Baldwin the Merciful's: We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master baldwin the merciful

We be Lick toads! We make raid!
Put the longshank s to the blade!♫ ♪♫
Burn them up from feet to head,
Mak e them hurt, then make them dead!♫
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Lick toads - you be food!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♫

A We Be Goblins Adventure Addyv'nture.


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Everyone stomps - mostly out of fear - when the barbarian begins his chant. "he be bestest, bedd'r than best." One enthusiastic offers at the end of the song. He clearly doesn't want to be on the receiving end of goblins punch.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

"Chop the horses,
run them through,
Slice the dogs,
then make stew!

Burn the houses,
bite the men,
from the shadows,
we will win!

Killing Lotslegs... may be hard,
Killing Vorka if she live,
Many swings, I will give,
If not work, then make them charred!

We are licktoads,
we be brave,
We be warriors,
and we aim to misbehave!"

Bag #1


Chief Gutwad bobs his head, "I like part about stew, fuud be guud." He shrugs, "You pick pocket...ok too."


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Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"Mogmurch tough
he take test,
eats the fuud
show he be best.

first is apple then is slug,
eat them...chew them...
BLLAAAAALFBLDEBFLBNELPIBUASE

Me am mog...mRUK...
not feel so guud...
still sing song...
because he should...
BALASDBFILUEBLFLDEF

He is...urg...tough
he is strong...
He can sing...*Burp*
all day...ABNLIBFGLIBUEAVLIBELAIBV"

Unfortunately that is as far as he can get before dry heaving for a few minutes then passing out in his own vomit. Committed goblin right there.


All the goblins are simply enjoying watching Mog turn eight shades of green, so they are hooting and holler along with his attempt.

The chief slaps his knee at the attempt.


Pocket song results:

Freigaar - pocket 3
Sparque - pocket 4
Zunk - pocket 7
Biter - pocket 1
Mogmurch - pocket 2

The goblin tribe all inches closer on the ground, excitedly waiting what's in the chief's pockets. I'll get the items up tomorrow, I'm feeling a bit under the weather.


Mighty Chief Gutwad grins, "Mighty guud stuff be in my pockets, me have best pockets." He slides his chubby fingers in pocket and pulls out a pointy hat of dark blue felt, embroidered in silver thread with stars. One golbin feints at the sight of such a wonderful gift. The chief hands that hat to Zunk. "Lucky hat, guud mojo."

He quickly stuff's his other hand into a pocket a pulls out a clay jar filled with stinky orc's foot cheese, a true delicacy as he hand's it to Freigaar. You notice a chunk of it is missing. "Me fav'rit."

He wormy fingers slide in a small inside pocket and hands over to Sparque a pair of fancy silky red slippers, embroidered with gold thread. "Keep toesys warm, when sleep."

He reaches in a deep pocket to remove Mogmurch's item a dwarven drinking horn with a strange drinking scene etched on it. "Me waited long time to steal this, but Chief nimble like cat and git it." the though of this chief ever being nimble is quite shocking.

Lastly he pulls out for Biter a jar full of picked white mice. The Chief's wet's his lips as his stomach talks to the tribe. "Maybe you have guud mojo now."

When all the commotion settles down it is announced, "They leave tomor'w, go git chief fireworks or not come back."


Evil GM

The next morning arrives a bit to early for a couple of you now that the task is on hand. Partying and receiving special gifts was surely more fun than actually having to go work.

Knowledge local check (DC 10) if you have it. If you do not have it you can make a check but I'll need you to roll a a d100 also. 50% and less you don't remember you that you could take 10. For those with a DC 10 and above check out the campaign info tab and the spoiler of "what the goblins Know.".


Slorb come begins to rouse the goblin heroes the morning. "You be gone." He kicks dirt on several of you. "Chief give you this." He hands over Scribblefaces crudely drawn map.

there is a link under the Campaign Information Tab to a map that I've drawn.

"Bring fireworks back t'day or don't come back." He emphasizes the word don't. "You heroes... chief give you these." He dumps the remaining fireworks on the ground near the dwindling bonefire.

There are two Desnan candles, four paper candles, and a skyrocket.

The firework rules are under the campaign info tab.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Knowledge local: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Did Mogmurch vomit enough to be rid of the sickened state from the apple?


Evil GM

unfortunately for Mog...nope. But I'll let you try another fort save as you suck down some strange goblin remedy that involves 3 dead roaches mushed with a spring of dandelion and roasted turnip greens.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (9) + 5 - 2 = 12

lasglibuvlaibrilvabvj. What was the original DC? I failed didn't?


The yummy cockroach potion seems to have settled your tummy. Your sickness is gone.

"C t'ld yuus guud fer belly."


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque sits up and see the dirt besmirching his once fine red sleeping slippers of awesome power. Gifted to him by none other than Gutwad. He mentally lists Slorb for the eight time on his "list of evildoers".

He looks at the assembled rocketry and armament. He grabs the largest munition, and holds it to the sky as a prize.

"Me take this!"

Note this is prime time for someone to scoop it out of his hands…


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Once cured, Mogmurch wastes no time in christening his new cup, filling it with all manor of beverage, almost to the point where he negates the affects of the cure. But he remains lucid and jumps at the sight of the skyrocket. "Mine," he says snatching the firework and fondling it like a precious toy.


"You zoom zoom make boom and kaboo." He smirks.


Most of the tribe comes around as you pack you gear to praise you and slap you on your back, but mostly to inventory your sleeping locations. Who could blame them you are going on a death mission and well, some you had better sleeping spots and stuff then they did. "If yuu no come back, dibs."

Eventually, ready or not, you are pushed off for your big adventure.


Evil GM

Who is carrying what fireworks and who has the map? More importantly did you bother to even look a the map to figure out where you are walking?

Can I get a general marching order? Right now you are in the swamp, and the paths can be wide enough for all four of you across, but often gets to be little more than game path wide.

The marsh itself is relatively difficult to navigate, with numerous
stretches of deep water that must be skirted and thick tangles of stinging nettles.


Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

Freigaar is the first to rush and get the map. "Freigaar takes map 'cause Freigaar leads!". He then walks up to the fireworks and srcatches his head, staring at them with a puzzled look. "This not look like fireworks, fireworks is like fire sparks in the air. This just stuff! But paper is good", he declares, snatching up a couple of paper candles.

Remember to take 10: 1d100 ⇒ 96
Knowledge (local) (DC 10): 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (11) - 1 = 10

After stuffing the two paper candles in his pockets, Freigaar takes a look at the map. "Okay, we follow creek to old shipwreck and then... ooooh, wreck in Vorka swamp! This bad, very bad." He takes off the group and walks in front of them without waiting for anyone, though, soon enough, all the goblins are marching together through Brinestump Marsh. Every time someone tries to take Freigaar's place in the lead, he shakes his head and threatens the usurper! "You go behind Freigaar!" The other goblins are probably glad to have him walking around as cannon fodder, anyway.


Evil GM

Swamp map

*Is this marching order ok with everyone?


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

I vote we give the fireworks to the alchemist who has throw anything as a bonus feat.

Would you guys like me to scout ahead of the group? I have this hilarious +18 stealth.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

If an alchemist uses the Desnan candle does he still get the -4?

Mogmurch is unconcerned with the mission after laying his hands on the firework and follows along willingly.


Evil GM

You have the throw anything feat but you are not really throwing the Desnan candle they are being launched. I don't have time right now, but look to see if this question has been posted on the boards.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

True, nevermind. I didn't realize they were all fireworks. I saw candle and ignored it. Anyone mind if Mogy takes all or mort of them?


Evil GM
Zunk wrote:

I vote we give the fireworks to the alchemist who has throw anything as a bonus feat.

Would you guys like me to scout ahead of the group? I have this hilarious +18 stealth.

I'm sure Freigaar is fine with you scouting ahead as long as that means you stay behind and he goes first. Haha...he's strong, he goes first.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

"Zunk find good mushrooms in area, he be back soon." Zunk ducks into the side forest, but once out of sight of the party he moves ahead of them to scout.

Stealth: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (12) + 18 = 30
Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Sleight of Hand: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (15) + 8 = 23
Sleight of Hand: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12

Since no one took the Desnan candles he takes those as well and attempts to swipe the paper candles from Freigaar Stingtooth and the Skyrocket from Sparque.


Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

Perception (Zunk's Stealth): 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16
Perception (Mogmurch's Sleight of Hand): 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 4 = 8

Freigaar barely notices when Zunk sneaks away, until he looks around and finds him missing. He screams "Where be fat goblin?!? We wait'im come back with mushrooms to eat, if he no come back, we find and kill'im! And after, we eat mushrooms." He swings his axe furious with the idea of a goblin who would turn his back on their tribe and chief! His indignation is such that he doesn't even notice when Mogmurch picks the paper candles out of his pockets.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"hehehehehe"


Evil GM

I'll wait a bit for the others to post before moving the story along. A couple players are in my other games so they already know this, but I'm online most of the day, so I tend to post a lot.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

K. Local: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (12) + 1 = 13

"Zunk probably off finding snack or taking nap. His fault if he gets lost or eaten. Maybe we keep going..?"


Evil GM

DM perception rolls:

To avoid any delays in posting I rolled the perceptions for everyone.
burn: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6
Mog: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
Freigaar: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24
zunk: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10
sparque: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (15) + 8 = 23

stealth: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (9) + 9 = 18

Sparque, Mog, and Freigaar Only:

You hear strange sounds in march it sounds like something on the water surface in the march, there a loud croaking sound comign from the same direction.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Marsh?


Evil GM

Marsh is correct. I misspelled.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque snatches the skyrocket higher before Mog can grab it. Then shrugs and hands it over. For a goblin named Sparque, and who carries fireworks, Sparque has an uncharacteristically low opinion of flame and flash. Still, he is, like most goblins nothing if not impractical.

"Freigaar shut hole that makes words!"

Sparque cocks his head to the side and listens intently.

"Shhhhh. Sumfink in the yon…der." he says pointing toward the marsh, and using the biggest word he can think of.

Fine with marching chaos as posted. Sparque will take rearbard.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"Sounds like dinner," Mogmurch comments.

Stealth: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (10) + 12 = 22

He stealth's in for a closer look, bomb in hand.


Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

"No, Freigaar hears croaking, sounds like big frog. Dinner is more quiet", Freigaar replies, taking Mogmurch quite literally and following the alchemist quietly, axe in hands. "Big frog sometimes eat goblins, so Mogmurch goes first this time", he whispers giving way.

Stealth: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 1 = 17


Anyone else following Mog as he moves off the trial a bit more to have a gander in the swamp?

DM:

perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19
perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14

perception Mog: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16
perception Freigaar: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18

Although Mog slips in a rotted out tree stomp at the edge of the Freigaar rattles his way through the reedy weeds near the brackish water's edge. From Mog's angle he can't see the source of the croaking but Freigaar sees three tiny frogs near the shore spread in a semi circle.


Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

Freigaar elbows Mogmurch and shows him the tiny frogs. "Not big frog, small frog. We kill it?"


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk will follow in the shadows if he knows what's going on.


Evil GM

Initiative order:

Freigaar: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7
Mog: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 4 = 8
spargue: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25
burner: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9
Zunk: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14
frogs: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12

Initially only Mog and Freigaar is present as Zunk is off doing Zunk things. I think Burner is traveling so I'll leave him back on thepath. Sparque if you followed Mog then you can take an action this round.

RD 1:

Sparque
Zunk
Frogs
Burner
Freigaar
Mog

Zunk make a perception check to see if you saw some of your party move off the path towards the swamp edge.

Freigaar, Mog (Sparque if you are there) you can make knowledge nature, if you have it.

I'll have to update the map when I get home.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

I actually have nature.

K:Nature: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (17) + 6 = 23


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9


Evil GM

Mog and freignaar move about 60 feet away from Sparque and Biter, Zunk had been watching them and followed but got lost in the process. Essentially, Zunk need to make another perception check next round to pick them up. You are roughly half way between Mog/Freignaar and Sparque/Biter.

RD 1 Map, Frog Battle

Mog Knowledge Nature:

This small frog is bright green and red, with electric-blue stripes on its hind legs. you tried to eat one once at it made you sick. Their nasty little bites have venom that zaps your health (con damage) as they ae both foul tasting and poisonous.


RD 1 Frogs

Two of the frogs hop aggressively towards Freigaar, one is close enough to jump in his hex and try to bite him.

tiny creature - 0 reach

bite: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
Damage = 1 plus poison DC Save 10, 1d2 con damage

Poison (Ex):

Injury; save Fort DC 10; frequency 1/round for 6 rounds; effect 1d2 Con damage; cure 1 save

confirm crit:

bite: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20
If confirmed then 2 HP of damage

Updated RD 1 Map


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sorry for the delay. Sparque will follow Freig and Mog. Place Sparque where you like - he is attacking with reach.

Knowledge (nature): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (15) + 1 = 16

On seeing the frogs preparing to launch, Sparque moves without thinking and lunges with his longspear. Perhaps he should have thought about it as he sticks himself in the foot.

ROUND 1

Standard Action: Attack!

Lunge!: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2 [+1 size]
Splorpt!: 1d6 ⇒ 1

Wow, reach attack critical'd himself in the foot? Dang, long goblin toes….


Evil GM

Updated RD 1 Map with Sparque repositioned.

Remember these frons are tiny so they don't have reach.

Sparque knowledge nature:

You've eaten a brightly colored frog a couple time and each time you've had lots of gas and well the runs, they don't agree with you. You think it has to do with the poisonous glands that you forgot to take out each time you ate one.


Evil GM

Zunk make another perception roll, DC 12 and above you hear the battle.

RD 1: update

Sparque - lunged with spear stubbed his long toe.
Zunk
Frogs - moved and attacked. One crit on Friegaar, 2Hp damage, need fort save.
Burner - I think he is offline for the weekend.
Freigaar
Mog


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20

"Whaa?..." Zunk starts heading over.

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