Baldwin the Merciful's: We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master baldwin the merciful

We be Lick toads! We make raid!
Put the longshank s to the blade!♫ ♪♫
Burn them up from feet to head,
Mak e them hurt, then make them dead!♫
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Lick toads - you be food!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♫

A We Be Goblins Adventure Addyv'nture.


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Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

"We sent by Gutwad,says we okay. We kill you not run away today!"
Casting Bless.


"Gutwad, butt wad, Stinky like poo." he cackles in a goblin rhyme.

Sparque and Friegaar have actions remaining.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Can I reach high enough to hit Vorka with my longspear if I move to W22?


Evil GM

With the longspear yes you can poke him until he moves onto the ceiling.


Evil GM

RD 2: DMPC Friegaar

The goblin hefts his mighty greataxe once again tryin to chop down on the squirmy frog,

"Froggy gud eats."

att: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9;damage: 1d10 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5

There is loud crunching sound as he misses wide.


Evil GM

Sparque still has his RD 2 action to take, he can take it when he logs on.

RD 3:

Initiative Order:

Mog -
Vorka/Longtongue -
Freigaar
Sparque
Zunk
Burner

RD 3 Map

Mog take your action.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque grimaces as his shards slice Freigaar's posterior.

Gulping madly he moves to stick the demon Vorka...

Round 2

Move Action: Move to W22

Standard Action: Attack Vorka

Jabstab: 1d20 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (9) + 1 + 1 = 11 [0 BAB, +0 Str, +1 size, +1 bardic performance]
Splopkt: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"I believe there is supposed to be a kaboom. AN EARTH-SHATTERING KABOOM!!!" He aims and lets the skyrocket fly towards the goblin eater. It explodes in a beautiful shower fire and sparks. Blue. My favorite color. KILL IT WITH FIRE i always say.

Fire damage DC 15 Ref: 2d6 ⇒ (3, 6) = 9

And what does fire need. How about more fire? After aiming, Mog spins out of the backblast and hurls his own fiery missile.

Ranged Touch+mutagen+IC: 1d20 + 6 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (8) + 6 + 2 + 1 = 17
MAOR FIRE DAMAGE DC 12 Ref for splash: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Ooh ooh ooh! Hit me hit me oh firework and bomb splash damage!!!

Reflex DC 12: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (17) + 4 = 21 to avoid bombsplash?

Is the firework bursty/need I make save???

Confirming I am in W22


Evil GM

Sparque moved (at the end of Rd 2) and jabbed at the wall clinging goblin but he missed. Just as he misses there's loud BOOM as Mog's skyrocket explodes. The devious cackle of the Sparque's companion echoes within the confined cabin

Updated Map


reflex 1: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7

reflex 2: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23

"Grrrrrwwww, I'll cut you're tasti testies and gnawl on 'em like meatballs."

Vorka lets out cry and creates a flare in front of Mog.
DC 12 fort save or dazzled for 1 minute

Longtongue's reflex:

LT: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23

The singe frog bites at friegaar again,

bite: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14;damage: 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 10


Evil GM

RD 3:

Initiative Order:

Mog - skyrocket and flame
Vorka/Longtongue - flare at Mog, bite at friegaar missed
Freigaar
Sparque
Zunk
Burner


Evil GM

RD 3: Freigaar

The frustrated goblin hacks at the grog again,

att: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17;dam: 1d10 + 3 ⇒ (10) + 3 = 13

"Stay still so I kill yous."

with that blow he slices off two frog legs for dinner as the creature dies.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Frustration setting in at Vordka not coming down off the wall, Burn teeth Biter moves over to the opposite corner of the room.
Moving to W,19
"If you won't come down then I'll make you fall down!"
Calling upon the energy's of the dark God he angrily fills the room with a blast of Negative energy.
Channel negative Energy Will save Dc.11: 1d6 ⇒ 6


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Fine, Zunk will just kill Vorka! He draws his bow and fires it at the mad witch.

Attack: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5
Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 2


Evil GM

Sparque you're up in RD 3


Will save: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12

The ripples of the magical energy wash over the maniacal druid, she cackles insanely. "I drink holy blood with testies."


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque keeps plunging his longspear skyward with little effect, his ring of make real guud climb warming on his finger...

Round 3

Standard Action: Attack Vorka

Stickstick!!!: 1d20 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 + 1 = 6 [0 BAB, +0 Str, +1 size, +1 bardic performance]
Ksakt!!!: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2 [+1 bardic performance]

Rounds of Performance left - 1


Evil GM

Sparque's ring warms but he misses his attack. are you climbing the wall yet?

RD 4:

Initiative Order:

Mog -
Vorka/Longtongue -
Freigaar
Sparque
Zunk
Burner


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Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

RD 4

Fort vs Dazzle: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14

Mog covers his precious stones at Vordka' threat. "You stay away from Mogmurch's precious. You like stick to wall? Make you stick better." The goblin alchemist moves forward like bad Michael Jackson impersonation and tosses a tanglefoot bag at the wall crawler.

Bag toss: 1d20 + 6 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 6 + 2 + 1 = 12

Move within range and standard to toss bag. Entangled if hit and DC 15 Ref to not be stuck to the ceiling.


reflex: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11

"O'this no guud, Vorka sticky to wall, glad she's got no wicky." she contemplates her predicament. The light bulb goes off over her head. "Vorka agree not to eat yous, Vorka lets you live and go away...Vorka even give you boom boom sticks to go away. Guud deal for yous, not so guud deal for Vorka, but Vorka ok with it."


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Gasp. Five fireworks? Five glorious flaming missiles to light up the night in a fantastic projection of pyrotechnic perfection. Oh the conundrum. Does he take he fireworks? Does he leave behind these poor souls to be eaten in the most foul and painful way possible? Does he return as the only goblin left of the group to the praise and adoration of the tribe and Chief Gutwad?

Do you have to ask? Of course. Existential crisis averted.

"Where boom boom sticks?" he asks, the agreement implied.


I had a type Mog it should vae been "give" not "five' but five works too.

"Me give boom boom AND bang bangs, but me stuck to wall." She pauses, "Purti colors bluuuuuus and reds and orangy." As she watches Mog dance around like a goblin in heat.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

@DM/Baldwin: To be honest I don't see that Sparque thinks he needs to. He still quite capable of missing from here on the ground…;P

After Freigaar…

Sparque is not buying Vorka's routine. He stabs again at the stuck goblin-eating goblin.

"Mog - use head. If Vorka dead we take everything. Lose nothing, and take Vorka head to Gutwad. Is simple. Kill Vorka."

Round 4

Standard Action: Attack Vorka

Pokepoke!!!: 1d20 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 + 1 = 13 [0 BAB, +0 Str, +1 size, +1 bardic performance]
Schbott!!!: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5 [+1 bardic performance]

Rounds of Performance left - 0


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Burner wasn't too terribly impressed by Vordka's diplomacy attempt, but he was impressed with how hard to hit and resilient Vordka was. He knew that he didn't have much power left.

"No, deal not good enough. We no get eaten, we get all boom booms and bang bangs, and promise of helps if we ever sees you again. Big promise, no lies, no exceptions! Else we kill." He stared hard at Vordka.


Sensing her feeble attempt of negotiation is going no where, she reverts back to what she knows best. "Ok...I eat you then, sux eyes and chew tongue out first."

She reaches into her pocket {MA} and drops a dart on Sparque's head.

dart, glue: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (3) + 5 - 2 = 6;damage: 1d3 ⇒ 1

She cackles relentlessly as the dart misses by a foot.


Sparques attack hit vorka (-4 DEX from the tanglefoot) and she winces in pain.

"No pokey, no pokey." She whines.


Evil GM

Friegaar steps over the frog careful not to squish his lunch and swings his greax ax over Sparque's head at Vorka.

att: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11;damage: 1d10 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12

The axe misses and just avoids giving Sparque a haircut.

D 4:

Initiative Order:

Mog - tanglefoot bag
Vorka/Longtongue - dropped dat
Freigaar - 5 ft step and missed
Sparque - hit with spear for 5 HP
Zunk
Burner

Updated RD 4 Map


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk Vorka-Slayer even better! Zunk thinks as he fires an arrow at her.

Attack: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14
Damage: 1d4 + 1d4 ⇒ (4) + (2) = 6


The arrow pierces the even more evil goblin as he barely survives stuck to the wall by the gooey substance. "Longtongue ....momma meet yous soon..."


Evil GM

Burner you are up then we get to RD 5, if Vorka is alive.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Burner throws a dagger at Vordka.

attack: 1d20 + 3 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 3 + 1 + 1 = 24

Critical Confirmation: 1d20 + 3 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (9) + 3 + 1 + 1 = 14

Damage: 1d3 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 + 1 = 4


Evil GM

Vorka lifeless body oozes it's corrupt life forces down the wall as it sticks there. A sense of calm develops in the room as Vorka and her companion lay dead. Then suddenly the goblins are overcome by a their greed to be the first to loot the Vorka's body and treasure chest!!!

What are you all doing?


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Looting Vordka.

"Ha ha. We be better than Vordka!"


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque lets out an exhausted, hoarse and ragged cry. He sees Burn look to loot finally uses his ring of make guud climbing to try to reach and pry loose Vordka, and lower the fell goblin to the ground so looting can involve much arguing, wrestling and gouging.

Climb: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20 [+5 ring of climbing]


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Forget the smelly goblin eater. Chests always had the best loot. And as such, Mogmurch wanted it. He pulls out smoke stick and tosses it into the cabin. And in the confusion he noisily attempts to drag the chest out.


Evil GM

Mog lights off a smoky stick then moves to the chest to try to tug it from the room. The chest must be filled with lots of goodies, since Mog can only budge it a short distance. The thick smoke begins to fill the large cabin.

Meanwhile Spargue frees the sticky eorka from the wall, permitting it to looted and violated in proper goblin fashion. The scrum begins.

What is everyone else doing?


Evil GM

loot on Vorka:

potions of cure light wounds (3), potions of barkskin +2 (1), Desnan candle, leather armor, scimitar, and 5 darts.

Goblin loot in the room and chest:

Among the more obviously valuable objects are 140 gp, a bejeweled silver and jade lantern built to look like a coiled dragon worth 150 gp, a dozen masterwork shuriken, an ivory and gold fan depicting a gecko walking amid cherry blossoms worth 80 gp (the reverse side of this fan has been used by Vorka to draw a crude map of Brinestump, not unlike the one Scribbleface created, and contains a secret that the goblins are unlikely to decipher anytime soon), a long hairpin with a red pearl at one end worth 150 gp, a wand of create food and water with only 2 charges left, and an elixir of love in a crystal vial shaped like a heart (the vial itself is worth 50 gp).

The red chest, though, is the object of the PCs’ quest. Unlocked, it contains several fireworks. The chest itself is heavy and worth 150 gp, and there were obviously once many more fireworks within (Scribbleface managed to steal many of them by sneaking into this room while Vorka was out hunting), but those that remain should be more than enough to satisfy the chief for at least a few days. The fireworks in the chest consist of 14 Desnan candles, 20 paper candles, and seven skyrockets.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque's eyes goggle at the hoard. Then his brow creases, and his eyes narrow. A lot. He points his longspear at his allies, not that he sees much in the smoky interior.

"We not tell Gutwad 'bout extras. We dee-vyde extras. Or we die here and now fyting 'bout extras. Who dum? Who smart? Big world outside Licktoad tribe. Sparque is want to see. With loot.
If we take extra loot home, Gutwad end up with fat pockets…
"

The little goblin's spear wavers slightly as he expends the last of his thoughts.

"So…"

Or "Why the absence of deliberate action and the act of deliberating has killed "intelligent" goblins"…


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Biter looked back at Sparque from looting Vordka's body. He grinned at the very enterprising Goblin.

"Hmm, yes. We deevyde extras. No one need to see we have more than others. Gutwad says we be okay, and we take back fireworks. That what we do... also Scribbleface and Vordka's head. I okay with this, though maybe sleeps first before seeing heading back to tribe and seeing big world."


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Fireworks! Fireworks everywhere for his head was buried in the chest, rubbing against the glorious treasure. Forgot the loot, the shinies, the food. This was worth it. Wonderful fireworks.

Since the chest was too heavy to move, Mogmurch stuffed his pockets, backpack, shoes, waistband, and anywhere else he could find room with all of them. When everything was settled somewhere, he took off excitedly, leaving the others far behind. He didn't think about a promotion, or treasure, or any other goodies from Gutwad's great pockets. His head was filled with bright lights, sparks, and explosions. All these fireworks were bound to make a great show.

So he hauled ass back to the goblin village as quick as he could, only stopping if a firework fell out.

"I've got a lovely bunch of boom sticks, de dede.
There they are laying in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head.
Give them a light, fly in the night.
That's what Mogmurch says."


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque watches Mog (and the fireworks) leave with little interest.

Watch out for attercops and goblin eating spiders Mog…

He thinks hard, again. And nods to Burn.

"Yeah, yeah. We take heads to Gutwads. No loot for his pockits."

Going to take some discussion on moving on to the ….Discussion thread

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