Baldwin the Merciful's: We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master baldwin the merciful

We be Lick toads! We make raid!
Put the longshank s to the blade!♫ ♪♫
Burn them up from feet to head,
Mak e them hurt, then make them dead!♫
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Lick toads - you be food!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♫

A We Be Goblins Adventure Addyv'nture.


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Evil GM
Burn Teeth Biter wrote:
Scary thing is that these are just the surrounding encounters, the Goblin cannibal hasn't shown her face yet. Although Cuddles seems like an Animal companion.

Cuddles is advanced riding dog. The bigger problem is the party separated in three directions.


Evil GM

RD 3: update

Initiative Order:

Mog - sneaks
Cuddles - moved and chomped sparque for 7 Hp
Freigaar -
zunk
Sparque -
Burner - unconscious -5 HP
Tickletooth -- dead

Mog now that Cuddles is out in the open are you going to do anything to the goblin eating beast?


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk screams and runs over to flank Cuddles. I will beat Freigaar in doggy kills!

Attack: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (12) + 7 = 19
Damage: 1d3 + 2 + 1d8 ⇒ (1) + 2 + (3) = 6


M Dog Guard

Zunk clunks Cuddles, who is not determined to eat fat goblin meat.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Round 3: I'll just go ahead and roll my stabilization check.

Constitution: 1d20 - 5 ⇒ (20) - 5 = 15

Bam! Natural 20.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

SParque whimpers in pain, then tries to master himself and stab again. He fails.

Round 3

5' step to re-establish reach and lose flank :(
Standard Action: Stab

Stabby!!!: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3 [+1 size]
Blorp!!!: 1d6 ⇒ 6

I'm correct in assuming I can't maintain flank and still attack with longspear?


Evil GM
Sparque Darktongue wrote:

SParque whimpers in pain, then tries to master himself and stab again. He fails.

I'm correct in assuming I can't maintain flank and still attack with longspear?

Correct.


Evil GM

RD 3: update

Initiative Order:

Mog - sneaks
Cuddles - moved and chomped sparque for 7 Hp
Freigaar -
zunk - hit cuddles for 6 HP
Sparque - missed
Burner - unconscious -5 HP. STABILIZED
Tickletooth -- dead


Evil GM

Friegaar is up.


Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

Since Freigaar killed the dog, his uncontrollable rage clausule kicks in.

Will save to end the rage (DC 16): 1d20 ⇒ 20

After chopping down the evil dog and having acquired a taste for it, Freigaar snaps out of his rage and runs upstairs to slice the remaining beast that currently battles his tribesfolk.


Evil GM

Friegaar double moves and climbs the ladder.


Evil GM

RD 4: update

Initiative Order:

Mog -
Cuddles -
Freigaar -
zunk -
Sparque -
Burner - unconscious -5 HP. STABILIZED
Tickletooth -- dead

RD 4 Map


M Dog Guard

Everyone can take their action.

RD 4: Cuddles

The salivating flee bag bears down on Zunk,

bite: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14;damage: 1d5 + 6 ⇒ (1) + 6 = 7

But the jaw of death misses.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Mogmurch continues to watch with mild amusement. Even going so far as to lay down and prop his head in his hands. They fight was likely to end quickly, especially once Zunk moved in to flank, so there was no need to waste valuable ammunition. As much as he wanted to watch the dog's fur slough off in patched from acid burn, he could wait.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Biter meanwhile continued to play dead very well.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

"Araraarrrrraa!!!!"

Attack: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (13) + 7 = 20
Damage: 1d3 + 2 + 1d8 ⇒ (2) + 2 + (4) = 8

Going to flank again.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Mog grabs some loose splinters on the roof and tries to drop them in Burn's mouth.

Touch attack: 1d20 + 8 - 4 ⇒ (19) + 8 - 4 = 23

He misses the mouth but happily gets it right up the nose. "Hehehehe"


Evil GM

Zunk's mighty blow downs Cuddles.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Sparque whimpers good naturedly, then looks up, frowns at Mogmurch, gives him the two fingers of doom, then sees if he can find anything useful on Burn...errr... sees if he can help Burn stop bleeding all over the place, by placing himself in the doorway stopping anyone else from getting in first.

Heal: 1d20 ⇒ 18


Evil GM

Sparque notices Burn has stabilized. His pockets are filled with goodies like: Dried out, burnt bat, Holy symbol of Asmodeus (Also burnt), and a Gnomish pinwheel toy. He also has some burned stick thingy that you've seen him poke people with and chant silly, stupid words.


Evil GM

What is everyone going to do? Sparque is checking pockets. :-)


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

"Zunk is best dog slayer!!!" Zunk does a dance to celebrate while looking around.

Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7


Evil GM

This room is a blood-splattered chamber of horror. Dead rodents, snakes, and birds have been variously nailed, tied, and hung around the walls. At the far end of the room, a large cauldron is laying on it's side with it's contents sprawling over the wet floor, its stovepipe chimney extending up through the ceiling. A goblin's left arm and heart now lay in puddle of stew. A bloody burlap sack sits on the floor next to the stove. The center of the room contains a long, rickety table surrounded by chairs that contain several grisly decorations—a whole family of skeletal goblins, their bones bleached white and bound together by reeds and twine.


Evil GM

What is everyone doing?


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"So what's in ewwwwww." Mog hangs his head over the side of the roof to peer into the room only to see its grotesque, even to a goblin, contents. He gets a little too distracted and tumbles off with muffled "Ooomph". Thankfully he did not land on Burn but he does proceed to poke him.

Where else can we go on the ship? Any ladders or doors to unexplored areas?


Evil GM

You can climb up the mast or climb down the ladder where Zunk and Friegaar killed the a dog, there was an unopened door there.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"We let sleep?" he asks while poking Burn. Maybe if he heal cleric, cleric heal him later. Mogmurch reaches into a filthy pocket and retrieves a filthy bottle with filthy contents. He uncorks it and pours the concoction down Burn's throat. Hopefully that would heal him, he wasn't really sure he got that one right.

Give burn a potion cure light.

1d8 + 1 ⇒ (8) + 1 = 9

Damn, got it right this time.


Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

Freigaar scratches shis head trying to understand the scene. "Goblins died waiting for food?" He picks up the goblin arm lying in the puddle of stew. "Stew not ready yet, goblin arm bad for stew..." He looks around the room seacrhing for the fireworks. "This not important! Where be fireworks that dogs guarded?"


Evil GM

Mog gives a dirty healing potion to Burner and brings him back to consciousness. Friegaar scours the galley for fireworks, tossing aside the half cooked goblin arm. What are the others doing?


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Inhaling a deep breath, Burner's eyes snap open as he screams and begins to flail wildly at where the assumed the awful beast might be.

"Waaaaaaagggghhh!!"

Unarmed; Two weapon fighting attack 1: 1d20 - 2 - 4 ⇒ (4) - 2 - 4 = -2

Unarmed; Two weapon fighting attack 2: 1d20 - 6 - 4 ⇒ (13) - 6 - 4 = 3

...But instead it was just Mog. After realizing his mistake he rolled to the side that didn't still hurt before standing up with his healing stick and began to heal the rest of his wounds.

Wand: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

Once he adjusted his shoulder and made sure it wouldn't hurt anymore he looked over around at the Macabre room. "Good work." Then he immediately began to head over to the bloody burlap sack to examine its contents.


Evil GM

Burner eventually gets to his feet and greed or is curiosity gets the best of him. Nope it was greed as he opens the bloody burlap head where he finds Scribbleface's branded head staring back at him. Further proof that writing words can, in the end, only bring you bad luck—or worse!


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

"Serves you write... get it?" He says turning back to face the others.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk stares deadpan at Burner. "Zunk will cut you for that."


there is a bone chilling cackle that rises through he floor boards of the ship, as if the knotty weathered wood is haunted. it feelas as if the ship rocks and the floor is rolling. "Tasti brains, soft tongue..." Echoes in the air.

Everyone fort save DC 12, or shaken


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Fort: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 1 = 17

Zunk shivers, but remains strong.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Fortitude save: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

Between the direct threat from Zunk and the cackling, Burner only has a moment before his eyes widen and he visibly starts shaking.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Fortitude DC 12: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

Sparque steps into the room to examine the dead party… and upon hearing the dread voice quails visibly...


Mog and Freigaar still owe the fortitude save.


"Juicy eyes, tender liver...don't ruin my dinner." The haunted sounds reverberate from the wooden ship.


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7

Mogmurch shivers as the voice sends a chill up his spine. "Burn the ship?"


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

Zunk shakes his head. "Good idea, but remember we need fireworks. Fire destroy fireworks."


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"Fire kill scary voice too," he says shivering again.


Evil GM

After about 30 seconds of bone chilling haunting the group gathers their goblin nerve and get ready to proceed forward. The ships stops rolling and the sound ceases, there is no sign of the source.

everyone is back to normal - no shaken condition - and where are you going next. I was just setting a bit of mood to the scene.


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

"No, no burning the ship. We kill creepy Vordka, who is very alive, and we get fireworks then return home for reward... Maybe we burn ship after fireworks are found."


Male Goblin Alchemist: 1 | HP: 10/10 | AC:17 T:15 FF:13 | CMB +0 | CMD:12 | Fort: +5 Ref: +6 Will:-1 | Init: +4 | Perc: +3

"Ugh. Fine." Mog follows stupid Burn towards scary voice. Even for goblins this sounded like a stupid idea.


Male Goblin Bard 1; HP 10/10; AC 17 T 13 FF 15; Fort +1; Ref +4; Will +2; Init +6; Per +8; CMB -1; CMD 11; Spd 30 ft.

Perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (15) + 8 = 23

Sparque calms down eventually. He returns to his examination of the dinner party.

"They eat bad food, or they were bad food? Why not fed to dogs?"

Is there anything interesting about the…rather…late…guests? Mostly Sparque is looking for interesting baubles, shinies etc...


Evil GM

As the noise quiets down the golbins gather their nerve, Mog climbs down form the top of the cabin and follows Burner who eventually head down the ladder to the main deck. there you see another dead dog - killed by Zunk and Friegaar - there is a dog to cabin there.

Meanwhile Sparque checks out the galley for anything interesting or delicious to eat. You see Scribbleface's detached head sitting on the table where Burner left it. There's an assortment of knifes and utensils scattered about, various bones scattered in the room from Vordka's previous meals. No shiny baubles though.

Zunk turned to follow Mog and he is half way down the ladder, while Friegaar is standing at the top of the ladder looking down at Zunks fat head. I shood spit on fat scalp.

Updated Map

From this point what are you each going to do?


Male Goblin Cleric 1, Hp: 8/8, Initiative: +2, Perception +2, CMB: +0, CMD: 12

Heading into the main deck entrance.


Male Goblin Rogue 1 | HP 10/10 | AC 18/15/14 | Init +4 | Perc +3 | CMB +1 CMD 15

"Zunk look ahead. Stay here!" He goes down.

Stealth: 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (5) + 20 = 25
Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20


Human Warpriest (cult leader) of Besmara 7 / HP 52 of 52 / F+6 R+6 W+9 / AC 23.19.15 / Init. +4 / Perc +12

Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11

The creepy voice scares Freigaar; the goblin cringes clutching the handaxe close to his body, and moving his head around looking for the source of the sound. Hardly disguising his fear, he lets Zunk take the lead. "Yes, yes, Zunk go first. If voice eats fat goblin, its belly gets full and rest of us is safe."

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