Baldwin the Merciful's: We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master baldwin the merciful

We be Lick toads! We make raid!
Put the longshank s to the blade!♫ ♪♫
Burn them up from feet to head,
Mak e them hurt, then make them dead!♫
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Lick toads - you be food!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♫

A We Be Goblins Adventure Addyv'nture.


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Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

"Yea. Gud eye-deah. You...not... get eaten. Or get... eaten. Zunk." Sparque finishes, unsure of which is the better option. For anygoblin.

Glancing around the macabre cabin Sparque hangs close to Freigaar.

Not moving. Waiting Zunk get eated.


Evil GM

Zunk you get to a water warped door that is shut, it appears to enter some sort of cabin. As you eyeball the handle you do not observe the door being trapped or anything, although the door looks like it is a snug fit. It is eerily quiet.

What are you going to do?


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

As in the door is stuck shut? Dang, there's no way to open that quietly. Zunk will return.

"Door stuck, we have kick it open, run in screaming!"


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"oh oh oh! I know. We not kick in door. Scary voice eat us as soon as we enter. Make dead dog go through. Tie to mast and swing. Scary thing eat dog. When it full we kill. Yeah?"


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

"Door stuck I said, dog can't open door!"


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"Dog can." As with most goblins, once a stupid idea is acquired, it is hard to get rid of. Which is why they are unpredictable opponents. Sometimes, if they are lucky, their stupidity pays off. So Mog sets about to make his dream come true, using a dead dog as a battering ram.

The idea is to tie the dog to the mast by a long length of rope. Then hauling it in the air somehow and swinging it into the door. Is there enough mast and rope to make this happen. Probably need two lengths of rope, twice as tall as the mast, in one or many tied pieces.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Knowledge (engineering) DC 15: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Sparque has….zero idea of what Mog is trying to do. He is sure Mog is crazy.

"How dead dog open door? Dog have no hands. Dead dog have less."


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"Dead dog heavy though."


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Biter listened to the rest of the group argue, then took a moment to cast a spell for guidance. Casting Guidance

After a moment he realized that all of the rest of the group were too busy thinking with their heads rather than actually using them.

"Mog's plan probly work if dog were alive. But not with dead dog. Dead things get mushy. Dead dog's head is too soft."

He backed up to the edge of the boat and charged the door. He was alive and did, after all, have a very hard head.

Strength check: 1d20 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 1 + 1 = 12


Evil GM

As Mog explains the brilliance of his plan and begins to tie up the dog's body. Mog thinks, we should add fire to dog!!! There is a sudden and unexpected sound as Burner crashes head first into the warped cabin door.

Burner roll a damage d6 plus your str modifier.

There is loud cracking sound that serves as inspiration for the rest of the goblin squad. Mog thinks we should light Burner on fire.!!


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Head burst: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

Burner slowly picks himself off the ground. His vision blurring in and out of focus as dark blood began oozing out over his face. The door was cracked, but not open.

Door, harder than... head?

He pulls his wand out of his pocket and taps his head, mumbling the command word.

Cure light wounds: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (8) + 1 = 9

The pain receding, he let out a small sigh of contentment as he fell back for a moment to let the world stop throbbing.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque makes an appreciative grimace as Burn uses tactics not seen recently. He pouts toward Mog with much righteous attitude apparent.

"See! Dog not able to do that!"

His beady eyes grow slightly wider as he sees Burn use the wand. He immediately shuffles close and makes his demand almost in Burn's face.

"Hai. You got heal. You heal me. Or I sing lotsa lotsa bad stuff make you head hurt more than door make head hurt!"

Was the damage dice for the door or self-inflicted to Burn's head?


Evil GM

dice roll was for door damage.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Oh I misunderstood your meaning. We could just roll with it for now.

Biter put a hand to his head and jabbed the stick at Sparque.

"Fine, no mood to deal with annoying threats anyway. Here!"

Heal: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (8) + 1 = 9


Evil GM

Is anyone doing anything else?


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

"Way to use head!" Zunk snickers and moves in to scout.

Stealth: 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (10) + 20 = 30
Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4


Evil GM
Zunk wrote:

"Way to use head!" Zunk snickers and moves in to scout.

the door is cracked it is not smashed or opened yet.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Oh my bad, I misinterpreted.

Zunk growls and puts his boot to the door.

Strength: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12


Evil GM

With the last kick of the door it breaks open enough for a small goblins to wiggle through.

The air in this cabin is thick and close, stinking of swamp and sweat, with a thick, glistening layer of mud on the floor and swaths of oily fungus clinging to the walls. Even more dangling decorations of goblin bone and animal-part fetishes hang from the ceiling on lengths of sinew here, and what appears to be a nest made of rags, sticks, mud, and castoff bits of clothing lies against the westernmost wall. But scattered amid the filth and clutter are several exotic-looking man-made objects—including a tantalizing red chest.

Initiative:

burn: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12
Mog: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17
Freigaar: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 1 = 15
zunk: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (8) + 4 = 12
sparque: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12

Vorka: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 2 = 16

Initiative Order:

Mog
Vorka
Freigaar
Sparque
Zunk
Burner

DM:

stealth: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9

Zunk is obviously next to the door since he kicked at at. Make perception check as you enter the room or stop at the door to peer into the room to determine if you see more than what I've described above.

RD 1 Map


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

On my turn

Sparque moves to the doorway, ferocious longspear in hands. He growls low, ears back like a feral beast, then peers in before making a new chant.

"Eerie dearie, we no fearie!
Boys - Enter - Dare
Take much care!

Freigaar, Burn
Zunk'n'Mog
Sparque all fight and kill your dogs!
"

Move Action Move to doorway (space just north of Zunk) unless someone else fills it before me.
Standard Action: Inspire Courage Bardic Performance/guttural chant.

+1 morale bonus on saving throws against charm and fear effects and a +1 competence bonus on attack and weapon damage rolls…

Rounds of Bardic Performance left - 4


Evil GM

Mog you are up.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Right.

Mogmurch is sad to see all his hard work and hard thoughts going to waste. But at least he got the rope up. So if the dead dog couldn't swing then he would. And even if there was no door, there was a Zunk. "Weeeeeeeee!" he cries as he swings full speed into the rogue.

Bull Rush?+2 for charge?: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

Full speed ends up being about as fast as slow goblin can walk. He tied the rope too high for his little stubbly legs and only got a few inches in the air. He bounces off Zunk like a rotten Cabbage.

Move to swing and Standard to Bull Rush.


As Mog slightly miscalculates and half his body thunks into the door jam while the other half dangles against Zunk's derriere. A vision of Chief Gutwad lingers in Mog's head cackling like a fat pig.


RD 1: Vorka

There is cruel cackling sound and the shrill voice tells you, "Your eyes will be popped like prunes in my mouth...a delicacy." She the lights her Desnan candle, which is propped on the ground, at Zunk,

ranged: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13
1 HP non-lethal damage and 1 Hp of fire damage.

She then scurries up the wall like spider.


Evil GM

Updated RD 1 map

Vorka is 10 feet off the ground. clinging to the wall like spider.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Round 1: Burner will move into the room, bottom right corner and throw a fire bolt up at Vorka.

Moving past the others he gets into a corner of the room where he can see Vorka and unleashes a bolt of fire at her.

"Enjoy my cooking... this seem familiar to anyone?"

Ranged touch Fire bolt: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12

damage: 1d6 ⇒ 5


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

"Zunk's cooking is better!" He says in response to both Biter and Vorka. He steps into the room, drawing his little bow and twanging an arrow off at Vorka.

Attack: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 4


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"Wanna play with fire?" Mog asks curiously. Then in seep and dangerous tone. "I like fire." He pulls out his own firework, larger and more firey then creepy, climbing goblin, and lights it.

5ft step just inside. Move to get Skyrocket. Standard to light it. Goes off next round.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Just clarifying - so everyone has made Round 1 action except Freigaar? And Mog has posted Round 2 action?


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

I guess I did. Oops.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Is fine with me - you are up for Round 2 after all. I'm just wondering about Freigaar's contribution before going to Rd 2 myself…


Evil GM

I will DMPC Freigaar if he doesn't post within by 9:00 am.

Burner's firebolt hits the wall wide right of the Vorka, while Zunk's arrow twangs off the back wall.


Evil GM

Updated RD 1 Map

*I did not move Mog yet since we are still in RD 1

**Mog remember you are hanging from your rope, so I'll need a Reflex DC 10 to drop and land on your feet when it's your turn in RD 2. I had you and Zunk in the same hex, but since you were hanging I permitted that 3d visual.

***Sparque feel free to go before Friegaar if you would like. I'm not going to hold things up, and I'll just drop him to the end of the round if need be.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Ref: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12

Closer than I would have liked. Everything is okay boss.


Evil GM

RD 1 DMPC Friegaar

Friegaar gathers his goblin nerve amd moves inot the room, pushing by zunk as he goes, mumbling to himself, "Must kill before killed."

He then swings down at the small toad by the mast in the center of the room.

greatax: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 13;damage: 1d10 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

he misses the frog.

Updated RD 1 Map


Evil GM

Sparque you are up.


Evil GM

Sparque...


Male Goblin
Active Spells:
Mage Armor, 6 hours/ Resist Energy-Cold, 1 hour / Shield 6 minutes, / Resist Energy Cold- Moralane, 1 hour.
Sorcerer (Draconic) lvl.6, (Hp. 3/31, Ac.17 [25], Touch. Ac. 15, Flat Footed Ac. 14 [22], Fort. +3, Refl. +6, Will. +7, Perception +7)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulEisLcFEl4


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sorry for delay

According to THIS POST I should be at W25

Sparque creeps in and with a feral cry lets loose with an eldritch burst of woeful sound, jangling and cutting chords of pain launch at Vorka…

ROUND 2

Move Action: Move from W25, in through doorway and to W24 - just north of Zunk.

Standard Action: Launch
chord of shards at Vorka

Chord of Shards:
During your bardic performance, you can strike a chord whose notes transform into a shower of razor sharp, crystalline shards. The shards deal 2d6 points of piercing damage to all creatures caught in the area of effect. (Reflex Negates)

Zahng!!!: 2d6 ⇒ (2, 3) = 5 Is this affected by Bardic performance +1 weapon damage rolls? It's not technically a weapon

Bardic Performance Round left: 3


Sparque's cone shaped spell hits Friegaar, Vorka, and Lord Longtongue

Vorka save: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18

Lord LT save: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19

It's not weapon so +1 doesn't apply.

If Friegaar doesn't role his reflex by mid morning I'll DmPC it.

Updated Map with spell template


Evil GM

RD 2:

Initiative Order:

Mog
Vorka
Freigaar
Sparque
Zunk
Burner

The map is in the previous post.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Ooops, sorry I didn't include DC for Reflex, but I'm pretty sure they both saved easy. Maybe I'll cut Freigaar!!!

Also, the spell's duration is Instantaneous - so is already gone…


Evil GM

Both did save. I like to put the templates up on the map to show where it hit, it'll be gone the next update.

Friegaar reflex: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

The tiny shards of glass rend through the goblin's backside.

Friegaar HP status: 9/19


Evil GM

RD 2: Mog

Mog posted the action earlier. Steps into the doorway behind Zunk and lights the rocket.

Updated RD 2 Map

*Mog let me know if you wanted to move further into the room.


RD 2: Vorka and Lord Longtongue

Vorka's evil cackling is interwoven with mighty spell,

concentration: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12
*this will be violent motion while casting since he is clinging ot the wall and being attacked, DC 17

"Vorka summons beast from fire,
Fire sends beast from hell,
Togeth'r we dine on the swine,
Slurp 'em up with a cup of wine."

The spell fails.

-----
Lord Longtongue

The frog bites at Friegaar,

bite: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9;damage: 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5

but the bite missed.


Evil GM

RD 2: updated

Initiative Order:

Mog - move light rocket
Vorka/Longtongue - spell failed; bite missed
Freigaar
Sparque
Zunk
Burner

Just skip Friegaar, I'll DMPC him at the end of the round if he does not appear.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk runs around the little lord, setting up a flank. "Zunk will be new lord! Zunk dogkiller!"

Acrobatics: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22
Attack: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23
Damage: 1d3 + 2 + 1d8 ⇒ (2) + 2 + (2) = 6


Evil GM

Zunk is winded as his double chin flops around as he runs and tumbles out of the Lort Longtongue's reach. He sticks the little frog with his weapon.

Updated Map with zunk


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

I am fine where I am but Zunk might not be. Nevermind, just saw that he moved. Good call.

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