Order 66


Forum Games

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Force IHIYC to worship Safety Bear until he(or is it she, I dont know?) dies of old age. Which does not take long around Safety Bear. SAFETY BEAR IS THE GOD OF SAFETY, BEARS, AND TIME!!!!!!!


Safety bear is... well, why not? Mauled by angry weasels.


Sissyl is run over by 500 very overweight majorettes.

Scarab Sages

I take Safety Bear's eyes and plug them into Pulg's optic nerves with the help of Safety Bear's one true disciple, Dr. Ben Carson. The cumulative sensory and cognitive vertigo caused by the sudden rush of both Safety Bear's and Carson's delusions causes Pulg's brain to implode.


When IHIYC does his usual blindfolded and barefoot morning run through Needle Park while holding a pair of scissors point-first in front of him, I snitch on the jester to Safety Bear, who confines him in a large rubber pumpkin until he suffocates.


Since Safety Bear now has the scissors, I point accusitorily at Pulg and Safety Bear goes to work on Pulg with said scissors. Once all the hair is cut off Pulg, he expires moments later from a slight chill.


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I send MD to Robot Hell. He quite enjoys the musical numbers before being completely melted down and cast into toilet seats, each with a tiny portion of his consciousness, all sent to St. Mungo's Home for the Mercilessly Incontinent.

Scarab Sages

I animate GoatToucher's ascot, which strangles him until his head comes off.

*POP!*


I order a drop on top of IHIYC, it's called The Blob.


I use my vast mental powers to awaken the wire-like hairs of TFF's goatee and send them burrowing into his brain.

Scarab Sages

I sneak out of GoatToucher's Closet while he's asleep, and over the course of a week or two, use repeat applications of a crown-of-thorns-starfish to subtly score equidistant fault lines in his skull. Once the process is complete, I need only use one of countless methods to trip him as he walks by, and as soon as his head hits the floor, it shatters like an overfull china jam jar.

Sovereign Court

I crush IHIYC in a compactor, turning him into a cube, then I stick twenty five candles in his body and light them whilst singing happy birthday to myself.

Dark Archive

*jams firehose down Avatar of Zon-Kuthon's throat, turns spigot, pumps water into Avatar of Zon-Kuthon until he explodes*

I saw an officer of the law do this once, I swear it! You've got nothing on me, A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!


I sell Skiron some deathsticks.

Grand Lodge

"Deathstick?" You mean like this one?

*beats Sissyl to death with quarterstaff*


Casts Shatter. Death by all of the splinters!

Liberty's Edge

Anonymous Warrior, I hereby name you "Summer Burrowing Tetrahedron" - and in so doing, obliterate you in an ontological paradox!


I set about Xavante with a montante, while singing a chantay about Alicante.


I make Pulg fight his evil and far-superior enemy Glup, therefore killing him. I then shoot Glup with one of my eyes, ensuring that there are no loose ends


I use a perfectly executed Spinning Exploding Headbutt on ULTRAGEEK. Tiny gobbets of beholder splatter over the ground.

Liberty's Edge

*perforates Sissyl with a thistle missile, silent but for a whistle*


Gets Zeno out on the stage, his towel swinging high.

Towel gets caught in stage light.

Stage light falls down.

Loxley is crushed to a pulp.

ZENO-OH!

Sovereign Court

I tell Pulg that he is unable to contract deadly diseases from anyone. So, using himself as the guinea pig, Pulg sets to work hoping to prove me wrong. And he succeeds, he contracts a deadly disease... And does from it.

Dataphiles

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*returns from the long journey through the galaxy that Molten Dragon had sent it on last page ago, having boomeranged around the black hole at the center, and comes swinging back just in time to smash into Avatar of Zon-Kuthon's head at near-light speed*


Bludgeons R2 with a hammer.

Scarab Sages

*uses prestidigitation to thoroughly sanitize GoatToucher and flavor him of animal repellent, causing him to die of shock, shame, grief, and ontological crisis*


I show Sihir Aneh those photos they thought destroyed from their last trip to Vegas. They also expire due to shock and shame. Mainly shame.

Scarab Sages

I shall field-test my pogo stick-jackhammer on this conveniently-located Molten Dragon's head!

*DING!-DING!-DING!-DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!!!!*


You fool! Your pogo stick-jackhammer activated my trap card! I use Pogo Stick-Jackhammer Reversal! You lose all your life points! MIND CRUSH!
*crunch*


Channel fireballs Unluckyblackjack into oblivion.


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I impale Sissyl on her own head.


I awaken GoatToucher's conscience.


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Pulg wins a contest I rigged and won free burgers and cream cakes for life, and suffers a heart attack 18 years later. LE ALWAYS thinks ahead.

Scarab Sages

I detonate MageHunter's head with my psionic powers.


I drop my psionic tower on IHIYC. Messy to say the least.


I brain Molten Dragon with some lead gladioli.


I set a gaggle of south Asian body waxers on Pulg. After ten minutes he is reduced to nothing but hirsute memories on paper strips.


I sneak up on GoatToucher and kill him with goat horns. I then whisper,

You will never hurt another barnyard animal again...


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I obtain GoatToucher's phylactery, secrete it in MageHunter's ...ears..., then wait for the vengeful monstrosity to regenerate in his new host


I will shackle the pulg head under ground and leave him in the "ostritch position" and spray him down with super charged goat pheremones.....

Scarab Sages

I put KenderKin in a giant blender and hit Frappe.

*WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHCHUGGACHUGGACHUGGA!!!*


That's nothin'. I strap IHIYC to a comfy chair, staple his eyelids open and force him to watch Suicide Squad until his brain melts.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

I cover Molten Dragon in honey then release an army of mutant half-dragon Winnie the Pooh clones.


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I forge Winnie The Pooh's discharge papers from the Hundred Acre Asylum for the Criminally Insane, giving the bear a series of Occult Clues indicating that Uncle Teddy is orchestrating the voices in his head.

Scarab Sages

I go tell Rabbit that Pulg's been stealing from his garden.


I send Eeyore as a happy telegram to IHIYC.

Scarab Sages

I give Sissyl a job as a singing telegram girl.


IHIYC discovers that Toby from Paranormal Activity is actually hiding in his closet.

Dark Archive

I slip a lethal dose of anaesthetic into berserker444's drink.

Interestingly, it turns out the adrenaline was the only thing keeping him alive in the first place....


I send Dr. ZV a candygram....landshark

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