{quickly skims character sheets of everyone in thread, notes lisamarlene's and Freehold's inventory; much secretive dice rolling behind screen}
Freehold's jade amulet of protection from Alton Brown grants a +4 to his Fort save. Similarly, lisamarlene's fresh cookies rations grants a +2 to her save. Everyone else in the thread takes 1 point of Taint from the corrupting effects of mathematics in the Shadowlands OffTopiclands. Celestial Hippeh Lawyer, due to your current low hit points and very low caffeine points, this proved fatal; you are now "pining for the fjords."
Wait- that can't- Noooooooo... {fades from existence }
Now I'm just a simple outsider from a backwoods outer plane, but it is a fact that every pie {pauses dramatically}... is a 3D pie chart. A pie chart, likely a delicious one, indicating the amounts of the pie eaten and yet to be eaten.
{turns to imaginary jury} Therefore, by his own admission, MageHunter hates all pie.
If very young children injure another child, the responsibility lies with the supervising adults, not the children allowed to commit the act.
If very young children fatally injure another child, the responsibility lies with the supervising adults, not the children allowed to commit the act.
If very young children eat the corpse of another child, the responsibility lies with the supervising adults, not the children allowed to commit the act.
Vegetables can still post on Paizo.com. That is okay. But if a vegetable starts saying that they are the only foods that should be eaten, then it would not be allowed.
I'd think there is enough pre-TSR/WotC folktales, legends, and myths to act as a basis for new races of frog-folk ("heqetians"?) and "fiend-touched" humanoids. But they can't be called grippli (or bullywugs, sivs, boggards, etc.) or tieflings, and they'd probably need distinctive concepts/hooks to clearly differentiate them from any existing WotC-owned OGL humanoids.
I wouldn't rule them out down the road in an expansion, DLC, or sequel, but Owlcat probably has more than enough on their plate trying to shoehorn in all the other flavor & crunch stuff into this current game.
What about life insurance...or being dead insurance...or is it undead insurance in case you die(ie: raise undead...urh raise you)...maybe it's kind of all three? ;)
I think it works with the deals mentioned in the posts above.
"look everyone Captain Yesterday thinks that blue three eyed alien is Nobodyshome, let's laugh at him!"
It's like eighth grade all over again, 2014 was the worst!
If people laugh at you because NobodysHome and I both buy our bespoke humansuits from the same tailor, then don't take it personally. They've just rolled a 26-50 on the percentile dice against a confusion spell.
Are you trolling if you feed the trolls to see them counter-troll?
I recommend throwing an alignment question or three at him
Distract him with the "What Is Batman's Alignment?" as your opening gambit while you hastily assemble an acrostic retort that spells his name backwards, thus banishing him back to his own dimension.
It is unfortunately that Safety Bear cannot dance when he wants to, nor can he leave his friends behind. Because his friends don't dance, and if they do not dance, then they cannot be friends of mine.
The prosecution rests.
Wait, you're the prosecution and the judge?! Nine Hells, I guess I made a major boo-boo not getting Safety Bear to take the plea deal... being sentenced to Rura Penthe to mine unicorns is pretty harsh for stealing pic-a-nic baskets.
..............Ugh I have spent $1000 in the last month on gaming stuff........ I have a problem.
Indeed. You should quit cold turkey. Please ship all of your game materials to Monkey, Dragon, and Slaad, Avocados at Law, and we will hold them safely for you while you undergo treatment for your addiction.
5. "Who the freak is this guy? OH-WAIT, he's good, guys, he's good. He waved his PC card. Give him all our dead teammate's stuff."
5b. "Wow, how many near-identical brothers did Bobroy Jenkins, the Deceased PC, have? And what are the odds they'd all be just as experienced in the same class(es) as Bobroy?"
If you took a dump, though, and some special genetic corn kernels were in there, though,.....they could sue your arse.
He might be on to something.
I had never considered that angle. They are suing for IP and patent infringement. Your digestive track does some serious altering/"remixing" of their product. Would they legally be able to legally lay a claim on your waste?
In communities where human waste is recycled (link 1, link 2: NotSafeAtMealtime links), could they lay claim to recycling plants output or revenues if they could prove a certain percentage of residents consume their GM product(s)?
What about the urea refills on your shiny new diesel automobile? The urea comes from cattle who may be fed GM corn/grains; could the GM IP/patent holder now require a percentage of the profits from the auto manufacturer (passed down to the consumers)?
{presents subpoena} zylphryx is banned because this is not a Right-to-Ban state. To ban Gruumash, you have to schedule a meeting with him, his supervisor, and the Union Shop Steward -- Mr. Den A. Thor.
Also, please fill out this paperwork. {plops down ream of forms inscribed with Symbol of Legalese}
zyphryx is banned for failing to examine Charles Scholz's character sheet. He is a multiclassed lawyer / politician, prepping to enter the Lobbyist PrC.
Um any kind of lawyer can go defend you at traffic court...it is not like it is complex...and all they show is ifv the presuctor is not willing to deal...they will take it to court...which they don't really want to do over a traffic ticket.
Ah, you've never seen His Unfrozen Ponyness in court! He's so Epic Win, he can simultaneously defend his client, act as a key witness for the prosecution, and fill-in for the bailiff and court stenographer... all with no conflict of interest! Plus, he still gets triple overtime billing x 4!
During recess, he entertains the kids with free skittles and inflated condom balloon animals.
Plus, he even got me this freesuitcasefullofthisamazingwhitepowderHOOHAH! <SNORT> {passes out}
You have no rights, Aberzombie. I cite Zombie v. Denier, 3011. In the trial a Zombie, who shall remaine nameless, died and then was made into an undead creature a week later. However, during that time his castle was taken from him by Lord Denier. He sued, and the trial was heard by the Highest Court. The 13 Justices ruled that since the Zombie was dead, and had no heir, he lost whatever rights he had when he was alive. The fact that he was a walking corpse with memories of his former life was immaterial to the case.
The Zombie was then immeaditely destroyed by a paladin. You see, Aberzombie, you have no legal legs to stand on. You are dead. Just because you can talk, stumble around and eat people's brains doesn't make you a person. Sorry (not really) but you work for me now. Go and lead my undead legions to victory!!!
Hmmm, Hate Speech and Hate Crimes against the heartbeat-challenged. {scribbles notes, sees actual dollar signs in front of his eyes}
Also, you appear to have cited Faerunian case law. Unfortunately, all those records (and Deneir) were destroyed in the $ellPlague, so your precedents are moot.
I would provide them with the 21.84 seconds of legal advice that they purchased. This largely consists of me sighing deeply, and saying "Well, it depends..."
~SCREAMS in horror~ $500 an hour? You are SOOOO not worth it!
~grins~
You do know that every time you make Unfrozen Pony Lawyer reply to you, he adds it to your bill? By now, you already owe him all your miniatures and most of your RPG books.
And don't complain. It's your own fault for not reading the fine print. Plus complaining gets another reply, aka more of your loot.
How embarassing. I feel like we all have been in that situation where we act differently around two different groups of friends, and then there is that awkward moment where the two groups of friends meet.
Ol'Retribution will be better appreciated on the Untitled thread...
It's OK. How awkward do you think it was for me to deliver an anti-hippeh weapon, being 3/8's hippeh on my mother's side?
I was told it was supposed to be Lesson in Humility for me, or some such thing, but really... I'm above such things! Besides, I think the weapon delivery was part of the pot when A Higher Power That Be went "all in" in that Celestial Poker Match and lost to Loki. I mean, who else is going to get 5-of-a-kind?
Here Celestial Healer, none of the good-hearted country folk will accept this from me... {takes blue-steeled shotgun with ivory inlays and petrified redwood stock and... drives it barrel-first through a keg of PBR}
There! You can be the guardian of Ol' Retribution (a +3 Hippeh-Disrupting Shotgun with Ever-reloading Cold Iron Shot)!
Let he who is worthy, draw the shotgun from the keg!yada-yada-yada
{hangs Pine Air-Freshener (to counteract the stench of patchouli) from the shotgun butt}
{Teleports in} I can't believe I'm being used to make delivery runs now...
Master Aberzombie, for your tireless efforts toward keeping the 'hippeh' population under control, I have been ordered to present you with this: {hands over blue-steeled shotgun with ivory inlays and petrified redwood stock} Ol' Retribution -- a +3 Hippeh-Disrupting Shotgun with Ever-reloading Cold Iron Shot...
...and this: {hangs small pine tree around his neck} a Pine Air-Freshener to counteract the stench of patchouli.
Must go, I have to deliver some stupid other thing to some "worthy" recipient. Greater Powers have such odd ideas about... {Teleports out}
Which is just the way I like it. That way I don't have to share.
Of course, there is something to be said for having folks around to share with. When you still don't share with them, you might get the opportunity to see them cry.
*He seems harmless to others, perhaps it best to humor him* As a far superior being -- advanced well beyond my feeble understanding -- I am puzzled why you would even concern yourself with the primitive, two-dimensional, pale simulations that mere mortals would consider emotions?
Or why even waste the merest inkling of your infinite wisdom pondering this S*b*st**n fellow. He's probably only a figment of your limitless imagination, conjured up by a bit of indigestion from that last solar system you consumed. Once your digestion has finished, he will disappear into a whisp of nothingness and trouble you no more.
Well, in a court of law, I'm pretty sure this one individual wouldn't pass a competancy hearing. Also, his testimony would be easily refuted by an expert psychological witness as "delusional" (to be nice) or "psychopathically insane" (to be not nice).
So if this single individual is not in his right mind, he clearly cannot consent to being a Cultist... and so S*b*st**n is reduced once again to a Cult of Zero. 8)
You know, I only see two accounts in the cult: David and Slaad. Losers.
Kobold, if you entered a Shrine to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you do not automatically become Pastafarian. Entering this Cult demiplane {looks around at scant membership} does not automatically make you a Cultist of S*b*st**n.
I am here because I was on retainer to the Jacks and he received a court document. You are apparently here to mock the Cultists. Neither of us are cultists. {sighs, Teleports out}
I'll deal with this. Hands CJ a restraining order banning him from the thread
{pops in, snatches restraining order} Hmmmm... {speed-reads through it} Nope, it's perfectly legit and binding. {hands it to Callous Jack} Sorry sir, you have to vamoose and come no closer than 5 demiplanes of this one.
{hands Sebastian's Law Ninja a business card} That was a nice bit of work. I especially liked the "castration" clause, very nice. Have your assistant call mine... if I come across a contact law case, I'll try to send them your way. {flashes sharklike grin, teleports out}
{Gate's in, brushes off jacket} Ah, meeting adjourned 45 minutes for lunch. Hello again, CB. Barkeep, might I get a double martini? Thanks, my good Jack.
Don't get your scales ruffled, Mr. Fish. CB had some sort of childhood trauma, something about being trapped in a 60's flower-power legal commune. He can't help shooting hippeys or lawyers, especially if they pop in unannounced and catch him by surprise.
And no, lawyers aren't automatically evil. Just nearly all of the better ones.
Now CB, put the gun down, please? A second time in one day is bordering on rude, and the drycleaners charge extra to get smokepowder out of my suits.
Devlyn puts a mug of coffee directly in the lawyer's field of view.
"Some coffee? It might help you stay on target this morning," he says with a smile.
{re-assesses his clients' level of mental disipline} Um, thank you, good man, but I should be going. I'm late for a nymp-, er, a meeting! Yes, a meeting, must not be late for the long, dull, boring, soul-tiring meeting! That Jack has my celestial messenger pigeon if you need to page me.
*But first, a detour to the arctic, so I can sit naked in a snowbank for about a half-hour* {Gates out}
Eyes lawyer suspiciously. Since when do Jacks permission to expand? Maybe it's really a summons...but the PlayJack Mansion has a nice ring to it.
{sighs} You Jacks drink too much. One of you- {waves hand at slumbering collection Jacks} put me on retainer. Besides, unlike some Celestial beings, I'm extra-Lawful, I'm not allowed to be sneaky.
Alaina, the Fire Flower wrote:
That's it! owww
Grabs thong and slips it on over her tanned hiney, then turns around and looks over her shoulder at Salty
M Male Nagaji Paladin 2| HP: 22/22 | AC: 19/ 12 Tch/ 17 FF | Current CMB: +6, CMD: 18 | F: +8, R: +5, W: +6, +2 v poison & mind-effecting effects, +1 v spells & effects from Outsider (evil) | Init: +2 | Perc: +6, SM: +3 Speed 30ft | | Active Conditions: Re-roll available, Aura of Good
Int roll:1d20 - 3 ⇒ (1) - 3 = -2 Wis doll:1d20 - 1 ⇒ (12) - 1 = 11
"Okeydokey. Let's all go to sleep in the manor house which was the last place anyone seemed to have seen the last tax collector alive. Who's comin'?" Yagaji tunelessly whistles a jaunty tune as he blissfully heads back to get a good night's sleep.
M Male Nagaji Paladin 2| HP: 22/22 | AC: 19/ 12 Tch/ 17 FF | Current CMB: +6, CMD: 18 | F: +8, R: +5, W: +6, +2 v poison & mind-effecting effects, +1 v spells & effects from Outsider (evil) | Init: +2 | Perc: +6, SM: +3 Speed 30ft | | Active Conditions: Re-roll available, Aura of Good
"It surely was an interesting choice to send a comedian along with our party, was it not? That Golthwur is the funniest man I've ever met."
Yagaji goes looking for the liquor cabinet.
M Male Nagaji Paladin 2| HP: 22/22 | AC: 19/ 12 Tch/ 17 FF | Current CMB: +6, CMD: 18 | F: +8, R: +5, W: +6, +2 v poison & mind-effecting effects, +1 v spells & effects from Outsider (evil) | Init: +2 | Perc: +6, SM: +3 Speed 30ft | | Active Conditions: Re-roll available, Aura of Good
"Hi there. I am Yagajimoro Iodoma, servant of Iomedae. You may call me Yagaji." He offers a friendly bow, furrows his brow for a moment, then smiles beatifically. He picks up the old man and his belongings and starts to follow the others on the way to finding the mayor. Of course, he now is also carrying a medium load, and struggles to keep up, but he whistles a jaunty tune while carrying this burden of a wizard.
Int check:1d20 - 3 ⇒ (7) - 3 = 4 Sense Motive:1d20 + 3 ⇒ (10) + 3 = 13
M Male Nagaji Paladin 2| HP: 22/22 | AC: 19/ 12 Tch/ 17 FF | Current CMB: +6, CMD: 18 | F: +8, R: +5, W: +6, +2 v poison & mind-effecting effects, +1 v spells & effects from Outsider (evil) | Init: +2 | Perc: +6, SM: +3 Speed 30ft | | Active Conditions: Re-roll available, Aura of Good
Yagaji is curious as to just how simple the board game might be (he enjoys tic-tac-toe, though he usually loses...sometimes he gets lucky and there's a draw). He walks up to the two elderly players and bows respectfully.
"Hello. I am Yagajimoro Iodoma, servant of Iomedae. You may call me Yagaji. May I watch?" He smiles his most winning smile.
M Male Nagaji Paladin 2| HP: 22/22 | AC: 19/ 12 Tch/ 17 FF | Current CMB: +6, CMD: 18 | F: +8, R: +5, W: +6, +2 v poison & mind-effecting effects, +1 v spells & effects from Outsider (evil) | Init: +2 | Perc: +6, SM: +3 Speed 30ft | | Active Conditions: Re-roll available, Aura of Good
Angela Isafira wrote:
Golthwur Strath wrote:
"Especially, I would think, this one." Golthwur adds, pointing at Yagaji. "Whatever, his name is. Did he even bother to mention it?"
With a look of shock on her face, Angela turns to Yagaji and makes sure she has his attention before she says. "Yagaji, this is not good! Our wizard friend can't remember your name! I think you have to introduce yourself to him again. And every 15 minutes. Just in case."
At the halfling's words, Yagaji's smile lights up the room. Usually when people start talking a lot he just thinks about his sword drills until everyone gets up to go somewhere. But he's delighted to have something to contribute to the conversation.
He stands up and parade walks over to Gwolthur, then offers a formal bow in the military style. "Hello. I am Yagajimoro Iodoma, servant of Iomedae. You may call me Yagaji."
He turns and nods eagerly at the halfling, looking for approval.
M Male Nagaji Paladin 2| HP: 22/22 | AC: 19/ 12 Tch/ 17 FF | Current CMB: +6, CMD: 18 | F: +8, R: +5, W: +6, +2 v poison & mind-effecting effects, +1 v spells & effects from Outsider (evil) | Init: +2 | Perc: +6, SM: +3 Speed 30ft | | Active Conditions: Re-roll available, Aura of Good
Yagaji pauses for a moment, trying to absorb all that Angela has said. Then he smiles and bows to her, saying "Hello. I am Yagajimoro Iodoma, servant of Iomedae. You may call me Yagaji."
Yagaji walks up to Byron and bows. "Hello. I am Yagajimoro Iodoma, servant of Iomedae. You may call me Yagaji."
The large nagaji then turns to Gronkh and bows. "Hello. I am Yagajimoro Iodoma, servant of Iomedae. You may call me Yagaji."
Satisfied that he managed to remember to introduce himself to each person in the room, Yagaji smiles to himself and sits.
A self-assured ratfolk in a noble's outfit strides into the room with aplomb. While his attire and accoutrements are impeccable, what fur that is visible appears to be very mangy, with bare patches of mottled skin here and there. He carries a pair of rapiers, a haversack and a couple of bandoliers with various bottles, flasks and wands dangling from them. He twirls his whiskers before sweeping off his overlarge hat with an axebeak feather and offering a courtly bow.
"What a fine day to meet fellow pathfinders seeking adventure, on the path to righting wrongs and thwarting evil-doers of all sorts. I am Nicodemus, escapee from NIMH, and I am ever-humbly at your service. Hopefully your talents are as sharp as my blades and my wits." With an almost invisible flick of his wrist, a gold piece appears in his hand. He tosses it to the Innkeeper. "My good 'keep, a bottle of your finest wine for me and my friends. And please do make certain the glasses are clean, if you'd be so kind."
Before seating himself at the table, he nods to the leopard and, with a twinkle in his eye, asks the aasimar, "She is house-trained, I presume? And not overly fond of eating rats?" With a chuckle he sits down and finally seems to take in the group he is with. "What a fine motley crew we make. This seems a wonderful start, wouldn't you say, my good gnome? Always nice to have a few longshanks on hand to stand out when under fire..."
With all the foofaraw of Nicodemus' entrance, you hardly notice the large Ulfen man who slipped in after the ratfolk. The surly brute takes station at Nicodemus' back, glowering at anyone who looks harshly at the investigator.
Nicodemus notices the glances the party steals at the Ulfen. "That's just Patsy. Pay him no mind. He's just my bodyguard. One can't be too careful these days."
Swashtigator: rapiers, parry&riposte, self-buffs, and skills, including social skills--other than disguise. Patsy is just a bodyguard Follower who potentially helps v critical hits and/or sneak damage. Non-statted NPC
Akyr’s mother was a favored concubine of Einmarch Henderthane, her exotic orcish ancestry only heightening her almost otherworldly beauty. So Akyr enjoyed the pampered life of a favored bastard child during his early years, receiving a well-rounded education while being a member of the Henderthane household. When the time came for Akyr to leave the nest, he earned a scholarship to attend the Kitharodian Academy In Oppara (or so he believes: his mother made a very generous anonymous donation to actually secure his position). While he was a competent actor, his real passion was music and dance. Unfortunately, he was never seen as a viable recruit for the Lion Blades--whether it was his half-orc or Chelish ancestry--but he graduated with honors, which brought him to the attention of Lady Gloriana Morilla, who had recently taken charge of the Sovereign Court faction and saw Akyr as a potential recruit who would be loyal to her.
Not long after he graduated, the devil Orxines wrought his vengeance upon Einmarch, but thankfully, his mother escaped unharmed, with her own nest egg to set her up in a comfortable home.
But Akyr wanted better for her, so he committed himself to getting her set up in the comfort and style she deserved. He quickly found opportunity among the dungeons beneath the Emerald Spire, using his fame and fortune to amass a sizable estate. During one of his final excursions beneath the Spire, Akyr fiddled with an ancient artifact, and emerged as a female half-orc. While a bit surprising, he quickly learned to embrace the change.
Now a Baron Baroness in the River Kingdoms, with his mother set up as “the Duchess,” Akyr continues to adventure to amass wealth and prestige to maintain his lavish holdings.
Later seasons are meant for 6 players, and indeed, with high tier it's a good idea going in fully loaded. Combats tend to be kill or be killed in rapid order, so I'm all for having another victim player.
That being said, if it's okay with the GM, instead of Crazy Hairy the mad bomber, I'm going to bring my Bard Akyr Silvertusk. His buffs should prove useful to many a party member. And even though he's level 14, we're still same tier:
12+13+13+14+13+14=79
79/6 = 13.16666...
Name Uktar
Character Name Akyr Silvertusk
PFS Number and Character Number 100685-7
Initiative Bonus +18 (+4 heightened awareness)
Perception Bonus +22
Normal or Slow Track normal
Classes and Levels CN Half-Orc Bard 13/ Oracle of Lore 1
Faction Sovereign Court
Name Jim, aka Uktar
Character Name: Crazy Hairy
PFS Number and Character Number 100685-2
Initiative Bonus +6 base (heightened awareness, mutagen, reduce person all could be a factor...)
Perception Bonus +24
Normal or Slow Track Normal
Classes and Levels Grenadier (Alchemist) 10/ Master Chymist 2
Faction: The Exchange (boon to still keep Sczarni benefits)
(I could switch to Bard 12/Oracle of Lore 1 if party more in need of buffs, knowledges and face character...)
Description: Crazy Hairy is one of the smallest, puniest Gnomes you’ve ever seen. He has orange skin, and hair that looks a lot like a "troll-doll" that spikes to a point on top. It's deep red at the roots, ranging up into orange, with vibrant yellow at the tips (i.e. kind of looks like a candle flame). He carries a longbow, a wide assortment of bottles and vials (steel and iron for his consumables, glass for the weapons) on crossed bandoliers, attached to his belt and his backpack. He wears a very nice looking cestus over one arm, carries a buckler, and sports a shiny mithral breastplate amid his collection of vials and bags.
He’s very twitchy, and he seems fond of scratching and muttering curses at the large, hairy growth at the base of the back of his neck. Except as you keep watching, you notice he’s not really scratching it, more like petting it. And once you get close enough to hear, the muttered curses actually sound more like whispered sweet nothings.
Then he holds out his hand to the nasty looking tumor, and it crawls onto his hand, taking on the shape of a Hedgehog.
Biography of your character: (I'd apologize for the length, but you asked:)
Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm (pronounced: ZTAH-yah-TAR-klan-BOH-lad-KRism--the last “zk” is silent) comes from a small tribe of Lava Gnomes that lived in the depths of Island of Hermea. When Menkgare discovered the tribe, he drove them out, but kept the most talented illusionists as part of his breeding program, and Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm is a descendant of that bloodline. Unfortunately for Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm, he was born with too much Lava Gnome in his veins, so he was exiled from the Island of Hermea since the age of 16 (very young for a gnome).
After struggling to survive, Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm found his way to Gogpodda. Unfortunately, Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm soon wore out his welcome; for some reason, residents of a small floating island made up on flotsam and jetsam didn't appreciate someone with a proclivity to start fires. Go figure.
After a number of years wandering from nation to nation, town to town, usually a mere half step ahead of the local arson investigators, Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm was taken in by a member of the Alchemist Guild of Katapesh, who recognized and channeled Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm's innate abilities with fire. After completing his training, Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm resumed his wandering ways, looking for bigger and better things to blow up. Along the way, he formed a bond with Franks, the Hedgehog who became his hairy tumorous familiar.
Then one day, he stumbled upon a group of gnomes who seemed to relish kicking the crap out of each other...and anyone who got in their way. They called themselves the G-Nomes, ‘cause there ain’t nothin’ silent about a G-Nome. He had finally found a real home...
Explosions and hilarity have been his life ever since.
At first, his G-Nome homeboys just called him "Zee", but after a heist ended with Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm blowing up most of a city block, the G-Nomes now call him Crazy. And since Crazy's only real friend was his hedgehog, where he was almost constantly muttering to the prickly hedgehog in his hand, they started to refer to his tumor familiar as Hairy. They were considered an inseparable team: Crazy & Hairy
After the G-nomes went to work for the Sczarni faction, some of the Sczarni henchmen overheard the G-nomes referring to the dynamic duo of “Crazy & Hairy” and mistook it as a single name for just the gnome, hence the outside world calls him Crazy Hairy.
But the G-nomes know: he’s just Crazy. . .
RE-PREE-ZENT!!! G-Nome in da HOUSE!!!
[The G-Nomes are sort of a street gang of gnomes whose culturally speaking are a cross between hip-hop (West Coast) and Fight Club. (See Larry Correia's Monster Hunter series--used with permission)]
Lila offers Candi a knowing wink before taking a "five-foot step" to the south, dropping 5' of height to cover a total of 10'.
She then reaches into her haversack and pulls out her scroll of Dimensional Anchor, bellowing, "I vow to do all in my power to destroy you, Koth'Vaul. Your reign of terror--however brief--is at an end."
Lila then expends some of her Mythic Power to use Spell Surge to cast Moment of Greatness on the entire party.
Then Lila casts Dimensional Anchor from her scroll. As Koth'Vaul is enveloped in the emerald field, Lila smirks.
"Destroy him, my minions--my friends!"
to hit KV Touch AC:1d20 + 4 + 4 ⇒ (8) + 4 + 4 = 16 SR check=CL+Vow+Moment of Greatness:1d20 + 13 + 4 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 13 + 4 + 4 = 33
Everyone: One time in the next minute, you can choose to double a morale bonus currently in effect (inspire courage gives +4 morale on saves v charm and fear...don't know if you have any other morale bonuses of your own). Lila just used hers to double her morale bonus from her Vow from her Curse to boost her SR check.
Moment of Greatness
Remember Anyone other than Candi who's within 30' of Lila can still be Misfortuned to re-roll a d20. It's an immediate action for Lila, so first-come, first-served, just use it if you want it...
He knows of no traps...Is he good at his job? Is he having an off day? Is there no trap? Only one way to find out...
I'm going to let you all place yourselves however you want to be situated by the door before we move on. I put a colored square for the door to make it more obvious on the map
As Lila begins to chew the writhing hunk of evil that is one of Deskari's hearts, she turns deathly pale and is drenched in sweat, her eyes no longer focused on her immediate surroundings. Her eyes are darting about at unseen visions of madness, and her entire body begins to tremble. With sheer force of will, she shakes her head and regains her focus on the here and now. She refuses to spit the vile filth back out, and in fact, continues to chew it much longer than necessary, forcing herself to take its full measure before swallowing.
She turns to her fellow pathfinders one final time. "Connor, if you can, be sure to let me finish off Koth'Vaul first. Gentlemen, it has been an honor." With a nod, Lila returns to her grisly meal, making certain to finish every last morsel. With each bite, her confidence grows, and more color is restored to her flesh...until its too much color, too much confidence. With a surprisingly deep laugh, she says, "Come, foolish mortals. Let us deal with this trifling...
KOTH'VAUL! I am coming for YOU!"
In for a penny, in for a pound. Lila seals her deal with the demon god.
Mera is a total Superhero Mashup, combining Captain America (shield champion brawler archetype) and Bucky Barnes ( constructed pugilist brawler archetype). The two archetypes are compatible, but she misses out on a lot of really good brawler stuff (especially Martial Flexibility), and it's going to be a while before she can start doing crazy shield shenanigans. But it should be fun and kinda wild.
And boy did I struggle trying to find a mini for her...until I found the HeroClix for Misty Knight, which makes Mera a Marvel Trifecta (though I'll have to paint that arm black once Mera can afford an adamantine arm--at which point I guess can add Wolverine to the mashup list)
On himself, Charlie will cast Air Walk, Freedom of Movement, Shield of Faith, Moment of Greatness, Tap Inner Beauty and Longstrider from wand.
He'll cast Air Walk on Thunderhoof
On the party, he'll cast resist energy, communal (Fire):
Everyone gets Resist Fire (30)
And then he'll cast Protection from Evil on himself and Bless (from Wands) just before the start of combat
+1 Morale to Hit and Saves v Fear.
(if we have a way of knowing it's about that time. Otherwise, just the longer term buffs, i.e. not these last 2)
The red skeleton cares not one whit about the fate of its fellow champions. On the other hand, it isn't just a mindless zombie--having witnessed the devastating effects of the halfling moving into its compatriots space, it attacks Craggark instead. Despite its misfortune, it just manages to strike true, damaging the brawler.
Emboldened by his success against the other skeletal champion, Jamir lands a critical blow, knocking its vertebrae out of alignment--if it survives this battle, its chiropractor bills will be enormous...
Jamir and Katswiri team up to finish off the green skeleton, while MythDeadEyeryndyr fires an arrow into the eyesocket of the blue skeleton, and the blunt arrow blasts out the back of its skull. Only the red skeletal champion remains.
Myth I'm not seeing a +2 for Inspiring sword (which should apply). You still managed to confirm crit
. Initiative order
Bold may act
. Jamir -14hp
Robyyn
Craggark
. Red -4hp
. Aroden
. Myth
. Katswiri
Urktar carefully prods the floor with Bert as he moves forward, making sure to use the blade to peek under throw rugs and such. He's almost to the other side of room when he turns back to the party. "I think it's all clear."
He smiles a big tusky grin as he walks back to the party, not paying attention to where he steps and inadvertently stepping onto an unprodded part of the floor.
After the explosion, Urktar expels the smoke in his lungs through his nostrils, looks at his sword, then the party, then back at his sword. "Good job, Bert. Found another one. *cough, cough* Yep, definitely all clear."
He strolls casually out of the room before sidling up to the bard and whispering, "Still got that wand I gave you?"
After Thran administers to his wounds, he's left with one singed eyebrow.
"That'll do...thanks."
At Shukara's suggestion, the party uses the much faster and more nimble movement of hippocampi mounts to circumnavigate the creatures, soon leaving them far behind. It takes you a few extra minutes to reach The Lioness, but spare yourselves precious combat resources, as well as the dangers of facing the poisonous tentacles of the dangerous Death's Head Jellyfish.
Hippocampus swims 3x faster than the jellyfish, and you made the perception. You quickly outdistance them and they lose sight of you...
Morka: Absalom's Wave Riders is a light calvary military unit who ride Hippocampi mounts. They are charged with protecting the City at the Center of the World from watery threats. You reported to Captain Sevana Kinhan, the leader of the Wave Riders. She gave you the mounts and the potions.
Shukara slashes deeply across the agents torso, then with the return strike removes his head. As it bounces across the courtyard, the silence lifts and you hear cheering from the Muckrackers as they tear down the black flag and raise the flag of the First Guard over Fort Tempest. They scream their defiance at the invaders.
Success reported. I believe all missions are now complete. The only one that may be available is the Scarab Sages mission, which you've already done. But success results page shows everything complete, even though we haven't gotten the final announcement. Well done, team (as well as other tables...) I suspect we'll kick off the next part either later today or first thing Monday.
"Well, my mysterious friend," Almara says. "These brave folk are about to undertake a bold quest in search of the truth, no matter what hardship or obstacle is in their way. Isn't that right, Sir Ankird the Bold and Aurk the Adventurous? Perhaps you could aid them in this quest?"
Those are not "rats." Their proper name is Ysoki Frustratacus. Granted, they are a disease-bearing race, known to cause excessive swearing and high-blood pressure, but still, they are no mere rats...
Paizo tech support is working on getting it stabilized, but we should expect glitches and problems for another day or so...
This is not a new problem: when PbP Gameday happens, there are stability issues. I appreciate your patience, and it should get better. (I my experience, usually there are a couple of windows where instability rears its ugly head during each PbP GD. They can last a day or so, maybe up to 3 if it's bad)
But losing posts can even happen when the site is stable (you can get timed-out/back-track errors that eat your posts, especially if it's a long post, or you get interrupted while writing and time passes before you finish and try to post).
My personal recommendation is developing the following habit:
Before you hit "Submit Post" quickly "Select-All" and then "Copy" as soon as you have your post drafted. (it's a quick "Ctrl-A" then "Ctrl C" in Windows--make certain the cursor is in the text box, of course). Then if it glitches, you'll still have the text. And if it's during an instable period, you may want to just paste it into a word doc and come back later (again, especially if it's a long post).
Kn Nobility:1d20 + 11 ⇒ (12) + 11 = 23
Daru expounds at length about everything she knows regarding the current situation.
. Galt has been in a state of constant violent social and political turmoil for over half a century, changing leaders and regimes in an ongoing chaos called the Red Revolution.
. The Gray Gardeners are the justices and executioners for the Galtan People’s Council, responsible for uncovering traitors, noble sympathizers, political enemies, and anyone insufficiently supportive of the latest revolutionary regime.
. Though Isarn is the seat of Galt’s governing body and therefore the nation’s capital, the Gray Gardeners as an organization are based out of the city of Litran some 100 miles upriver (or about 60 miles by land).
. The most famous Gray Gardener in Isarn is a woman known as Citizen Dread, who has an uncanny ability to work a crowd into a bloodthirsty fervor.
. Though most Gray Gardeners remain masked in public and use pseudonyms to hide their identity, a few recent rumors have mentioned a Gray Gardener without a mask: a blond man with a diamond earring and a deep scar on his chin.
Augustyn Naran and Victoria Garvensi are Andoren senators who have held office for far longer than term limits would normally allow.
. Senator Naran is an older Andoran politician who helped throw his nation’s support behind Lady Gloriana Morilla’s Army of Exploration during the Society’s fight against the demons of the Worldwound.
. Several years ago, Pathfinder agents acting at the direction of Major Colson Maldris arrested Halmont Warrith, but Warrith was released from prison shortly thereafter when a key witness in his trial suspiciously retracted his testimony.
Everyone: Be sure to check in the week before the August 13 start. And get your profile updated with all character info by August 12th.
Waitlisters: if you sign up for a different game and no longer have eligible PC (and wouldn't want to start a new one), please come back and withdraw from this game.
M Re-roll used. | Swashbuckler 5/Rogue 3/Bloodrager 1 | HP: 68+5/78+5 | Current AC: 27+2/ 18+2 Tch/ 20+2 FF | Current CMB: +9, CMD: 27(+5 v grapple) | F: +9(+5 v Poison/Disease), R: +16+2, W: +8 | Init: +9 | Perc: +19, SM: +4 | Speed 40+10ft | Charmed Life 3/3 | Rage: 8/12 | Panache 3/3 |
Active Conditions:
Evasion, Halo (Light), Vermin Repel, AlchGrease, Antiplague, Antitoxin, Lonstrider, Controlled bloodrage, Long Arm & Blue Scarf reach 6rds
While Chak puts a few scrolls to use, Lathlo attempts to put a few of his more recalcitrant wands to use:
UMD Heightened Awareness:1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26 UMD Longstrider:1d20 + 10 ⇒ (6) + 10 = 16 UMD Longstrider:1d20 + 10 ⇒ (13) + 10 = 23
Then Lathlo gratefully accepts Petrok's aid in searching the library with a gracious bow. They begin with the northernmost lectern, then the other 2 lecterns. If that turns up nothing, then the rest of the room
Take ten+Aid = 31
Quote:
"On the Symphony Of Elysian Heart by Lila Andrea Salomé and Geography and Wildlife of the Mwangi Expanse by Rogar "Bronze" Bogslagsun.
Doffs his cap. Well played, Monsieur GM. Well played.
Just the square you actually target. And it doesn't necessarily rule them out, just that a attack was aimed at the square that could have potentially hit there. Miss chances, etc...
Lacking any real knowledge, Turathal goes for the ol' reliable and uncorks a Toppling Magic Missile as a full-round action.
Confirming as a full-round action, this will go off as Turathal begins round 2.
Full round=uses both standard & move action, but goes off at the end of that same turn (like a full attack). 1 round=goes off start of next turn.
from PRD: "If the spell's normal casting time is a standard action, casting a metamagic version is a full-round action for a sorcerer or bard. (This isn't the same as a 1-round casting time.)"
So Turathal using metamagic on spell goes off same round, but he can take no other standard or move actions in order to use metamagic. (that's why he wasn't further away from door...)
The skulk sputters a bit before replying, "As long as you promise not to kill me, I'll tell ya what I know. But don't blame Rogi for not knowing much! Rogi only pawn...in game of life." "But this is what Rogi knows: My tribe, the Nisku, does favors for a group of humans in exchange for Shiver--oh, sweet sweet Shiver." You see him shudder visibly. "Do you have any? Please, give me some. I could help you, act as your guide...for some Shiver."
After another glare from Brin, he continues."The Nisku no like the humans--and humans definitely no like the Nisku. They just use Nisku by giving us Shiver." Another shudder passes through his body when he says the word.
"Two stupid skulks, who used to be Nisku, joined human tribe. They are Kymeth and Onamae. They are the ones who give Nisku orders from humans, and deliver the blessed blessed Shiver." *shudder* "They tell us to come here, kill the guards. But only one guard here, who was so easy to ki--deal with. So we decide to reward ourselves with loot. Zahkar and Rogi go to Vault. Rogi stand guard by vault door, so when it automatically closed, Rogi jumped clear...only to fall into stupid pit."
Brin knows that Shiver is a highly addictive narcotic.
Amiri blinks several times, taking a moment or two to absorb the rapid fire squeaking words. Then Amiri lurches to her feet and holds her sword aloft and bellows, "Well said, Brave Dragon! Let us find the vile Marigana, drive her from her dark lair and save Sanos! Lead on, Riddywhipple the Bold!"
Then she asks Silgil in a quiet aside, "Who or what is Sanos again?"
"How will we find him? Is there a particular landmark near his home? And is there something we could bring as an offering or treat in order to curry his favor?" Amiri looks around the room at the astonished faces.
"What? I'm not just a pretty face with a big sword, you know. I've been through more adventures than all of you combined..."
Unfortunately, Amiri has her own problems with feeling the bearhug love.
"Stupid, smelly bear! Don't you know you're already dead?'
Finding herself grappled and unable to effectively use her bastard sword, Amiri drops it and pulls out her new cold iron morning star.
"Time to test out the new steel!" Raging Power Attack:1d20 + 7 + 2 - 2 - 2 ⇒ (10) + 7 + 2 - 2 - 2 = 15 P & B cold iron dmg:1d8 + 5 + 2 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 5 + 2 + 4 = 13
"Cheap garbage! If I live through this, I'm gonna let that merchant know I hate his horrible weapons!"
Cognatogen, Freedom of Mvmt, Barkskin, Absorb Toxicity, See Invisibility, Stoneskin CL15, Heroism CL5, Shield, Ill of Calm, Red Person 12min, EH avail, Re-roll avail
Conditions:
Uktar/Turathal here: My lvl 11 gnome grenadier has spent a ton of gp on his formula book. And since I have it with brief descriptions of each extract, making it a simple cut-and-paste, here it is as a public service to our alchemical-substance-abusin' PCs
Crazy Hairy's Formula Book:
Level 1 Formulas DC=18 7/day +1 Boro Bead
Ant Haul: 2 hours/lvl, triples carrying capacity
Adhesive Spittle: 1 round/lvl until used, spit Tanglefoot bag, no to hit required, spell DC=11+Int=19 Range 15’
Anticipate Peril: +caster lvl Insight bonus to Initiative, 1 min/lvl until next init check (max +5)
Bomber's Eye: Thrown Weapon Range increased by 10’, 1 round/lvl
Comprehend Languages: 10 min/lvl. All spoken and written
Crafter's Fortune: +5 luck on next Craft check, 1 day/lvl until used
Cure Light Wounds: 1d8+lvl (+5 max)
Detect Secret Doors: 60’ cone, Concentration (1 min/lvl), 1st Rd: Presence, 2nd: #&location, 3rd: 1 trigger
Detect Undead: 60’ cone, Concentration (1 min/lvl), 1st Rd: Presence, 2nd: #&Strongest, 3rd: Str & Location of all in line of sight (otherwise str & direction) Faint: 1HD, Mod: 2-4HD Str: 5-10HD 11+:Ovrwhelm
Disguise Self: 10 min/lvl, 1 ft taller/shorter (Halfling), +10 Disguise check, interact gets Will save
Endure Elements: 24 hours, -50 to 140 F no Fort save, no dam pro, nor hazards (lack of air, etc)
Enlarge Person: Doubles size, Str+2 Dex-2 -1 to hit and AC
Expeditious Retreat: +30’ movement, 1 min/lvl
Identify: +10 bonus to ID magic Items
Jump: 1 min/lvl, +10 enhance bonus on Acro to hi & long jump. +20/5th lvl, +30/9th lvl
Heightened Awareness: 10 min/level, +2 competence Perception & all trained knowledge, can dismiss it for +4 on initiative
Illusion of Calm: no AoO for Cast or Throw or Move DC if struck to disbelieve, 1 min/lvl
Invisibility Alarm: 25+5/2 lvl, 20’ radius, mental or audible ping, 10 min/lvl
Keen Senses: +2 competence bonus on Perception & Low-light vision 1 min/lvl
Long Arm: 1 min/lvl Personal, increase rach with arms by 5’
Longshot: +10’ bonus to Range increment on any weapon used by subject (personal) 1 min/lvl
Monkey Fish: 1 min/lvl Personal, 10’ climb, 10’ swim, no med or heavy armor or load
Negate Aroma: 1 creature/lvl, 1 hour/lvl, can’t track via Scent
Petulanegro’s Validation: Use small bit of person, hair, fingernail, no older than 1 week/lvl to ID even partial remains
Phantom Blood: For BARBARIAN OR BLOODRAGER: 10 min/lvl, if loss of rage makes unconscious, gain 10 temp HP
Reduce Person: 1 min/lvl +2 Dex, -2 Str, +1 AC * (Wand)
See Alignment: Personal, 1 round/lvl, select a single alignment to “see” as aura.
Shield: Personal, +4 Shield AC (v. Incorporeal too), negates Magic Missile, 1 min/lvl
Stone Fist: 1 min/lvl hands become living stone: 1d6 lethal bludgeoning, no AoO for unarmed strike, ignore hard less than 8
Targeted Bomb Admixture: No Splash, Intx2 on bomb dam 1 rd/lvl
Touch of the Sea: Swim 30’, +8 bonus on Swim Check, can always Take Ten 1 min/lvl
True Skill: Personal, 1 min/lvl, gain ½ lvl Insight bonus to 1 skill check (that you can attempt)
True Strike: +20 insight bonus on next attack roll, no Conceal miss chance
Vocal Alteration: 1 min/lvl, +10 bonus on Disguise to fool listener
Polypurpose Panacea: Resistance: You gain a +1 resistance bonus on saves for 1 minute. Clarity: +1 competence bonus on a single attack, save, or skill check within 1 minute. Choose b4 roll; Analgesic: No aches for 1 hour. +2 resistance bonus against pain-related spells.
Hallucination: 1 hour, -2 on Perception checks Intoxication: 1 hour Lucid Dream: w/in 1 hour of sleep, lucid dream that’s under your control for an hour
Sleep: enter restful sleep for 1 hour unless wakened. Sobriety: sober for 1 hour, still detect \as inebriated. Wakefulness: Awake 2 hours. +5 Resist a/g sleep-related spells.
Level 2 Formulas: DC=20 6/day +1 Boro Bead
Ablative Barrier: 1hour/lvl, +2 to AC, and gain DR 5/ lethal, converting 5 lethal to nonlethal/att until 50 points, then gone
Acute Senses: 1 min/lvl +10 Perception (+20 @ 8th lvl, +30 at 16th )
Adhesive Blood: 1 min/lvl, any Piercing or Slashing strike you, Reflex Save or stuck fast, standard action str check v DC to Free
Air Step: 1 min/lvl like air walk but only 1’ above
Alchemical Allocation: take AA, then drink potion/elixir. Then spit out as free action. One potion per AA.
Alter Self: Personal, 1 min/lvl, choose: Small: +2 Dex, Med: +2 Str & 1 of: low-light vision, Scent, Swim 30
Aram Zey’s Focus: (PFS Field Guidep56) Grants Trapfinding 1/2Character lvl+if trigger on Failed Disable, reroll to stop, 1min/lvl
Barkskin: +4 Enhancement to Natural Armor, stacks w/ Nat Armor, +3@6th lvl, +4@9th +5@12th
Bear’s Endurance: 1 min/lvl, +4 Con Enhancement
Bull’s Strength: 1 min/lvl, +4 Str Enhancement
Blistering Invective: 30’ Radius, Intimidate demoralize all enemies, if works 1d10 Fire, Ref or catch fire, SpellResist Fire only
Blood Armor: 1 min/lvl, each 5 Pierce or Slash, +1 enhancement to Armor (armor only) CHEESE, get +5 before battle & heal (Orchid)
Blood Transcription--Banned: Drink 1 pint of Spellcaster’s blood, learn 1 spell for 24 hours (must be on list…)
Cure Moderate: 2d8+lvl (+10 max)
Deathwine: Turn cure potion into Necromantic Spell boost
Delay Poison: 1 hour/lvl, Immune until expires
Extreme Flexibility: 1 min/lvl +1 Dodge to Ace, +4 circumstance Esc Artist, +4 circumstance grapple CMB & CMD
False Life: 1 hour/lvl, gain 1d10+lvl hp (Max +10)
Focused Scrutiny: 10 min/lvl, v one creature “perceived” +10 Perception, Sense Motive, Suvival, +5 Diplo & Intimidatest
Fox’s Cunning: 1 min/l vl, +4 Int
Investigative Mind: Personal, 10 min/lvl, roll twice for any Appraise, Kn, Linguistics or Spellcraft, up to lvl times
Invisibility: 1 min/lvl, +40 Stealth, +20 when moving
Lesser Restoration: heals 1d4 ability damage, eliminates fatigue, exhausted becomes fatigued
Levitation: 100lb/lvl, 1 min/lvl, 20’ up or down/round as Move action (along ceiling ½ speed) 1st Att -1, 2nd -2 (up to -5), resets if 1 round stabilize
Owl’s Wisdom: 1 min/lvl, +4 Wisdom enhancement
Protection from Arrows: DR 10/magic v Ranged Weapons, 1 hour/lvl or until absorbs 10pts/lvl
Resist Energy: 10 min/lvl DR 10 v Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire or Sonic, (20/7th lvl, 30/11th lvl)
See Invisibility: 10 min/lvl, see Invisible and Ethereal
Spider Climb: 10 min/lvl, 20’ Climb Speed, +8 on Climb checks (no Run)
Tattoo Potion: Make potion into permanent chest Spell Tattoo until used/replaced (Standard Action to Activate)
Touch Injection: 1 hour/lvl, elixir, infused extract, poision or potion. Can deliver as melee touch STRICKEN (Cure?)
Twisted Innards: 1 min/lvl, 50% chance no Sneak or Crit
Vomit Swarm: 1 round/lvl, Swarm adjacent. Spider Swarm: 20’ mvmt, (7th lvl Wasps, 13th Army Ants)
Waters of Maddening: 1 per 2 lvls, water into Unholy Water, Anoint/Drink (-4 save if drink) Fort save, Fail 1d6 Int & Dex dam, success 1d4 round sickened
Level 3 Formulas DC=21 5/day
Absorb Toxicity: Personal 10 min/lvl, immune to any disease or poison, can absorb (immune ends), secrete as touch attack DC=higher of original or Spell
Amplify Elixir: Personal, 1 round/lvl, any potion either Empowered (variable+50%) or Extended (Dbl duration)
Arcane Sight: 1 min/lvl, like detect magic but no concentrate needed.
Aura Sight: 1 min/lvl, like detect chaos/evil/good/law, but don’t need to concentrate
Burst of Speed: SWIFT +20 to speed, movement no AoO, & move through squares w/ critters larger than you )
Bloodhound: 1 hour/lvl, gain scent ability, +8 Perception w/ smell, +4 Survival track, -4 v stench attacks
Countless Eyes: 1 hour/lvl, all around vision, cannot be flanked
Cure Serious Wounds: 3d8+lv (+15 max)
Delay Poison, Communal: 1 hour/lvl divided up among whomever
Disable Construct: 1 round/lvl, melee touch attack, Will save, construct helpless for duration
Displacement: 1 round/lvl, 50% miss as if total conceal, but doesn’t prevent targeting. True Seeing neg
Draconic Reservoir: 10 min/lvl, absorb 6xCaster level (60 max), can release 1d6 in touch att (up to max absorbed)
Elemental Aura: 1 round/lvl: Reflex save
Eruptive Postules: 1 min/lvl, if struck in melee, attacker takes 1d6 acid & save or sickened 1 rd. Crit, save or nauseated
Fly: 1 min/lvl, 60’ fly speed, good maneuverability
Gaseous Form: 2 min/lvl, DR 10/magic, immune poison, sneak & crits
Haste: 1 rd/lvl, 1 creature/lvl, +1 AC, Ref & Att, gain 1 extra att if full att (and any mvmt+30 (max dbl))
Heroism: 10 min/lvl, +2 morale on att, save & skill
Lightning Lash Bomb Mixture: target +3 others dam by splash (alch choice), 1d6 damage if move more than 5’ for duration (1 rd/lvl)
Orchid’s Drop: drinking mutagen cures 2d10 and +2 alch bonus on all saves for 1 hour/level
Pro from Energy: 10 min/lvl, absorbs 12 pts/lvl until discharged
Remove Blindness/Deafness: Instantaneous
Remove Curse: Caster lvl check (1d20+lvl)
Remove Disease: Caster lvl check (1d20+lvl) v DC of Disease
Resist Energy, Communal: 10 min/lvl, divide up among as you see fit
Seek Thoughts: 40’ emanation, up to 1 min/lvl (concentration), surface info, simple Q or general topic (Will save resists)
Spider Climb, Communal: 10 min/lvl, 20’ Climb speed, +8 racial bonus on Climb, retain Dex on AC
Thorn Body: 1 round/lvl, anyone striking w/out reach/range 1d6+caster lvl piercing. Grapple 2d6+CL, unarmed +1d6 P, persist trans
Tongues: 10 min/lvl
Undead Anatomy I: 1 min/lvl, assume form of Undead (Small or Med)
Waterbreathing: 2 hours/lvl, divide evenly among all you touch
Level 4 Formulas DC=22 3/day
Air Walk, Communal: 10 min/lvl divided among recipients,
Cure Critical: 4d8+1/lvl (Max 20) 4d8+11
Death Ward: 1 min/lvl, +4 morale v death, save even if no save, immune to Energy Drain and any Neg Energy effect
Duplicate Familiar: 10 min/lvl
Echolocation: 10 min/lvl, Blindsense 40’
Elemental Body 1: 1 min/lvl Small Elemental
Freedom of Movement: 10 min/lvl, immune to Grapple, paralysis, solid fog, slow, and web
Greater Invisibility: 1 round/lvl, even through attacks, +40 Stealth, +20 if moving.
Neutralize Poison: Caster Lvl check, (1d20+CL) a/g DC or each poison
Monstrous Physique II: 1 min/lvl, from Tiny: +4 size to dex, -2 str, +1 natural armor, to Large +4 size to Str,-2 Dex, +4 nat arm
Mutagenic Touch: Touch att: +2/-4 dex/wis, str/int, con/cha, for remaining duration, Mental under 3, Confused!
Restoration: 1 minute casting, 100gp all ability dam, all ability drain to 1 stat, temp neg lvl, 1000gp perm lvl
Spell Immunity: 10 min/lvl, immune to one specified 4th- spell/four levels (2 now) Spell Resist must apply
Stoneskin: 10/lvl, DR 10/adamantine until absorbs 10xCaster Level (Max 150)
Viper Bomb Admixture: 1 rd/ lvl, main target and up to three also hit with splash get +16/18 touch att for 1d4+8/10 dmg & dc 13 Fort
Universal Extract: Becomes any 3rd lvl or lower extract
Did I mention he's spent a ton on his formula book? You're losing formatting on this, and many descriptions are specific to his character stats, etc. If you want to PM me with email address, I could send it as a Word doc, with formatting, including highlighting of the best ones (for him, as a bomb-focused grenadier)
"May the blessings of Gad Gemple be upon you," and he reaches out, and uses Arcane Mark to inscribe a large GG on the cover of Lorian's journal. He nods solemnly and moves off.
unless I hear objections, we'll move on to Taldan woman in the morning...
Isme begins a brief dissertation on the biological and sociological habits of velociraptors, with a few pointed comments directed at Shaine, who seems oblivious of the barbs. Indeed he is nearly atwitter with her shared knowledge.
She concludes with, "And of course, the best place to damage them is right here," emphasized with a strong thrust that finishes the beast, "where their natural armor is weakest under the shoulder joint, allowing easy access to the heart."
As the velociraptor slumps to the ground, the glowing human begins to clap slowly and loudly, striding forward with a confident gait. Speaking in Taldane (i.e. Common), he bellows in as big of a voice as he can muster, ”Well done, mortals. You are indeed worthy to speak with such an august, divine being as myself. What boon do you seek of the living avatar of Aroden?”
Shaine snorts out loud, then pulls out a handkerchief to cover his laugh, saying quietly to your group. "I did mention the spell's energy might be having odd effects on these people, right? And no, I don't mean achieving demi-godhood..."
Cognatogen, Freedom of Mvmt, Barkskin, Absorb Toxicity, See Invisibility, Stoneskin CL15, Heroism CL5, Shield, Ill of Calm, Red Person 12min, EH avail, Re-roll avail
Conditions:
Thanks, guys. I needed to vent my spleen. I should've kept it to myself, but it's been a frustrating day. And I appreciate the suggestion about re-build, but I think I'd rather retire ol' Hairy, even if he and his G-Nome pals were the talk of several Gen Cons. (That's pronounced GEE-Nome, because there ain't nothin' silent about a G-Nome...) I just can't see Hairy being willing to turn his back on Riddywhipple...
Sigh.
If you're curious, here's his appearance and his background:
Crazy & Hairy:
Crazy Hairy is one of the smallest, puniest Gnomes you’ve ever seen. He has orange skin, and hair that looks a lot like a "troll-doll" that spikes to a point on top. It's deep red at the roots, ranging up into orange, with vibrant yellow at the tips (i.e. kind of looks like a candle flame). He carries a longbow, a wide assortment of bottles and vials (steel and iron for his consumables, glass for the weapons) on crossed bandoliers, attached to his belt and his backpack. He wears a very nice looking cestus over one arm, carries a buckler, and may have a chain shirt under his robes and collection of vials and bags.
He’s very twitchy, and he seems fond of scratching and muttering curses at the large, hairy growth at the base of the back of his neck. Except as you keep watching, you notice he’s not really scratching it, more like petting it. And once you get close enough to hear, the muttered curses actually sound more like whispered sweet nothings.
Then he holds out his hand to the nasty looking tumor, and it crawls onto his hand, taking on the shape of a Fairie Dragon.
.
BACKGROUND: Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm (pronounced: ZTAH-yah-TAR-klan-BOH-lad-KRism--the last “zk” is silent) comes from a small tribe of Lava Gnomes that lived in the depths of Island of Hermea. When Menkgare discovered the tribe, he drove them out, but kept the most talented illusionists as part of his breeding program, and Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm is a descendant of that bloodline. Unfortunately for Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm, he was born with too much Lava Gnome in his veins, so he was exiled from the Island of Hermea since the age of 16 (very young for a gnome).
After struggling to survive, Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm found his way to Gogpodda. Unfortunately, Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm soon wore out his welcome; for some reason, residents of a small floating island made up on flotsam and jetsam didn't appreciate someone with a proclivity to start fires. Go figure.
After a number of years wandering from nation to nation, town to town, usually a mere half step ahead of the local arson investigators, Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm was taken in by a member of the Alchemist Guild of Katapesh, who recognized and channeled Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm's innate abilities with fire. After completing his training, Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm resumed his wandering ways, looking for bigger and better things to blow up. Along the way, he formed a bond with Stricken, the Greensting Scorpion who became his hairy tumorous familiar.
Then one day, he stumbled upon a group of gnomes who seemed to relish kicking the crap out of each other...and anyone who got in their way. They called themselves the GEE-Nomes, ‘cause there ain’t nothin’ silent about a G-Nome. He had finally found a real home...
Explosions and hilarity have been his life ever since.
At first, his G-Nome homeboys just called him "Zee", but after a heist ended with Zztasjatartklanboladkrzzkm blowing up most of a city block, the G-Nomes now call him Crazy. And as Crazy's addiction to greensting scorpion poison became more prominent, with his familiar constantly in hand, they started to refer to his tumor familiar as Hairy, forming the dynamic duo of Crazy & Hairy.
After the G-nomes went to work for the Sczarni faction, some of the Sczarni henchmen overheard the G-nomes referring to the dynamic duo and mistook it as a single name for just the gnome, hence the outside world calls him Crazy Hairy.
But the G-nomes know: he’s just Crazy…
RE-PREE-ZENT!!! G-Nome in da HOUSE!!!
[The G-Nomes are sort of a street gang of gnomes whose culturally speaking are a cross between hip-hop (West Coast) and Fight Club. (See Larry Correia's Monster Hunter series--used with permission)]
For those of you looking for a happy ending, Crazy finally did kick his greensting scorpion poison habit after an extended stay in the Betty Fey Clinic. Riddywhipple was his sponsor, and to this day attempts to keep Zee on the strait and narrow...though they both do enjoy Riddy's breath weapon a little too much to be considered healthy.
And that's all from BEFORE his many adventures working as muscle for the Sczarni (and he's got the boon to still claim his Szcarni-hood). Like the time he saved the day and completed the mission by bullying an Ulfen Barbarian Lord who was out of line--that's right, a 3' nothin' Gnome with a strength of 5 puttin' the big strapping teutonic warrior in his place with a little ol' Intimidation. Or the numerous times he blew the livin' crud out of the Blackros Museum (a bit ironic, now that one of his fellow pyromaniac G-Nomes has married into the Blackros family). Or the time he begged Guaril not to abandom him and his fellow G-Nome Sczarni goons...by applying quick-drying alchemical glue to Guaril's boots so he literally couldn't walk away. Or the time he used an extract, a bomb, a vomit swarm and a FAIRIE DRAGON TUMOR FAMILIAR thankyouverymuch to entertain the masses at the Grand Lodge during a Grand Convocation. Or the time he almost TPKed his own group in Bonekeep. Ahhh... good times.
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Oh, and did I mention that he's also a Master Chymist, which means he has an alter-ego mutagenic form: a female halfling who goes by the name Bombshell? (And Riddywhipple likes her SO much more than Crazy...Familiars. Go figure.)
Wow, I'm just totally going through the stages of grief here.
Knowledge Arcana is the relevant skill.
Zavubak, it is indeed out of reach, even of a normal reach weapon. (Enlarged with a reach weapon would do it for melee.) Probably time to dust off the longbow...
While seldom is heard an encouraging word, Lorian's word is inspiring...
Ajaline's arrow strikes even deeper, though Barl's bolt still deflects off its scales.
At long last, the Pathfinder Society has reassembled the Numerian device known as the Sky Key. Initial tests suggest it is capable of projecting a location’s past into the present, allowing Society agents to peruse books from destroyed libraries and speak with echoes of long-dead heroes. Now that it has perfected the Sky Key’s controls, the Pathfinder Society is prepared to extract a slice of Absalom’s history and bring it into the present; however, there’s no telling what might be waiting inside—or who in the present might wish to wield the same power.
Written by Crystal Frasier.
This is a recruitment thread for The Sky Key Solution for the 5th PbP Gameday. The game will run from August 27th to October 11th. Either Tier 1-2 or 3-4, depending upon who/what signs up, first come, first served.
Since this is a timed scenario run across multiple tables, I will expect at least one post a day for each participant, in order to keep up with the other tables. I reserve the right to put you in delay to keep things moving.
To sign up, please post the following information:
Player Name (or alias):
Character Name:
PFS#:
Dayob if applicable:
Email address: You're welcome to pm it to me (or put it in a spoiler).
Specialty: Anything special I should know, a boon, a game mechanic that you use, etc.
I will also need you to have all your character details entered in your profile or provide a link to your character sheet (you can signup now, then provide character sheet/details no later than Aug 23).
General alchemical materials are part of alchemist's kit (25gp, 5lb), portable lab, permanent lab and/or Artisan's Shop (the last one being a vanity available for 5PP in PFS play). If he has the kit, he doesn't actually _need_ any toxin from critters to make antitoxin--that's just a player adding flavor (good flavor imnsho; if it were a home game & I was gm, i'd discount crafting costs a bit). But regardless, even in PFS, just follow crafting rules for Craft (Alchemy) means he can make antitoxin (in PFS, it'd be at 1/3 cost). Time is the biggest factor in crafting, until he gets Swift Alchemy at 3rd level, and/or takes the Master Alchemist feat.
