Order 66

Forum Games

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I turn Skiron Skiroff

I take GM MacShack to a gas station. I buy him some sunflower seeds and a soda. Then I pop his top and shake out all of his fluid, refilling his brain case with gasoline. I climb back on him, wave at the cashier, and drive him down the road until he sputters, stalls, and ultimately quits working. With GM MacShack now dead, I can't help thinking that he died still owing me for the sunflower seeds and soda. :\

Scarab Sages

And now, an introductory lesson in classical mechanics! Behold....

*shoves a jack in JTDIII's maw, operates it until it splits JTDIII's head open crosswise*

:looks TA-K over:

:scoff: Nice mandibles! :rolls eyes:

:TA-K dies from shame:

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Oh look, GT, a free Fleshlight!

{To audience, behind cupped hand} "Yes - a Fleshlight of Devouring! Muahahahahaha!"

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I set Pulg up on a blind date with GoatToucher's cousin, PulgToucher! Unfortunately, the wrong person ends up dead.

So I send Pulg on a parasailing vacation, without a parasail! He's drug along the water at high speed, with his own bow wave smothering any attempt to lift his head. Unfortunately, enough air is trapped in the recesses of his fur and he's able to survive.

So I push Pulg off a cliff to his doom! Unfortunately, his fall is cushioned by his special follicle defense.

Frustrated, I attack him with an industrial-grade vacuum cleaner! Unfortunately he clogs it up and I spend the next 3 hours cleaning the drum. Do you know how big and how many parts are on an industrial-grade vacuum cleaner?

Sad and defeated, I get in my car and drive away. Unfortunately for Pulg, I accidentally back over him pulling out of the driveway, killing him instantly.

The Exchange

I provide JTDV with corrective glasses for his dyslexia.

Signing his name the next day he realises it's actually an acronym for his daytime job - TeleVision Disc Jockey, but he's been writing incorrectly this entire time.

He rushes into work, and his haste to produce the perfect set, he drops the base....literally.
It crushes his foot, but he ignores the pain to continue pumping out the awesome dubstep.

He eventually dies from toxic shock when the base is lifted from his crushing wound.

I introduce Wrath to Fred Jones from Scooby-Do. Fred is exceedingly competitive when it comes to the wearing of ascots, and he quickly tears Wrath's head from his shoulders in a fit of rage.

He laps at the blood squirting from Wrath's neck-stump like one drinking from a water fountain, making elaborate "Num-num-num!" Noises.

That Fred, man: He's got some problems.

Scarab Sages

All too easy.

I yank GoatToucher right in front of Freddie with a comical Vaudeville long cane, where he cannot possibly fail to notice that HE TOO, is wearing an ascot....

I guillotine IHIYC for not wearing an ascot.

I strangle Pulg to death with an ascot.

Pulg wrote:
I guillotine IHIYC for not wearing an ascot.
GM MacShack wrote:
I strangle Pulg to death with an ascot.

Hoist on your own petard! How Shakespearean!

I fill GM_McS's brain tank with ascots, which absorb his nutrient fluid, slowly starving him.

Scarab Sages

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I hire a Scot to beat GoatToucher's ass with a cot.

I ask Scott to, as caut-tiously as he can, to cover IHIYC's Vaudeville cane in sovereign glue and kerosene, then light it on fire.

I tell Scotty to beam up GM MacShack...into the vacuum of space. It doesn't actually kill him but he floats there for the rest of his natural life.

I sell JTDIII to a very undiscriminating glue factory.

I sell Pulg to a very undiscriminating wig factory.

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I sell GM MacShack to certain farm boy who was going to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters.

I sell JTDV to a entomologist who will add him to his collection.

The Exchange

I sell Kileanna to Pulg, whose two brick-wives leap up in jealous rage and smash her head in from both sides.

I push Khāṇa Tsogtsos into a large pool of lemonade. That's when the Lemon Sharks get him! Heh!

I change JTDIII from mutant Mr. Ed to mutant Mr. DEAD, merely by adding two letters and some capitalisation.

I eat Pulg.

ACK!!! ... I might have just killed myself?!

… I think my work here is already done.
Just to be sure, I give JTDV some lovely cement shoes, and throw him over Niagara Falls.

I rip off R2-D2's skin. Therein lies GM MacShack, exposed to the elements. He dies shortly after, and I sell his skin to an off-world trader.

I challenge JTDIII to a duel. But around pace number six, the doctor (who I bribed) tackles JTDIII and beats him to death.

I tell a gastrointestinal distressed giant from my clinic that GM _MS is a curative suppository, and that the shrieks and crunching notices mean that it's working.

Sovereign Court

*Spews corrosive acid onto GoatToucher, giving him a nice relaxing shower before he dies.*

Horizon Hunters

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Power Sword!

Power Lance!

Power Bow!

Power Flail!

Power Cuisinart!


*sprouts Mecha-Shiva cyber-arms and kills The Invenusable Flytrap with all six weapons at once*

*Waddles over to the wall and unplugs Laser Clown*

Sprays down Pulg with Godzilla-attracting pheromones and lets nature do the rest.

Scarab Sages

*sends JTDV back through space and time to yesterday in rural Wyoming to treat ith to the eclipse, but neglects to teleport ith back; if awe and/or terror at the event doesn't kill ith, the agonizing hours-long traffic jam on the way back will*

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:sends Vladek eighteen years into the future, when all of the evil wizards born yesterday will come of age, gain their powers, and begun their conquest of the Earth.:

I Turn GoatToucher inside out (where he can only touch himself). He doesn't die though, so I sacrifice him to the Gods of Ungulates. They are pleased and offer me a time-share.

JTD wrote:
I Turn GoatToucher inside out (where he can only touch himself). He doesn't die though...

Of course not! It's not as if it was the first time, and it is not likely to be the last.

I use a light bulb to mesmerize JTD and entice him into my house, where the housecats make quick work of him.

I shove GoatToucher into a vat of radioactive liquid. It doesn't give him superpowers, it just makes him super dead.

I carefully crack open GM MacShack's dome and eat his brain.

I behead ADM with a morganti vorpal blade.

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I push Sissyl into the path of a herd of rampaging Bonnie Tylers.

Sovereign Court

I use my +5 Hairbrush to brush all those unsightly Pulgs out of my gorgeous hair.

I collect the Pulgs and form them into Pulgasari, who I sic on Mercutio Menschjaeger.

I sell GM MacShack as silicone implant filler.

I kill Sissyl for using my vorpal sword to behead me, not hers

Scarab Sages

*How* do you kill her? That's the important part here, not "why" - the "why" was established at the outset: Order 66 has been given.

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I take I'm Hiding In Your Closet for a fast ride in a low tunnel, thus decapitating him. Ug, his corpse still clings to me and and is starting to stink. But the worst part is every now and then his corpse starts juggling.

Scarab Sages

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My corpse starts juggling chainsaws and grenades. Being an expert, it emerges unscathed from the performance...but JTDIII isn't so lucky.

Sovereign Court

I use my ability to control the very air itself to turn IHIYC's corpse into a blood soaked tornado that I unleash upon ADM, which tears him apart then I set the "bloodnado" on fire to make sure that ADM is well and truly dead.

*(I know that I'm supposed to kill IHIYC, but he's already a corpse)*.

Ah, Count Heydrich! Such a pleasure. Nurse, turn the Count over and warm up the nozzle on the pump-action garlic enema-o-matic, will you?

GM MacShack wrote:
I shove GoatToucher into a vat of radioactive liquid. It doesn't give him superpowers, it just makes him super dead.

Using my Super-Dead powers, I summon a horde of undead goats to devour Pulg, then collect the resulting bezoars.

I summon a horde of bezoars yeah, I looked it up but just go with me on this one which amass over GoatToucher, thus asphyxiating him. His last words were, "I've <gasp> seen enough <gasp> to know where this <gasp> is going!"

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