Baldwin the Merciful's: We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master baldwin the merciful

We be Lick toads! We make raid!
Put the longshank s to the blade!♫ ♪♫
Burn them up from feet to head,
Mak e them hurt, then make them dead!♫
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Lick toads - you be food!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♫

A We Be Goblins Adventure Addyv'nture.


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Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque bites his tongue. Actually bites it a little. He tastes iron and pain. Wincing somewhat, he watches Freigaar with mute appreciation.


Those not dashing out of the palace in glee, walk out with Slorb who comments, "Ride Squeally Nord great fun for tribe to watch, no kill no kill...bad mojo." His bulbous eyes widen. "More fun watch see you fall and stoep'd on. Win much for my pockets."


Goblins toil all afternoon to build the bonfire out of branches, sticks, and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of Scribbleface’s hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire, and the chief lights the fire with a Desnan candle.). This signals the start of an all-night party that features lots of good things to eat (snails, fish, and snakes). "We feasting and have many dares. " He chuckles. "Fun dares, but now we have..." He waves forth two goblins who struggle with a oak barrel. "...sour, stinky apples." Everyone knows this a special treat and delicacy that get you drunk very quickly but sometimes wonderful apples and stick with you for the next day. "Heroes eat apples first."

Anyone eating an apple has to make a DC 8fort Save or they are sicken for 24 hours.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Fort: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20

Not one to give up the chance to eat anything, much less something that's such a treat, the fat goblin rushes and shoves the others out of the way to be first in line. He noisily snarfs down the apple, core and all.


As Zunk indulges of the apple treat there's a chant from others, lots of stomping and boisterous calls:

♪♫ ♪
"Zunk be guud
Zunk be brave.
Zunk don't care
if he go to grave."
♪♫ ♪

Just as you crunch the core you find a wiggle worm as a hidden treat...protein and good luck!


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Burn Teeth Biter marches up next after Zunk and grabs an apple. Crunching into it with fervor.

Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15


The gobos chatter:
"Bit'r's tight'r, gonna have an all-night'r."

There much merriment as the would be-heroes step up for the challenge.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

Mogmurch goes up for a sour, stinky apple and is not disappointed. He finds the sourest and stinkiest apple of the bunch and eats it happily. A few minutes later as the apple makes a comeback does he regret his decision.


Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

Freigaar stands in line distractedly chewing at the wooden tip of his greataxe. This goes on for a while after Mogmurch has eaten an apple, until someone pokes Freigaar to let him know it is his turn. He immediately snaps out of his trance and runs to the oak barrel, turning to the tribe while raising and shaking the axe. "Now Freigaar's turn! No one takes apple until Freigaar eats it!" He sticks his head inside the barrel and shakes it violently, drooling all over the apples and wallowing in their sourness. When he takes his head out, he has a bunch of apple pieces in his mouth, which are clearly visible as he chews. He swallows it down in a big gulp and lets out a loud burp. "Okay, now goblins can eat rest of apples!", he says walking away.

Fortitude save: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Fortitude Save (DC 8): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20

Sparque fishes out an especially good/bad apple, freshly bestowed with spume by Freigaar's saliva. After licking it clean he eats it core and all.

"Nyshe!" he scrumps.


The festivities get off to rowdy start and soon the murmurs begin to turn to goblin game dares to show off your heroics. A chant begins,
♪♫ ♪"Squeally....Squeally....Nord,
gouge ya like a gord.
Stomp em,
Romp em,
Chomp em
Squishy the muscle
Like a truffle."
♪♫ ♪ ♫

Slorb steps up and points to Freigaar then the others. "Freigaar volunteer'd, me hear it wit me ears. ...he first, he first." he glances back at the Chief who's busy gnawing the head off of white mouse.

The goblin crowd quiets down once they hear a goblin foolishly agreed to the death sentence of riding the most fierce creature in the village. The mighty boar Squeally Norg (who is actually a piglet but you're golbins they all look the same.) In deference to the crazy Freignaar the goblins part providing room for hims to make his death march to the pit of death. Everyone knows that Squeally has been known to consume anything unlucky enough to fall unconscious within his pit, usually corpses but that frightens the goblins with all their superstitions.

Squeally Nord Dare:
His pit itself is circular, nearly
20 feet in diameter, and just over 10 feet deep. “Dancing with Squealy Nord” requires a goblin to spend 18 seconds (3 rounds) riding on the piglet's back. Squealy Nord is tethered for this dare, then released into the pit from a narrow corral with the mounted goblin clinging onto his back and generally screaming a lot. A DC 15 Ride check is required each round to stay on Nord’s back as he races about. With a failed check, the goblin is thrown and takes 1d3 points of damage if he fails a DC 10 Reflex save.

"When Freignaar fall, and is eaten, who be next?"


Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

Freigaar squeezes out of the scale mail armor. Metal clothes heavy and help Freigaar fall more quick, he ponders. Wearing just rags, he walks down to Squealy Nord and hops on. The first thing he tries to do is hold tightly to the beast's back, using all four limbs, in a riding position that clearly demonstrates that he doesn't know what riding should look like.

Ride 1 (DC 15): 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 = 19 Yeah!
Ride 2 (DC 15): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (8) + 1 = 9 Fall!
Reflex (DC 10): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8 Oops..
Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 3 Ouch!

The grappling style works for a while, but sticking teeth and nails on the boar seems to get it even more agitated; with a violent jump, Squealy sends Freigaar somersaulting awkwardly through the air. As he spins in slow motion, Freigaar sees the horrified looks on the goblins around, and upon landing face first on the ground, he is himself overwhelmed by the horror of Squealy Nord, goblin eater. Freigaar jumps to his feet and runs towards the animal madly punching the air. "Nooooooooo! Freigaar no die without fight! He starts drooling again, but this time he looks like he has completely lost it. "Brghgajhgjhwabahwabah!

Enter rage! Str 18, Con 20, HP 18, AC 10
Unarmed Attack! (Squealy has an AoO): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (20) + 7 = 27 Oh-oh...
Unarmed Attack! (Confirm): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15 Is it critical?
Damage: 1d2 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6
Critical Damage, just in case: 1d2 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5

Freigaar lands a well-placed blow on Squealy's head; he rolls around with the boar, totally out of control.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk picks at his belly button, still savoring the apple. No me, too much effort.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15
Freigaar Stingtooth wrote:
"Brghgajhgjhwabahwabah!

No matter how many times you try to pronounce this it is always funny.

Haha since Zunk didn't replace the goblins +4 bonus to ride checks and I have 14 str he's probably the most qualified to try this. Good luck convincing him though ;)


Evil GM

Squeally tosses the goblin gets tossed off its back as it snots and paws the muddy ground. Freigaar rushes forth swinging wildly as the pig bites at enraged terror. AOO bite: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4;damage: 1d4 ⇒ 3 but the grunting ham-steak misses. Right as it gets clocked so hard it shudders lifeless.

You hit him so hard you converted to lethal damage.

nonlethal damage:

If a creature's nonlethal damage is equal to his total maximum hit points (not his current hit points), all further nonlethal damage is treated as lethal damage.

The crowd stops...in awe. The someone mumbles, "Bad mojo? huh


The crowd begins to murmur, but the Chief's booming voice beckons to the crowd, "I...grant you less'r goblins ...okness to listen to me. I say no bad mojo, but guud warrior"

"Becuz he mighty strong, I give him gift of “Dragon Brew Gourd” to h'lp his quest."

dragon brew gourd:
This is an elixir of fire breath.


"No bad mojo? Guud mojo? the tribe begins to agree with the Chief as they lick the dirt due to the powerful Chieftain's booming voice.

However there is a dissident in the group. "But no sign of guud luck." One of the tribesman mutters. However, suddenly a tremendous Teeter Chair shaking rumble awes the crowd, as the Chief blesses the Squeally's death with his holy belch-fart.

"Guud Mojoi, guud mojo...we believe."


Slorb tearfully stands and holds up a bag...{b]"Who be brave and eat bag o'slugs."[/b] This gets the crowd chanting gleefully as this is one of the tribes favorite dares. "Eat...Eat...eat or get beat...beat...beat." The bag is moving as Slorb walks around gettign the crowd pumped up. "Who be brave, who eat sluggs real quick?" she stops before the Zunk...the fat goblin. "Yuu rockbelly...eat slugs fast, keep down? Win use of big prize."

He motions over to the chief who shows the crowd the prize. The chief holds up a splendid dogslicer his Gorge of Gluttons

Eat a Bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick:
Bull slugs are black,
wriggling slugs the size of sausages. Even among the goblins, they’re considered particularly foul-tasting and, because of the large amounts of slime they exude, difficult to chew. A covered wicker basket containing the slug bag is brought before the goblin who accepts this dare, along with a napkin made out of a soggy leaf.

The goblin has 1 minute to eat an entire bag of bullslugs to win this dare. Eating the slugs is not a problem, even though they wriggle, taste of rotten fish, and burst with a little squeal when chewed. Eating a full bag in a minute is the hard part. There are five slugs in the bag, and successfully eating one requires a DC 15 Fortitude save (this drops to a DC 10 Fortitude save if the goblin doesn’t bother to spit out the slug’s mildly poisonous slime bladder—but neglecting to take care not to eat the slime bladder could have repercussions). Eating a slug is a full-round action (because of the squirming), and
a goblin who fails a save can attempt to swallow the same slug on the following round. If the goblin can make the five Fortitude saves in a minute.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk cheers for his ally, as taking down the pig was a feat for the songs. Plus he's thinking about getting ahold of the corpse for a recipe.

But then come...the slugs! Zunk sits up immediately, tummy audibly rumbling at the thought. He stands slowly as Slorb approaches him. Then he raises his arms, and purses his lips. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." It's easy to take the noise as Zunk quieting the crowd, but he is actually talking to his stomach. One more loud glurbulur... and Zunk pats his stomach with a smile. "Zunk eat slugs!!!" He snatches the bag and immeditely goes for the first slug.

DM, what kind of check is it to keep the poisonous part in your mouth and not eat it? Reflex maybe?


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"Stop...stop going...in circles," Mogmurch says holding his stomach. At the mention of further food he disappears behind a tent from which awful noises come from. He comes back feeling much better and ready for slugs. Maybe the two would balance each other. Right?

"Mogmurch try nasty slugs. Heheahaha."

And just as a little insurance, he charges and slips a bomb inside Zunk's bag of slugs when he isn't looking.

Sleight of Hand: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (18) + 5 - 2 = 21
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (8) + 5 - 2 = 11
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (18) + 5 - 2 = 21
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (6) + 5 - 2 = 9
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (12) + 5 - 2 = 15
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (15) + 5 - 2 = 18
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (5) + 5 - 2 = 8
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (8) + 5 - 2 = 11
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (2) + 5 - 2 = 5
Fort: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (7) + 5 - 2 = 10

Even sickened from the apples he amanages get through the first four but struggles with the last to get it down


Zunk a reflex save would work...DC 10

The goblins cheer at the two goblins vying for the right to eat wiggly bull slugs.

"rassle...rassle for th slugs...rassle rassle." Mog is too quick and snatches the bag and starts to woof the slithery suckers down. Everyone hoots and hollers as he tries to win the prize.


"You get more slugs!" Looking at Zunk's greenish-yellow face. "Plenty of slugs." he giggles. "Eat, Eat...don't worry no stinky feet." He giggles.

The his eyes moves over to Sqarque and Biter. "which of you want to play hide and git clobbered and which one want to try the fun rusty earbiter?" The goblins go nuts when those two games are mentioned. "Mighty Chief has more prizes if you win."


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque thinks relativiely quickly as Slorb offers options for reward. Mostly he's just happy he doesn't have to eat slugs.

"Me take on "fun rusty earbiter". So Biter c'n get hide or git clobbered."


"Ooooooooooooooooh...ear biter...chomp chomp and stomp, munch em, crunch em, punch em." The goblin horde chants. As the group parts to show the fun toy that has been rolled out from behind the palace, you can see parts of ears: 1d3 ⇒ 2 ears tangled in the rusty contraption. Several goblins have torn flesh from their fingers, hands and legs from rolling the coil out for the games. The infamous Rusty Earbiter is a hollow coil of rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords, and thorny branches and vines. The Rusty Earbiter is both an object of fascination and fear for the Licktoads.

The half-insane tinkerer who invented the thing has long since died (carried off one night by a giant bird of some sort after his first and only test of a prototype bird-attracting hat), but his legacy lives on. The other goblins cheer and hoot when Sqarque is dared to crawl through the Rusty Earbiter.

Rusty Earbiter:

A goblin who agrees to this dare must climb into one end of the Rusty Earbiter and then wriggle through it, coming out the other side. There’s no time limit to get this done, but the faster the better! Climbing through the Rusty Earbiter requires a series of three DC 15 Escape Artist checks as the goblin must writhe through a series of tight squeezes. Each Escape Artist check takes 1 full round to attempt, and each one must be repeated until a successful check is made before moving on to the next one (or, in the case of the last check, successfully crawling out the far end of the tube). Each failed Escape Artist check causes 1d4–2 points of damage (a result of less than 1 point of damage indicates no damage is taken) from the Rusty Earbiter's spiky spikes.

Slorb announces, "crawl fast...git to use chief's Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful." When that coveted prize is announced there a roar of stomps. 'Chief by too kind ...to kind."


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk is halfway to eating a slug when it's nicked out from under him. His face turns red as it beetles up in anger, but his short attention is grabbed by the Rusty Earbiter game. He quickly runs over, shoving Sparque out of the way. The fat goblin stands in front of the spiky nightmare, showing a silhouette that's clearly too large for the coil.

"Chief be kind, so I move fast for him!" He bounces a couple of times (making a lovely squishing noise as his rolls of fat slap down) and then slips into the coil. His skin and fat stretch to unbelievable lengths to the point where he's contorted like a bowl of pudding instead of a goblin going through the Rusty Earbiter. His ear catches for a brief moment in the middle, but he rips it and schlorps his way through the end of the spiky terror. He feels his torn ear, smiling. "Zunk has new ear hole!!!"

Dice:
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 191d20 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 141d20 + 8 ⇒ (15) + 8 = 231d20 + 8 ⇒ (17) + 8 = 25

Damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (4) - 2 = 2


You guys are are ruthless for the slow poster. pushing the other golbins out of line.

everyone laughs and claps at the excitement of someone dashing to bounce into the the rusty earbiter.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Hey, turns out I'm actually the best for that particular game! Ends up I suck at the eating part anyways, I wanted to take the eat anything racial trait but it gave up that sweet +4 stealth. Don't worry, I don't think anybody intends to hog more than 1 ritual.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Burn Teeth Biter had gotten himself caught up in the excitement and was too busy enjoying watching the other Goblins struggle through the other trials to immediately take notice of when the time to play hide and git clobbered came.

He had never been particularly sneaky due to his extra big head. But he was also determined not to get clobbered and win the prize.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque is fairly philosophical about the "turn" of events. On the one hand, he hasn't lost a piece of his ear, and on the other he doesn't have to receive Gutwad's largesse. Or be fat, stupid or whatever else physical or mental defect obviously assails his accomplices.

He wonders whether the Chief's Mouth (Slorb) will assign him some new, original and gut-wrenchingly noisome cruel and unusual punishment. He waits with some anticipation as Biter prepares to not get hit.


Biter notices quite a few goblins now have sticks and clubs in their hands, some polished others freshly pulled out of the swampy muck. You know this the goblin version of hide and seek. The dare-taker rushes off into the marsh without any weapons and attempts to find a good hiding spot. The other goblins try to find him, and if they do, the finder is allowed to whack the previously hidden goblin with a club.

As Biter runs off into the swamp he is absolutely convinced he has a a perfect hiding spot behind a old knotty stump.

DM stealth:

staelth: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10
goblins: 1d10 ⇒ 9

Perception:
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (8) - 1 = 7
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (19) - 1 = 18
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (12) - 1 = 11
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (18) - 1 = 17
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (7) - 1 = 6
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (8) - 1 = 7

Suddenly Biter starts to get a bit jumpy as nine of his fellow tribesman snoop around his super duper swell hiding spot. He tries to burrow int0 the mucky mud a little but he is discovered by three gobos who shout with glee as they begin to whack the cleric.

dam: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1
dam: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2
dam: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

Hide or Get Clubbed:
Once the goblins start looking, roll
1d10 to determine how many goblins come close enough to the hiding goblin to attempt –1 Perception checks to notice the hiding goblin. If a goblin finds the hidden goblin, the resulting club strike automatically inflicts 1d4–1 points of damage. If no goblins find the hidden goblin, he wins a loan of the mystical Ring That Lets You
Climb Real Good (a ring of climbing)


The tribesman comes back with bloodied clubs laughing, "Big fun, more more."

Slorb looks at Sparque, "You hide now....loan of chief's prize still guud. You hide we find, we clobber."

Sparque you gulp as you see Biter stumbling back within a whisker of consciousness, he looks dazed and confused....very likely a closed head injury. but like a good trooper you set off to find a good hiding spot behind a stump...wonder what this red stuff is behind this stomp, smells coppery. As you settle into the same hiding spot that Biter just had.

DM rolls:

stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26
goblins: 1d10 ⇒ 6

Perception:
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (11) - 1 = 10
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (19) - 1 = 18
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (10) - 1 = 9
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (10) - 1 = 9
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (13) - 1 = 12
1d20 - 1 ⇒ (20) - 1 = 19

the goblins hunt and hunt for you for a good 3 minutes before they get bored and go back to the feast, leaving you out there for another hour or so. When you finally come back in you are presented with a valuable prize which is on LOAN, like the Gorge of Gluttons. "You no bring back, you better no come back. This be Chief's mystical Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good (a ring of climbing)."


The chief puts his mighty dogslicer across his lap, "Biter...Mogmurch both bad mojo'd goblins...probably die on quest." On cue he farts so loud and boobing, the odor waffles over the a 30 foot radius. Eyes water and goblins drop to revel in his holiness. "You both eat slugs, first to finish get to use mighty Gorge of Gluttons...loser die on quest anyway, need no weapon."

Gorge of Gluttons:
a +1 dogslicer that functions as a bane weapon when utilized against horses (improving to a +3 dogslicer that inflicts an additional 2d6 points of damage on a successful hit).


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

I made it through 4 then my rolls started to suck and couldn't finish in the 1 min time limit. Do I roll again?


"Moggy...you eat new sluggos...yummy in your tummy."

start again eat till you finish and the goblin that finishes first wins.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Balls

Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (5) + 5 - 2 = 8
Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (3) + 5 - 2 = 6
Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (14) + 5 - 2 = 17 1
Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (3) + 5 - 2 = 6
Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (9) + 5 - 2 = 12
Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (4) + 5 - 2 = 7
Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (7) + 5 - 2 = 10
Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (4) + 5 - 2 = 7
Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (8) + 5 - 2 = 11
Fort-sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (1) + 5 - 2 = 4

Mogmurch can stomach one of the slugs but the ones sitting in his stomach and the rotten apples make getting any further impossible. Gotta respect the determination though.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

At least I am getting rid of the bad rolls.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk laughs at the beaten goblin. Zunk would have hidden much better. He watches Mogmurch fail to get down the slugs again, shaking his head. Zunk should cook them.


Evil GM

Zunk starts to rifle through the half eaten slugs looking for good ones to cook. Sucking on few juicy ones while he does this.


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Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

After not being found, or, most importantly, hit, Sparque hides his complete surprise. Then remembers the divine poop bestowal.

Ah! Of korss!

Bowing scrapingly low, the lucky bard accepts the ring with a deferential palm, and nods in complete understanding of the terms.

Why return? With this ring I am king!!!


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Still reeling from the clubs to the head from earlier he looks at the slugs before him and tries to eat them all. He does try to make sure not to swallow the poison on the slugs.

Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17
Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12
Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 2 = 16
Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8
Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 2 = 11
Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4
Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15
Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21
Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4
Fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20

Wooh! Just barely.


Burn dances with glee around the campfire making sure he rubs in his conquest well.

"Biter bett'r than Mog. Mog not so guud. Bit'r git use of mighty weapon, weapon of fear and terror." he holds up his dogslicer to many ohhhhs and ahhhhs. "This be on LOAN that mean you give back to me, no give back I feed you to," he looks over a the dead pig, "to well...I just feed you to something terrible, you understand?" He pauses "this be Gorge of Gluttons, most fear weapon in swamp."

doslicer:
a +1 dogslicer that functions as a bane weapon when utilized against horses (improving to a +3 dogslicer that inflicts an additional 2d6 points of damage on a successful hit).

He picks up a pickled frog and squeezes it hard so all the gooey yumminess explodes in his mouth. He licks up and the juice then pops the pickled creature in his massive orifice that opened between his four chins.

"Now we sing song to me for chance to play trade pockets." This is classic gambling game, where challenged goblins trade what's in their pockets with other goblins. But the opportunity to trade pockets with the goblins chieftain is an incredible honor, in fact it's better than incredible it's guud too! "Sing guud song if I like you pick a pocket."


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Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk perks up at the chance to play trade pockets with the chief, ignoring his new ear hole for the moment.

"Gutwad's mighty, Gutwad's strong,
He is leader and never wrong!
We play his games that we do wins,
And he gives us blessings with all four chins!
Now we go down forest road,
To get stuff for every Licktoad!
We will go to river so quick,
And return with every boom boom stick!"

What are the pocket choices?


Evil GM

zunk I'm in tears with that song! You'll get to pick a pocket numbered 1-8. since you went first you get your choice of pockets.


The chief claps to the song as it is sung. "Song be guud!" He chuckles, "Guud...guud to sing 'bout me...make me happi, almost make me pee." wiggles his girth on the teeter chair, for a moment the chair creaks. "Picky pocket....you"

I'm going to wait to reveal what's in the various pockets until everyone sings and picks a number.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Woohoo! I'm glad to be of service DM! I'll go for number 7 since it's my lucky number (and obviously the most powerful in any fantasy setting).


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Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque rolls his beady bulgy eyes at Zunk's uninspired and obviously sycophantic doggerelism. He sighs.

'kay then

"Licktoad's play games that be guud
Eat the slime slugs and whack the wuuds
Rusty ear biter, ride the Nord
Freigaar make sure we not be bored.

Hiding biting running squeal
Make of no guud goblins meal
Fire and blasts be just the trickest
But Mogmurch now be the sickest

Gutwad big, Gutwad mighty
Gutwad's gas be foul and flighty
If you no please our big chief
He will get all mad and bitey".


As if on cue there's a mighty spew as his mightiness is now green-blue, a wonderful hue. "Mog sick, he may dead, but try to save his head." The chief shakes his chucky foot and dead mouse slides from under under his robes. "Picky up treat, you eat." He points to Sparque. "Yeh, you picky pocket too."


The tribe is amazed at Sparque's good luck, not only does he get to picky a pocket, he gets a mouse! Some less than attractive goblinettes slither up to the Sparque, since he clearly has the the Chief's favor.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque makes sure to confirm a few assignations with his grotesque groupies before sidling up to pick the mousy treat off the ground. With much gusto Sparque places the body of the rodent in his mouth and rips the head off in his hand. A quick swallow, and with the grisly trophy in one hand Sparque presents himself to pick a pocket treat.

Number 4 please Mr Music! Do we have to trade one of our items with Gutwad?

Adding head of ex-Gutwad's expired mouse of luck +0 to pouches.


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Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

Freigaar keeps rolling with Squealy Nord for a while before realizing the pig is dead. He stands up still drooling and spinning around, but Gutwad's thunderous approval of his skills gets Freigaar out of the rage. He spends the rest of the night watching the other goblins perform their dares and laughing hard at both their successes and failures. When the pocket games begin, he tries to come up with a song for the chief.

Licktoads, hear
The chief's commands
Open ears ♪ ♪ ♫
and clubs in hands!
Licktoads, fight
For mighty chief!
Don't you flight ♪♫
Or you're dead beef!
Licktoads, mind
The chief's decree!
We be blind ♪♫
But chief can see!
Chief no scoff,
Gives us perks
When we're off ♫ ♪♫
To fetch fireworks
We be five
And we'll thrive:
Mogmurch, smarter!
Fire-starter! ♪♫
Sparque and Zunk,
Smell like skunk,
Burn Teeth Biter
Freigaar fighter! ♫ ♪♫
We be goblins
On a quest ♪ ♪ ♫
We be Licktoads
We be best!

Choose pocket number 3

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