - which I have already claimed):
Spyro the Dragon (1st game):
1.Artisans
2. Peace Keepers
3. Magic Crafters
4. Beast Makers
5. Dream Weavers
6. Gnasty's World
7. Dragon Shores

Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage! (2nd game):
1. Summer Forest
2. Autumn Plains
3. Winter Tundra

Spyro: Year of the Dragon (3rd game):
1. Sunrise Spring
2. Midday Gardens
3. Evening Lake
4. Midnight Mountain

Spyro: A Hero's Tail (5th game):
1. Dragon Kingdom
2. Lost Cities
3. Icy Wilderness
4. Volcanic Isles

Spyro: Season of Ice (6th game):
1. Autumn Fairy Home
2. Winter Fairy Home
3. Spring Fairy Home
4. Summer Fairy Home

Spyro 2: Season of Flame (8th game):
1. Sunny Plains
2. Celestial Plains
3. Starry Plains

As you can see, there are many homeworlds to choose from (excluding my three) and all the realms in each homeworld is part of the deal. Finally: gems, dragon eggs, orbs and talismans are of no use or interest to me, so you can have them.

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