Sultan Flephublamyek's page

But not until the mailman has eaten first.

Ah, sharing is caring. Very good to see guest enjoying their delights with one another.

A coupon to get you a memory boost, in favor of the clown?

Also, am i correct this is the place to get a bloody mary sunday on the rocks?

We have as many liquors as we do spirits my fiendish friend. On the rocks, on the rocs, or with fox in sox on rocs on the rocks. As for the coupon, I seem to have forgotten where I put those...hmmm. Let me check with the halflings.

Wait!

I meant some stale that & fresh this.

Ah yes, goblinkin. Welcome my fine little friend you'll do nicely in the refuse heap out back. Watch out for the Bleached Otyugh though. Go on then enjoy.

*dry cough* Your turban?

Very well, this one was starting to get a funk to it. I suppose I could break out the new one your mother gave me.

My apologies young one, I forget that even those of odd god like natures can have feelings as tender as a mortal teenager lost in the whirlwind of puberty. Please forgive my impudence and take this magic jar of souls, pulled from the River Styx by the finest thieves. Well maybe not the finest, if they were the finest they would not have found themselves plying their trade on the River Styx. And here a salve from the Elysian Gardens made from the tears of a thousand virgins just before their prom night.

It just so happens Cthulhu is by the pool now, or more likely at the bottom of the deep end.
The dessert carts should be around any moment, the halflings won't even allow me in the kitchens. I believe we may not wish to know all of their secrets, ruins the mystery and all.
What happens in the Palace of Unearthly Delights stays in the Palace, Aroden's secrets are safe here. Our cantaloupes are grown fresh in the gardens here and the vegetable shortening is made from fresh vegepygmies.

It would seem that my guest are less concerned with delights and pleasures, and more concerned with ruling the universe. Though I suppose each has their own "delights". The library here at the Palace of Unearthly Delights is home to every book ever published, we even have nook and kindle versions. Please have a valid ID or library card ready so that you may check out the tomes you are looking for. As for Groteus and his adventures in the Boneyard, I believe those are best left answered in person when one enters the Boneyard on that fateful day.

Sadly last week the universe's soul was touched by GoatToucher and is in rehab. As for toast, GoatToucher used it to touch the soul of the universe and subsequently had to be tossed into the pits of Mount Doom. The halflings left with it yesterday. Could I interest you in some nice pita loaf and the soul of an unborn galaxy perhaps?

Grey Rose of the Bush CR 5
XP 1,600
CE Medium plant
Init +1; Senses low-light vision, tremorsense; Perception +0
DEFENSE

AC 18, touch 11, flat-footed 17 (+1 Dex, +7 natural)
hp 52 (7d8+21)
Fort +8, Ref +3, Will +2
Immune cold, plant traits
Weaknesses cold lethargy
OFFENSE

Speed 20 ft.
Melee slam +10 (1d8+7)
Special Abilities Annoying Mimicry
STATISTICS

Str 20, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 13, Wis 11, Cha 18
Base Atk +5; CMB +10; CMD 21 (25 vs. trip)
Skills Bluff +20
ECOLOGY

Environment forest (warm)
Organization solitary, pair, or garden (3–8)
Treasure incidental
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Annoying Mimicry (Ex) The Grey Rose of the Bush can perfectly imitate certain sounds or even specific voices. The Grey Rose of the Bush makes a Bluff check opposed by the listener's Sense Motive check to recognize the mimicry, although if the listener isn't familiar with the person or type of creatures mimicked, it takes a –8 penalty on its Sense Motive check. The Grey Rose of the Bush has a +8 racial bonus on its Bluff check to mimic sounds (including accents and speech patterns, if a voice mimic) it has listened to for at least 10 minutes. The Grey Rose of the Bush cannot duplicate the effects of magical abilities (such as bardic performance or a harpy's captivating song), though it may be able to mimic the sound of those abilities. This ability does not allow the creature to speak or understand languages it doesn't know.

Now careful with this delicate little flower. She needs much care and love and is prone to eating her owners in the night. Also that mimicry will get a bit annoying but with time and training you can teach her manner of wonderful and delightful insults.

My friend if it was still mine to give it would be yours. Alas the down payment and escro on a place as fine as this is indeed steep.

Go down to the garage and pick one out. But remember you blow it up, you bought it. Also I will need to see your certificate of graduation from the Time Lord academy.

The soup kitchen here at the Palace of Unearthly Delights is ran by some of the best Halfling cooks from Cheliax. Clam Chowder is for the riff raff, have some Half-Celestial Clam Chowder. No, no, no. Korean spicy chicken is so bland, have some of Alaeron's special blend spicy owl bear soup.
GoatToucher, the mustard packets are being delivered personally by my naga masesuse, and some of Katapesh's finest wares.

That hot chocolate was from one of my special private stores.

The drive through is open even late. Please have a look at our value menu. Also we are having a special on faerie pies, buy 2 get 1 free. Please once you have made your selection pull up to the first window to pay the attendant and your order will be ready at the second window. The Universal Ointment is included in all orders.

Fortunately for you my sightless friend, one of the many doors here at the PoUD opens to that marvelous city, Tanelorn. From there the Moon Beam roads are yours to travel. If you see our friend Moonglum, tell him he owes me a story.

Actually that's Mrs. Cheney.

I want to New World Computing to rise from the corporate grave, complete with Jon Van Caneghem at the helm, and take back its rightful Might & Magic franchise!

Oh, yeah, and Justice for the past 15 years of shameless fascist dystopia would be a sight for sore eyes, as well - I want to see Dick Cheney and a few dozen other people damned Jacob Marley-style!

Ah, it is to be expected that some request are going to be a bit more challenging. I believe you are seeking the Protean Room IHIYC. Down the wormhole to the chaos void, third endless chasm on your right. Wait, left, no right, no left... well best of luck. That part of the PoUD is always a little bit difficult to navigate.

Indeed baby Brownies have been a hit here in the past. The older ones tend to be a bit chewy.

Come, come my friends enjoy all that my palace has to offer. Tell us your deepest desires, be it buxom wenches, tall dark and mysterious strangers, gnome bondage. Or perhaps you have a taste for exotic dishes, unicorn roast with a marmalade glaze. Ah, I think maybe a game of chance is more to your liking, the game room is this way.

Hear, I call it science.
Next poster would you kindly entertain us with a rousing story of the good ol' days.

Because GoatToucher ate it already. Or is it because the candy is a lie. Wait no that's not it.
Anyway GoatToucher is the Artist formerly known as GerbilHider.

Yes, and I gave it to him.
The next poster spent a year living with a clan of bugbears.

191. alien abductions

Alick had a brief career as Mace Windu's sabre crystal.

Such a shiny bauble should not just be left lying around. Come Alick allow me to place you and the win in my treasure vaults deep, deep, deep, deep in my palace.

Banned for goblin farming out of season

If you want a beating you can enjoy, I have a most skilled priestess of Calistra in my employ that can work such magic on your most sensitive parts.

glorious

TAK is banned for be so easily distracted by a butterfly.

I send my squad of assassins to fetch me Pulg's pelt as my newest throw rug.

IHIYC is banned for hiding in the pantry and not a closet.

Most unwholesome if done properly, and if done improperly...well hehe well oh you know.

4. Low quality slaves bought in bulk to save a few coins.

...Sandworms

Indeed, I believe GoatToucher would enjoy a stay at my Palace of Unearthly Delights. Though I am afraid the goat herders may rue the day he comes to visit. Maybe a few Djinn could be summoned to tend to his eclectic desires.

I have it on good authority that Pulg has a disturbingly large collection of autographed GoatToucher 8x10 promotional photos.

Poog is banned for daring to speak upon behalf of the great and amazing and all powerful Sultan Flephublamyek!