Reasons why we can't have nice things...


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Shadow Lodge

1. Because the wizard failed his/her craft check.


2. Sundering barbarian.


3. Because of kids these days

Scarab Sages

4. Low quality slaves bought in bulk to save a few coins.


5. Colour spray

Shadow Lodge

6. Disintegrate


7. They were summoned away.


8. Because goblins took over


9. Me


10. Hell Knights confiscated them


11. Enemy gear dissolves on death


12. Somebody disbelieved the illusion.


13. The ointment gets -everywhere-!


14. Because we are unworthy.

15. The GM is stingy on treasure.

16. The dungeon is an ancient Pier 1 Imports.


17. Paizo got taken down.

Shadow Lodge

Wylliam Harrison wrote:
17. Paizo got taken down.

Okay that's not funny. :(

18. The leprechaun lied about the pot of "gold" at the end of the "rainbow".


19. Censorship
20. Perversion of powers
21. That Guy, and his Magical Realms
22. FREAKING NINJAS.


23. Rogues.

24. Monks.

25. Martials.


Antimony wrote:

23. Rogues.

24. Monks.

25. Martials.

That`s more of list of the people who can`t get nice things than a reason on why we can`t have them. And really martials get plenty of nice things, it`s just that Barbarians hog most them being the unsharing type that they are.


Queen's Raven wrote:
Okay that's not funny. :(

Ah, i must've forgotten to add "because of lightning hitting their server." But hey, you asked for a reason.

26. Your parents think paizo hard prints are not worth it and give you a pair of mittens instead.

Shadow Lodge

27. sky pirates
28. space pirates
29. samoli pirates
30. Pittsburg pirates


31. Orc pirates, a.k.a. Gruumash & co.

Grand Lodge

32. Some jokester cast grease


33. Jokester casts obscuring mists and you hit zilch, jokester and friends hit you on every roll.

Liberty's Edge

34. Because someone has burned a permanent image of drandle dreng disrobed into your retinas. Everything you see is drandle, even yourself.


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35. Daddy didn't give attention, and the boy was something that Mommy couldn't wear.


36. We can have nice things. We just can't keep nice things. Cause, you know, Groetus.

Shadow Lodge

38. The Spanish Inquisition.


(Well that was unexpected.)

39. Cosmo, it's all his fault.


40. Druids


41. Because The Simpsons did it first.


42. Because we asked the wrong questions.


43. A wizard did it.


44. Coupon Queens bought it all already.


45. Because the Andoren parliament is stuck in partisan filibustering mode.


46. Undead armageddon has finally happened.

Scarab Sages

47. Because the military always gets dibs.

48. Because we refuse to use violence, no matter how bad things get.

49. Because The Computer Says So, Citizen!


Orthos wrote:
43. A wizard did it.

50. Or a wizard dind't care enough to do it.


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51. Because Electronic Arts got involved.

Scarab Sages

52. Because New World Computing was purchased by 3DO.

Shadow Lodge

53. Because Hasbro bought it.


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54. It's now subsidized by the US government.


55. Because our archer can now tunnel through 125 cubic feet of solid stone per minute
56. Because our monk can trip air elementals
True stories from a GM

Scarab Sages

57. Because of that one obsolete law from 1871 that everyone had forgotten about, but turns out to still be on the books.


58. Because someone is hiding in the closet

Scarab Sages

59. Because our GM is nothing more than a common minion!


60. Because the GM has too many minions


61. Because we have a GM


62. Because the dog ate the GM's notes


63. Because you have to be realistic about these things.

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