help playing a dad


Advice


So I'm in a new campaign as a paladin. My character is easily the oldest at 34 with everyone else being 17-20. In my backstory my pc has just become a father to a baby girl. I was thinking of uping the fatherly-ness and become the party dad. However, besides the lame dad jokes, how else do you be fatherly? I pay for the group during meals and when staying at an inn. Should I have talks with my new children or scold them or what?


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Set them bedtimes(watch times) and chores(survival checks), develop a hobby that would embarrass them if anyone outside the group learns about it.

Instead of Lay on Hands call it Pull My Finger.


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forbid female characters from going out in that outfit. tease the spell casters for spending all their time reading. have your character go out for cigarettes then stop showing up to the game.


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pocsaclypse wrote:
have your character go out for cigarettes then stop showing up to the game.

Ouch...


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Dadsplaining maybe?

"Now you see, what happened there was you let him hit you. If you don't want to get hurt, you've got to not let him hit you, son."

"Have you tried jumping around and avoiding the fireball? That might make it a little less toasty for you, kiddo."

"Oh wow. Back in the day, me and my war college buddies fought a lich like this. Steve-O got level drained so bad he had to spend a month at the clinic, but we got the job done. The trick is to hit him a lot, really hard, see? A lot. Really hard. I love you kids."

Also, acting like you put some ranks into Perform (Dance) but you totally haven't...


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Spend more time with your divine mount than with them and dont let anyone else ride it incase they damage it


Be in charge of the party loot and give them allowances.
No one can ride a mount until they have passed about 100 dc 10 ride tests. Then only let them have a pony.
Totally buy all the meals in but no one gets to drink ale but you


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Some serious responses:

If you're going this route, my first instinct is "Erastil is the perfect deity here." But really, most Lawful and Neutral Good deities will work in this case.

As for things to do in roleplay, consider what a paragon dad would do for his kids. A paladin that is meant to embody all the good, strong parts of fatherhood should be someone that puts those children first and stands in their defense even when they've done wrong. Take the brunt of the beatings for the party; be the first one into combat and the last one out. Your life is secondary to that of your children, both the literal one and the figurative ones. You are their shield.

An ideal father should be one that is firm but gentle, commanding authority without being a dictator, forgiving his wards of their faults while at the same time trying to steer them toward a better path. In that vein, don't threaten to smite the party rogue for picking pockets; instead, gently chide the rogue and try to convince them they can have your gold if in return they'll return what they stole to those they stole it from. You should not ignore your friends' wrongdoings, but you should try to accept them for what they are. You may be a paladin, and your goal may be to achieve spiritual and moral perfection, but you can't expect the same of your party members. They're only human.

Your role as party dad is to lead by example. Don't simply tell the other characters what the right thing to do is; DO it. Make the necessary sacrifices for the cause of good and justice. Walk the hard but righteous path.

And when the time for pragmatism comes, as the old man of the party, you should be willing to tell your party members "It's time to run." There's no dishonor in retreat - accepting that you've lost and getting away while you can makes you wise, not a fool. You can always fight that battle again when you're stronger and better prepared; there's no need to risk the lives of your children in a lost battle.

Outside of combat, you should try to make your character exude an air of patience, both with them and with NPCs. Listen carefully to what others say. And as previously said, try to be understanding.

And should you be forced to risk Falling (and thus losing your paladin powers), realize that this can be a powerful narrative device, especially in this case. There might be times when there is no clear best choice in a given situation, or lives depend on a speedy answer to a problem and you have to make a difficult decision that costs you your paladin's powers. Perhaps you have to do something damning to save your party or a town. Roleplay that out - get the Atonement spell when you can, but also roleplay out the regret you have for that decision. Also explain that as much as you regret that decision, you would make that decision again if you had to.

Hopefully that helps.


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Dad jokes.

Dad jokes everywhere.


"Back in my day, we didn't have no fancy magic weapons. We had to kill our ogres with sticks! And they weren't even pointy!"


You see Defiance? Great show, but Nolan fits the dad role pretty well. Not precisely a spring chicken but cares deeply about the young. He also tends to belittle people by calling them kids, and does mention some of the good old days.


I would ask the other players if they want you to be their dad.

And I would not overdo roleplaying it. A parent would take nearly all the decisions, which probably won't suit the game in other ways.

Be protective and fatherly when indicated, otherwise play normally. Parents are very different, most people get to be parents at some time.


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Pathfinder Lost Omens Subscriber
Inlaa wrote:
Some serious responses:---

This literally made me want to play an aging 'war hero' paladin who regrets a lot of the violence in his past but sees his current situation as an adventurer as a way to make up for the brashness of youth.

Also being so damn holy he sacrifices his Paladin-hood to take in the blast of some massive evil BBEG spell or ritual, knowing it will damn him but save the world, and as his armor cracks off his body under the force of the fell magic and he turns to the party, tears in his eyes, makes a dadly thumbs up.

Torag sees his true soul, purifies his body, and clads him in blessed armor. Instead of being damned, his willingness to fall for goodness instead redeems him beyond mortal ken, and becomes a half-celestial and s+~#cans the villain.

And then of course leaves the party to return home to his family who he has not seen in years, to begin the last part of his life and hopefully find peace for the first time in decades.

I may have some father issues.

OH MY GOD CALL HIM THE PALADAD!


I'd say look at how "Team Dads" act in other fiction. Leroy Jethro Gibbs is a good example of the stern, tough-love team dad, as an example. Most "actual" dads in fiction require Mental scores with deep penalties, but "team dads" in more work-related fiction would work.


In all seriousness, Inlaa hit the nail on the head for a great way to play (or be, for that matter) a dad or a paladin. One thing I'd add is, if you find yourself trying to figure out what the character should do, ask yourself what Uncle Iroh would do.


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im already calling him pali-dad then pali-done with your s+!%


Renarin Kholin wrote:
In my backstory my pc has just become a father to a baby girl.

How do you have time for adventuring?


my local lord ordered me to investigate stuff, and being a lawful person i follow what my leader says. Partner is taking care of the child. It gives a couple good hooks to my GM.


If anyone, and I mean anyone, harms your family/party you get between them and whoever they hurt and warn them, calmly and politely, not to do so again.


If he just recently became a father, then he won't have most of these traits (though they are funny to read). Some of them take time. If he is excited about being a new dad, then he would probably be motivated to get back to his family as soon as he can and make decisions accordingly. He might also take less risks, which could cause him to toe the line of his paladin code: "I must help these people, but is dying for what is right selfish now that I have more than myself to think about?" Paladinhood is simpler for those with no attachments.


Michael. Carpenter.

Silver Crusade

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GM: 'A burglar approaches angrily'
Dad: 'If you don't leave us alone, you won't get any ice cream' *roll Intimidate*
GM: 'The burglar is Shaken'
Dad: 'Hello Shaken, I'm Dad!'
GM: '...now he's also Sickened. Your joke made him sick'.


Ciaran Barnes wrote:
If he just recently became a father, then he won't have most of these traits (though they are funny to read). Some of them take time. If he is excited about being a new dad, then he would probably be motivated to get back to his family as soon as he can and make decisions accordingly. He might also take less risks, which could cause him to toe the line of his paladin code: "I must help these people, but is dying for what is right selfish now that I have more than myself to think about?" Paladinhood is simpler for those with no attachments.

Yeah, this is also really important to consider:

When you're a paladin, chances are you're going to die on the line of duty. It's practically a given. You're constantly throwing yourself at bigger and more dangerous evils in order to stop them.

So, your character is being a team dad. He's also a real dad (and I'd suggests his kid actually be like 4-10 years old instead of a newborn). He SHOULD be torn at times between love for his family, love for his surrogate family, and his devotion to his duty. After all, he's out there fighting because there's countless other families that need protecting from the evils of this world, is he not?

This is a character that ultimately probably won't be able to ACTUALLY settle down with his wife for a long, long time. If you can, take the time to have your character travel back home every now and then when the adventure allows; roleplay it as your character spending at least some time with his growing child and with his wife. But although he yearns to stay with his family, duty calls as it always does, and he rejoins his companions in the end.

And this is where you can play with the 'ideal paladin dad' thing most: as ideal as he may be to his party, to his ACTUAL family - is he? He's largely absent from his child's life right now. He's more a symbol of a dad than a dad. Perhaps his child may grow to resent this?

Chew on that - and definitely talk this over with your GM.

EDIT: Also, consider how his child was born. Was your paladin initially married to his wife? Did they intentionally have a child? Was this child born by accident, throwing a wrench into your character's plans as a traveling paladin? It's something to think about.


Hubaris wrote:
Michael. Carpenter.

Ja, dis one here^

I would add: young Michael Carpenter. You know, the one who is so badass he slays dragons off-screen. The one who handles 1/3rd of all the issues on the planet that could be described as "in dire need of some supernatural faith militant ass kicking". Be the guy who takes out the trash, works on the add-on, coaches his kids' soccer team, and then defies fallen angels in his front yard.

If you can pull that one off you'll be set.


If your daughter is threatened you start to go a little crazy...


I could imagine the daughter getting involved in an Evil or at least Chaotic cult later on as a form of rebellion, especially if Dad is always off saving the world and never has any time for her. I guess she could also just run off with a Bard or a Skald.

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