False factoids

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

GoatToucher wrote:

If you put a goat in one of IHIYC's closets for twenty minutes, it will emerge quite irrevocably mad.

So, any Closet, anywhere.

Pulg not only once survived getting caught in a sharknado, he got to be on the TV afterwards when his local news station filmed him describing the sound it made!

[KahnyaGnorc]

IHIYC started out as part of a clownado, but blew into the closet of one Patricia Yorensen of Casper, WY, and the rest is history.

[GoatToucher]

Patricia Yorensen of Casper, WY is KAHNYAGNORC'S FATHER!!!

:dramatic music:

[Pulg's Fairy Monkeyboard Trio]

DOOT DOOTDOOOT!

PRAPHAPAH!

gnuuuuUUUUUUU!

GoatToucher is Casper, WY. Or maybe the opposite is true.

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

Pulg's Fairy Monkeyboard Trio is the favourite toy of Claw the giant monkey.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Malvel and Claw have a standing game of poker every Thursday night at Crazy Bob's Casino and Fireworks Emporium in Hillcrest, NC, mainly because Crazy Bob blew up all the chairs.

[JTDV]

I heard that KahnyaGnorc once had a fling with a woodchuck. Or was it chucked a woodfling? I can't remember because after eating some of KahnyaGnorc's fermented pot roast, it's all a blur.

[KahnyaGnorc]

JTDV is my goto for most of my cooking experiments, largely due to his immunity to food poisoning.

[Dr G House MD, DDS, DVM]

KG got kicked out of culinary school not for poisoning the faculty, but for [Redacted]. I was one of the first-respoders, so I know what I am talking about.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Dr G House MD, DDS, DVM, studied under the late, great Mr. G Samsa.

[KahnyaGnorc]

IHIYC was hiding in the school's meat locker at the time of the [Redacted]ing, going by the moniker of "I'm Hiding In Your Meat Locker," of course.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

KahnyaGnorc used to dance with the Intel Bunnymen.

[JTDIII]

One time I'm Hiding In Your Closet didn't. He was just casually sitting in the living room flipping through some coffee table magazine right in plain sight. I actually checked the closets anyway. It was weird.

[KahnyaGnorc]

JTDIII has dentures, not to wear, but as a souvenir from a wild weekend in Florida, eating the residents, seeing the sights, procreating with the local gator population. You know, the standard tourist stuff.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

KahnyaGnorc has been tapped by Marvel to direct their highly-anticipated "Florida Man" movie (screenplay by - who else??? - Dave Barry).

[The Plutocat]

IHiYC is supposed to have a role in the up coming broadway musical "I'm coming out." Headlined of course by Diana Ross.

[Pulg]

The Plutocat used to be known as TV's Flying Pie Doctor, travelling around the Australian outback and performing lifesaving operations on flying pies.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

Pulg used to have a flying pie as a pet. It was alas, the only one The Plutocat couldn't save.

[Skiron]

Dedrick, The Professor once engineered a minotaur out of maize! Ingeniously wicked - and the pun was not even intended!

[KahnyaGnorc]

Skiron popped the minotaur for one of his infamous movie nights.

[Pulg]

KahnyaGnorc's scrapyard, Macho Man Randy Salvage, failed due to a complete absence of broken-down Macho Man Randys.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Pulg is know in some circles as the Randy Nacho Man.

[Kat's Eye]

KahnyaGnorc was last seen at the house of a certain political contributor having his [censor]Redacted[/censor].

[KahnyaGnorc]

Kat's Eye was there as a political spy, working undercover as the contributor's daughter's pet cat.

[Trillion the Three-Headed Lion]

*Presents evidence showing that KahnyaGnorc was the contributor's daughter's pet's toy.*

[KahnyaGnorc]

Trillion the Three-Headed Lion was the contributor's daughter's pet's toy's mount.

[Shere Khan]

KahnyaGnorc is just trying to obscure his guilt with inanity.

[Sliska Zafir]

When it comes to tongue-grooming themselves, Shere Khan sure can.

[GoatToucher]

Sliska Zafir's profile image was taken at the moment when they saw their genitals for the first time.

[Pulg]

GoatToucher's profile picture was taken when he saw Sliska's genitals for the first time.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Pulg is the spitting image of Sliska Zafir's genitals.

[KahnyaGnorc]

IHIYC is an alternate universe's version of Gene Simmons, if his tongue became sentient and struck out on its own (which is Sliska Zafir, btw)

[JTDV]

KahnyaGnorc is neither here nor there.

[The Last Question]

Do you like green eggs and ham?
Would you if you know what they am?
Do you think green eggs come from cartons?
Do you think they're laid by martens?
Will you still like them when you see
green eggs are laid by JTDV!?

[Your Closet]

TLQ wrote a series of rhyming children's books under the pen name: "Dr Seuss".

[KahnyaGnorc]

Your Closet is full of clothes you'll never wear.

[Pulg]

Your Gnorc is currently full of spinach and kazoos.

[Sliska Zafir]

Pulg commands a score of obedient fleas.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Sliska Zafir is what hatches out of a properly-incubated Silly Putty egg.

[Snow White's Mother]

IHIYC sat on the egg for 6 months.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Snow White's Mother once sat on an egg-shaped rock for 7 months before realizing she was pranked.

[Pulg]

KahnyaGnorc sat on Snow White's Mother's shoulder for eight months before she realised he was not, in fact, a parrot.

[Sliska Zafir]

Pulg never once sat on an egg...but I can't say the same for a cactus.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Sliska Zafir was once a cactus. It was during his(?) "Zorganborgenfjord" (or "Time of Finding Oneself in Gelatin" in his(?) native tongue)

[Sliska Zafir]

KahnyaGnorc did unspeakable things during his Zorganborgenfjord, things that are illegal in 4 states.

[Old Doc Flumph]

Sliska face didn't always look so fearful; that only happened after his first session at the GoatToucher Massage Parlor.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Old Doc Flumph has a PhD in GoatToucher Studies, with a Masters in Insanology, specializing in PGTSD (Post GoatTocuher Stress Disorder)

[JTDV]

KahnyaGnorc once stormed a city with nothing but pepper spray. It's amazing how many people will get out of your way when you repeatedly spray yourself in the face and scream, "This is mine!"

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

JTDV still uses a Rolodex, if you can believe it!

[KahnyaGnorc]

IHIYC prides himself on using only Stonepunk technology. He heard "Bedrock Anthem," and it became his life's calling...