Last one to post wins


Forum Games

18,101 to 18,150 of 34,582 << first < prev | 358 | 359 | 360 | 361 | 362 | 363 | 364 | 365 | 366 | 367 | 368 | next > last >>

OBSTRUCTION!!! SPECT... SPET...SPECIFICATION!!! KEELHAUL THEM!!! AVAST!!!

*looks over to IHIYC*

*whispers*

Me doing good, yes? Not talking about the stuff you did, right? Get more food later?

Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.

*big thumbs up*


Well, he definitely passed the bar exam. As in he eats giant metal bars.

Sovereign Court

*Clears throat authoritatively.*

In light of the evidence before me...

*Points to said 'evidence' that's on the courtroom floor.*

I find the defendant, not guilty! However, GoatToucher has informed me that you, IHIYC, have signed a contract to be his personal slave for a whole week. You may repeal in three days, until then, court is adjourned.

*Bangs gavel to signal that the hearing is over.*


*eats AoZK*

*burps*


Well that WAS fun. And now I win.

Scarab Sages

*tears up contract* I have Warlock levels - breaking contracts and getting away with it is one of my most basic class features!

Sovereign Court

*Appears from a pool of blood that suddenly sprouts from the floor.*

I do not appreciate what you did, Bleached Otyugh. Oh and IHIYC, it doesn't matter if you read the contract up or not, GoatToucher always gets his intended targets.

Sovereign Court

Tear*


So do I.

*grabs GoatToucher and disappears with him*

DC 22 Perception check:
It was wearing an extra-thick electrum-lined rubber sanitary glove.


FOOD STAYS FOOD!!!

*chases AoZK with obvious intent of eating him*


TripHoppenSkip wrote:
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE...nope too easy.

Before i read your post i was thinking the same.

Bleached Otyugh, if you take a turn left, then the 3rd on the right, you'll cut off AoZK's path of escape.


Avenue of Escape was the name of my college punk-funk-bluegrass band! Oh, the memories...


Your college band didn't tell you of the slow acting poison they fed you. I win.


That's kind of an overblown description of beer, but whatever floats your boat.

Sovereign Court

Beer is nice and all, but personally I'm a red wine man myself.


I'll go for non-alcoholic white beer.

Tasty and no side-effects.
'tis true, i've never been drunk in my entire life, and had others baffled with this statement.

Well, better them having a hangover than me.


:reappears with The CLAW on all fours, wearing a leash:

Well, that was a bit of fun, and we all learned a lesson about touching without asking, didn't we?


It is better not to know.

Dark Archive

*takes headpiece off hazmat suit, bites into acid-tooth and spits-quick-acting solution onto leash collar*

FOOL!!! I had almost Gotten the CLAW! Now it will simply continue to be a menace to us all!


*floats a short distance behind GoatToucher, gripping a portion of somebody's liver wrapped in a shred of bloody yellow silk, and coated in candy sprinkles*

Oh, what tangled webs we weave....


I don't think it is going anywhere, not until he recovers from the shock.


Well, it just so happens that one of my business cards reads "Ventnor: Shock Recoverer." What seems to be the problem?

Scarab Sages

Well, Ventnor, it seems that for the last 16 years or so, I've been watching my country, which I once sincerely believed in, become an endless parade of atrocities, betrayals, disgraces, and devolution, and it has come to the point where I have lost my ability to be shocked.


Well.....i dare say that, if it could be linked, i could arrange that.

It involves [redacted] & [redacted], and most seriously [redacted].
Given, that's not even with GoatToucher into the equation.

Sovereign Court

That's one seriously messed up equation! On a more pleasant note, I've recently acquired a xenomorph hive complete with six alien queens. So now you know where most people on this thread are. I did offer myself as a sacrifice, but I was deemed unfit for purpose.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Avatar of Zon-Kuthon wrote:
On a more pleasant note, I've recently acquired a xenomorph hive complete with six alien queens. So now you know where most people on this thread are.

*shrugs* I don't know about anyone else, but I'm still Hiding In Your Closet.

Dark Archive

Avatar of Zon-Kuthon wrote:
That's one seriously messed up equation!

I've seen worse.

I've invented worse. And published them.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Avatar of Zon-Kuthon wrote:
That's one seriously messed up equation! On a more pleasant note, I've recently acquired a xenomorph hive complete with six alien queens. So now you know where most people on this thread are. I did offer myself as a sacrifice, but I was deemed unfit for purpose.

YUH. I AM IN UR HIVE, EATIN UR QUEENS.


*eyes widen* Why, that's...HOW MUCH experience?


Seeing as no one has learned anything, I guess it would be 0. 0 experience.

Sovereign Court

Firstly, I mean those who haven't posted in a while (about a week or so). Secondly, those were Praetorian rank xenomorphs, not queens. Thirdly, the praetorians only give 10,000 xp. And finally, please stop eating my xenomorphs Bleached Otyugh! If you are hungry, then eat yourself, your entire left side is made of juicy salami!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

YOU BAD MAN. YOU SUGGEST ME EAT MYSELF? THAT CULTU... CUT... VERY BIG THING WITH OTYUGHS. YOU ARE NOT FOOD! NEVER EAT YOU. OTHER OTYUGHS ARE GOOD, SPECIALLY IF THEY DEAD. BUT NOT EAT YOU.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

There is a lesson in that for all of us.


:nods: I guess AoZK still has a lot of growing up to do.

Sovereign Court

It's not my fault that GoatToucher passed the original curriculum of my teachings with flying colours and realising that it was old and boring so needed a radical shake up. I admit that I'm still struggling with the changes, but the church has been booming, so I'm happy with the results.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

{quietly nibbles on sleeping Bleached Otyugh}


What makes you think he is sleeping?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

If he wasn't sleeping, he'd be chewing on me.


How many Otyughs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seriously, someone tell me. I don't know.


None, they just eat them.


Ooooo, 1d4 ⇒ 2 goblin babies love light-bu-lbs!! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.


I'll just put those goblin babies right into the slow cooker, thank you very much. In a few hours we'll have delicious pulled-goblin sandwiches!


I prefer pushed-goblin sandwiches myself, but that DOES sound good.


Ventnor wrote:

How many Otyughs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seriously, someone tell me. I don't know.

Depends on what you want to change it into.


A space rocket.

Sovereign Court

What about a futuristic battle tank powered by the sun itself? And I don't mean solar powered, I mean having the sun as it's actual engine.


It can't beat my laser canon powered by the collective shame of everyone within a one mile radius.

Not after I'm through with my neighbors, anyway.


The world never was the same after the discovery of shame fusion. It's what powers stars with low self-esteem, you know.

Scarab Sages

"Shame Fusion" - is that like, a musical genre that blends Mexican polka, country, hip-hop, bluegrass, and '000s pop, or what?

18,101 to 18,150 of 34,582 << first < prev | 358 | 359 | 360 | 361 | 362 | 363 | 364 | 365 | 366 | 367 | 368 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Gamer Life / Forum Games / Last one to post wins All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.