Undead are evil and should be freed from their negative energy prisons. Esban plane shifts Ashur to the positive energy plane.
I creep out of Esban Silvermoon's Closet at night, surreptitiously sanding the back edges of his jawbone until finally it has been rendered razor-sharp, at which point simply opening his mouth causes him to slice his own head off.
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I chain the closet where you are hiding and drop it into the bottom of the sea.
By the way, Esban, you have made Ashur overheal to death...being a paladin for the undead he is actually alive xD
I belt-sand Sandara Quinn's chin.
You don't mess with my crew!
I intimidate Pulg until he pees himself in fear. Then I animate the urine so it strangles Pulg to death.
I hook Captain Kiani the Blue up to a huge transparent balloon, then release her into the sky - since she blends in, nobody notices her and she slowly dies of exposure.
I lock IHIYC in a closet, then I shred the door a la Monsters incorporated. I repeat this process as necessary until he is finally trapped in a closet forever!!
I feed The Game Hamster to a snake.
I feed Uncle Teddy to The Game Hamster.
I give Pulg a nuggie, and then walk away. What Pulg did not know is he is now charged with static electricity. Which in turn attracts a thunderbolt to strike him from the electrical storm outside.
I rub UC against Pulg, then use static cling to attach her to the bottom of a cargo helicopter. When the charge dissipates...
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Nukes GT from orbit.
Then does it again, just to be sure.
Shrinks down to an infinitesimally small size, climbs harmlessly into Zoltan's head, then spontaneously enlarges himself, exploding Zoltan's brain instantaneously.
I use my paralyzing touch on the Game Hamster. Then I have my shield guardian pound him into paste.
I also take the books, intent on learning the secrets of the Game Hamster's power.
Devours the lich's mind as he discovers the secrets to my nigh-cosmic powers, as the secrets are terrible, and also slightly humorous, to behold, these emotions permanently damaging his undead mind, as he was not supposed feel emotions any longer, since become a lich removes such organs functions from your body.
*nukes the hamster from orbit*
It's the only way to be sure.
*Magic Jars on Sissyl and goes to Friend Computer*
I confess that I am Commie Mutant Scum.
*Dismisses Magic Jar and waits*
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I sign Seleena Duskmantle up for self-defense classes, and inform her that the instructor adores gifts of fresh fruit.
BURN CLOSET
HOLD DOOR CLOSE
I enjoy a lengthy night of sybaritic pleasures, including imbibing large amounts of inebriating fluids. I then stumble to FSG's pyre, and, helped by a dozen or so close friends, douse the golems flames. The natural way.
Playing a pipe, I skip through the countryside gathering goats into the ultimate herd army. With the goats amassing behind me, I trip GoatToucher and pipe out the tune to Kim Wilde's Kids in America while rushing past. The goats also rush forward in a frenzy...
Ah... Bracing!
Here's $20 for your trouble.
:the $20 is cursed:
I persuade GoatToucher to enter himself
As a contestant on the legendarily deadly Japanese game show Sōsēji no fukushū, or Sausage's Revenge.
I stick Pulg into one of the sausages, and allow GT to do all of my work after that...
I enter tGH as studio audience for a restart of Hold your Plums! For the first four hundred episodes, all recorded back to back.
I animate Sissyl's headpiece, so it crushes her like a claw.
I command Sissyl's animated headpiece to crush Wylliam Harrison like a claw.
I use Polymorph any Object to turn Sissyl's animated headpiece into GoatToucher. Then I polymorph Seleena into a goat.
GROSS!
I prop Zoltan's eyelids open with cocktail sticks and make him watch an HD video of the proceedings on a loop.
Shaving cream and a keen razor will do the trick. Who would have thought there was nothing under the hair?!?
Cook fish woman!!! Tasty!
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Poor Alric. He's hungry.
*Force feeds him until he explodes. Think of the first of the killings in Seven. Like that.*
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I brush my teeth really well. Take that, A Saliva Colonizer!
I have replaced I'm Hiding In Your Closet's toothpaste with superglue. Let's sit back and watch what happens!
I show Sissyl a burlap sack half full of yellow split peas.
Shows Pulg an ultra-high-def live feed of 635 basilisks
wouldn't that petrify the camera?
Becomes a basilisk in front of Iron federation drone.
I put a Basilisk on top of those books.
JTDV was eaten by a lizard-like kaiju
Channels positive energy with my all cleric bowling team against ulgulanoth.
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I make Dervish Aakif repeat the word «ulgulanoth» over and over again until he has a knot in his tongue and is suffocated by it.
I stick Kileanna's head in a mithril waffle iron.
I wrap IHIYC in magnesium ribbon and set it alight.
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Dervish Aakif wrote: Channels positive energy with my all cleric bowling team against ulgulanoth. Would these happen to be called "holy rollers"?
I run Pulg through a thousand curling irons... AT THE SAME TIME!!!
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Mousetrap loaded with a SlimJim.
"Snap in to a SlimJim" takes on a whole new meaning!
May not kill TGH
Hits JTDV with a stick... backfires. Hits JTDV with Deathstar beam.
Something like this
I stare at Ko-Ko seductively until their mind shuts down as a self defense mechanism.
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