Order 66


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I replace GoatToucher's lube with caustic soda.


Pulg wrote:
I replace GoatToucher's lube with caustic soda.

Nice...

I leave Pulg's curlers in too long, and he burns up.


I give GoatToucher a Luxembourg necktie thereby ending his life. It's like a Columbian necktie but comes with more potatoes.


Two words: Giant shoe


Five words: Wooden Eggs In Your Brain.


Five words: hair removal cream


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You have 5 seconds to get away from de detonation:
1...
2...
3...Boom!


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Kileanna was <insert aliases name>
No escape from reality.


Poog call in favor from MBT, to crush earth puppet.

Dark Archive

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"THE" Poog of Zarongel, let me show you my famous 'disappearing pencil' trick....

*holds pencil right in front of Poog's face so he can get a good clear look at it, then uses sleight of hand to perfectly balance the pencil on the tippy-top ridge of Poog's head; it stays perfectly balanced regardless of how Poog turns or bends his head, and Poog, unconsciously tantalized by the barely-perceptible point of pressure on the top of his skull, becomes obsessed with finding where the pencil disappeared to; obsession leads to mania; mania leads to insanity; insanity leads to Poog walking into a giant pencil sharpener disguised as the door to a library, where he his flesh is shorn from his bones...the pencil still perfectly balanced on the tip of his cranium*

Those I seek to destroy I first drive mad! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!


Speaking of madness, I put headphones on Skiron while he's scheming his next kill. It's dubstep...he jumps off a cliff with a smile on his face.

Scarab Sages

I put JTDV under a giant magnifying glass....


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

I pull out my blaster and shoot IHIYC. Then I shoot him a few more times just to make sure. I then launch him out the nearest airlock. Finally I open fire with the ship's guns. Hey, sometimes you gotta go with the classics.


*Feeds the Kraken from «the last one to post wins» with Uncle Teddy*

Ugly squid eat you.


I eat Cookmate Cookie.


GROOOAARRRAR!!!

*Eats Fred*

Dataphiles

*BWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!*

*falls from space and lands on Bloodfang, Dire Tyrannosaur*


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I install Windows 10 on R2-FU.


I turn sissyl's hat inside out while its still on her head.


I put a sign on Vidmaster7's nose, advertising it as a hostel for cave morays with very short tempers.


I check Pulg for a pulse.


I pulse Sissyl, in a blender of course.


I put The Game Hamster in a Battle Arena in a three way with Sissyl and Pulg.

Results:

Victory goes to...Sissyl.
Death to...The Game Hamster
PetSmart coupon for 1 free wax job...Pulg

Scarab Sages

I throw a large potato at JTDV with deadly accuracy.


I crush IHIYC beneath an even larger potato.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

I stuff Pulg into a Mr. Potato Head.


I animate the wings on UT's helmet, and laugh when the helmet tears off his head and flies off.


I tell Sissyl a funny joke. The act of trying to crack a smile breaks her face as she slumps over, lifeless.


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I feed JTDV a Bad potato he gets sicks loses a bunch of weight. works hard gets healthier starts jogging on his 3rd day of jogging Boom gets hit by a car. Survives; Recovers; makes it home finds the potato takes a bite and dies almost instantly. (I mean if it made you sick the first time JTDV why take a bite months later?).


I spray Vid with itch powder drenched in sugar water.

Scarab Sages

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*game show music plays*

Sissyl, meet your long-lost anti-matter twin!!! Come on out here and give your ol' sis a hug, Lyssis!

*sound of audience tearfully cheering, followed by sound of massive explosion*


I launch a tiny potato from a rail-gun into IHIYC's jester-brain.


I strangle Pulg with my Prehensile Hair.

Who has the better hair now, Pulg?


Kileanna doesn't die from lack of health insurance,
it was just the gods will that she died from a treatable illness and that the gods didn't shower her with their favor so she had no money to pay for healing.
You should have prayed harder.


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Roni after going too Dark with his last comment couldn't see where he was going and walked right off a cliff.


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Curious fact is that I live in a country with government payed healthcare and it's probably one of the best things of living in my country. someone who works for public healthcare, what Roni said seems like one of the most awful deaths to me. I support an organisation called Doctors Without Borders that send medical aid to countries in less fortunate countries because that is a problem that worries me a lot. Sorry for the long speech. You caught a soft point.

I make Vid read all my lengthy posts, one after another, making his head explode.


I fill a massive balloon with a decent barrel of sulphuric acid. I then disguise the balloon as rocks, and put it as the ceiling of a cave with low ceiling. Finally, I put a bowl of spicy mini-Cthulhus inside the cave.

Then I sit down to wait.


Family dead! Noooooooo! Evil changeling eat family!

*Goes berserk and kills everyone on sight, both Kileanna and Sissyl, impaling them on a pitchfork. The acid device seems to have failed, though*

How did Cookie manage to pronounce Cangeling correctly if he barely speaks Common remains a mystery. I don't even know why he knows what a changeling is.


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*wants to check out acid balloons*
*taps gently accidentally triggering trap watch as balloons fall where grindylow is berzerking*

Ah oops.


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*Frenzies around for a time, undamaged*
*Checks his own statblock to realize that he doesn't have immunity to acid damage*
*As he dies, the fourth wall crumbles and falls on everyone on this thread, crushing them to death*

I kilked my own character, I think I have just made the next poster's job


Just to make sure, I trap Cookie in the lair of a vampiric potato.


There is too much talk of potato around here so I'm changing it up. I asphyxiate Pulg by stuffing his mouth full of French fries!


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I time travel back to the early 2000s, and bring back a CIA agent, who I then inform that JTDV called it "french" fries, despite the presidential decree that it's supposed to be "Freedom" fries.


I establish a telepathic connection with Sissyl for ten seconds, allowing her to hear/view/experience my surface thoughts.


I get "Scaramouche" to "Do the Fandango" with GT.

Magnifico-o-o-o-o!

Liberty's Edge

Mama... Just killed a Pulg. Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger, now he's dead.


I killed Elisa. I killed her with a sword.

Shadow Lodge

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"I see a little Sissyl, wetter than Oman!"

"Spill her juice, spill her juice, will you kill this virago?"

I kill her with THUNDERBOLTS AND LIGHTNING!!!

"Very, VERY frightening - whee!!!"

"D'OH-HOHOHOHOOOO...!"
"D'OH-HOHOHOHOOOO...!"
"D'OH-HO-HO-HO, D'OH-HO-HO-HO, D'OH-HO-HO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"


Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime


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We will, we will throw rocks at you <stomp | stomp | clap>!

...and now Sylvyana is no longer the Killer Queen

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