False factoids


Forum Games

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Schism knows when the next Tool album is coming out, but won't say.


KahynaGnorc keeps turning up to Tool gigs with both a flathead and a posidrive screwdriver and gets very upset when they won't let him play with them.

Scarab Sages

Pulg can apply torque to two screws simultaneously using his nostrils!

Sovereign Court

And if that wasn't impressive, Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis has invented a machine that can apply torque to an infinite number of screws simultaneously without having to lift a finger.


Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia 's title is but the reflection of his skills, his alignment is actually quite evil.

Sovereign Court

How dare you say that! There can only be ONE evil Wizard, ME, and I will not have some meddlesome Aasimar who is no more fiendish than a buttercup and no more fantastic than a million rope burns suggest otherwise! Especially when talking about Aduro!


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Malvel, using means that I shudder to contemplate, manages to cosplay both Betty and Veronica at the same time.

Sovereign Court

Pulg has clearly never heard of magic before.

Scarab Sages

Nosferatu Fester Addams would *love* some cheese!


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The Clown Prince of Closets makes the cheese in his secret laboratory.


Shere Khan used to work a chuckwagon and went by the name of Shere Cookie.


JTDV has a cousin that's a TV exec, running JD-TV.


KahnyaGnorc has a Swedish cousin, TetraPakyaGnorc.

Sovereign Court

Pulg is his own cousin.


Panther Flauclaws never uses a litterbox.

Sovereign Court

He's a robot, so he doesn't need to. Anyway, that's better than the fact that you use your master's prize winning sand pit as a litter box.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Nosferatu Fester Addams gave said master the prize for the sand pit. Ironically, Kat's Eye was the prize...

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc traveled to the sun, received an audience with the Sun Lord, survived the four trials of the Kiva of Lions, the Kiva of Serpents, the Kiva of Bees, and the Kiva of Lightning, and all she got was this lousy +5 Prismatic Robe.

Sovereign Court

Only IHIYC thinks that the "+5 Prismatic Robe" is lousy because he doesn't like the colour. And he has a full wardrobe of them.


Panter Flauclaws will catch that Prismatic Laserpointer dot one of these days . . . oh, yes, one of these day.


KahnyaGnorc is the unacknowledged love child of the Invisible Man.


Belphegor is also available in Antique Bronze and Hammered Chrome.

Scarab Sages

Pulg took one look at the black hole picture and called out, "Oi, waitress! You burned me eggs!"


IHIYC once did risque films under the pseudonym I'm Hiding In Your Black Hole.

Sovereign Court

*Has evidence in it's mouth that KahnyaGnorc was the director of all the risque films that IHIYC starred in.*


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Reiner's Tigerskin Rug was the centrepiece of the set on many of said films, surrounded by lava lamps, sofas covered in pink flock and posters of 'Dr. Hook' and 'Three Dog Night'.


Pulg provided the sofas, stuffed with his hair.

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc is 25% tin, 14% vinylon, 9% polyester, and 0.2% manzanita.


For best results, pair I'm Hiding In Your Closet with zinfandel, churros, and cheese.

Sovereign Court

Despite what is seen in his avatar, JTDV is neither snarling nor is he about to spit out an acidic projectile, he is actually suffering from a terrible mucus infection caused by being paired with some ginger beer.

Sovereign Court

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia is in fact rated "GREAT Wizard" on his area's local hookup site, AvantiaMadison.com.


Mercutio knows this because he is a frequent visitor to that site.


Schism is the result of a dalliance between a Dryad and a compendium of bad halfling jokes - "The Rose Book of the Marches" - polymorphed into an attractive Elf warrior with a thong by a lonely Ewok enchantress from the Andoran lands.


Quiche Lisp had been alive forever, when he wore the very first thong.

Dark Archive

Pulg once terrorized a small town as the monstrous, halberdgun-wielding "TubaHead".


Xanax Candledark is nobody's mummy. She's an aunt, and uncle, and third cousin, twice remove, once returned, and four times exchanged.

Sovereign Court

*Holds a receipt showing that KahnyaGnorc was once exchanged for a boatload of adorable puppies that were to be turned into ice cream.*


Claw, the Giant Monkey also used to be adorable. Back then it was "Awwwww the Giant Monkey". But then puberty took its toll.


JTDV once had a job as a puberty toll-collector. It isn't as glamorous as you'd imagine.


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KahnyaGnorc is a marriage guidance counsellor for gelatinous cubes.


Pulg is part Sasquatch, on his mother's side.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Cluny the Scourge's greatest scourging was the after-affect of the movie "Batman & Robin" had on the Batman franchise and super-hero films in general for years afterward.

Grand Lodge

KahnyaGnorc once won a staring contest with a mirror.

She saw her reflection blink.

Sovereign Court

Ekanta Hanoi is the reflection of everyone except himself, for he lives in the mirror, in every mirror, staring back at you with empty eyes.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia, once was only an "okay" wizard, but was inspired by ancient runes sent via the mystical "chat channel" of a game . . . "GIT GUD."

Sovereign Court

KahnyaGnorc assisted me in creating the game.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Malvel, The Dark Wizard, did reject a number of Easter Eggs I proposed for the game, said they were too-brightly dyed.

Sovereign Court

KahnyaGnorc was, however, able to include customisable fairy guides to accompany players. However, KahnyaGnorc felt that most of the clothing options for the fairies should be very revealing and the fairies were also stuck having bare feet at all times.


What Panter doesn't realise is that we could either have shoes or accordions, and by Oberon, I think we made the right choice.


Pulg's Fairy Accordian Band has vowed vengeance upon their greatest rival . . . "Weird Al" Yankovic!

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